planning a big move

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by tdhillon, Apr 14, 2012.

  1. tdhillon

    tdhillon Well-Known Member

    Hi all,
    First of all I haven't been on TS for a while. Life has been a roller coaster and I still can't get off the ride. Emotionally, it has been a hard year and half that I have been absent from here, but hoping things will get better, because I have a great opportunity to head back to my home state, California. My DH was admitted to an MBA program there and we have pretty much come to the conclusion that it will be better to be there than having to fly from NC every other week. He will be closer to his program and I will be closer to lots of family that can help me out, since I have no one here. I have been waiting for a chance to go back forever and now that it is here, i have no idea why i have such mixed feelings about it. Is it the daunting task of packing and trying to move by the end of the month, my jealous MIL who would hate the fact i will be so close to my mom (physically), or the thought of uprooting my LOs? I think all three things play a role in how I am feeling, but I was hoping if you ladies could provide me with your experiences, if you have done such a move. I know my LOs are young (2 1/2) and they are probably more adjustable to change than I give them credit for, but I am also scared that I don't want to make a wrong decision of going or somehow screwing them up. Sorry but there are times I just get flooded with parenting insecurities and now I am just full of them, mainly because I had my MIL visiting us for a while and in her eyes there is always something I could be doing better, always. I think and hope that once i am there it will be better, but just need some encouragement from all you wonderful moms. i am scared and worried and all I want is to focus, do what needs to be done and look forward to something that i have always wanted. I have no idea why I make things more complicated than they are in my head, i really need to stop doing that.
    Thanks for your time.
    1 person likes this.
  2. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    We just moved 4 weeks ago from Maryland to Florida. In MD we were close to both our families. I was excited for the move because I just wanted to get out of the area for awhile, but it is incredibly stressful. The packing, the drive with the kids & pets, unpacking.. just thinking about the stress is stressful!! :lol: I told my husband in the beginning that I was not packing, that we were going to let movers do it. I stressed over having to drive with the kids and pets so much. But now that we are here and mostly unpacked, it's been great. The kids adjusted super easy, they were excited about going to a new school. They did pretty well on the drive down. Honestly I don't know if going with the moving company was less or more stress than just doing it all ourselves, but it was certainly a time saver. Once it's over, you'll be glad you did it! We always make it worse in our heads.
  3. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Right before my two turned 2, we moved from FL to VA. We left behind both of our families and it's been hard, so I'm totally jealous that you're going where your family is! As for your MIL, well, don't worry about what she thinks. She's just one person, if you don't piss someone off in life, well, you just haven't lived it well. In other words, you can't please everyone and you have to do what is right for you, your husband, and your children.
    2 people like this.
  4. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    They'll do fine. I really wouldn't worry about the kids. We moved three times in 2 years, and even though the last two times were in the same area, it was really no problem at all with the kids (they were close to 2.5 when we moved the third time). Really, very adaptable at this age.

    I'd be more worried about the logistics. We moved 2 hours away, and it sucked, I can imagine that moving from NC to CA must be even more stressful.
  5. tdhillon

    tdhillon Well-Known Member

    Thanks ladies! I think I just needed to hear that it has been done and the kids will survive.

    Becasquared: I loved what you said - "if you don't piss someone off in life, well, you just haven't lived it well." So well put, I am gonna hold on to this one. I don't know why my MIL can be so intimidating, but she is. I just need to keep the focus on my kids because now I am really not going to have time for foolish games.

    Been staying up late every night and have started the packing, but Fran27, you are right, the move itself the probably the most stressful aspect of this decision. I just hope I can get it done by the end of the month.

    Thank you again, everyone knows how to make you feel like you can survive anything on here and it is a life saver!
  6. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    My girls were 2 when we moved from Ga to Mo My girls have done awesome and don't even remember living in Ga. I think it is great that you are moving closer to family, we moved away from family and it has been hard - Easton has not even met any of my family - he is 8 months old. Moving is tough but it will be worth it once you get there and settled in!
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