Oh the rage!

One of my boys (who I would classify as being "spirited") is having a really rough go around these days
Everything is a melt down, everything is a struggle, everything is a battle!!! And his response of choice is angrily hitting the floor, kicking the door, punching the air, throwing things...ect.
I'm at my wits end! Time outs have become a struggle ending in a spanking everytime! Is this rage normal 5 year old behavior?
He's learning to read, sound out words to write and of course us talking them up being super big boys turning 5 in a few weeks so we chalk some of it up to "brain explosion syndrome" but I'm *this* close to calling a behavior therapist!!!!!. Help!!!!??? Thanks!

 

Do choices work for him? I have one who seems more defiant but the more choices I give him, the quicker his anger is diffused.

 

When Alice has days like that, I've been reevaluating her diet and cutting all of the junk out of it. Just meat, cheese, fruits and veggies for a few days to reboot her system. It seems to work for us. For us, it's a combination of too much sugar, not enough exercise, not enough sleep.

 

I can't speak to normal but Danika's like that when she's tired or hungry. We just had another go round this morning on the school grounds (oh the public humiliation! ). I usually just find a safe space for her and let her have it out while staying near by. If she does something truly dangerous or hurtful, I'll set a boundary but otherwise anything goes to release the energy - kicking things that can't be hurt/damaged, throwing things as long as it's not AT anyone or anything that can break, punching pillows, yelling, whatever. When she's ready for it, I offer comfort, validation and acknowledgement. Later on, sometimes that day or sometimes the next, when we're having a connected moment we may discuss what happened and brainstorm options/solutions if it happens again. That's on a "good" day. On a "bad" day I just yell back and threaten.

 

Yes he has plenty of options/choices. I may have to try the diet reset thing!!! Yes Rachel....sounds pretty similar. I guess I just don't know what triggered this anger all of a sudden? I mean he's always thrown fits and such but not so mean and angry about it!!!

 

I just heard a focus on the family podcast about "parenting your powerful child". Really interesting; basically talking about how to set limits and consequences that work and make sense. Yes, it is from a Christian perspective, just so you are aware.

 

Just today, I was just talking to my SIL about melt downs.  Her 7 year old, DD, has not been diagnosed with ADHD but struggles daily with 'melt downs'  (at least once a day and often more than once.)  They have been always been careful about food (i wish i ate so well).  She mentioned salicylates and that she thought they would do a food trial after the holidays.
 
I have never heard of salicylates but apparently they are found in food additives (dyes) and also found naturally in many foods (fruits).  They eat a lot of fruit.  Until then she is going to do a food log and see if she can see a connection.
 
Any hoo.  I googled it and found this article.  Interesting.

 

Zoe was a very difficult child from 3-7.  I mean it was honestly misserable with the rage.  She just had to grow out of it.  We even went to a therapist and they suggested when she got like that to sit behind her on the floor and to craddle her so she could not hurt herself or others.  It did help her calm down.  Also we got her a stress ball to squeeze when she would get angry.

 

"Spirited" Hahaha. Good way to describe it in a "nice" way.
 
I think it's normal. At least, it's normal for us over here.
 
Some little boys just have extra testosterone? And it gets their little bodies all fired up? I don't know.
 
I have no solution. Just want to commiserate with you, and let you know I've been there, and will continue to be there.

 

Thanks. Extra testosterone is a good way of explaining his outburst. He's usually pretty good for other but i got a text from preschool teacher today that he kinda freaked on her for time out....and he's not usually like that, think it surprised her! We got a new chore chart so hoping that will help!!

 

Is he maybe reacting to something? Taking us anger out at home? Maybe he is getting bullied? I see this quite often. Especially when I grew up being bullied myself. Just a thought...

 

Is he maybe reacting to something? Taking us anger out at home? Maybe he is getting bullied? I see this quite often. Especially when I grew up being bullied myself. Just a thought...