Spanking

i saw a mention of a paddle that can be purchased at the church???

I have to say.. i'm ok with spanking.. as in a quick swat on the butt, clothing on.. open hand... but once an object is brought in.. i.e wooden spoon, paddle, belt.. something that's going to leave a mark.. that's beyond punishment... beyond just an attention getter...

I was spanked as a kid.. open hand, never with an object.. and yeah.. that was all that was needed to get my attention.. i didn't like it.. i quickly learned not to do whatever i was not supposed to do...

My girls are a little young for spanking right now.. i'm trying redirection.. but they're so stubborn it's not working yet either.. when they're older... i probably won't have a problem with a swift smack on the butt... DH & i have spoken about it.. and he agrees with me... but that's just my 2cents..

 

just my 2cents...

I was occasionally spanked as a child and I have to say, it still bothers me. I don't have self-asteem issues, I have a good job, never got into any trouble and have become a responsible adult. I was spanked when I got out of line, usually by my father. I still remember the few times when it happened from when I was 9 and up. If it happened before I don't remember for some reason. But like I said to this day, and I'm 32, it really bothers me that my parents did that to me, it really feels humiliating and just mean, like how could they do that to me? This is just how I feel. I am still very close to my parents, so it's not like I hate them for it but I wish they would have found a better way to deal with me.

I'm not sure what I will do when my kids get to that stage, they are just 1 so we haven't come to that yet...

 

My opinion is that any time my parents punished me I didnt like it. If I was spanked..time out..made to go without dinner. I would think they were mean and didnt like it at the time. But spankings worked for me..because I didnt misbehave as much as I could have. My brother on the other hand..spankings did not work for him..he is still a trouble maker and he is 30 yrs old. I like it has a lot to do with the kids.

Also punishment..or discipline..or whatever it is called, isnt suppose to be liked. Its suppose to be something that isnt liked..so they dont do it again. Just my opinion...

Brandy

 

quote:
Originally posted by Cake:

So far two of us have admitted to taking control of our parent’s discipline by hitting them. I can’t speak for Snittens but somewhere along the line I figured out that being the hitter put you in the driver’s seat.



This is what happened with me. My mom used to swat me on the arm. OK, that's not exactly "spanking", but I think it falls into the same category. My dad did the actual spanking. Anyway, I was 7 yrs old, and she swatted me for something, and I just upped and did it back. I was sick of it. Now I was not abused or anything, I don't remember getting spanked or swatted that much, I just didn't want her swatting my arm any more.

 

quote:
Originally posted by texastwinks:
Question! (and I am NOT being sarcastic for once)

What do you do when you have two 15 mo olds who continue to repeat a behavior or action that you have corrected a 1000 times?




I have two 15 month olds too, and that's where I'm at. They just don't understand. Yes, it's exasperating, but it's their age. If they are touching something I don't want them to touch, I either remove the child (we go to another room) or the object, whichever is more practical. If they are hitting each other, I separate them. Stuff like sippy cup and food throwing, I take away the cup. If they are throwing food and it's towards the end of the meal, we're done. If it's the beginning, I parcel the food out in one or two pieces. Redirection works for most stuff for me, but yes, I've gotten laughed at too when I say No. It's very frustrating. Sometimes I just pack them up and we go somewhere, anywhere, just to break the mood. The worst thing for me is when they fight diaper changes. If I set them down to change and it's already getting ugly, I just pull the pants back up and do it later. They won't die sitting in a dirty diaper for another few minutes.
I can proudly say I haven't once spanked or swatted. Felt like it occasionally, but I have comitted to not doing that.

 

Mine are too young to worry about that subject yet so we'll cross that bridge when we get there. As a child, I was spanked only when I did things that threatened my life...running in front of a car when I was told always to look both ways...sticking my finger in an electrical socket..etc. As a child, you don't understand the consequence of death; you do, however, understand what a spanking feels like and what causes them. I have no ill effects from being spanked on those rare occasions and for all I know, they saved my life at some point. I don't think there's a right or wrong here...it's up to each parent to decide what works best for their kids. I had a good, healthy fear of being spanked and I was never beaten. That said, I'll probably follow in my parent's footsteps but it depends on whether or not my kids respond the same way I did. If not, back to the drawingboard

 

quote:
Originally posted by mom_stacyX2:

If my 10month old is climbing on the entertainment center and I smack her bottom once.


