Post-partum anger?

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by MrsWright, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm not depressed but about 7-8wks since having Hannah I have just felt angry. Not everyday...its like I get in these slumps and just everything makes me mad! I hate it bc I get short with the boys and last night I slept on the couch bc I got ticked at DH for not helping put new sheets on the bed bc I forgot until bedtime to do it. He wanted to just sleep on the mattress cover and cover up with the comforter and put them on tonight! So I slept on the couch <_<
    Any ideas? I was wondering if this is when I would normally PMS and since I'm bfing I'm just not getting the AF that comes with it? I know I had a friend who went through this too but she was super stressed with a non-helping DH and a full time job! I'm not back to work yet and my DH is really helpful (just not at bedtime apparently) but I would say it could just be stress from having 3 kids under 2 as well.
    Anyways...anyone have anything similar? If nothing else at least I got it off my chest:)
     
  2. HorseyLover

    HorseyLover Well-Known Member

    Oh, absolutely!! I had on and off anger for a while. I think i just felt so out of control - we had no real schedule and we needed help so we had a lot of family coming in and out of our house. My DH and I started to joke around about it to let off steam. We would say things like "I'm going to flush the babies down the toilet!" We obviously were not serious, but it lightened things us. Maybe you can say something to your DH when he does something like that ... "That's it - you are out of the house! Didn't make the bed?... you're fired!" Hope that helps.
     
  3. Gigantor

    Gigantor Well-Known Member

    We all go through some sort of cathartic emotion after giving birth. You must be exhausted, underappreciated, overworked. You put yourself to the bottom of the list running after everyone else, but you need a break too. Someone to step in and realize, you need to take a nap, having lunch made, have the house cleaned, attended the baby at night, whatever.
    I think it's absolutely normal what you're going through. Hang in there. It'll get better. Once things are on a schedule, running smoothly on the every day basis, and you can count down to the minute when you get some time for yourself.
     
  4. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    oh yeah - i totally had irrational anger after the girls were born! DH & i never had potty mouthed, knock down, yelling fights until after the girls were born. at the time, it all felt so justified, but looking back, i think i was just completely off my rocker due to hormones going crazy, sleep deprivation, and not having a clue what i was doing. :pardon:

    :hug: i agree that joking as much as you can will help. GL!
     
  5. lisagayle

    lisagayle Well-Known Member

    Me, too, most definitely! I still experience it occasionally but not nearly as often as I did when the twins were first born. It mostly happens when I'm super tired and things aren't going smoothly around the house.
     
  6. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Oh yeah-I go through this as well. Except my crew is 34 months and 15 months!
     
  7. bbyboo1323

    bbyboo1323 Well-Known Member

    I had this same problem. I still do sometimes. I think its because we have a lot on us that we dont realize and DH can really push my buttons. Its like hes doing it on purpose but I know hes not. But OMG seriously, I have to draw him a picture of what I want. If theres dirty dishes, dammit wash them! I just dont get it. My fuse never got longer after the babies came, if anything its shorter! Hang in there, Lexapro helped me alot!
     
  8. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    For sure! I think it's just getting so worn out.. the edge is a little closer than normal, so it's pretty easy to get pushed over it.
     
  9. jromkey

    jromkey Well-Known Member

    I was there too - the sleep deprivation definitely contributes to the frayed nerves and short temper. And of course having twins and a newborn is definitely taxing to say the least!
     
  10. tracilynn

    tracilynn Well-Known Member

    Yes very angry here too. Im still not sure if
    Its hormones or the fact that my dh is no help at all and
    Most of the time just consider him my 5th child! Dip chit!
     
  11. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    more than 2 yrs ago is hard for me to remember... BUT I know that even now what you're talking about happens to me with PMS! ugh! good luck to you!
     
  12. Deyra Mavrides

    Deyra Mavrides Well-Known Member

    I totally understand this thread!
    Oh my - Don't I

    with our twins - our DD has a heart defect - so the first few weeks in NICU were a roller coaster of insane emotion. That on top of the post pardum emotions, i found that my DH was my anger outlet. I found that all my stress would come out at my Oldest daughter (who is 12 this month), my father who was staying with us (at which time i discovered he managed to drink himself into a bottle over the past year or so) --- or my DH.
    I had the 3 of them sit me down on boxing day when the babes were 4 weeks old, and tell me what a wreck i was for being so demanding or upset, or for being bossy - having outbursts etc etc etc. I knew from that day on that none of them would ever understand the stress that comes with twins - except other moms.

    I still get angry - although my older daughter has now seen whats going on, and she has stepped in to be a tremendous help for me around the house, and with moving etc the past few weeks.

    ......and then in the moments of silence when they are sleeping, i go check up on the twins, pour myself a glass of wine, and realize that it takes a pretty damn strong woman to do what we do:) I smile when its hardest --- And the anger turns to gratitude
     
  13. chellebelle

    chellebelle Well-Known Member

    Absolutely! For me it has been a combination of PPD and stress and hormones. My twins and toddler are 15.5 months apart so I know what having 3 under 2 is like. :hug:



    ABSOLUTELY AGREE with this!
     
  14. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    I totally understand how everyone feels. I find myself feeling VERY angry and edgy when I don't get much sleep. But, our LO's are adopted, so it is not post-partum, at least in my case. I think it's just plain being tired and overwhelmed because twins are a lot of work. Not to mention trying to get our adoption finalized, which is lots of paperwork and lots of steps.
     
  15. 2xjoy

    2xjoy Well-Known Member

    So true!

    Still get the angries here too!

    A change in their routine or a dropped bib being walked over for the millionth time, seeing a 'single' mum 'dash' into the shop with her bub, not having time to spend with my 2 other kids, dh saying how tired he is when I'm the one who does babies all night! Grrrrrrrrr :aggressive:
     
  16. fmcquinn

    fmcquinn Well-Known Member

    As everyone has said: been there, done that (just about an hour ago in fact). I think it's hormones, that overwhelming feeling of being a parent, and that baffling feeling of why your DH isn't in the same boat at all! Why does he think when he's having a bad day he can just forget about all responsibilities, but when you're having a rough time, you still have to do everything for your children AND him. Sorry...I think I just needed to blow off a little steam. :aggressive:
     
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