Potty training outside of the house?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Fran27, May 3, 2012.

  1. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    DD is 95% potty trained at home... I think she still gets wet occasionally, although I can't tell if she's really wet or if she's saying that she is so she can put new panties on. I'm just not sure how to do when we go out. I haven't dared trying yet... I just use diapers. She's so used to just not worrying about it and going in her diapers, I'm just convinced that she will pee in her underwear. I tried pull ups at school but it made no difference, she just used them as diapers (even though I told her to ask the teacher to use the potty).

    How did you handle it? I asked a couple weeks ago I think... I forgot, lol. Last week end we went out quite a bit and they changed to underwear when we got home and she pooped in it... which she hadn't done in 3 weeks. So I really need to figure it out... I'm so sick of being stuck at home. I really don't mind the diapers when we go out, but I don't want her to regress because of it... I have a portable potty, just not sure I want her to use it in the van if there are people around. She's never used a public toilet either... so far she just uses her little potty (which really sucks, so sick of having to clean them!). I'm going to try and send her to school in underwear next week to see how it goes though... probably with one of those plastic diaper covers on top!

    DS is another problem. He pees fine in the potty, but he poops in his underwear every time. The worst part is that he takes it off right away then drags poop all over the house (I had to throw away their little couch because it was covered in poop). I put him back in diapers yesterday because I couldn't take it anymore (4 weeks of poopy underwears), he pooped in it, took it off, then put underwear back on... putting poop all over. :headbang: I'm at a loss. I put him back in diapers again now... who knows how long he will keep it on. What should I do??? He pees fine on the potty (most of the time) so I don't want him to regress with peeing but I'm just so sick of cleaning poop.

    I feel like such a failure. I waited so long because I thought it would be easy... yeah right. I really need them potty trained in September, at this rate I don't even know if it's going to happen.
  2. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Honestly? Ditch the diapers. :shrug:

    We did the 3 day plan when they were 34 months old. By day three, we were leaving the house. Before we left the house, they went to the bathroom. When we got to our destination, they peed in the toilet in the car. I have the one that can double as a seat on top of a toilet, or it can be a stand alone toilet with a bag. I highly recommend it!

    We would do our errands, shop, whatever(I also had a one year old by this point). We would get back in the van, and they would pee again. The toilet I have in the van, went with me everywhere. When they were first learning, I took it in with me and they sat on that, on top of the toilet in the restroom. Best thing ever. And if im on the highway and I'm solo, I have that as a backup.

    Seriously though. I would ditch the diapers. Do it on a weekend, say this weekend, when she doesn't have school. And, when she goes to school Monday just inform them you are now diaper less. She will get it. Give her the chance. :)
  3. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Oh, and you're not a failure. My daughter, who is 35 months...isn't potty trained. And I tried twice before. She's just not ready. And they say girls are easier. Ya right! Lol! Not this child!
  4. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I would also ditch the diapers. I know it's oh so hard to do though!! :hug: We go pee before we leave the house, we go pee when we get to where we're going (unless it's just a 5 minute drive), and if we are shopping for longer than an hour, I make them pee again before we leave the store. I also limit their liquid while we are out so they don't have to go quite so bad. I have better luck with Liam when we are out and about than I do at home. At home, he's so busy playing that he forgets about peeing, until he starts peeing. Then, he runs to the bathroom and finishes on the toilet, but he almost always wets his undies unless I make him go more often.

    I would also suggest getting them used to going on a regular potty. You can buy the potty seats that fit on a standard toilet seat. Or, what we did with our second child, was buy the a standard toilet seat with a smaller potty seat on it too. It goes up and down like the lid does. So the kids can use the smaller seat, then we put it up like the lid when we need to go. The kids love it, and refuse to use the little potties anymore (which makes clean up a breeze now!). We just weaned our 5yr old daughter off of using it this winter! ;)

    Potty training royally sucks. But, I wonder if the back and forth of undies/diapers/pullups is confusing your kiddo's. Try going cold turkey on the diapers, use undies all day whether you are at home or out and about, and see how they do. They *will* get it eventually, as they say, they won't go to college with a diaper bag on their back ;)
  5. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    The problem is I really don't want to deal with pee and poop in their car seat either, lol. It's really the main reason why I'm so reluctant to do it.

    And with DS, until he poops on the potty, it's just not happening.
  6. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    You know, it's just poop and pee. Everyone does it.

    Car seats are washable, there are pads that you can put in the car seats to keep the urine from soaking into the seat, but most seats, the fabric part comes off and is completely washable. You're really not giving her the chance to prove she can do it.

