My nanny is speaking spanish to my kids

I love our nanny. I do not want to be rude, but she is speaking Spanish to my kids and I wish she would stop. Jack and Lily are really starting to talk and learn new words and I feel like it is hard enough as it is, I wish that she would just say go get the "ball" instead of go get the "boula" or whatever it is she is saying.

I really admire people that raise their children to be bi-lingual but we are not bi-lingual so I guess I would just rather they learn the English words. They are a little behind verbally and I just do not think this is helping.

Also, I recommended our nanny to my friend and she used her on Saturday night to babysit. My friend told me yesterday that my nanny said she was speaking to Jack and Lily in Spanish. The friend I am refering to is raising her son bi-lingual (Portuguese and English) and she thought our Nanny was telling her this in confidence, like she did not want me to know about using Spanish at my house with Jack and lily.

I hate to be rude and she is only with them 12 hours a week, but still, I am really working on language with them and I don't think it is helping.

I am sorry I am rambling but I am sitting inside on my computer right now and I can hear her speaking to them IN ALL SPANISH, EVERYWORD and it is making me more and more mad...Help, should I leave it alone, am I mad for no reason???

 

If you don't like it, I would say something. They are your kids and it's your choice if you want them to learn Spanish or not.

 

I would definitely say something to her. Of course I would be nice about, because I seriously doubt if she is doing it maliciously. It is definitely within your right to raise your kids as you see fit. Good Luck!

 

QUOTE(angie7 @ Nov 10 2008, 02:43 PM) [snapback]1064010[/snapback]
If you don't like it, I would say something. They are your kids and it's your choice if you want them to learn Spanish or not.



Thanks, It is not even that I do not like it, I just do not see the point. NO ONE in my children's family, with the exception of our nanny, speaks Spanish. That being said, we are really in that time where they are trying to learn words right now, why confuse them with Spanish when no one in their life speaks it. I definitely think it is important to learn in the future, but now????
I also sort of feel like she is being sneaky about it.

 

Definitely say something. It's not like it's a language they are going to keep, being that no one else in your family speaks spanish. It's just going to slow down their learning of the English language. Just request that she only speak English with the kids.

 

I would ask her to stop. And I think you really have two seperate issues with your nanny. One is the Spanish, which should be a straightforward thing to change. I can't remember if you have posted on this before. (?) I can understand how a word or two can pop out here and there for a native speaker, but she should be making an effort to not use Spanish with them if that is the parents preference.

I would probably be more upset at the idea that she is trying to do anything at all that is a secret, or in a sneaky way. She should not be trying to do anything that she thinks you wouldn't like with your kids behind your back. As far as being mad, I wouldn't be mad about the Spanish if you haven't specifically asked her not to yet, but I would be very upset at the idea of doing something behind my back she didn't think I would want.

 

(Did you want this in 1-4?)

In the effort to have the outcome be a good one, I would talk to the pedi - find out if it is REALLY hampering their language development and then use the pedi's recommendation as the basis for the conversation with her. That way it's a little more 'out of your hands'.... just a thought.

Good luck!

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Nov 10 2008, 11:02 AM) [snapback]1064055[/snapback]
(Did you want this in 1-4?)

In the effort to have the outcome be a good one, I would talk to the pedi - find out if it is REALLY hampering their language development and then use the pedi's recommendation as the basis for the conversation with her. That way it's a little more 'out of your hands'.... just a thought.

Good luck!


Very diplomatic! But you are paying her to do a job - and she is not doing it how you would like it done. Simple. Ask her politely to stop.

 

QUOTE(ThreeLittleSnowflakes @ Nov 10 2008, 10:58 AM) [snapback]1064047[/snapback]
I can understand how a word or two can pop out here and there for a native speaker, but she should be making an effort to not use Spanish with them if that is the parents preference.

agreed. a slip of the tongue is one thing. speaking entirely in a language that is not the parents' primary language is quite another. it's quite likely that she's speaking to them lovingly, and that's an emotion best expressed in her native tongue. i'm sure she means no harm. but they're your children, not hers. you don't owe her a debate or a discussion, she's an employee. be polite but definitely correct her actions so that she's doing the job you feel comfortable paying for.

 

From an acquisition of language standpoint, her speaking in spanish will not hurt their english language development, and may help them later in life if they decide they would like to learn spanish. Foreign languages are often required in schools (at least, they were when I was in school), so if they are exposed at a young age and those language pathways are formed early in the brain, it could very much help them later in life.


