Non Potty Trainable Twins

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by mrsjo, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. mrsjo

    mrsjo Well-Known Member

    My boys will be four in Aug and have absolutely no interest in potting! We have tried everything, bribing, praise, discipline. I am exasperated!

    My older son potty trained very well, after a few months of blood, sweat and tears. By the time he was 2.5 we were gold.
    I have been out of the loop for a while~I wonder why? :p
    Is anyone else having this problem?
     
  2. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    Unless they are in a daycare situation or heading into a preschool where they HAVE to be out of diapers, I would totally drop the issue for a month or two. Just put them back in diapers and don't even mention the potty to them. Once they have distanced themselves from the concept all together, pick one of the boys (whoever you think will be more cooperative) and start in big boy underware with a ring on the potty. Reward for sitting on the potty (for 3 minutes unless they pee) by letting them throw some tp in the potty and flushing. Let him know once he actually pees on the potty he can have a special treat. After he pees all day or maybe a couple of days in a row, make him poop on the potty for his candy (unless he doesn't have problems with this). Maybe get him a new toy and let him know he can have it only after he uses the big boy potty for a whole month and then cross the days off. Hopefully after a month he won't want to regress. At the beginning you really need to put him on the potty every 15-20 minutes (this was the hardest part with me). Hopefully after a week or two of seeing the one son getting rewards, your other one will want to start up. I am half way through this part, and have one training and one in waiting.
     
  3. whosermomma

    whosermomma Well-Known Member

    Well my babes turn 3 next month, and they aren't even close to being potty trained!!! So, I'm just giving it more time.

    My third son was the same way and I had to put him in daycare where he had to be potty trained. So the Administrator told me to just put him in underwear and bring him.

    Pull ups are a HUGE waste of money!!!! They absorb like a diaper!

    After being in underwear during the day for about a month or two, he was potty trained! He HATED the feeling, and I hated cleaning the mess, but it was worth it!
     
  4. MJXplus2

    MJXplus2 Well-Known Member

    My oldest was a nightmare to potty train. Nothing worked. We tried everything with no success at all. He was obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and even the bribe of a new train every time he went potty and a Roundhouse when he had no accidents for a week did not work. I hated hearing the advice of people with easy kids to potty train because they had no clue what was going on in our house. I finally decided when he was a few months shy of 4 and still as untrainable as ever, that this child would never self- train, never show interest, and never be easy to train, and if he did it would be on a timetable way later than I'm comfortable with. Maybe when he was 8 he'd be ready, but we weren't waiting.

    So, I feel your pain. I've so been there, and thankfully I only had one to deal with then. The only thing that worked was to take the pull ups and diapers away and let it become his problem. We had a pile of clothes in the bathroom for him to change himself. If we caught him in soiled clothes (and he didn't really care if his clothes were messy), he'd get in trouble. Not in trouble for going in his clothes, but for not cleaning himself up or getting help if he needed it. We'd help him clean up messes if needed, but mostly he could do it himself. If we went out, he'd still wear his underwear and he'd have to hold it or deal with the consequences or go potty. Even as hardcore as that, it took him about 3 months!! And those first 2 months were almost constant accidents because he did not care. He had no physical problems and he was not using it to be defiant or in control. He simply did not care about underwear, did not care if he wore diapers, and did not care if his clothes were a mess. He wanted to please us, but he would just forget all about the potty. Eventually, he just got better and it is all like a bad dream.

    It was so hard. Trying to force him onto the potty according to the timer would turn into a wrestling match, so we quit. His behavior became awful because he was mad that we wouldn't just shut up and leave him alone. He wanted the bribes but he didn't want to sit on the potty, so having bribes in sight just made him angry.

    Recently, he told me he decided to work on it because once he entered preschool, a new friend started calling him a baby for not going on the potty. Peer pressure, I guess was the trick.

    Good luck! There's really nothing wrong with my son now, and he's a happy healthy 5 year old with no accidents in almost a year. I think some kids are just unimagineably hard to potty train and it's not your fault and probably nothing you could have done in the past would have made it better now.
     
  5. mrsjo

    mrsjo Well-Known Member

    Thanks, we have tried underwear and consequences of being dirty~neither one of them cares about being dirty. UGH! :blink: I have not thought about making them help with cleaning themselves up~that may work. We also tried rewards(toys, candy, money)~don't care. They are already in day care and we are all freaking out. Maybe we should just calm down, but that is easier said than done. We met with teachers this week to talk about preschool and the entire time I am thinking~they are not going to be accepted into this preschool in the fall if they don't START GOING ON THE POTTY>>>> Calm and breathe.

    Pedi says there is no problem physically~just "lazy about training" she called it. She did not seem concerned but she does not buy our pull ups or clean the ukkk.

    thanks for you guys advice and it is good to know that we are not insane failures of the potty training realm.
     
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