Telling kids the truth about Santa?

I've honestly never heard of anyone not doing Santa either. I grew up in the Catholic Church and have never associated the two Christmas was Christmas .. yes we went to Church, did the Advent Calender my school did the birth of Jesus/Nativity play every year in our Church....It was a big Celebration yes I understood it was also the day we choose to celebrate his birth but it never became an issue between the two and my parts never made it be one or the other...I guess I just don't see the problem, I don't even remember when I actually stopped believing but I know I never thought my parents were lying to me ever those were the best years of my life seriously and now we get to enjoy with our kids.

I know everyone has their beliefs but without stepping on anyone's toes I really don't get why people put so much emphasis on Christ/Jesus either. Why can't you just introduce a bit of everything and let them take out of it what they do. I can help it but I've always felt bad for the kids out there that don't get to celebrate their birthdays, holidays, etc. I just feel sad that the miss out on all the fun of being a kid.

Yes it is a great teaching tool and basis for teaching your kids lessons, compassion etc. but I firmly believe that it is good to have your own spiritual influence whatever that may be but it does not in no way dictate the kind of person you will be whether you choose to believe in Jesus, Santa, the Toothfairy, the Easter Bunny whatever...I guess to me it is a part of the magical, fun, uninhibited part of childhood where you can frankly just be a kid...

Again, sorry but this is just my opinion...

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Dec 9 2007, 10:29 AM) [snapback]526522[/snapback]
I agree here!

All the time I hear, "you can't tell me how to raise my children, and how to believe", but some of the same people feel it is OK to destroy another child's fantasy and belief system--and that is wrong.



that's the bit that upsets me to! its fine if ur children don't believe but please don't let them spoil it for our children

 

QUOTE
I guess I've always looked at the Santa thing (along with the Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and actual visits from St Nick) as one of those things kids enjoy, and knowing the "truth" about them is a little bit of a loss of innocence, because frankly the world isn't as magical and the world isn't as broad and wide anymore by the time you are learning the truth.
I think I just believe that kids have the rest of their lives to be cynical...let them believe in some magic while they still can.


HERE, HERE!!!!

I don't see the big deal. My dd goes to a christian school and learns all about Jesus and the true meaning behind Christmas and we have the nativity scene and all that. But I am not going to take away some magic in this dreary world...sorry. My kids know that mommy buys the presents and wraps them, but it's fun to get that one magical present under the Christmas tree that's from Santa. It's what I grew up doing and it's what my kids are going to do. I have no problem with what other parents believe or do in their home and I don't think others should judge how other parents raise their children. I do have a problem if some kid gets in my childrens faces and tell them Santa's not real because I think it's important sometimes to hold a little magic inside of us. (whether it's the truth or not)

 

Just so everyone knows..there can be magic and fun in Christmas without believing in santa. My kids have the greatest Christmas's ever...and they dont get one present from santa. They also do not MISS out on anything. We get presents..do the christmas tree, look at lights..even get pictures at the mall with santa. I do not want my kids to ruin anyone elses fun...and magic. SO mine do know not to tell anyone else that santa isnt real. However I need to make is perfectly clear...that I grew up with NO santa..and love Christmas ...and my kids will also.


Brandy

 

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ Dec 8 2007, 11:29 PM) [snapback]526435[/snapback]
What do you mean Santa isn't real?????

I still get presents from him every year! He and his spirit is very real in our house. Don't you know Santa doesn't give presents to people that don't believe in him?

We also celebrate Jesus's birthday, do advent calendars, advent wreaths, put jesus in his manger on his birthday, go to church, the kids learn all about jesus in religious ed classes every week, and we just all went to confession. The two don't inerfere with each other in our house.


Ditto!

 

QUOTE
Just so everyone knows..there can be magic and fun in Christmas without believing in santa. My kids have the greatest Christmas's ever...and they dont get one present from santa. They also do not MISS out on anything. We get presents..do the christmas tree, look at lights..even get pictures at the mall with santa. I do not want my kids to ruin anyone elses fun...and magic. SO mine do know not to tell anyone else that santa isnt real. However I need to make is perfectly clear...that I grew up with NO santa..and love Christmas ...and my kids will also.