However, if you don't want them to ever speak spanish, tell her to stop.

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Nov 10 2008, 09:35 AM) [snapback]1064095[/snapback]
From an acquisition of language standpoint, her speaking in spanish will not hurt their english language development, and may help them later in life if they decide they would like to learn spanish. Foreign languages are often required in schools (at least, they were when I was in school), so if they are exposed at a young age and those language pathways are formed early in the brain, it could very much help them later in life.
However, if you don't want them to ever speak spanish, tell her to stop.


I agree. I have also read that exposure to a second language at this point actually benefits brain development in many other areas. Even if the children don't use the Spanish, they will still benefit from the exposure in having more dendritic connections and more overall flexibility in their brains. My children were not exposed to a second language (I wish they had been!), but still 3 of the 4 talked late. That just runs in my family. I would consider this a valuable benefit your nanny offers. It will actually help them learn *any* other foreign language later, because their brains will have been doubly primed for language acquisition.

 

QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Nov 10 2008, 08:41 AM) [snapback]1064108[/snapback]
I agree. I have also read that exposure to a second language at this point actually benefits brain development in many other areas. Even if the children don't use the Spanish, they will still benefit from the exposure in having more dendritic connections and more overall flexibility in their brains. My children were not exposed to a second language (I wish they had been!), but still 3 of the 4 talked late. That just runs in my family. I would consider this a valuable benefit your nanny offers. It will actually help them learn *any* other foreign language later, because their brains will have been doubly primed for language acquisition.


I was just going to post this same thing. No one in my family speaks Spanish, but I had hoped to find a nanny who did so that my girls could be exposed early. I figured they might not learn Spanish fluently but they would at least develop the pathways in their brain so they'd have an easier time in the future.

That said, if you're opposed to your kids learning any Spanish words, you should tell your nanny. It's your choice and she needs to respect it.

 

Maybe your nanny is trying to do the sneaky thing as a happy surprise to you? As in, one day Jack and Lilly say "gato" when they see a cat and then your children look really intelligent because they are speaking two languages?

However, I completely agree that if you do not want her to speak Spanish then that is your right and should be quite easy to fix.

 

ITA, if you don't want her to speak it to your children as her employer you should have that right to ask her not too. I am not an expert if that inhibits their speech development. We have two languages here and they seem to be okay. They haven't said any words in the second language but they understand them. Also I know that they can't learn a language I don't know. I wouldnt' want them going around talking and I have no idea what they are saying. So I know where you are coming from!

 

I agree with the PP who stated that it will not hurt them and may even help their brain development. My four year old was in speech at 2.5 and we had a spanish speaking Nanny. Our ST was fine with it. We have the same Nanny to this day and I think he knows 5 spanish words... but his English is beautiful. I hope that he has an easier time learning a second language when he is older because of his exposure (and now my twins) to her.

If I had to guess, I don't think your Nanny was being "sneaky" - I bet she's proud and she thinks she is doing something good.

I wouldn't worry so much Mama! They will talk - and then you will wonder why you wanted them too!

That being said... they are yours, and if you don't want them exposed to a second language, by all means say something (but say it gently if you love how she treats your babies).

 

I agree with the PP's that being exposed to a foreign language wont hurt the babies language development and in the long term could prove very helpful.
That being said I was a nanny for 5 plus years so in my opinion she should of asked before she did anything as major as speaking another language to your kids. I don't know if she is trying to sneak it behind your back or not because i don't know here but any major thing like that should always be cleared through parent PERIOD!

 

QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Nov 10 2008, 07:41 AM) [snapback]1064108[/snapback]
I agree. I have also read that exposure to a second language at this point actually benefits brain development in many other areas. Even if the children don't use the Spanish, they will still benefit from the exposure in having more dendritic connections and more overall flexibility in their brains. My children were not exposed to a second language (I wish they had been!), but still 3 of the 4 talked late. That just runs in my family. I would consider this a valuable benefit your nanny offers. It will actually help them learn *any* other foreign language later, because their brains will have been doubly primed for language acquisition.


I agree as well. I see you live in Florida...isn't Spanish practically the primary language? That's how it is here in LA. I've asked my nanny to teach them Spanish and while I don't always understand them and their English may be moving a bit more slowly, I'm confident this will only benefit them.

I understand wanting the nanny to do as you have requested (I have a major list of our nanny not doing what we want), but I guess I'm surprised by how upset this is making you. That said, you are the boss, I would just be careful not to offend her.

