sleeping positions

So I feel like I'm doing something super naughty by letting DS nap on his tummy, but (as you can tell from my million previous posts! sorry!) he's got gas and insane constipation going on. I've been checking on him every 5 minutes or so out of paranoia but he is resting better than he has in DAYS. Anybody else break the rules and let their LO sleep on their tummies instead of their backs? With older DS I was a nazi about making sure I followed all the "rules" but this time around I must be feeling a little rebellious.

Does sleeping on their tummies really cause SIDS? I think that's my biggest fear.

 

I had several tummy sleepers, they really do sleep longer & better that way, don't they? But, yes, there have been links between sleeping on their tummy & SIDS. You have to decide for yourself what's best for you & for him and how much risk you are willing to accept. I always made sure there was nothing around their faces (blankets, etc) and I didn't let them tummy sleep until they had really good neck strength & could lift their head up and move it around well. For us, it worked okay, but everyone has to decide for themselves.

 

I'm not sure it "causes" SIDS but it is a risk factor. I mean, we all slept on our tummies and lived--although more of our peers died than do babies nowadays when back sleeping is prevalent. It's thought that some babies are predisposed to SIDS and those babies are protected by back sleeping--but no one knows how to identify those babies. It's like driving a car without a seatbelt--no it probably won't matter, but do you want to be the one who gets into a serious car accident without one?
SIDS is the number one killer of babies under age 1--even more than car accidents.

And the risk of SIDS is even higher for preemies--quite a bit higher!

Personally, the risk is one I would never take. If mine want to sleep on their tummies, they have to get themselves there on their own!

 

We put our girls to sleep on their tummies for naps, just not at night. They slept better that way. At night I had wedges and we wedged them on their sides. Mine were not good back sleepers.

 

the back-to-sleep recommendation has resulted in a pretty significant drop in SIDS, but that doesn't mean sleeping on their tummies is 100% bad.

if you're around and alert and they're napping, tummy sleeping is probably fine. at night, however, i would stick to back-to-sleep.

if you're very concerned you should talk to your pedi and see if he/she can't put some good guidelines around when it should and shouldn't be considered safe.

 

We let our babies sleep on their tummies starting when they came home from the NICU. But ONLY because we had 2 Angelcare monitors which we tested out several times. That gave us piece of mind. I wouldn't have let them sleep on their tummies otherwise because I would have been too scared about SIDS. And our boys sleep sooo much better on their tummies, always have. If one of them falls asleep while being held by our babysitter and she lays them in the crib on their back, they are guaranteed to wake up within 20 minutes.

 

I have broken the rules lots of times with my twins. Things I never did with my first, I do now. We are playing a whole different game with twins. Honestly, if it is helping him sleep and you get a minute of peace, go for it! Although it isn't recommended, I know lots of moms who do put their babies on their tummies for naps.

 

Just know that if you choose to use an Angelcare (and we did for a while), it will only notify you that your baby is dead--not that your baby is in the process of dying because the Angelcare isn't measuring whether your baby is getting enough fresh oxygen--only whether breathing has stopped, which is thought to be the end stage of a SIDS death and occurs AFTER the brain is basically dead (ie, Angelcare goes off, your baby has already been dead for 20 seconds) and CPR may get them breathing again but irreversible brain damage has already occurred. The monitor certainly can bring peace of mind but doesn't replace "Back to Sleep" practices as a way to prevent a SIDS death.

SIDS is like having your head stuck in a plastic bag. If you are found 20 seconds after you have stopped breathing (not passed out, but stopped breathing), even if you can be revived, there's going to be severe brain damage from the lack of oxygen. The difference is that with the plastic bag, you will struggle while babies who die of SIDS don't struggle.

 

There is a link between tummy sleeping & SIDS. Thats why they say no tummy sleeping.

However I personally let my kids nap on their tummys, once in a while. If I'm sitting right there watching them the whole time. If I'm up cleaning or something I always make sure they are on their backs.

 

WHEW! lol I knew this was going to be a touchy subject.

With older DS I *NEVER* let him sleep on his tummy and he only got tummy time when he was awake when I could sit right next to him and watch him with my undivided attention.

I have heard lots of things from both sides of the fence over the last couple of years from friends with kids. But I always stuck my nose up in that snooty "I'm such a better mommy than you" sort of fashion when my friends would tell me they let their kids sleep on their tummies. However - with DS not sleeping at night and crying all night long. And I do mean all. night. long. He's so exhausted during the day that he cries to be held all day. I noticed that he's most quiet when laying on his stomach up against me and I'm leaning back in the recliner or on the couch. So that's why I thought about laying him on his tummy today. And lo and behold he slept for a good 2 hours uninterrupted. I did keep him close by in his bassinet that I moved into the living room for that purpose and I did peek in on him very frequently, as I also looked over my shoulder to see who could be lurking and waiting to jump out and yell "BAD MOM!".