Brandy

Brandy, you are free to do whatever you like with your family, and that is great! The problem comes when you allow your children to tell other children that there is no Santa. They can say they don't believe in Santa, but it is not their place to tell other children how to believe--that is the problem.

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Dec 8 2007, 05:30 PM) [snapback]526122[/snapback]
Personally, I would let them have the mystery and let them find out one by one and they will love holding that knowledge in while their brothers and sisters oooh and aahhhh about Santa.


I agree. The mystery is fun and you are only a kid once.

 

QUOTE
Brandy, you are free to do whatever you like with your family, and that is great! The problem comes when you allow your children to tell other children that there is no Santa. They can say they don't believe in Santa, but it is not their place to tell other children how to believe--that is the problem


I agree with Sharon very much so.

We do Santa, and my kids love it. They also know about Jesus and the reason for Christmas. Let your kids have fun... let them use those imaginations!! The innocence of a child is such a beautiful thing, why ruin that for them!

 

Santa does not bring everything here. He brings 1 gift & stockings so he does not get all the credit.

I would never tell my children young. It is a beautiful & magical thing in our house & I want them to enjoy it as long as possible. They have more than enough time to know the "truth".

I think telling my children when they are young would only be to benefit me not them. I don't care if they think Santa is cool and got them a great gift. I get joy from their happiness, not their gratefulness to me.

As for praying to Santa - I wouldn't worry about it. They won't really give up praying to God

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Dec 9 2007, 09:19 AM) [snapback]526616[/snapback]
Brandy, you are free to do whatever you like with your family, and that is great! The problem comes when you allow your children to tell other children that there is no Santa. They can say they don't believe in Santa, but it is not their place to tell other children how to believe--that is the problem.



Did you even read my reply? I said my kids do NOT tell others that santa isn't real.


Brandy

 

QUOTE(a1cbrandy @ Dec 9 2007, 02:57 PM) [snapback]526587[/snapback]
Just so everyone knows..there can be magic and fun in Christmas without believing in santa. My kids have the greatest Christmas's ever...and they dont get one present from santa. They also do not MISS out on anything. We get presents..do the christmas tree, look at lights..even get pictures at the mall with santa. I do not want my kids to ruin anyone elses fun...and magic. SO mine do know not to tell anyone else that santa isnt real. However I need to make is perfectly clear...that I grew up with NO santa..and love Christmas ...and my kids will also.
Brandy


Why do you get pictures with Santa?

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Dec 9 2007, 08:29 AM) [snapback]526522[/snapback]
When kids would ask about Santa, I would simply say that I didn't believe in him. There is a HUGE difference between saying you don't believe in something, and saying it isn't real. Both are truth, but one can be very hurtful where the other one isn't. All the time I hear, "you can't tell me how to raise my children, and how to believe", but some of the same people feel it is OK to destroy another child's fantasy and belief system--and that is wrong.

AGREED!!! You said exactly what I was going to post.

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Dec 9 2007, 07:35 AM) [snapback]526634[/snapback]
I would never tell my children young. It is a beautiful & magical thing in our house & I want them to enjoy it as long as possible. They have more than enough time to know the "truth".

I think telling my children when they are young would only be to benefit me not them. I don't care if they think Santa is cool and got them a great gift. I get joy from their happiness, not their gratefulness to me.


I agree! I LOVE watching Anthony this year because he is just starting to believe in Santa. It is as much fun for ME as it is for him.

 

I never said that you cant believe in Jesus and do the Santa thing. I just said that WE dont.

QUOTE(kma13 @ Dec 8 2007, 06:48 PM) [snapback]526311[/snapback]
As for asking your children not to lie... would you prefer that those children who don't believe in Jesus tell your children there is no Jesus? Or would you rather these children just simply say, different people believe different things...? Many people don't believe in the Judeo-Christian god and yet would not ridicule your beliefs or let there children do so.... just food for thought.


If someone told my child that there was no Jesus, they would come home and ask me and I would reassure them that there is and that that child just doesnt believe in him. The same way you could with your child in that Santa situation.