Put a gate up or something. You just can't expect a 10 month old to leave stuff alone.

 

It's been stated a few times in this thread by the "spankers" that kids today are not disciplined enough, you see children throwing tantrums in the stores, etc. OK, well Brandy (hope you don't mind me using your story), who does spank her children, posted about her DD throwing tantrums in public. So let's say you witnessed this. Wouldn't you think "oh my, I bet that child doesn't get spanked!" So how does spanking a child prohibit normal toddler behavior like throwing fits in public? How do you automatically know which child gets spanked or not?

 

to clarify

I understand it's supposed to be mean, but for me, I guess it feels like a betrayal, I think that's what I'm trying to say. I'm an only child and and we were always very close, I mean very, my parents never went on a vacation without me until I was 17. So when I think about it now its' like you're supposed to love me and you did that to me? Now this is just my experience. I have told my parents this but they feel that I'm being too sensitive, since I was spanked occasionally. Maybe I am too sensitive.

I don't know what the answer is, I'm just sharing how I feel about what happened to me.

 

quote:
Originally posted by Snittens:
Anyway, I was 7 yrs old, and she swatted me for something, and I just upped and did it back. I was sick of it.


I was wracking my brain trying to figure out how old I was and 8 was what I came up with. So I wasn’t that far off if it was 7 for you.

 

quote:
Originally posted by Snittens:
It's been stated a few times in this thread by the "spankers" that kids today are not disciplined enough, you see children throwing tantrums in the stores, etc. OK, well Brandy (hope you don't mind me using your story), who does spank her children, posted about her DD throwing tantrums in public. So let's say you witnessed this. Wouldn't you think "oh my, I bet that child doesn't get spanked!" So how does spanking a child prohibit normal toddler behavior like throwing fits in public? How do you automatically know which child gets spanked or not?


I agree, you most likely wouldnt know which children are spanked or not spanked during this kind of thing. (you have to be careful also) there are people wanting to take kids away because of spankings..so I dont spank in public view. I always do it when no one is looking...or in the bathroom or at home. A spanking is the only thing that got Faith into her carseat though..just to point that out. Sometimes its the only thing that works for her..and sometimes it makes matters worse. Time out in her room alone..works the best for her..and counting to 3 works the best for Bridget. So far I have only had to pop Garrett on his butt one time..for continously pulling Bridgets hair. He didnt pull her hair anymore after that though..

I think you can point out kids that have no punishment at all..and those who have some sort of punishment. I use to work at a Youth Center and there were these 3 boys whose parents worked all the time. They never got punished for anything..and you knew it. Their parents told me they felt guilty for working all the time..and hated making them do anything when they were together. So their rule is as long as they didnt hurt anyone they didnt get punished. Those were 3 boys I hated to see walk in to the Youth Center. They were awful. Disrespectful..bad kids. They had no discipline at all. I wanted to bend them over my knee a couple of times..but it wasnt my place. Instead we had to tell the parents they had to make them behave or they wouldnt be allowed back at the Youth Center. They came back one more time..broke a window on purpose, and got kicked out. It doesnt bother me if you spank your kids or not..it is up to you. Just like it is up to me. My kids will get spankings and time outs..and things taken away..and whatever I can do to make them MIND me.

Brandy

 

quote:
Originally posted by 2for1:
quote:
Originally posted by BettiePage:
I guess I am just at a loss to understand why some people think there is absolutely no way to convey to a child that that adults are "in charge" without resorting to physical pain and/or humiliation.


I don't think anyone has said exactly that. no one has said there is absolutely no way.
Actually several people have said that they use spanking as a disciplinary technique because children need to respect their authority and know who is in control, and one poster said that our society went to **** in a handbasket when schools were no longer allowed to use corporal punishment, and followed that sentence with one about children need to know who is IN CONTROL. Several posters replied that they agreed. To me the clear implication in all of those posts was that absent spankings or other corporal punishment, there was no other way to convey that control. So that's what I was responding to.

For me, I don't think it's ever acceptable to hit another person or cause another person to experience physical pain, unless it is in self defense, so no, I certainly don't feel comfortable doling that our to my children.