All of that being said, I'd never let him sleep on his tummy at night. Until he's old enough to roll over and put himself there on his own, anyways. (Older DS did that a lot and it would freak me out!). Not only would I worry all night long and not be able to sleep myself but I also don't want to take that risk where he'd go hours without being checked on.

ETA ... how cute he looks sleeping so peacefully. Honestly, this is the most relaxed and rested he has been in days. Benjamin Sleeping ... zzzz

 

You are absolutely not a bad mom. :hug: I read an article recently that basically says many parents feel exactly as you do, you are exhausted, the baby is exhausted, you want to do what the doctor's say, but the baby will actually sleep when on his/her tummy. I remember feeling the same way myself. It's a tough decision & one that only you can make as the parent after weighing all the information.

Here is the article if you want to read it, it might make you feel better to know that many people struggle with the same problem! It doesn't advocate tummy sleeping or back sleeping, it's just an interesting read.

 

Thank you! It was a good read and I'm actually going to share it with DH when he gets home. I thought this quote was pretty interesting:

"The role of the professional is to say 'these are the recommendations and this is why.' The role of the parent is to think critically and apply those recommendations in a way that makes their life manageable."

 

I think this is good advice for parenting in general. When you face hard decisions, gather your information & facts, weigh them all & then make the best decision for your family. In this case, look at the statistics & recommendations, then make your choice whatever that might be.

 

My older DD never spent anytime sleeping on her stomach until she could get herself there on her own. The boys were on apnea monitors until they could roll over. We slept them on their stomachs because they had reflux and research and our Ped GI suggested they would be more comfortable with gentle pressure applied to their stomachs. Our Pulmonologist was on board and kept them on the apnea monitors until they could safely roll themselves.

You are not a bad mother. We all make choices that go against what others believe is the right thing to do.

 

You have to decide what risk you are comfortable with---I mean, it's not like tummy sleeping is illegal (like driving without a carseat) or always unhealthy (like giving your baby a beer) or inherently dangerous (like shaking them). Are you comfortable with increasing the risk of death for your babies--while either way, it is unlikely to happen, but you are increasing the risk. Like PP said, only you can decide. It's like a lot of people let their babies sleep in carseats and even place carseats into the crib. Both practices have been linked to deaths and recommendations have come out against doing these things. But a lot of people do it anyway. If you are looking for people to tell you that stomach sleeping is OK, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna do it because I don't believe it is. But I'm also not gonna come over to your house in the middle of the night and roll those babies over for you! I don't think I'm any better than you, but just that as moms we have made different choices.

BTW, I had a severe projectile screaming in pain refluxer, and he was definitely more comfy on his tummy, but I only allowed that when he was sleeping on my chest--gave me a chance to catch up on stuff on the laptop! And this morning, my back sleeping DD had her face firmly planted right into the mattress :gah: so eventually they will be sleeping on their stomachs whether you like it or not!

Here is another interesting read: AAP Article

 

I dont think she is looking for anyone to give her permission as to what is best for HER babies. She is just looking for guidance about tummy sleeping and what others are doing or have done. It has nothing to do with who is a better parent or what choice is the RIGHT one.

ETA: To comment on your article, it's like you can site a million different references for FF vs. BFing. We all know Breast is Best. But lots of us still FF for other reasons. It's those OTHER reasons that some of us choose to place our babies to sleep on their stomachs. Whether you are black or white, we all make choices that go against the grain. ardon:

 

Another interesting article about why moms chose tummy sleeping: AAP Article 2

Rachel: These two articles are NOT about why Back To Sleep is best--they are about "WHY" moms chose back or tummy sleeping. They are both very interesting reads--and they do address the OP's concern about what decisions other moms made.

 

I get that. But it's a very controlled study using WIC candidates. And really all is does it add fuel to the fire of tummy vs. back sleeping. It's all about making choices as I said earlier. And you can site a million references as to why its better, why its wrong, why people choose to do so. It wont change that people will still choose to do so.

 

I let mine tummy sleep.

 

No I wasn't asking permission by any means. I'll eventually chose to do what I wish and ultimately the consequences are mine. I wasn't asking for validation either. I was simply asking for other opinions and experiences from mom's who have considered it, done it, not done it, are against it, etc. I appreciate all the articles from both posters that gave links.

I so did not mean for this to turn into such a big deal. I was honestly simply just trying to get some experiences and view points.