    As for your son, is there a physical or developmental reason that he won't poop on the toilet? What kind of rewards are you offering them?
    3 people like this.
  7. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    When I was training my girls I got these water proof padsthat go in their carseats. I didn't want to have to deal with taking their whole seat apart if they had an accident either. I agree with everyone else that at this point you should just bite the bullet and switch completely to undies. Maybe try a sticker chart for your DS for pooping. Also do you have him on a poop schedule? One of my girls had to go sit on the potty after every meal to try to go (because of constipation). Good luck and hang in there.
    1 person likes this.
  8. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Fran, my son had a hard time with pooping in the toilet (it also did not help that the first time he did, Sophia acted like he had a horrible disease or lost a limb) and we just had to make a huge deal about it...seriously, the way me and DH acted, it was like he was the first kid to ever poop on the toilet. I also had matchbox cars on hand as an incentive for when he would poop on the toilet & that was a huge incentive.
    I also agree with Bex's question about a physical or developmental reason as to why he won't. One of my good friends, her boy would not poop in the toilet until after he turned 5. He would be in underwear all day, accident free, get his pull up at night, poop and go ask for another one. And then just one day, he said to my friend, "Mommy, I am going to poop in the toilet now."
    And if we were going to be out for a long time, I did bring a portable potty with me in the car and both kids did use it. I just brought paper towels, wipes and a cleaner (you could use a mix of bleach & water if need be) and a plastic bag in case they had to poop while we were out.
    I would start with short trips with your DD, going places that aren't too far from home and that you won't be spending hours at and when she stays dry, I would congratulate her on it. That helped my DD.
    Good luck!
  9. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Yup, I had the protectors for the carseats as well. After one day of use I knew we didn't need it.

    I'd much rather clean pee and poop off a carseat vs vomit. True story.

    And I really think you need to give her the benefit of the doubt and give her a chance.
  10. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    I'll give her a chance, lol. I'll pass on the protectors though... always heard it's not safe to put anything between car seats and kids.

    For my son... I don't know. He has the same incentives as she does, stickers for peeing (which they don't really need anymore), more stickers for pooping, and I switched to a reward chart now, they get to put a sticker on it and when it's full we'll go to the store and they can pick a toy... which they seemed very excited about... but it hasn't made any difference so far. She has three stickers on it and he has none. The sad thing is that he did poop on the potty the first two days, and he sits on the potty a lot, he just doesn't poop on it... and he won't use diapers inside now. He just takes it off to pee on the potty. Ugh.
  11. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    If he's taking his diaper off, then he's ready to potty train. You have to remember that his body has to learn what the "feeling" is that signals he has to poop. He's just not getting it yet, but he will if you give him a chance.

    I'll be honest, I have a TON of undies for my kids. I don't like to clean up poop. If its solid and falls out of the undies easy, fine. But if not, the whole underwear go into the garbage. Less stress for me ;)
    2 people like this.
  12. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    Once I started potty training, I did not go back to diapers (except for nights) for nothing. I think my youngest was about 2 weeks into training when we took a 3 hour trip each way for a birthday party. He did great! If they are ready, ditch the diapers. If they are not staying dry, then they're not ready. I always used cotton gerber training pants and called them 'big boy pants.' I did not want them to be anything like diapers.
    Poop training can be hard. My youngest was pooped trained before he was potty trained (Yay me!) The twins were a different story, but at least they were fairly consistant with timing. Good luck!
  13. rissakaye

    rissakaye Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Potty training is just something you just have to make it through. No one enjoys the mess. It's just something you have to deal with.

    My kids were night/day different on potty-training. Sarah pt'd at 2 years 9 months. Literally, she was as easy as "you need to wear panties now and go the bathroom in the potty". We had done a little bit of sitting first thing in the morning prior to this and her using the potty in the morning so she knew what needed to be done. And she was trained. One day. No accidents. Done.

    And then there was Timothy. I did try him at the same time as Sarah and he clearly wasn't ready. In 6 months, I tried again. He had been consistently been using the potty first thing in the morning. I describe potty training him as having to be more stubborn than a 3 year old. I knew he was physically ready. And I knew that with his temperament he doesn't cooperate or do new things till he's ready. (He didn't walk till he was ready, he didn't hardly talk till he was good and ready and then went for sentences.) And I knew it was going to be a challenge when he sat and cried and told me he wanted his diapers when I told him he was going into underwear. I just told him he could have them back for bedtime. They were now night-night diapers.