QUOTE(twindependent @ Dec 8 2007, 07:37 PM) [snapback]526357[/snapback]
Wow, this is a great thread. I honestly never knew that some people believe that Santa can interfere with kids' ideas about Jesus, like in the poem in the PP.
I grew up with a strong sense of who Jesus is and who Santa is, and for some reason the two never really met in my mind. I never thought lighting the advent wreath on our dining room table was any more or less magical than going to meet Santa at the store. To me all of our traditions were just so special..
I guess I've always looked at the Santa thing (along with the Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and actual visits from St Nick) as one of those things kids enjoy, and knowing the "truth" about them is a little bit of a loss of innocence, because frankly the world isn't as magical and the world isn't as broad and wide anymore by the time you are learning the truth.
I think I just believe that kids have the rest of their lives to be cynical...let them believe in some magic while they still can.


To me believing in a lie, is not magical... its a set up for disappointment, like Susana said.


QUOTE(sharongl @ Dec 9 2007, 05:29 AM) [snapback]526522[/snapback]
All the time I hear, "you can't tell me how to raise my children, and how to believe", but some of the same people feel it is OK to destroy another child's fantasy and belief system--and that is wrong.


Nobody in this thread has said anything about how YOU should raise YOUR kids, all everyone has done is shared how they raise their kids and what they believe. You can tell your kids whatever you want, just dont expect MY KIDS to lie, IF ASKED.

QUOTE(Shadyfeline @ Dec 9 2007, 05:40 AM) [snapback]526532[/snapback]
I know everyone has their beliefs but without stepping on anyone's toes I really don't get why people put so much emphasis on Christ/Jesus either. Why can't you just introduce a bit of everything and let them take out of it what they do. I can help it but I've always felt bad for the kids out there that don't get to celebrate their birthdays, holidays, etc. I just feel sad that the miss out on all the fun of being a kid.


Because I have my beliefs that I know to be truth and I am accountable for my child to be brought up in the way that I believe is right. I am not going to introduce my children to things that we believe are wrong.


Also, I know people who get their pictures taken with Santa who dont do "the Santa thing" and its just for fun... because like it or not, Santa is going to be around during the holidays. You can have your picture taken with him KNOWING that he is not really someone who brings you presents.

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Dec 9 2007, 10:14 AM) [snapback]526664[/snapback]
Why do you get pictures with Santa?



Because my kids like the santa GAME. They know he isnt real..but they still like him. I have pictures with me with santa while I was growing up..and still didnt get anything from him on Christmas. I knew he wasn't real..but the true meaning of Christmas was and is always with me.

I dont get stressed out because of presents..or money..I dont feel nervous about my kids hearing someone else say there isnt a santa. And I dont want them to think one day..OK mom told me santa was real..and Jesus was real. Maybe since santa isnt real..then Jesus isnt real either.

Jesus is the only one who can see us when we are sleeping, knows when we have been bad or good..and can give us the blessings of our heart. Not some guy named santa...

My kids will know the truth..because like Heather..I believe we will ALL answer to God about what we teach our children..what they learn through us..and about us. We go get our picture with santa..but they know he is a man..in a costume..and its just fun..but not real.


Brandy

 

QUOTE(HeyThere @ Dec 9 2007, 10:32 AM) [snapback]526684[/snapback]
I never said that you cant believe in Jesus and do the Santa thing. I just said that WE dont.
If someone told my child that there was no Jesus, they would come home and ask me and I would reassure them that there is and that that child just doesnt believe in him. The same way you could with your child in that Santa situation.
To me believing in a lie, is not magical... its a set up for disappointment, like Susana said.
Nobody in this thread has said anything about how YOU should raise YOUR kids, all everyone has done is shared how they raise their kids and what they believe. You can tell your kids whatever you want, just dont expect MY KIDS to lie, IF ASKED.
Because I have my beliefs that I know to be truth and I am accountable for my child to be brought up in the way that I believe is right. I am not going to introduce my children to things that we believe are wrong.
Also, I know people who get their pictures taken with Santa who dont do "the Santa thing" and its just for fun... because like it or not, Santa is going to be around during the holidays. You can have your picture taken with him KNOWING that he is not really someone who brings you presents.



I agree with everything Heather says.

Brandy

 

QUOTE
Because I have my beliefs that I know to be truth and I am accountable for my child to be brought up in the way that I believe is right. I am not going to introduce my children to things that we believe are wrong.



Believing in Santa is not "Wrong" ... sorry, that's just ridiculous! What is so "wrong" about Santa Claus?? Come on ...it's a freakin story!