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Nov 10 2008, 03:02 PM) [snapback]1064055[/snapback]
(Did you want this in 1-4?)

In the effort to have the outcome be a good one, I would talk to the pedi - find out if it is REALLY hampering their language development and then use the pedi's recommendation as the basis for the conversation with her. That way it's a little more 'out of your hands'.... just a thought.

Good luck!



yes, i did mean to place this in 1-4 but i do appreciate all of the responses that I received here. Can you help me move this?

Again, thank you to ALL of the moms for their responses.

Thanks,
Amy

 

QUOTE
Thanks, It is not even that I do not like it, I just do not see the point. NO ONE in my children's family, with the exception of our nanny, speaks Spanish. That being said, we are really in that time where they are trying to learn words right now, why confuse them with Spanish when no one in their life speaks it. I definitely think it is important to learn in the future, but now????
I also sort of feel like she is being sneaky about it.


My husband speaks to my children in Spanish and English. He did so with my older children as well. What it did was raise children who speak both languages fluently. They speak English with me and Spanish with their Dad (when appropriate). They also have the added benefit of being able to get jobs that require a bilingual person when they are adults. Learning a second language is NEVER a bad thing and the earlier the easier for them. Personally, I think that your Nanny speaking to them in Spanish is wonderful. The kids will not be confused. They learn EXTREMELY quickly that there are certain words you say in English to Mommy and you speak other words in Spanish to the Nanny.

The one phase that bothered me in what you wrote was this:
"why confuse them with Spanish when no one in their life speaks it."

Their Nanny speaks it. So do a WHOLE lot of other people in FL...

Could you be more angry, perhaps, that she is doing something with them that you are unable to do also?

 

So, we reached an agreement. I think what was blothering me is that she was speaking entirely in spanish to them. I suggested that I am okay with this as long as she puts the English words in there also. For example, if she is teaching them "shoe" in Spanish, I asked that she also teach "shoe" in English as well - show the object and use both terms.

I don't know if this is the "right" way to do it or not but it made me feel better. I also mentioned that Dh and I might need a lesson or two so we know what the heck they are talking about.

 

QUOTE(ahmerl @ Nov 10 2008, 12:16 PM) [snapback]1064375[/snapback]
So, we reached an agreement. I think what was blothering me is that she was speaking entirely in spanish to them. I suggested that I am okay with this as long as she puts the English words in there also. For example, if she is teaching them "shoe" in Spanish, I asked that she also teach "shoe" in English as well - show the object and use both terms.

I'm glad you found a solution. I, too, will tell you I think having somebody teaching another language will completely benefit their little brains, as well as benefit them socially when older. I so wished I spoke Spanish, just to communicate with others in our community (we are in a high hispanic population area). You don't know where they will end up when they are grown, they may thank you for it someday!

 

I would love it if I had someone to teach my kids a 2nd language I think it is so important now a days to know more than one language. We lived in Texas for 5 years and I became pretty fluent so I will do my best to teach my kids myself. What a gift it is to a child when their little brains are just starting to develop, I've actually heard that is the easiest time for them to learn a 2nd language.

 

Sounds like a great solution! And I agree with pps that bilingual exposure can only be helpful, and can't hurt their language development. DH speaks mostly Greek to the babies, and I speak mostly English to them, and they have enormous vocabularies (many hundreds of words, though mostly English) and are already making sentences (2-3 word sentences for DS, 6+ word sentences for DD).

 

QUOTE(ahmerl @ Nov 10 2008, 12:16 PM) [snapback]1064375[/snapback]
So, we reached an agreement. I think what was blothering me is that she was speaking entirely in spanish to them. I suggested that I am okay with this as long as she puts the English words in there also. For example, if she is teaching them "shoe" in Spanish, I asked that she also teach "shoe" in English as well - show the object and use both terms.

I don't know if this is the "right" way to do it or not but it made me feel better. I also mentioned that Dh and I might need a lesson or two so we know what the heck they are talking about.


Actually, that sounds like a wonderful idea...promote the 2nd language, but *also* work on the English. That's great!! Because like others have said, the 2nd language will end up benefiting them so much later on in life!