 

quote:
Originally posted by mom_stacyX2:
Ok, so for the "jail" solution, what if they keep going into your closet for the toy, again, and again, and again. I think that throwing your childs toy away as punishment is more hurtful than a spanking.
I think that a reason spanking is being used, is to address the situation immediately. If you take a toy away, they forget what for. If you use a time out. Again, they forget what for. Even before a timeout is over and you ask "what are you sorry for?" They will tell you, but they don't really know the extremeness of what they have done. They will know what the spanking is for, because it is an immediate consequence.

Let me just say that I DO NOT plan on spanking. However, I am not AFRAID to use it if necessary. I personally, found "psychological" punishments to do more damage to me as an adult, than "physical" punishments.


The toy is put up where they can not get to it. When it does go to jail I make sure that they know exactly why its there and when it will come out. If they attempt to get it then the toy stays longer. Its important to take the toy out when you say you are going to. Generally the toy is not put in jail longer than a day. Cause you are right kids will forget. Thats why you need to communicate why the toy is being taken away. After toy is given back talk about it again. I take the toy immeditatly. I dont wait. If you take a toy that your child values ALOT they will not like that it is taken away from them. For my son it is his dinasaurs, for my girls their dolls. All I have to say is "Do you want your dinasaur or doll put in jail?" I threw away my sons toy one time cause he had been being rough with his sisters and was not listening when I told him to calm down. I told him if it happened again one of his dinasaurs would end up gone(in the garbage). He didnt listen. He takes me serious and generally a warning is good enough. With the girls I dont throw their toys away. I dont think they would get the concept and forget because of their age. But i most definatly take their toys away. I use timeout also. Generally I use timeout first THEN if timeout doesnt work then a special toy is taken away. Till they have said sorry and I make them tell me why the toy was taken away in the first place.

I remeber when my son was about three years old I spanked him for something. He cryed and cryed afterwards. He asked me "Why did you hit me mom?" I told him you didnt listen to me. You were not minding me. He says "But why did you hit me?" The whole idea of why he was in trouble was way above his head. The only thing he kept thinking was "why did mom hit me?" That was the last time I spanked him. I didnt like they way I felt when I spanked him and I didnt like his response to it.

I personally dont like spanking my kids. I did spank my son on occassion till he was 3yrs old. To be honest most of time I was frustrated and irritated at the time of spanking him. I have freinds who spank their kids and all the times I have seen them spank their kids it has always been with a hint of frustration with the child. There is no smile or calmness about the spanking. It is fast, quick spank on the butt. After Ramzie(my son)conversation when he was 3yrs old I decided that I would rather take a toy away from him while being frustrated and irritated then to spank. For us my kids get the point better when something they LOVE is taken away rather then spanking them. My son will fall to the ground crying cause his Long Neck Dinasaur was put in jail. Personally I dont think that an immediate consequence such as spanking is nesseriously something that will make them think about what they did wrong. I think sitting in timeout with nothing to do or not having that special toy to play with for the day will leave a lasting effect. After the spanking is over(the pain is over) what then? My father when we were little would talk to us constantly when we would do something wrong. He would follow us around the house and drowned us with "words of wisdom." To be honest I would have loved it if he would have just spnaked us and got it over with.

Cherie
ramzie
malena & sofia
chalo
oscar

 

quote:
Originally posted by a1cbrandy:
I just want to say..if I had ever hit my mother..I would have been in the hospital or the grave. The first rule on my house HONOR your mother and Father. If one of my kids ever hit me..they will only do it once. I think its sad to say..dont spank because the kid might hit you back. Thats the silliest thing I have heard.

Spankings made me aware of a painful fact. Life is not perfect..you mess up..you get punished or you get hurt. I grew up saying YES Ma'am and NO SIR. I grew up being saying Thank you and no thank you. Spankings me KNOW I better be good away from my parents..because if they heard about something I had done or was doing..I wouldnt be able to sit down for a couple of days. LOL Yes I was scared of my mom..but in a good way. In a positive way..in a way that was first surrounded by love, respect and then knowing she is the boss. My kids will learn the same thing.

I have spanked all my kids for various offenses. Yes temper tantrums in public will get a spanking. I dont care if they are 3 and "suppose" to be throwing a temper tantrum..not on my clock they arent. The fact is I am the boss..my husband is the boss. My kids are the most important thing in my life..but they will learn how to behave and act according to my rules and the Bible.