    The first week Timothy literally didn't care. He wet everywhere whenever he wanted. It was the hardest thing to do, but I gave him no reaction other than "let's go clean it up". Then Timothy noticed we weren't going anywhere and he was stuck at home with me. He was used to storytime, the park and when he went to visit grandma (God bless the woman, she kept right at him with the potty-training and cleaning up the messes), that underwear just followed him. He finally got the message that the underwear was staying.

    The next week, Timothy got on board. He started trying and was pee trained within about 3-4 days. Poop trained honestly took about 3 months. It scared him and he didn't quite know what to do. It upset him when he had accidents and we just calmly cleaned up. I still remember the look on his face when he finally connected the dots and figured out what those feelings and sensations meant. After that, he was accident free.

    I know this is long, but it's all to say that poop happens. It's just part of the job. Go the bathroom before you leave the house and take extra clothes. Be consistent with the underwear. They have no incentive to train if the diapers keep reappearing. Limit your reactions. If he gets a brilliant display from mom when he smears poop everywhere, it's like it's own little reward. Just clean it up and make him help. Don't let him play while you clean. Make it more inconvenient for him to have an accident than for him to use the potty. When Timothy had trouble going on the potty, I'd make him drink while sitting on the toilet. He couldn't hold it while drinking. Try that.

    I hope some of this helps.

    7 people like this.
  14. momotwinsmom

    momotwinsmom Well-Known Member

    It's gonna happen. If not now, then the next time you try and potty train. It's not magic and won't happen overnight. You honestly just need to pull up your bootstraps and go to town. Try it. It's not like you are the only person who ever had to potty train a child and deal with accidents in public. Ever single person had to be potty trained. It's really not that hard. And if you keep rotating back and forth between diapers and underwear, the confusion will delay the training even further. You need to choose one way and stick with it. That's all. No flip flopping back and forth between the 2 methods. That won't work.

    Good luck!!
    2 people like this.
  15. mama_dragon

    mama_dragon Well-Known Member

    I agree with all of the above. Mine have both pee'd in public. I just get them changed. Not a big deal. Both times it was really my fault for not insisting they go to the bathroom after they drank a lot while we were out to eat. Accidents happen.

    As for pooping in the underwear. I would make him help clean up. Stay very calm. Do not make a huge deal out of it. Just tell him poop belongs in the potty and make him dump the poop in the potty and flush. If it is smeared everywhere then make him help scrub. Don't make it fun or exciting. I have one that will not poop in the potty. He pees just fine but he will poop on the floor, in his underwear or as soon as I put a night time diaper on. I'm really not that worried about it. He will get it. I just make him go to the bathroom to change and he has to put the poop in the toilet and flush it. I read some advice about the not pooping in the potty that you make a big deal about when they put the poop in the potty from their underwear or whatever. Oh look your poop is in the potty that is where poop goes etc. There is even a book out there thats called Everybody Poops. You might get it and read it while he sits on the potty. Poop for some kids can take longer for training. I don't yell at him or get mad. He really has sit and tried to poop on the potty. He just can't yet. I'd step of the rewards for pooping on the potty. Stickers might not do it for him. I'd offer match cars or some small prize for pooping in the potty. Have it on hand and remind him when you think he might be pooping that he only gets the prize if he goes on the potty. If you do catch him in the process of pooping move him to the bathroom. In fact I'd step up your supervision a bit and stay close to him for several days to try to catch him in the act or right before. I know exactly when my problem pooper is going. He sneaks off or gets real quiet with a toy.

    Another thing to consider is that he might be constipated. One of my boys gets miralax daily. He is the one that was super easy to potty train and has never had any issues pooping. In fact the first time he pooped in the potty he just up and announced he had to poop and went to the bathroom. He pretty much potty trained himself. But he has issues if he doesn't get a small dose of miralax. He will poop several times a day and almost not make it to the potty in time. Constipation doesn't mean he isn't going poop at all. You can poop and still be constipated. If he is constipated or even holding it until he can't anymore it might hurt to poop making him avoid the potty. You might step up his fiber and liquids.

    Good luck!! They will get it!! They won't go to high school not pooping. Sounds like your DD is very close if you just give her a chance.
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  16. 4jsinPA

    4jsinPA Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Everyone has something that motivates them. The key is to find what motivates your child and use that as their reward. My oldest son refused to poop in the potty. Peed fine...but would hide to poop in his pants. So I told him he could earn a movie by pooping in the potty. We went like 2 days with no truck movie and then one day he just pooped in the potty and was fine. He was just over 4. Going back and forth is probably one of the biggest mistakes we all do when potty training. But at this age, they can understand their body signals. It sucks, potty training isn't fun, but just one of those things you have to get past. And you can. Just be prepared. Bring a towel, extra clothes, whatever it takes that you know will make you feel more comfortable if something were to happen in public. As soon as we would get somewhere I took the kids to the potty. I remember the first time we got back and I realized that neither kid peed or pooped their pants...it was such an amazing feeling. They will have accidents, part of life. But years from now you won't remember them and neither will they.
  17. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    Ok another question... as soon as we were in the car to go to school, DD said she had to pee. So I told her to wait until we went to school and she could use the potty there... Except she got scared once we got there and refused to go.

