One still needs a nap every day, the other doesn't

My kids have always been big sleepers, but we've come to the point (they'll be 4 in July) that Jake no longer needs a nap every single day. On the days he doesn't nap, he'll usually lay quietly for the first 20 minutes or so, and then he'll talk/sing. On the days he does nap, he'll crash out right away and sleep for three solid hours if I let him.

Ben, on the other hand, will pretty much sleep a solid 2.5 or more hours every day unless Jake's blabbering really winds him up and he stays awake the whole day. The days they both skip a nap are rare, though.

So my question is what do I do with Jake on his days he doesn't need a nap? I hate that he's in there in the dark talking and singing (and bothering Ben) for two hours while I let Ben get the sleep he needs. I definitely want to preserve "my" time alone and feel he needs to have his own quiet time, but I'm not sure how to do it. Do I wait and see if he's going to sleep or not, and if not, remove him and put him in a different room to read books and play quietly (I'm worried this might reward him for not falling asleep, but he honestly can't help it)? Do I make him stay in his bed like I've been doing? What's an appropriate amount of alone quiet time-- 1.5/2hrs?

Later this fall it will be less of an issue as they'll be going to a preschool that has an afternoon "rest" time for nearly an hour, so I imagine the nap will be pretty much gone for them by then... but for the meantime, I feel stuck in limbo.

 

Does Jake nap most days or most days not? Does he usually wake up Ben (more days than not) or is it only occassional? If he is interrupting Ben's sleep more than 1 or 2 days a week I would put him in a seperate room for quiet time. My almost 5 yr old still does a quiet time. She has to stay in her room for an hour. The light is off but it is still relatively light in there from the window. She has a music tape she has to listen to and when it is over she can come out. She plays with her dollhouse or looks at books mostly.

 

I have the same problem. My boys turned 4 in Feb. Connor is a BEAR if he does not get a proper nap or rest time. Sean never needs one unless we have been out or super up early. Today they are napping together, but usually I leave sean out and let him lay down and watch TV in my bed (To get him some quiet time).

its a hard age....and it can get confusing and kind of annoying...lol.

If I KNOW they both wont nap I do quiet time for 2 hours. They can bring 1 toy and books. No crying until I come get you. Potty in the room, no juice or milk. HTH!

 

QUOTE(ThreeLittleSnowflakes @ May 18 2009, 08:12 PM) [snapback]1318506[/snapback]
Does Jake nap most days or most days not? Does he usually wake up Ben (more days than not) or is it only occassional? If he is interrupting Ben's sleep more than 1 or 2 days a week I would put him in a seperate room for quiet time. My almost 5 yr old still does a quiet time. She has to stay in her room for an hour. The light is off but it is still relatively light in there from the window. She has a music tape she has to listen to and when it is over she can come out. She plays with her dollhouse or looks at books mostly.


I'd say Jake naps about every third day, but some weeks it's every other day. I put them down at 1:30pm, and I can tell by 2pm whether or not he's going to sleep. I will take him out of there by about 3pm if he's being really loud. I usually let Ben sleep until about 3:30pm, but sometimes get him up earlier. Some days Jake will wake Ben up early (like 2:45/3pm, way before he's rested enough), some days Ben can sleep through it. It's just different every day, which is why I don't know what to do.

Also, I keep their room pretty dark, so Jake can't really sit there and read or play, and I think he'd be too loud, anyway.

 

I see nothing wrong with letting the non-sleeper rest or have quiet time while the other sleeps. Even now at age 6, 8, and 8 I will still have "bunk time" where they stay in their rooms and read in bed/rest. I think kids need some down time as part of their day. When my twins started sleeping on different cycles, I started separating them at nap/rest time so the sleeper could get a good rest and my talker could talk, sing and rest int he other room.

 

I would put him in another room. We've just started letting Amy not nap, but Sarah still wants to. (I actually don't think she needs a nap any more than Amy does, but she seems to like it.) They share a room and we don't have an extra bedroom, so I've been letting Amy play in the living room. She has been doing pretty well at playing semi-quietly by herself and not bugging me quite as much as she normally would, though it certainly isn't anything like the "me" time I had when they were both asleep. If I had another bedroom, I would certainly have her spend quiet time in there.

 

I would also put him in another room if you are able to. I recently had to give up Emilie's naps because she was not falling asleep at night until 10pm or later. So now she has "quiet time" on the couch downstairs. Trevor, on the other hand, still naps for at least 2 hours each day.

 

Same boat...we were just discussing in the 'intentionally giving up naps' thread how twin parents can often be forced into dropping them sooner because of multiples disrupting one another.

I have one who is definitely ready to give them up, but will still nap if he's put down late enough, though the cost is a 10.30pm bedtime. :crazy:

It can't hurt to try different rooms if you have the space/option. You can always move forward and stop one while still holding on to the other if it doesn't work.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

I am so right there too. Cole would probably still nap twice a day if I needed him to. Chloe has always been my non-sleeper. She is just fine skipping nap, but I ALWAYS give her the option. I put them both down at the same time and 9 times out of 10 she will sleep. If she doesn't, she plays quietly on her bed allowing Cole to sleep. I will usually bring her down to the office with me after an hour or so for a little more quiet time. I think that they need to quite time, even if they do not sleep (translation: I need them to go in the other room for everyones' sanity).