Newbie here and exhausted

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by davidfaithsmom, Nov 20, 2006.

    I have 3 year old boy/girl twins. The problem is that my son is having a hard time going to bed and I have to say I am part of the problem. I can get him to sleep by laying down with him or rocking him most of the time ( if I don't do this it is an all out war ). he will wake in the night about 3 or 4 hours after I put him to bed to tell me he has to go potty, after we do that he is in my bed. sometimes I can put him back in his bed and lay with him for a minute and he is back asleep, but most of the time this doesnt seem to work. my DD sleeps like an angel. I can tell her it is bedtime and she gets in the bed and off to sleep with no problem.
    I am a former member of twinstuff, I just havent been on in quite sometime now. any advice would be great!!!
     
  1. I have 3 year old boy/girl twins. The problem is that my son is having a hard time going to bed and I have to say I am part of the problem. I can get him to sleep by laying down with him or rocking him most of the time ( if I don't do this it is an all out war ). he will wake in the night about 3 or 4 hours after I put him to bed to tell me he has to go potty, after we do that he is in my bed. sometimes I can put him back in his bed and lay with him for a minute and he is back asleep, but most of the time this doesnt seem to work. my DD sleeps like an angel. I can tell her it is bedtime and she gets in the bed and off to sleep with no problem.
    I am a former member of twinstuff, I just havent been on in quite sometime now. any advice would be great!!!
     
  2. j_and_j_twins

    j_and_j_twins Well-Known Member

    I can sympathize but unfortunately don't have any answers. I have 3 year old fraternal girls and have not slept since they were born (honestly).

    We used to lie with them to get to sleep now we just sit in the room, I've let hubby take over that now too, as if it's me it takes 45 minutes him usually 10 minutes

    They're up and down all night, one comes in then the other comes in. The newest thing we are trying has been one week, we put them back in same room about 2 weeks ago (didn't help getting up), but now my husband is sleeping in their room on the floor and if they wake, just says, go back to sleep basically and they do. So he's gonna do that for 3 weeks (I think it takes 3 weeks to form habit), and then gradually move out to the hall.

    Everyone's probably saying not good idea!! but wot to do, we've tried everything, I can't stay awake one more night. Actually this week becoz I've know he's in there I've not even heard them, I've slept thru the night 1st time in over 3 years.

    Good luck and would love to hear other ideas off people.

    thanks amanda (mom of Jorja and Jessica)
     
  3. mnellson

    mnellson Well-Known Member

    We just started during nap time with sitting in the room, playing quiet music. They are not allowed to scream/fool around. If they do, I turn the music off and leave the room. I have only had to close the door once and they got the point. I NEVER thought that this approach would work with them. They are almost three, have never slept throuhg the night, and they can scream and carry on longer than I thought humanly possible. But, the day I started this I was at my withs end after dealing with an outrageous tantrum. I was "all business" and I think they could sense that I wasn't fooling around. The first day it took them 15-25 minutes to actually fall asleep. The past 4 days it's taken anywhere from 5-15 minutes for them to fall asleep. But, the lay quietly with their stuffed animals. Once in a while they might start laughing with each other or call out "Hi, Mama!". I remind them to be quiet or I'll take a time out, and they immediately stop. I still can't believe it!

    I havn't had the guts to try this at bedtime yet. I just wanted to share this to say that there is hope that you will find an approach that works for you and your family. I felt bad hearing them scram taht one time I closed the door, but it really got the message across. I stayed out for about one minute.

    The other suggestion I have is to limit his liquid intake after dinner. Does he really have to use the bathroom when he wakes up? Is that causing him to wake up in the first place?

    To J & J twins- I'm so glad that you are finally getting some sleep (I'm jealous, too!). I say , do WHATEVER works for your family!

    Good luck to all of us! Keep us posted.
     
  4. My twins have been in separate rooms since july of this year and for a while I could lay them both down at 9:00pm and they would go to sleep. It has just been about the last month and a half that my son has started this. It started out that he would get up around 12:30 to 1:30. Now it is more like 3:00 to 5:00. I cut off liquids between 6:30-7:30.
     
  5. Amy A

    Amy A Well-Known Member

    I know this isn't the answer you want to hear, but your children need to learn to fall alseep on their own. Your son is associating falling alseep with being held/rocked/snuggled next to you. So when he wakes up he wants to go potty because he know he is going to end up in bed with you after. I know it will be hard, but if this is a problem you want to end, it has to end by him learning to fall alseep on his own. I highly recommed the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. It explains the process quite well. We did CIO with success and I recommed it to everyone.
     
  6. CapeBretoner123

    CapeBretoner123 Well-Known Member

    I totally understand this thread. We had to lay down with them to get them to sleep as well. OR it would be screaming etc.
    Fh is 3000 miles away again this year. I did it last year , this year I had to time to sit up there an hour a night and HOPE they sleep. About a month and a half ago I was super tense and just didn't want to do it. They knew I was at the end of mommy's already short rope.
    I said no more...your big girls not babies. I did our normal routine, walked them into there room and told them I'm not staying anymore. Mild yelling. Kris told Lauren mommy's had enough...the banter was insane. They helped each other. But still took 45 mins of yelling mommy you there?
    I still am sitting on the stairs...Kristina likes to escape at times. But its so much better.There kids there gonna yell to us, make excuses. Potty excuses really pushed it over this past month.
    But I didn't back down...almost dorve me nuts some nights the constant yelling for me, but I wish I had done this sooner.Some nights its less then 5mins there out.
    I WILL NEVER AGAIN SLEEP IN THERE. unless there sick of course!! [​IMG]

    I think its takes a mom/dad alot of insanity to come to this point. For me it did...fh is far away. I was alone day and night and knew no help was coming . He will be home for 2 weeks at xmas but then gone again for 4months!
    Just do it one night your at your worst.They'll feel the tension and know you mean business. I think thats the most important part. MEAN IT. 3yr olds are smart they know how to pull strings. But yank back!

    Good luck!
     
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