    How do you deal with it? Tell her to suck it up? lol. At least there's only 2 weeks of school left.

    The reason I haven't 100% pushed potty training outside is because we're going away for 10 days in a month... with 9 hour plane trips, and going out to places that don't necessarily have bathrooms everywhere (mostly without car). So unless they are 100% potty trained and have no accidents in a week beforehand, we'll probably put them in pull ups either way (especially as it's overnight trips). Not too sure how we'll deal with the 'I have to pee' thing when we're in the subway.
  18. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I say you need to ditch the diapers. Be consistant and remind them often that they need to get in the bathroom and try and go.
    They might suprsise you!
    As for the poop, how often does he go? More then once a day? I'd ask him every hour or so if he needs to go and just remind him where he needs to do it.
  19. dtomecko

    dtomecko Well-Known Member

    I would probably have taken her back in the house and let her go before we left. Mainly because I don't know if I would have trusted her to be able to hold it. But if I knew she was scared of the potty at school, that would probably be another reason I'd have her go at home and then not push the issue of using the potty at school. I still make sure my kids go potty right before I send them to school. I don't think they're particulary scared of using a public potty (that's my fear!), but they're shy and I don't think they like the idea of drawing attention to themselves by asking to go.
  20. atinar

    atinar Well-Known Member

    Same here. Once I started potty training I never put diapers neither inside home nor when we go out except before they go to sleep. When we're out, I remind them every 30 minutes or so whether they want to pee or poo. Oftentimes, they don't tell me that they want to do it by themselves but still I take them to the restaurants bathroom or wherever we happen to be and they do it. Accidents happened of course but they were mostly due for me not reminding them. If they pooped in their underwear, I simply throw it away.
    This morning my both sons woke up asking to pee in the potty and their diapers were 100% dry! :yahoo: Are they be trained during night time without me teaching them? I hope so :) yet, we're still dealing with one of my DS refusing to poop in the potty, yet I feel and hope we'll get there soon...
  21. 5280babies

    5280babies Well-Known Member

    I didn't read the other responses, but I would say go cold turkey and leave the diapers at home. Better yet, be done with the pull-ups. My daughters had to see the diapers disappear altogether before being truly committed. Yes, my daughter did pee a bucket in the middle of a donut shop line of 50 people on National Doughnut Day at Krispy Kreme...lol. That sucked. And I shouldn't have been there anyway - tee hee. I keep a little travel potty in the car and when we were first going out with no diapers on I would pull into a parking lot and let them go if they needed. That newness wore off and they got the hang of it very fast. Good luck - I remember my DH and I being so nervous at first...but also so proud! Good luck. :)

    Oh, by the way, I came up with a phrase that has saved us. "Hold it in your tummy" until we get to the bathroom. That clicked with them and even now if they have to go they tell me they are holding it in their tummy until we find a potty. Of course I make finding a potty a priority when we are out. :)
  22. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    I'm postponing all this for a month, lol. They just take the diaper off at home to pee (and DD to poop) so that's just fine with me for now.

    I'm just not dealing with potty breaks for our trip in 3 weeks!
  23. SC_Amy

    SC_Amy Well-Known Member

    We did 3 Day Potty Training (Though we modified it a little to still do diapers/pull-ups for sleeping). We do underwear out of the house though. There might be accidents here and there in the beginning but when the crutch is no longer there and you figure out the pattern of how often to make sure she goes, that should help. We PTed at 37m and overall they've done well.

    With the pooping in underwear, two things helped one of my boys with that:
    * If it's really messy, the underwear gets thrown away. He lost his Thor and Spiderman underwear that way and it served as a good deterrent from doing it again!
    * If they keep their underwear clean and dry all day, they each get to choose a movie/TV episode to watch before bed (20 mins or so). There are some shows they only get to watch during that time slot (to keep it special). That seems to serve as a really good motivator for both boys. We still have accidents occasionally--usually if they're too busy playing or get shy about going at preschool or something--but they're not often and overall they're doing well.
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