Brandy



I agree with you 100%!

 

quote:
Originally posted by a1cbrandy:
so I dont spank in public view. I always do it when no one is looking...or in the bathroom or at home.


But if the threat of a spanking is effective, why isn’t it enough to stop the behavior right then and there?

I truthfully don’t have any issues with public misbehavior other than a little whining in rare occasions but it’s usually because they are tired or bored. I cannot stand for my 3 year old to touch things though and she knows that if I have to tell her that more than twice, she has to hold onto the stroller a specified amount of time. If she touches again after her freedom is returned, into the stroller or cart she goes for the rest of the outing. There was one time where we were without a cart so I put her in a timeout right there in the store. If I’d had to take her into a bathroom or wait until we got home for her “punishmentâ€Â, it wouldn’t have had as much of an impact and we both would have been miserable the rest of the time. I’m not into prolonging my misery any so I like the swift approach that I can use in any situation.

quote:
Originally posted by Nessa's3Girls+TwinBoys:
quote:
Originally posted by a1cbrandy:
I just want to say..if I had ever hit my mother..I would have been in the hospital or the grave.


I agree with you 100%!

So it’s okay to hit to the point to the point of a child needing medical attention to maintain control?

 

No one said anything about hitting their child to the point of needing medical attention. I think when brandy said if her kids ever hit her that that would be the last time her kids hit her...I don't for one second believe that she meant that she was going to beat her child to the point of needing medical attention. I believe what she meant is that she was confident enough as a mother to be able to handle that situation in a manner that would guarantee that her child would never hit her again. Wether it be with a spanking a stern talking to... etc.

I think those kids that hit back are the ones who don't get it and therefor qualify as the kids who spanking doesn't work for.

 

quote:
So it’s okay to hit to the point to the point of a child needing medical attention to maintain control?


I don't think they meant it literally, just that THEIR parent was in control and would not tolerate such disrespect form their child. My Mom was the same way...had I hit either of my parents I would have gotten it good. I however, respected the authority of my Mom to not hit her back as did Brandy and Nessa.

 

Exactly my point...kim and Nessa. I respected my parents to know that hitting them back wasnt going to get me anywhere in life. I also agree that if a child is hitting back..then the punishment of spanking isnt working for her or him, and something else needs to be done.

Honestly if I had hit my mom..I would have most likely been sent to a boarding school..or one of the Army schools, for being out of control. I can say that hitting my mother NEVER ever crossed my mind. I loved and respected her way too much. The woman gave birth to me..raised me..payed my way..and did so much for me. Why would I ever want to hurt a person who gave up everything for me? It makes me sad for anyones mother who has gotten hit by their kid or kids.
Spanking isnt the cure all of cures. Neither is time outs..taking toys away. Kids are learning everyday. I let my kids get away with enough that they arent soldiers in some military household. I let them know who is boss..they have fun..they get love..and they love me. They just know if they cant do what mommy wants them to do after a couple of warnings..they will get spanked..or time out..or something taken away. They know that I am the boss..and there is nothing wrong with that. They need to learn from me..and respect me and all of their elders. And I will teach them that.

Brandy

 

quote:
Originally posted by a1cbrandy:
Why would I ever want to hurt a person who gave up everything for me? It makes me sad for anyones mother who has gotten hit by their kid or kids.


Why would I ever want to hurt a child who thinks the world of me?

I wasn’t an out of control kid and I didn’t punch my mother in the face so I only did to her what she'd taught me to put an end to unacceptable behavior.

You’ve missed my whole point that hitting DOES teach hitting to be in the position of control and once you lose it, your options are limited. Sending a kid off to boarding school or the grave isn’t really solving the family problem.

 

Just because 2 out of 15-20 did that, doesn't mean everyone will. That is a low statistic.

I think the point is, some people do it, some don't. It works in some households, and in some it doesn't. I say Do what works for YOU and stick with it.

 

I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on this one. I am happy I can still raise my kids the way I see fit. I dont really care what others think of me or my kids. The only person I am going to have to answer to is God.

Brandy

 

quote:
one poster said that our society went to **** in a handbasket when schools were no longer allowed to use corporal punishment, and followed that sentence with one about children need to know who is IN CONTROL.

Umm, I said the first part about society going to *** in a handbasket, but I did NOT follow that with the sentence you stated. I said a lot of children don't respect authority these days....you are getting your posts mixed up.