 

Don't worry about it! Some topics seem to really hit a nerve with people sometimes, but there was no problem at all with the question or the topic. We are here to lend support to each other and to get feedback from other moms about what's worked for them & what their experiences have been. You can just sift through & take what you need from all of the responses you get, rarely does everyone agree on any given subject!

 

I'm in the same boat. My boys started to fall asleep on their tummys while doing tummy time. Now, one of mine cries when he is on his back. He can pick up his head fine and can cry when he wants me to come get him. But, I know this is a risk and both DH and I are nervous about letting him sleep on his stomache. For now, we are letting them sleep that way, but not sure if we'll continue.

And, the Times article was very interesting. It's true that since the rate of SIDS has gone down, that we don't know anyone who has an infant who has died of it. It's very scary and a hard decision when your LO sleeps on his belly and cries on his back.

 

What I don't understand about SIDS, and maybe no one knows, is that people in general seem to say that they'll let their LO sleep on their stomaches when they can lift their head or can rollover themselves. I know I feel this way as I said in my pp. However, from what I am reading, infants can still die of SIDS, even if they can rollover.

 

Here goes....

My boys-never slept on their stomachs at night until they were around four months old. I remember one night, Anthony REFUSED to go to sleep. He kept screaming and screaming. So I said to myself, "Let me try this." I walked back over to the crib, laid him down on his stomach-and he was fast asleep. They took their naps in their swings, swaddled, until six months.

He now tends to sleep on his side/stomach.

Ms. Annabella was a whole other ball game! I don't think she EVER slept on her back. She just wouldn't do it. And frankly, having two 20 month olds to take care of, as well as an infant-I was exhausted and needed my sleep. So-in the beginning-she slept on me. Yup she did! I had a boppy pillow on me and surrounded myself with pillows. Then, it came to the point where I couldn't keep doing that, as I wasn't sleeping-and I needed sleep. So I went and laid her on her stomach, in the PNP, directly next to me bed. She slept soundly. Beautifully. And she's been sleeping that way ever since. I will say, she also had amazing neck control from the very beginning.

It was an exhaustion factor for me. I couldn't function on such little sleep and take care of three little kids who needed me. It was a decision *I* felt comfortable with. Just like I felt comfortable pumping, or formula feeding, or turning their carseats around at 14 months. It's what worked for *MY* family-and I think that's what is the most important factor!

 

I let mine tummy sleep during naps when they were within my sight occassionally at that age, I did it more often when they got older. However, I never let any of my kids sleep on their back. When my oldest was born he was in the NICU for a week, where they started him sleeping on his back, until he had an apnea episode and they realized he had terrible reflux, which was coming up his throat and choking him in his sleep, because he wasn't old enough to swallow it down or choke it up. He essentially died, stopped breathing, before the NICU nurse revived him. I was sent home with instructions to side sleep him only, with blankets or a wedge to keep him from rolling onto his back, and an apnea monitor.

When he was about 6 wks old, with my ped's permission, he hadn't had any more apnea episodes, and we were told as long as someone was holding him, we could unplug the monitor from him. A family member was holding him on his back and we were all sitting and chatting at easter time. I glanced over and, as was my habit, looked to see if Sean was breathing. And he wasn't. I picked him up immediately and put him to my shoulder, patting his back....still wasn't breathing. My mom had the presence of mind to roll him onto his tummy on the table and pound on his back until he started crying/breathing again.

From that day on, not one of my kids has slept on their back. I know the studies say that babies won't choke on their back, but my son is proof that they CAN choke, especially if they have reflux, and i was more willing to risk the small chance of SIDS by them sleeping on their side, than I was willing to risk them choking on spit up.

This just goes to show that you have to take the "studies", and the "recommendations", and process them all....and then do what's right for you and your babies. I personally have read studies that show there are possibly other causes to SIDS, one study linked it to the salmonella bacteria. One study linked it to a deficiency in a certain hormone or something in the spinal cord, something that they can't test yet while the baby is alive. Overall, they really don't know what causes it, so while the back to sleep campaign seems to be helping, it could also be the increase in prenatal care, and postnatal followups that's actually preventing infant deaths....

Good luck choosing what's right for you and for your babies! :hug:

 

We did it every once in a while in PNPs in the same room as us, within sight. We also occasionally slept with our babies as they much preferred to take naps on us v. Their bouncy seats. Heck, they didn't start sleeping in their cribs until they were 4 months. Then it was on their backs, but now that they can roll, I've got a side sleeper and a tummy sleeper.