 

QUOTE(Shadyfeline @ Dec 9 2007, 10:40 AM) [snapback]526690[/snapback]
Believing in Santa is not "Wrong" ... sorry, that's just ridiculous! What is so "wrong" about Santa Claus?? Come on ...it's a freakin story!



Because santa takes the place of God/Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can see us when we are sleeping..knows when we are bad or good..and gives us the blessings of this world and heaven. For my family..to believe in a santa would be lying to my kids. I do not think people are "wrong" in letting their children believe in santa. Most my friends..and family do. However for my house..for my kids..for my grandkids..Jesus is the one we will concentrate on.


Brandy

 

QUOTE
Because santa takes the place of God/Jesus


He absolutely does not...If you never explain the difference then I can see why they may think he takes the place of Jesus and be confused. It is two seperate entities one definately should not overshadow the other especially if God/Jesus really is "all knowing" in what you believe. How does Santa have anything at all to do with God or Jesus, really.

 

If another child told my child that Santa wasn't real, I would tell them that the reason they didn't believe was because they were probably naughty and Santa never brought them gifts, lol.

I LOVE Santa! My kids love Santa! I will encourage them to believe as long as I can. They are young and innocent, and believing is so much fun. Anticipating Christmas morning and what Santa will bring is just pure magic. I don't care what others believe. All I care is what my children believe (and they ABSOLUTELY know the real reason for Christmas! Santa is just an added bonus!). I truly hope that their belief in Santa will continue for a while and that they find out on their own terms, not by someone else's rude children. Spoiling someone else's magic is just wrong. If my children were educated early on about procreation, you you be happy if my child told your child how babies were made before you got a chance to explain it? It's kind of along the same lines. There are certain things children should be taught to keep to themselves. Santa and the magic of Christmas is just one of those.

 

QUOTE(Shadyfeline @ Dec 9 2007, 04:40 PM) [snapback]526690[/snapback]
Believing in Santa is not "Wrong" ... sorry, that's just ridiculous! What is so "wrong" about Santa Claus?? Come on ...it's a freakin story!


Nothing is wrong with the story of santa clause...but you don't really believe in him. If you did you wouldn't put presents out...you'd put out a plate of cookies and wait with your kids to see if a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and brings you gifts!! No adult "believes" in santa...please. But many do teach their kids to believe in santa....the same way they teach their kids to believe in Jesus. It makes me wonder then how many "christian" parents believe in Jesus any more than they believe in Santa. The story of santa is a great story... it's a wonderful, magical concept...the fundamental difference here is that there are some of us parents who introduce it to our kids for what it really is...a story...and not the truth. The difference for me is that I do genuinely believe in Jesus...He's not a story to me. So I can't treat the issues the same. And I have no problem at all with kids who might come up to my kids and tell them that Jesus isn't real. Sooner or later my kids will run into people who don't believe..that's something they are going to have to understand and learn how to handle. Again... I do tell my kids NOT to talk about it with other kids. HOWEVER... I will never tell my kids to say something that they understand as a lie. That would be very hypocritical of me. I don't believe that parents who are introducing santa as "truth" are being horrible, wicked people. I don't think it's a horrible thing to do. I simply choose not to do it. I think it's unnecessary and can cause confusion and disappointment later on in life when the child is old enough to understand. Again I grew up with parents who approached it much the same way...so did dh. And most of my friends do not do santa claus either. Parents or grandparents might sign "santa" on a present in fun...but the kids all know it's just a story. I still remember my cousin whose parents did the santa thing... she discovered he wasn't real from many classmates her own age (and they were kids who had been taught that he was real,the same as her...they just "figured" it out a lot sooner.) She was really devestated. And at the same time her parents were going through a really nasty divorce. I just can't imagine my kids' world being so rocked, and then to throw that on top of it. Talk about having to "grow up" in a hurry. Just a little story to illustrate part of why I don't think it's necessary to encourage believe in santa. Christmas is still my kids' favorite holiday...they have so much fun. And it has very little to do with santa. But santa or no santa I think the struggle still remains on focusing the holiday on giving rather than receiving. And for any kid that's the hardest lesson to learn, at an age when it's so natural to focus on what people give you.