 

Since my girls are delayed in speech I can see where you are coming from. I worry very much about their delays too. However I would love for my girls to be bi or multi lingual. My DH and his family speak Turkish and French. I would love for him to speak these languages to them but he doesn't. Their nanny speaks Portuguese and she doesn't know English words for some things. I ask her to work on specific things in English like body parts, objects, colors, etc. I think if you don't want her to speak anything but English, she is your employee and youshould just tell her want you want. It can be done tactfully and politely.

 

I agree with you on asking her to use spanish and english.... but I also see them getting a great benefit for free by learning spanish..(which seems to be as fluent at english these days) I plan to put mine in spanish classes in school..... I hopt it all works out ..

 

I speak Spanish fluently, but English is my native language. I have such a hard time speaking to children in Spanish. My instinct is to speak English, because that is where I am most comfortable. I think maybe speaking English the whole time if very mentally draining. I would cut her a little more slack.

 

I can understand you're point. I think it would be very confusing if they were asking for something in Spanish and you didn't have a clue as to what they were wanting. This happened to a nanny I know who was in a home in which the father only spoke Russian to the child and the mother only spoke English. The nanny had to call the mother and ask her what the child was asking for because she was speaking in Russian. So in that case, it would be confusing. Also, you are paying her, so you shouldn't "feel bad" about asking her to change if that is your wish--it's your money. But, I also agree with the prior posts, there will be an advantage for your children being introduced to a second language. Plus, with Spanish speaking immigrants on the rise, it will probably benefit your children in the long run if they are exposed to it for a long period of time.

 

I'm so glad you found some middle ground that you are comfortable with...
My dd (the twins mom) is bi-lingual in Spanish and English and I'm so glad she had the opportunity to learn Spanish early and well. Her job requires her to be bi-lingual and she uses her Spanish daily. She has also traveled to many Spanish speaking countries and I love that she's so "global"! She and DH are teaching the boys both languages. They do have speech delays- in fact their evaluation was this morning... it turns out they are only behind by a couple of months and it has nothing to do with two languages.
I have also heard that learning a second language is much easier if started early..

 

When I was born, my family lived in Greece and we had a Greek speaking housekeeper. My mom tells me that I would have full conversations in Greek with her! We moved back state-side by the time I was 15 months old and I don't even know if I'd recognize Greek if I heard it today. I didn't have any problems learning English and I read at a very early age. I also tend to pick up other languages very easily, though I've never taken the time to become fluent in any second language....someday.

I think its great that you came to an agreement with your nanny, but I do understand what a struggle it can be for a non-native speaker to "stay" in one language for extended periods of time. Happily, this can be a learning experience for all of you!!

 

Thank you for all of your replies. I also just wanted to point out that English is my nanny's first language, she was born in the US.

I talked with DH last night and he is not bothered by the Spanish in the least. I talked with my nanny this morning and encouraged her to speak Spanish to them but again noted that I would prefer that they learn concepts like colors, counting, and animals in English first. I have no problem with things like ball, shoe, sun, moon, etc.... Anyway, thanks for all of your honest replies! I was probably being defensive about it because DH and I and gradmas, friends, etc... do not speak Spanish and I hate to not encourage their words just because I do not know they are actually using a word (in Spanish) and then I do not know what the heck they are talking about and think it is jibberish..kwim?

 

I know I'm late in joining the conversation here, but I don't think there's any harm in politely letting her now. In fact, you can blame it on their doctor. Cross your fingers behind you back and tell her that the doctor thinks they are behind in language development and shouldn't be introduced to a second language until elementary school. But be very nice about it because a part-time nanny is hard to find, Spanish or not!

 

Hi ... just had to comment on below. My daughter is in the same environment w/a nanny who only speaks Spanish (the nanny actually knows very little English). No one in our family speaks Spanish either. But the point would be to expand opportunities for her in the future. It's great for these little brains to learn a 2nd language. Any slight delay in English being learned will be over-come. Personally, I'd encourage it. We live in California, so Spanish is a helpful language to know out here. It certainly would come in handy in Florida as well.

I actually was googling for an activity book written in Spanish that our nanny could read/use. It's been hard to find one. If anyone has come across one, please let me know.

QUOTE(ahmerl @ Nov 10 2008, 09:50 AM) [snapback]1064027[/snapback]
Thanks, It is not even that I do not like it, I just do not see the point. NO ONE in my children's family, with the exception of our nanny, speaks Spanish. That being said, we are really in that time where they are trying to learn words right now, why confuse them with Spanish when no one in their life speaks it. I definitely think it is important to learn in the future, but now????
I also sort of feel like she is being sneaky about it.