report card rewards?

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by MichelleL, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    My parents used to reward us on occasion growinh up for good report cards. It was in incentive for me to try harder as I got older (I wasn't a very good student :blush: ).

    My girls just received their second one and it was excellent!! :woohoo: I know it's :db: only :db: Kindergarten but it's a big deal for me because of all my anxiety, as most of you know, about whether or not to send them. They are the youngest in their class.

    So I feel like a sign of appreciation for their hard work from us as their parents is in order. :D

    Do you reward for a good report card? What sort of things do you do/give?
  2. momotwinsmom

    momotwinsmom Well-Known Member

    We don't really reward for good, but we do ground for bad. Let me explain. If I know my child is capable for getting better grades, then she gets in trouble. If I know they worked really hard and still struggled, they will not get in trouble. Make sense? Maybe I should do opposite though. Maybe a reward for good would work better? Hmmmmm.......

    Edited to say that it doesn't happen very often, and our grading system is a 1-4 scale. It has happened where one child got a 2 (equivalent to a 70-79) on something like paying attention or not enough effort. Something I KNOW she could control and get better grades on. It's things like that, that truly annoy me.
    2 people like this.
  3. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    We give $1.00 per A. Lennon hasn't had anything less than an A yet (he's only in 1st grade, LOL), so we haven't established if there is a "reward" for B's. It isn't much, but just a small token of "Way to go! We are proud of you for working so hard!"

    I'm sure the $1.00/A won't mean as much as he gets older. We might have to reward somewhat differently at that point. :)
    1 person likes this.
  4. NINI H

    NINI H Well-Known Member

    We celebrate finishing a grade at the end of a year as a family, instead of report cards (since we homeschool). Growing up I got a $1 for A's, but I also knew that my parents would only accept A's, LOL.
    2 people like this.
  5. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    We take him out for ice cream to celebrate but we don't pay per grade. At least not right now. Until someone can tell me the difference between M and E, AND why I should want an E because and M means my kid moves on, I am not paying. Especially when E's are unachievable for certain skills. When we get to real grades, I may change our system.
    1 person likes this.
  6. KCMichigan

    KCMichigan Well-Known Member

    Ditto this.

    My DDs are only in 1st. We celebrate and do a lot of verbal acknowledgement when they do well and put forth a good effort, regardless of the 'score' (this goes for various things), but if and when they do poorly on something and did not try, write neatly, turn it in etc-- they get in trouble and/or have to practice. We also ask them how they think they are doing and what is easy/hard and if they did their best on certain assignments, really the process and learning how to learn is important at this age because it instills good work habits. Our school has a 1-4 scale for report cards, it does not seem very helpful to be honest.

    Mine are youngest too-- they have a 10/05 Bday. DH and I agonized over doing K (which DDs did not do) or going straight to 1st (which we did). It does change it a bit since some kids in their class will be 8 this spring/summer! My girls will not turn 7 until 6-8 weeks after school starts, they will still be 6 when 2nd grade starts next Fall.

    I really dont want to emphasis 'good' grades. DH and I want to emphasis ' do your best' and to ask for help if you dont understand.

    I was paid for As & Bs as a student, but it did not affect my grades since I was naturally inclined to try to do well. I got a very poor grade (D) in Chemistry in High School, but my parents understood and helped me the entire semester and I still struggled and I did not get punished at all. I switched teachers and that really did make a difference (teaching style). It got a C in French- and did have to check in with my parents for a semester until it rose to a B because I was not studying or completing some of my work. I graduated with honors and can honestly say that I learned a lot from the few poor grades I did get, I learned how I did (and did not) learn best and also what my own strengths and weaknesses were. Now an elementary age students would not likely gather all that from a report card, but the idea behind working hard and learning from mistakes begins early.

    DH got paid for grades and was an average student. It did not make a difference to him since he was honest and said he slacked off a lot- $ four times a year (report cards) did not really make a big impact over 9 months of daily school.
    1 person likes this.
  7. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    Nope, no rewards. I grew up in a house where if you could do well you were expected to, and if you couldn't but tried, that was fine. Sometimes local restaurants will give a coupon, and occasionally we visit them, but we very rarely eat out. My kids get high fives for a good report card, and it's never been a problem. Besides, the schools pile on rewards (especially food <_< ) for every tiny thing.

    ETA: One of mine is 20 and one is a senior in high school (the girls are in third grade), so I'm sure this is the system I'll stick with.
    5 people like this.
  8. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    We also don't reward for grades. I want my kids to do their best because it makes them proud, not because of some reward that I give them. We do celebrate a good overall report with a special dinner out, or ice cream, but that is all.
    1 person likes this.
  9. MLH

    MLH Well-Known Member

    Same here. We usually do something at the end of the year, but not with every report card. I want them to do their best for themselves and not some extrinsic reward. I grew up in a house where my Dad tied paying us for good grades. I was already getting good grades so it was just icing on the cake. It did not make my brother get better grades. DH grew up in a house that didn't expect much of him grade wise and it showed eventhough he's a very intelligent guy and has gone on to get 2 Master's degrees.
    1 person likes this.
  10. Mellizos

    Mellizos Well-Known Member

    We surprised them with dinner and a movie for a very good report card last semester. But we don't have any set reward.
    2 people like this.
  11. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    I don't plan on giving them rewards. They did great on their first and I praised them verbally, but like others said, they should get good grades because they can, not for a reward.