Angela

 

quote:
They did when I was in school and IMO, the day we did away with that was the day our children and society started to go to he## in a handbag. Children these days don't respect their parents, their teachers or any authority figure. (not all of course) Children who are not taught boundaries at an early age will most likely be out of control.


Sorry I paraphrased, but to be clear, that's the quote I was referring to. What I take from that is that without spanking, there is no way to teach children respect for their elders or about boundaries and will be out of control. To me what you're saying is:

spanking = parental respect
no spanking = no parental respect

And I disagree that spanking is the only way to achieve that or to teach boundaries.

 

quote:
Originally posted by a1cbrandy:
It makes me sad for anyones mother who has gotten hit by their kid or kids.



I was sorry that I hit her, but I was also tired of getting swatted on the arm for stupid things. It's not like I hauled off and knocked her out, I just swatted back. I felt betrayed and mad when my parents swatted/spanked me. I was not an out of control kid that needed to be sent to boarding school. I was a fairly normal, very quiet and shy child.

I am sad for children that are getting spanked, especially infants and young toddlers that just don't have the capacity to understand yet.

 

No reason to be sad for my kiddos. They get spanked but they are also more loved then anyone will ever know. I think it is my job as a mother to teach them respect. Yes if a spanking is needed..then that will come. But I have also said many times..that isnt the only punishment I do. I hardly have to spank..because they know that it is a possibility. I truly believe that showing love..is teaching discipline. No matter what kind you feel is right for your family. You saying you feel sorry for my kids..would be like me saying I feel sorry for your kids..cause you dont spank them. Thats a little rude..and silly in my opinion. I think we are all great mothers here..we all want the best for our kids..and I honestly do NOT feel sorry for any of your kids...no matter what punishment..or no punishment you choose to give or not give. I just dont understand what the big deal is? It isnt like my kids have bruises..or cuts or marks of any kind (except lip stick kisses). My kids are healthy..loved and loving people. They know how to behave for the most part..and are still learning and testing boundaries for the other parts. But they arent being spanked for every little thing..or every single day. Yes I have spanked them..and yes they will get spanked in the future..but it is actually none of your business..just like it isnt my business how you discipline your kids.

Again..no reason to feel sorry for me kids. They have a great mom and dad..who will show them how the world really is..and teach them respect and Love for God. The most important things in the World.

Brandy

 

To be honest Brandy, I was exaggerating a little. While I do not personally spank and just don't see the point, I understand how you are using it. What really does bother me and makes me sad is spanking children who are too young to comprehend consequences, spanking that is abusive, and spanking willy-nilly for every little thing.

 

I understand Kelly. And I actually agree with you. I had this really good friend in Turkey..she would practically beat (yes beat) her almost 2 yr old daughter. I had to tell her I didnt like that...and she stopped..she said she didnt realize she was getting so bad. I dont like seeing kids treated bad either..but my kids are not treated badly at all. They have gotten spanked..but I can count on one hand how many times. I do use spanking as more of a threat then the actual action of it...they know what it is..and dont want it to happen...so they straighten up. If it works..its good enough for me. No matter what it is...(ok not locking kids in cages..or beating).

Brandy

 

quote:
What I take from that is that without spanking, there is no way to teach children respect for their elders or about boundaries and will be out of control. To me what you're saying is:

spanking = parental respect
no spanking = no parental respect

And I disagree that spanking is the only way to achieve that or to teach boundaries.


I never once said that I thought spanking was the complete answer. When I spank it is rare and a last resort. You are reading into what I said. I was making the point that kids these days don't repect authority. IMO, that has to do with a lot of things.

1. Parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear of someone turning them over to social services.
2. Kids as they get older, understand that and take full advantage of the fact that they supposedly have GROWNUP rights and don't have to listen to their parents if they don't want to. Same thing for their teachers. You cuss someone out, it's free speech. (give me a break)When I grew up, if you cussed someone out you got your mouth washed out with soap.
3. A lot of kids are raising themselves. There wasn't the need for two income families when I grew up. Your mom stayed home and so did everyone else's mom. If you got in trouble up the street, you got yelled out by the neighbor and your parents knew about it before you made it home. I'm not saying that single parent homes are bad. My parents divorced when I was 13. Families are so scattered now that you don't have help. When I grew up everyone in my extended family lived locally and helped out. That is rare now. I'd give my right arm to have a family member close by to help out every now and then.

