Please someone tell me I am overreacting....

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by helpme, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I am just reading this now. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Did you get a chance to call the pedi today? :hug99: My thoughts are with you.
     
  2. Marieber

    Marieber Well-Known Member

    Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. You know you have no choice, but how horrible to be faced with this possibility! I just want to send a :hug99: I hope it turns out that it's nothing. I hope that so much for you and your little girl and your DH.

    Please let us know how it goes at the doctor's office.
     
  3. hanknbeans

    hanknbeans Well-Known Member

    I am wondering too how you are. Please update us when you get a chance.
     
  4. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    It's totally normal for young children to play with themselves (it may seem "inappropriate" to us, but to them it just feels good). It's also pretty common, from what I've heard, for little girls to try to stick things in themselves. It's disturbing, but as one of my friends said, "The normal reaction of a toddler to a hole is to try to put something in it." I know that sounds really crass, and I don't mean to minimize it at all, but FWIW, if one of my girls did something like this, I would not freak out. I totally trust my husband and I can't imagine suspecting him of abuse because of something like this.

    Hugs to you, I hope the ped is able to reassure you. :hug99:
     
  5. walker006

    walker006 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Jan 28 2008, 03:54 PM) [snapback]593044[/snapback]
    I will say that I wouldn' t mention any suspicion of your DH to the pedi. They are obligated to report anything and everything. Even if it turns out to be nothing, the dr. would still have to report your suspicions and it could ruin your marriage and the life of an innocent man.
    I would tell the pedi about what your daughter was doing with the toy and that you asked her to point on a doll, but not mention the part about your DH. Some people may disagree, but I think that that part can come later if you find out something really has been going on.


    I completely agree with you. Once someone is arrested for anything(misdemenor or felony) of any nature whether it be for sexual crime or just a traffic offense such as drag racing. They will be booked and processed. Which means prints and a mug shot. This will always be with them from then on. Even if they are not convicted of the crime.They have still been arrested for the crime. So if its a sexual crime this will haunt that person for the rest of their life. Some states you can get arrests and even convictions expunged after so many years. However this is only to the public eye. Even expunged items are still there for federal to see such as FBI and Homeland security.

    I get this information from my father in law who has been a police officer for the last 20 years.And is now in homeland security.
    I pray it turns out to be nothing. For your dd and your family. :hug99:
     
  6. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    I'm just reading this for the first time.

    I am so sorry!!!!

    Have you taken her to the doc? Any updates??
     
  7. runnergirl

    runnergirl Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  8. helpme

    helpme Member

    Here is the update, she is fine! I just could not ever believe my DH could have done that, he is such a fabulous daddy and husband! The doctor said there is absolutely nothing wrong with her, and no signs of abuse. He thinks she was just exploring, and like PP said I thought it was inappropriate. I also spoke with a counselor who immediately asked if my DD had ever seen me put in a tampon because she may have been imitating me, which would explain why she did the same thing to the doll! As for her answering daddy, the counselor pointed out close she is to him and how he is gone a lot, so she misses him and is happiest when he is home so she probably said his name because of all the people I named he is her favorite. Does that makes sense? So my family is fine and I just completely overreacted! I was abused as a child and am extremely paranoid. I did send my DH an email and he immediately called and voiced his concern. I couldn't get her to the doctor fast enough for him, he was completely freaked out also!
    Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it!
     
  9. seamusnicholas

    seamusnicholas Well-Known Member

    I am so glad everything is ok! :hug99:
     
  10. twindependent

    twindependent Well-Known Member

    I am SO happy that you had the pedi check her out.

    If I were you I would probably still watch her closely for other signs, but I'm sure as you said you are already very aware and would notice anything out of the ordinary.

    And don't beat yourself up about considering DH for even a moment! You were protecting your child and doing the best you can do.

    :hug99:
     
  11. twoin2005

    twoin2005 Well-Known Member

    I am just so happy to read this.

    I wanted to post my thoughts on this earlier, but I felt like the lone dissenter and that I was totally off base. I was never abused as a child, and my gut reaction when reading this was 1) she was exploring, and 2) she named her daddy because she likes him. My kids tell tall tales all day long, so it did not seem unreasonable to me that your daughter would have answered the way she did.

    I am glad that things are okay. Never doubt yourself; it is better to be safe than sorry. You handled it perfectly. Good job, momma!
     
  12. veggiehead

    veggiehead Well-Known Member

    I just read this and I am sorry that you are going through this...the other posters gave you great advice. I am thinking of you and you little one! :love0028:
     
  13. K*D*B

    K*D*B Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    I am just so happy to read this.

    I wanted to post my thoughts on this earlier, but I felt like the lone dissenter and that I was totally off base. I was never abused as a child, and my gut reaction when reading this was 1) she was exploring, and 2) she named her daddy because she likes him. My kids tell tall tales all day long, so it did not seem unreasonable to me that your daughter would have answered the way she did.