    Plus I wouldn't want to make one kid feel bad not getting as much $$$ as the other especially if they were working really hard for that B. :pardon: It could be discouraging.
    4 people like this.
  12. Jill R.

    Jill R. Well-Known Member

    When I was a kid, my sister and I got our own jars of green olives for good grades. We still call them "report card olives" :)

    It's different with my kids. Jack has Autism, so he doesn't get grades, and wouldn't understand rewarding them even if he did get a regular report card. With Ally, she does get a little something for a good report card, usually some small toy or whatever she wants at that moment. She brought all of her grades up on the last report card (A- or B+ up to A's) so she got taken out for dinner and a local hockey game.
    1 person likes this.
  13. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    Nah, I don't think so. If a B were a "good grade" for that child, they would be rewarded. IMO.

    That's pretty much what I was thinking of doing.
  14. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I'm not thinking along the lines of paying them...but that's just me. My parents used to buy us a little something special we've been wanting, or took us out for ice cream, little things like that. I was thinking of doing the same.

    One of my girls has been asking for a particular item. Although I think it's a little pricey of an award for a quarterly report card, I was thinking of maybe an end of the year gift for a wonderful Kindergarten year. :good:

    But, you all gave me a lot of food for thought.

    Thank you SO MUCH for all the input!! :bow2:
  15. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    We're on the 1-4 scale also. :good:
  16. Lougood

    Lougood Well-Known Member

    This. :good:
  17. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    I just see rewarding good grades as similar to someone getting a bonus at work (or a raise) for a job well done, I was given money or a toy of my choice within a price range, as a child and I got good grades...not because of the reward but because I was able to and it was expected of me. The rewards were just a fun little perk of to all of my hard work.
  18. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I'm on the same page. :good: A little "bonus". :D
  19. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    I generally got a small monetary "reward" from my grandma - but what my parents would do was a bigger gift for a bigger achievement - like I got a stereo system when I made national honor society in 11th grade, I got a car my senior year (a complete beater that cost $400 but it was still a car!) - we didn't do allowance in my house either, but if I wanted to go to the mall with my friends occasionally they'd give me $10 for lunch and a cassette tape (now I'm REALLY dating myself LOL)...
  20. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    :rofl: Mine would do the same! Wasn't it more exciting when you could stretch the money and buy some cassingles?! :yahoo:
  21. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    This totally! My son's grades really seem to come easy for him but my daughter struggles. My sister and I were asked when we were teenagers if we'd like to be rewarded with $$ for good grades... we both declined. We were B students. We both worked VERY hard for those. I will take them out for ice cream or something and tie that onto the report card.. actually yesterday I gave them an extra half hour of Super Mario time.
    Like Sharon said, we expect them to work hard. Money does not buy happiness.
  22. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I too was a B student, and still got rewarded because it was my hardest efforts. :D

    Money does not buy true. But rewards, even an extra half hour of video game time, IMO, show them you are proud of their hard work. :good:
    1 person likes this.
  23. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    yea cuz then you could get the songs you really wanted without buying the whole thing!

  24. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    There was always the option of sitting by the cassette player with the radio on waiting for your favorites to play to make your own mix tapes :laughing:
    5 people like this.
  25. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    Growing up I was expected to make A's and B's. If a B- came home, my mom would be at the school trying to find out why my grade was that low. I was a lazy but natural student that never worked to make those grades. My brother on the other hand... my parents got concerned when he would bring home a D and would reward him (verbally) for pulling them up to C's. He had to work for every one of those grades in most subjects. He did have his few subjects he made high B's in without much trouble, but they were far and few between. If we had been paid for our grades he would have eventually given up because he would never have the grades I did. As for my little sister, her grades fell through high school, but it had nothing to do with academic ability.
    2 people like this.
  26. BRMommy

    BRMommy Well-Known Member

    No rewards for good grades. When I was growing up, I got excellent grades at school (I was the high school salutatorian) but never got a reward. It was just expected of us, just like doing our daily chores or brushing your teeth every night. So I haven't even thought about giving my kids rewards for good grades. If they ever come home with bad grades, that's something we have to address (maybe do some extra work on the weekends or get a tutor). But good grades is just something that should be normal.

    I do give reward stickers and rewards for other things though. Like when one of my boys is helpful to their little sister or if they behaved particularly well in a difficult situation.
  27. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    We do not reward them.
  28. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    No rewards here, either. I expect them to try their best & get the best grades possible because they should not because they are expecting a reward. They know that we are proud of them & all that they have accomplished, I tell them so regularly, but no gifts or monetary rewards.
  29. shoudeshell

    shoudeshell Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't do rewards because I think good grades are to be expected. I would just verbally praise them. However, my DH thinks rewards are good. So we do the ice cream run or small unexpected gift. I'm okay with that because I know DH's heart is in the right place. However, good grades might look different for each child. If My chid brings home A's, then I'm really pleased. However, I would never pressure them for A's. I only tell my kids that I expect their very best work. If for one particular child, that best is a C, then I will be very pleased. I don't want to put any undo pressure on my kids to get A 's if that would be terribly hard for them.
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