 

I disagree with your assertion that Angelcare monitors only notify when a baby is "dead", as opposed to when a baby has not breathed for 20 seconds. I think it is possible for a baby to stop breathing for 20 seconds and then be physically stimulated to breath again to prevent death. I saw my own baby stop breathing for 20 seconds or more in the NICU and after several tense seconds the nurses were able to stimulate him to breath again. I also recall reading some Angelcare reviews from people (and there are several hundred reviews out there on several different websites) who firmly believe that an Angelcare monitor saved their babies life because once it alarmed they rushed to their non-breathing baby and smacked their back and their baby start breathing again. I read two or three such "testimonials." Now maybe they were all lying or overexaggerating, but I doubt all of them were.

 

I also agree that a baby can stop breathing for 20 seconds and be stimulated to breathe again. I say this because the apnea monitors in the hospitals and also the ones they send babies home on are set so that they only alarm once the baby has had an apnea episode of 20 seconds. Then the monitor beeps once per second until the condition is resolved.

 

unfortunately no one knows for sure what causes SIDS. SIDS may, in fact, be a spectrum of issues that lead to the same result. what they do know, however, is that back-to-sleep has correlated with a downturn in incidents of SIDS. it doesn't mean tummy sleeping causes SIDS, or that 100% back sleeping will eliminate SIDS entirely. there are other correlating factors like smoking that are associated with an increased or decreased incidence.

it is, at best, an educated assumption that babies who can lift their heads and roll over are at reduced risk. again, this is correlation, not causation. there's no definitive science that absolutely says neck strength has anything to do with mitigating the actual cause of SIDS.

just a little science perspective. :good:

 

No science here, but I just wanted to add that my sons once they could roll over from back to tummy at 4 mos BOTH started rolling over as soon as we put them in their cribs to sleep. I spent a week running in there rolling them over, loosing sleep. It happened that we had a WBV later that week and I asked my pedi about it who assured me there was nothing that could be done to stop them from sleeping on their tummies.
It's just funny how the message of back is best was pounded into my head to the point of paranoia! Do you swaddle your guy when you put him on his back? I do think that the NB halo sleep sacks with the wings to swaddle helped my gassy, colic baby settle down. Maybe mimics the pressure of laying on the belly??? Of course when I used that I only put him on his back, and once the rolling started had to discontinue the use.....

 

I purposely put mine on their tummies to nap when they were tiny to give them tummy time. I only did it during the day and on the floor or couch where I could watch them the whole time. At night, I always put them on their backs.

Claire, however, is now quite the accomplished roller-overer and we can't keep her on her back for anything. The pedi told us to stop swaddling her and just let her go. She would rollover while swaddled which scared me. With her arms out she can move around as much as she wants, and she does! She is already trying to crawl and is never in the same place that we put her on the floor or in the crib for more than a few minutes.

We have been letting her do whatever she wants to sleep. If she can get herself in the position, she can sleep in it. I do check on her still periodically throughout the night, which I do for both of them. Athan is just only starting to turn on his side recently and he has been doing that to sleep and that's fine with me, too.

To me, the recent studies that suggest SIDS might have a genetic link makes sense. And, I am a believer in God and to me, God gave me these babies and if he wants them back, he'll take them no matter how they sleep. I trust in that.

So... for me, once they can get on their tummies on their own, I let them. I also lean towards the genetic link of SIDS which I cannot control and my faith in God helps me to sleep at night, too.

As others have said, they are your babies and you do what you think is ok.

 

Very much agreed!

 

god could take them whether you put them in a car seat or not. doesn't mean you should go without a car seat.

everyone will make their own decisions. what's important is to make informed decisions that you're comfortable with, regardless of whether other moms think it's controversial. as PP said, it's about weighing the standard recommendations and applying reason to decide what's right for you and your family.

 

Exactly right, and as I stated in my previous post, I slept them on their backs at night until they could roll over on their own. I do everything I can to keep them safe and then leave it to God. That was my point.

And I agree with the rest of your post.

 

Both of mine tummy sleep now that they're unswaddled. They were swaddled until they were 7 months old and at that point V managed to flip onto her tummy while swaddled so I knew it was time to get rid of the swaddle. Now they both sleep on their tummies and sleep much better because of it. But they are now 8.5 months old so I am not worried because they can flip over on their own. You might want to try swaddling if you're not already doing it - it helped my babes sleep better when they were younger and seemed to help their reflux (in terms of gentle pressure on their tummies). We also use wedge-shaped sleep positioners in the early months. But you have to make the decision that you're comfortable with. I think you may not be all together comfortable with letting your DS sleep on his tummy because you admit that you check on him a lot and worry about the SIDS risk. I hope you can come to a decision that you're comfortable with and best of luck! :hug: