Need help with waking during the night

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by thea7, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. thea7

    thea7 Well-Known Member

    My twins will be 1 years old in a few days, and they still don't sleep through the night. We have a small house (two bedrooms, living room, and kitchen), so the twins share a bedroom. My DD typically wakes up between 2-4AM, crying, and if I let her keep crying she'll wake up her brother, then I'll have 2 crying babies. So I take her out of her crib and go in the living room with her; we usually end up sleeping on the couch. Then, between 4-5AM my DS wakes up and my DH will take him in our bed with him. The books I've read say you shouldn't take the kids out of the crib, but comfort them in the crib and let them cry if need be. But the books I have weren't written for twins. So, my question is, what should I do? If I don't take them out of their crib when they're crying I know the other one will wake up crying too. But my DH and I need some sleep! Any advice appreciated!

    thea
    misha and cyan 11 months old
     
  2. thea7

    thea7 Well-Known Member

    My twins will be 1 years old in a few days, and they still don't sleep through the night. We have a small house (two bedrooms, living room, and kitchen), so the twins share a bedroom. My DD typically wakes up between 2-4AM, crying, and if I let her keep crying she'll wake up her brother, then I'll have 2 crying babies. So I take her out of her crib and go in the living room with her; we usually end up sleeping on the couch. Then, between 4-5AM my DS wakes up and my DH will take him in our bed with him. The books I've read say you shouldn't take the kids out of the crib, but comfort them in the crib and let them cry if need be. But the books I have weren't written for twins. So, my question is, what should I do? If I don't take them out of their crib when they're crying I know the other one will wake up crying too. But my DH and I need some sleep! Any advice appreciated!

    thea
    misha and cyan 11 months old
     
  3. pyjamamum

    pyjamamum Well-Known Member

    Hi Thea,

    You've got lots of options, really. I reckon it really depends on what you're prepared to live with. You can live with things as they are now, and if you're getting enough sleep to get by, that's probably okay. But it sounds like you're not. You can also try and "fade out" your current strategies by - eg, taking your daughter out into the living room, comforting her, then putting her back into the cot drowsy but still awake. Or you can "do" controlled crying.

    To be honest, we've done a bit of all three. We were desperate for sleep when our girls were your twins' age. They often woke twice each per night. It turned out that for them, the cause was "glue ear", but if your kids have no medical problems, you may find that a week of "controlled crying" will earn you far more sleep. It's really painful. I hated doing it. But for a while - between ear infections - it did work. When the girls woke, we went in, gave them a cuddle and then said something like, "It's sleep time. You need to go back to sleep." Then I would leave the room and go out into the living room and try and read something light and trashy, or surf the internet. My husband tended to lie in bed, groaning quietly to himself with a pillow over his head. I would go back in at about ten minute intervals, and give another quick cuddle and reminder - "Time to sleep, love you."

    What we found was that yes, one baby would wake the other if we left them to cry. That was pretty hard to take. Interestingly, by the second or third night, if one did wake the other, the one who had been woken tended to just cry for a few minutes then go back to sleep. By night four or five, we were getting good sleep.

    The difficulty for us was that our girls then kept getting sick, and so every week or two I'd be woken by lots of crying. I would faithfully follow the ritual of controlled crying, only to realise after half an hour or so that the child who was crying actually had a fever or was feeling really unwell (I know, not too quick on the uptake at two a.m). So now, I make a point of always checking foreheads and listening closely to the kind of cry the girls are making and base my response on that. We've done controlled crying four or five times now to get our kids into a workable sleep pattern. Mind you, they're two now and they wake for other reasons - nightmares and so on. Still, it is a bit better than it was.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    Tania.
     
  4. FirstTimeMom814

    FirstTimeMom814 Well-Known Member

    I sympathize with you. DS didn't sleep through the night until 11 months and DD was sleeping through at 4 months. We tried the CIO method a few times with him and it didn't really work. I'm not sure what happened, but one night he just slept through. Now on the rare occasion that he wakes crying, I let him cry for about 10 minutes. Usually he settles back down and goes to sleep, if not I know something is up. I would say at the point you are at I would try CIO for a few nights to see if it will work. It will be a rough few days, but hopefully in the end you will be able to sleep. Also, if they are upset I try to no take them out of their cribs. I just pat their backs and tell them it's time for sleep. Good luck and keep us posted.
     
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