Teen privileges

I'm just curious what privileges your teens have and who pays for them. We don't do allowances. Ethan (17 in a week or so) has a cell phone that he has to pay for. We're okay with that one; where we struggle is the whole transportation/insurance/gas issue. We bought him a car and agreed to pay his insurance and one tank of gas each week with the understanding that he would get a job and pay us back for the car and take over the insurance/gas. Almost a year later, he has a job (at American Eagle) but only gets about 10 hours each week, which is not enough to pay for his insurance, much less the car. On one hand we provide admission/transportation to his brothers when they want to go places so I don't think it would be right to leave it all on him. OTOH, the places they go are few and far between. Ethan has much more freedom and it seems to me should take on more of his own responsibilities. OTOH (how many hands can I have anyway?) he plays a sport each season (football, basketball, track) which takes up quite a bit of time and he's the leader of the youth praise team at church and a member of our regular praise team and those also take time, so I understand that it would be difficult to work more hours. Although he still has plenty of time to spend just hanging out, lol.

Right now we're thinking about selling his car (it only seats two so it's not practical for us to use) and buying him a beater. It would be basically a piece of junk, but it would run and be his free and clear with no obligation to repay us. But having done that we wouldn't pay his insurance or give him gas money anymore.

How do you all handle things like this? It may not be something as big as a car and insurance, but how do you handle other things that cost when they are old enough to earn their own money?

 

My boys are no where near this age, but I work with 1st year college students so I feel like I hear a lot of this in our office.

My parents agreed to pay for my car when I turned 16 as my birthday gift and they also covered insurance and sometimes gas. The deal while I was in high school included keeping my grades up and meeting my responsibilities (church youth group, babysitting, chores around the house etc.) while keeping the car in good working order (oil changes etc.) and NO tickets. I was very active in MANY activities in high school and quite honestly I think my mom was just happy she no longer had to drop me at school at 6:30am for marching band and be my ride everywhere. I was responsible for things like grocery shopping each week for the family (I got to keep whatever change was left from the bill so this really taught me how to shop cheap) and running errands for my parents when needed. I did have a cell phone at the time that I paid for with my babysitting money and I was responsible for any "entertainment" like movies with friends etc. My parents gave me a lot of freedom with the car, but I had to do things for them in return since my only jobs were babysitting.

Once I was in college the rules shifted slightly and with my second car I paid my parents back the $10,000 bill within a year while working 20 hours a week and attending classes full time. My parents helped me a lot in high school, but in college since I was able to work more, I paid for more. Although in college the deal was they covered my insurance as long as I was in school and I did have to show them my grades. But by the second year of school I was paying for everything myself, especially gas since I was driving 40 miles to see my boyfriend (now DH).

Many of the students I see have some sort of financial assistance from their parents, especially with cars and most of them have had their cars since high school. I feel like asking a student who is working 10 hours a week to cover insurance as well as gas and the total bill of the car is asking a lot on a very small salary, espcially if they are involved in a lot of activities that are just as, if not more important than working at this age. Most high school students need to focus on classes and extra curricular activities, especially if they will be attending college. If getting a beater car (as long as it is safe) is more economical, then do it. I would be concerned that at 17 working to pay for a car may start to replace other things (studying, sports, friends) and if getting a different car can deter some of that, get the other car.

 

Sean got a used car from us when he turned 16. He pays for all of us his gas, entertainment, and 'extras' and we pay his insurance. He's very responsible with his money (especially since he earns it) and so we feel this is the right balance for him. We also pay for his cell phone, which is minimal cost since it's tacked onto DH's plan.

 

We got Bradley a car (less than $2000) and we still carry him on our insurance. When Daniel turns 16 he'll get Jeff's old truck and we'll carry him on our insurance as well. Everything else they have to pay for, including cell phones.

 

My parents paid for my car, I pay for my phone plan and insurence which is in their name so its cheaper then if it was in my name.
I like having to pay for things it makes me more aware of how much things cost.

 

I think Codie's response is a good one! My parents did pay for my insurance. I paid for pretty much everything else. I had roommates in college (sisters) who each had their own very nice car, had all school, clothes, rent, everything paid for and also gas cards and credit cards that their folks paid for and plenty of monthly play money. They were nice enough girls, but so materialistic and unrealistic about life and would complain when they ran out of money. They didn't have jobs and played all the time. I was a little jealous, but at the same time I valued my education. I really appreciated it when my folks helped me out. I paid for about 1/2 my education, bought my own car, and worked for most of the time I was at the university. I don't think it's bad to help your son if he can't afford all of it. But making him step up, be responsible and cover a good portion of it will help him a lot more in the long run than playing a sport, IMO. Unless maybe he is good enough to get a scholarship out of it.

My oldest is 12, so we're a way off from that. But I think we'll do something similar. She can buy her own car, or share a family one. Already her spending money pretty much comes from babysitting. We still buy most of her clothes for instance, but if there's something special or expensive she needs to buy it herself.

 

My girls are younger but already talking about driving. I plan to cover the cost of their cars when the time comes. I don't want them to have to work while in high school. They'll still have to earn the right to use the car though just like they earn privileges now with chores and good grades. Money isn't the only way to pay for things. Luckily, I am financially able to cover the costs. If I wasn't then they'd have to get jobs and pay for their insurance and gas.

 

My oldest, now 23, had no interest in driving until she was 19 so by then she'd save some money, we gave a little to help with a down payment, but she makes all the payments on her own and has her own insurance since she's working close to full-time. She's also had her own cell phone plan since she was 17 as I was not paying for her to have one since her grades were not up to par! My second oldest, now 21, didn't get her license until she was 18 and by then also had saved some money, plus we gave her some for the down payment. She's continued in school so although she makes her own car payments we pay a bit more than half of her car insurance. She and I shared a cell phone service (that I paid for as long as the grades were good) when she was 16 and up until about 2 years ago when she wanted her own plan, which she pays for. Oh, both girls pay for all their gas and entertainment and clothes. We help occasionally if they get straped for cash or if there are any major car repairs, new tires, etc., but they've both done pretty well on their own.

Thankfully, our twins are 4 years away from driving, but they do share ONE cell phone with NO texting plan. When they are 13, next Feb., we'll add another phone and a texting plan at that time, IF their grades remain at B average or higher. Any less and the phones go bye-bye.

 

Sammi has her own job and pays for her phone and anything extra. For her car, we are going to get her a used one, and we will pay for the insurance, but she will need to pay for the gas. So far, this has worked out for us.