    I am glad that things are okay. Never doubt yourself; it is better to be safe than sorry. You handled it perfectly. Good job, momma!




    Could of wrote this post. I am happy everything turned out OK.

    Cari
     
  14. dfaut

    dfaut 30,000-Post Club

    QUOTE(helpme @ Jan 28 2008, 03:45 PM) [snapback]593941[/snapback]
    Here is the update, she is fine! I just could not ever believe my DH could have done that, he is such a fabulous daddy and husband! The doctor said there is absolutely nothing wrong with her, and no signs of abuse. He thinks she was just exploring, and like PP said I thought it was inappropriate. I also spoke with a counselor who immediately asked if my DD had ever seen me put in a tampon because she may have been imitating me, which would explain why she did the same thing to the doll! As for her answering daddy, the counselor pointed out close she is to him and how he is gone a lot, so she misses him and is happiest when he is home so she probably said his name because of all the people I named he is her favorite. Does that makes sense? So my family is fine and I just completely overreacted! I was abused as a child and am extremely paranoid. I did send my DH an email and he immediately called and voiced his concern. I couldn't get her to the doctor fast enough for him, he was completely freaked out also!
    Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it!

    PHEW!!!! Thank goodness you got to the root of the matter!! :hug99: I'm sorry you had the scare to begin with!!!
     
  15. bridgeport

    bridgeport Well-Known Member

    Yay!!!!! You did the right thing....so much better to have confirmation from the doctor than to always have that question in the back of your mind. Like I said before, you're a great mommy. :)
     
  16. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    I am so glad everything is alright. I agree that it was better safe than sorry, but I am so glad that it turned out to be "nothing." I can't imagine the relief you must feel.
     
  17. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Jan 28 2008, 06:05 PM) [snapback]593968[/snapback]
    Never doubt yourself; it is better to be safe than sorry. You handled it perfectly. Good job, momma!

    I was thinking the same thing.

    I am so happy to hear that it all turned out okay. :hug99:
     
  18. Juj

    Juj Well-Known Member

    Whew! So happy to hear the news!
     
  19. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Jan 28 2008, 06:05 PM) [snapback]593968[/snapback]
    Never doubt yourself; it is better to be safe than sorry. You handled it perfectly. Good job, momma!


    I agree, you are a GREAT mom. :hug99:
     
  20. Trish_e

    Trish_e Well-Known Member

    :hug99: I'm so glad it turned out to be nothing!
     
  21. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you went and had it checked out! :hug99: What a difficult few days you must have had! I'm glad everything is ok!! :hug99:
     
  22. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Oh, I am so relieved and happy to hear this!
     
  23. hanknbeans

    hanknbeans Well-Known Member

    You did a great job handling this! Congrats on the good news!
     
  24. betseeee

    betseeee Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad everything is OK. I thought it would be from your OP, but obviously how could one know without checking it out?

    The tampon thing is interesting - my husband pointed out to me that I might want to not let them watch me put tampons in just in case they get the idea that putting stuff in there is a good idea. I think I'm going to take his advice to heart, for a change. ;)
     
  25. SweetpeaG

    SweetpeaG Well-Known Member

    Thanks for updating us. Glad everything is a-ok.
     
  26. Marieber

    Marieber Well-Known Member

    I am sooooo happy to read this! Thank god!
     
  27. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    I'm so happy to see the update. I didn't post at first because I didn't know what to say but my thoughts were that if he's innocent, he'd be just as concerned about whether something happened to her. And no, you didn't overreact. You did exactly what you should do by bringing her to the doctor to be checked out. Yes, a child her age can be easily misunderstood but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take notice when she says or does something that seems out of character.
     
  28. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    oh SO relieved to read the update!!
    Kudos for you for going to bat for your baby! Take a long hot bath. . . I feel like I need to now!
     
  29. ~Laura M~

    ~Laura M~ Well-Known Member

    Whew! Glad everything is okay sweetie. You did the right thing by having her checked out. :hug99:
     
  30. JDMummy

    JDMummy Well-Known Member

    Awesome job Mom! You really handled that well and with such class. :hug99: I am so glad things worked out and I just knew in my heart of hearts he did not do anything. Something was just telling me that THIS GUY is just not the one to do that sort of thing. I am so glad.
     
  31. nikki_0724

    nikki_0724 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the update!! I am so happy to hear that everything went well.

    great job Mommy!!!!
     
  32. Cindy123

    Cindy123 Well-Known Member

    I am so glad everything turned out okay! :D
     
  33. Lilpark

    Lilpark Well-Known Member

    I have no advice but I just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you. You are a great mommy to even notice something out of the norm.
     
  34. Moms2NTwins

    Moms2NTwins Well-Known Member

    so glad everything is ok what a relief. :love0028:
     
  35. Lilpark

    Lilpark Well-Known Member

    I just read the update.....what a relief.
     
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