If you read my follow up post I stated that no one on this board has a superior way of disciplining their kids nor do they have the authority or right to tell someone that what they do is the wrong way. We all do our best and everyone's situation and kids are different. I don't think your way is wrong for you and I don't think my way is wrong for me, nor do I care if anyone has a problem with it and neither should you. KWIM?

Angela

 

quote:
Originally posted by melissao:
I just wanted to remind everyone that personally directed comments are against the Twinstuff TOS:

quote:
Because of the diversity of our community, posted messages must also not belittle the beliefs of other users, either personally directed towards another user or in a general nature. We ask that you use consideration for the feelings, experiences, situations and even national, cultural, religious and ethnic differences of the other members of this community before posting comments that may be considered offensive to others who may not share your views.




Let's try to share our opinions without attacking others!

Thanks

Just a friendly reminder.

 

I think we should honestly put a closing to this thread. We have the opionions of just about every mother on this board. Should we spank? should we not spank? It's the parents decision weather most of us agree or disagree. Let's move on

 

YES PLEASE!! THIS IS GETTING STUPID! ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE OFFENDING AND TAKING OFFENCE TO OTHER'S BELIEFS.

You are all accountable for your own actions in your own home, so if you decide to reason with your 2 year old or spank him/her or put their toys in jail...FINE. This poll was not to debate the effectiveness or the moralality or political correctness of any of that. Please, lets move on. For some people, this is more of a religious belief, and some of the comments and accusations are going too far. Stop picking things apart and taking things litterally, I mean really!! If a kid says "My dad would KILL me if I came home late..." Does that mean he would really KILL him??? Come on now!!

Lets move on.....please!!

 

Hi ya'll I did not vote but I thought I'd put my two cents in.
Each child is different and will respond to things differently. When a child is WILLFULY defiant...they need immediate consequences to get them back in line. For my son time-outs do not work, neither does taking away toys ect. Spanking him on the bottom is the ONLY thing that has helped in those rare moments. HE has NEVER hit me or his sister as a result, he is very well behaved and loving. With Audrey on the other hand, Time-outs work great and I have not had to spank her. If it is done properly it is NOT abusive.

 

I do spank... Spanking is like a lot of other things... it can be abusive if you are angry and out of control. If you are calm, have a definite limit, only one or two spanks..on the BEHIND, not smacking a face or other part of the body, explain to your children why they are getting spanked, then it is very effective. IMO things like time-out can also be very abusive... the message can be sent that if your child misbehaves then they get put away from everyone else, and everything else...it isolates them and can send the message to them that if they are ever naughty then they cannot be around mom or dad or siblings... The last thing I want is for my child to think that they cannot be around me for any reason at all. if my kid gets into trouble I want them to know that, while they will be disciplined, they will also be welcomed with open, loving arms... Every spanking session in my house ends with hugs and kisses and reassurance of love.

A side note too, many parents who don't deal with discipline issues right away will get angry... this can lead to physical abuse, where they hit the kid too hard or too much, or verbal abuse where they just crush the kid with their harsh words... my advice...deal with the disrespect and disobediance immediately...not when you've told them 100 times to do something and you are now boiling over in anger. In that case, your anger is your own fault for not dealing with the issue at the time that it occurred... It sends confusing signals to a child as well..

 

Can I say I love hearing both sids of this issue. And the different disciplines we all use. I am sure we all use what works. I am also sure no one is being abusive.
I feel more educated on the subject hearing from each and every one of you.
I don't think this got out of hand and I commend everyone for that. All subjects of such debateable issues can quickly get out of hand and heated. I truely wasn't offended by anything.

I hope all of our kiddos are well behaved. And grow up to be respectful adults no matter which side of the fence you are on. It seems most of us on are on the fence, really not on either side.

Thank you.

 

quote:
Originally posted by mom_stacyX2:
I am also sure no one is being abusive.


I agree and I don’t think that was ever said or even implied from this side of the fence. Choosing not to spank isn’t because I believe it leaves physical marks. But I do think it can leave emotional marks and I don’t see how it applies to adult situations. And that’s the way I discipline, in a way that relates to making adult decisions and facing adult consequences.