Nighttime PTing

My twins will soon be turning four and have been daytime PTed for well over a year now. A couple of weeks ago DD said she wanted to sleep without a diaper and she was ready - she has had one tiny accident (just damp PJs) and once asked for a diaper, she goes to the potty on her own once every night (although she does ask to be tucked in again afterwards) and is dry.

DS of course also wanted to sleep without diapers, but he is clearly not ready. He wakes up soaking every morning and I have to strip his bed completely and launder sheets, covers, blankets, even stuffed animals every day. But he really wants to sleep without diapers although he have suggested that he takes a break and tries again in a few days. I don't want to use pressure, we were extremely hands-off with PTing so far and it worked well - so, we reassure him in the mornings that everything is ok and he helps strip his bed, we remind him at night to wake up and use the potty and that's it. I think he is just not ready: he is a very sound sleeper and never wakes up at night - DD can turn on the light, cry or talk, he will sleep through everything. His body does not seem to be reducing urine production at night either. What would you do - just continue washing every day and hoping it clicks soon, or wake him up to go potty once or twice every night, or put him back in diapers against his will?

 

I would leave him in pull ups. With Jack, we had a conversation that his body wasn't ready to wake up and go pee yet and that was okay and totally normal because people's bodies got ready to do things at different times. Anna was wearing underwear at night six months before Jack, but when he started he did great. Much better IMO than weeks or months of feeling like a failure every day.

 

I would probably brain storm solutions with him. Lay out the issues/concerns, brainstorm some ideas and see where you end up.

 

I would tell him his body is still learning how and put him back in pull-ups. I'd also do a chart/jar for 5 nights of dryness with the reward being wearing underwear.

 

I would get a calendar, and tell him that if he is dry for a full week, he can try underpants again. Then, when he is dry in the morning, put a sticker on the calendar. That way he can see and chart his progress. Marcus was day trained at 3 years, 3 months, but wore a pull up at night until he was almost 5. Jon trained a month or so before turning 4, and never wore another pull up--he was fine at night. Remind him that he can't control his body while he is sleeping, and his body just isn't ready to stay dry--yet. It will come in time...

 

Ditto the others. My daughter was day/night trained shortly after they turned 3. They turned 4 in feb and Liam still has accidents during the day, and soaks his pullup each and every night. There's no way I would be cleaning up/changing sheets daily. He'd have to wear a pullup or diaper every night. But I would still discuss with him about it, just as the others suggested.

 

My 5yo twins are still in pull ups honestly... they still wake up soaked.

 

Thank you! I will have another chat with him about waiting and seeing if his body is ready in a couple of weeks. So far, he does not seem to see waking up wet as a failure because we are very low-key about it, but he has been pretty determined that he does not want a diaper or pull-up either.

I am not sure a sticker chart for dry nights or something similar will work for him. He is one of the kids that are entirely self-motivated.

 

I agree with talking to him about his body not yet ready to be dry all night and I would say if you do stay dry at night for a certain amount of days, we will try the underwear again.
When we were PT-ing my son and he was not yet staying dry at night (we did the 3 day PT program with him, so he was in underwear), I laid down a couple of old towels and chux pad, so when he had an accident overnight-all I had to do was lay down new towels, a chux pad and change him. I don't know if this might help your son or not, one of the things we did when we did the 3 day thing with him was get him up an hour after going to bed and having him use the bathroom and doing the same an hour before he woke up for the day.
I think it's good that your son wants to stay dry at night and use underwear, he will get there!

 

The calendar I mentioned is not a reward chart, but rather a concrete method of tracking his progress. That way when you can say, we will try again when you can stay dry for 5 days or whatever, he can count on the calendar how many days he has been dry, or see his progress.

 

Ian PT'ed at 3.5 and was in pullups at night until well over 6 - we switched to the Good Nights bed pads at just over 6 so we didn't have to change sheets but he was going a few days here and there with being dry...he's finally dry at night (with the exception of an occasional accident - less than once a month) since about 6.5...

it takes a while sometimes...

 

Sharon, thank you for clarifying - yes, visualising his progress might work. I will give it a try.

 

For my good-sleeper , I had to remind her that she needs to wake up to pee in the midle the night. Whenever/If she stirred because of the sister's noise, then I'd ask lightly if she wants to wake up to pee too to avoid wetting bed (usually around 12-1am). This is more work but she is very happy that she kept her bed dry. I don't guilt her about wetting the bed, but just remind her that if she drinks late in the eve - especially right at bed time, she needs to wake up to pee. This works 95%, the other 5% of bed wetting when she doesn't wake to pee on a late driking day.

My "less-sleeper" normally asked by herself to go pee as needed.

 

I would put him back in pullups. It honestly could be years until he is dry at night. Out of my 3 kids, two were totally dry around their third birthday, and the third is only now achieving dryness after age 7. It's so individual.

 

I just wanted to update:

We tried waking him up when we went to bed but he would still be wet in the mornings. Talking to him about his body not being ready did not help to persuade him that pull-ups might be a better solution for now, but then he woke up 3 times one night because he was wet and he was so fed up that he suggested going back to pull-ups of his own accord and is happy with that for now.

 

I think that's good. My 5 year old DS is now sleeping at night without pull ups and staying dry, and he's so happy with himself. I wouldn't make it his choice to stop with pull ups but tell him that when he wakes up dry for 5 days (or whatever you think is appropriate), he can stop.