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Dec 9 2007, 10:55 AM) [snapback]526715[/snapback]
Nothing is wrong with the story of santa clause...but you don't really believe in him. If you did you wouldn't put presents out...you'd put out a plate of cookies and wait with your kids to see if a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and brings you gifts!! No adult "believes" in santa...please. But many do teach their kids to believe in santa....the same way they teach their kids to believe in Jesus. It makes me wonder then how many "christian" parents believe in Jesus any more than they believe in Santa. The story of santa is a great story... it's a wonderful, magical concept...the fundamental difference here is that there are some of us parents who introduce it to our kids for what it really is...a story...and not the truth. The difference for me is that I do genuinely believe in Jesus...He's not a story to me. So I can't treat the issues the same. And I have no problem at all with kids who might come up to my kids and tell them that Jesus isn't real. Sooner or later my kids will run into people who don't believe..that's something they are going to have to understand and learn how to handle. Again... I do tell my kids NOT to talk about it with other kids. HOWEVER... I will never tell my kids to say something that they understand as a lie. That would be very hypocritical of me. I don't believe that parents who are introducing santa as "truth" are being horrible, wicked people. I don't think it's a horrible thing to do. I simply choose not to do it. I think it's unnecessary and can cause confusion and disappointment later on in life when the child is old enough to understand. Again I grew up with parents who approached it much the same way...so did dh. And most of my friends do not do santa claus either. Parents or grandparents might sign "santa" on a present in fun...but the kids all know it's just a story. I still remember my cousin whose parents did the santa thing... she discovered he wasn't real from many classmates her own age (and they were kids who had been taught that he was real,the same as her...they just "figured" it out a lot sooner.) She was really devestated. And at the same time her parents were going through a really nasty divorce. I just can't imagine my kids' world being so rocked, and then to throw that on top of it. Talk about having to "grow up" in a hurry. Just a little story to illustrate part of why I don't think it's necessary to encourage believe in santa. Christmas is still my kids' favorite holiday...they have so much fun. And it has very little to do with santa. But santa or no santa I think the struggle still remains on focusing the holiday on giving rather than receiving. And for any kid that's the hardest lesson to learn, at an age when it's so natural to focus on what people give you.


SUSANNA...wonderful post. I agree with you 100%.

Brandy

 

Here's a link to something written by James Dobson - not sure if it's the one PP had in mind.
Focus on the Family's answer to discussing Santa ( a decidedly Christian perspective!)

 

QUOTE(PumpkinPies @ Dec 9 2007, 11:17 AM) [snapback]526738[/snapback]
Here's a link to something written by James Dobson - not sure if it's the one PP had in mind.
Focus on the Family's answer to discussing Santa ( a decidedly Christian perspective!)


I am not a fan of James Dobson, but he has done a beautiful job with this essay. This is more or less what I told my boys when they figured it out, that Santa represents the spirit of giving and love at the holidays. He goes on to discuss religious aspects that do not apply in my case, but I was very pleasantly surprised by this essay. Lovely way to handle it.

 

Hope I can chime in here with a totally different perspective. I am a Buddhist. My children will be offered this path to follow and will be welcome to choose any other path they wish to while they get older. That being said we will put up a Xmas tree, have gifts under it, eat a special Xmas meal and go along with the festive theme. Why? Because it's fun, it's all around us, there's no harm in it that I can think of. We just skip any religious mention. I know that some might find that offensive and I apologise but that's how it is.
When the children are old enough they will be told that this is a holiday where many people celebrate the birth of Jesus that is a most respected spiritual figure who said many very important and wise things which we respect although we are not Christian. Also, they will be told that Xmas rituals preceed his birth and were incorporated by Christianity. The tree, the gifts, the Santa figure etc preceed the birth of Jesus. They are rituals the human soul has created to fill a need for sharing, renewal etc. Sorry but that's just a fact.
If the girls are attracted to the Santa myth when they are older I can go along with that because I believe children need magic in their souls. Magic is not lying. It's a way of instiling hope and joy into someones soul. When they are old enough to ask questions I can be truthful as they lead me to be.
I feel it is very important to teach children (and grown ups if we could) to respect others beliefs and this is just one more way to practice it. I would not dare to tell anyone that what they belive is not true and my children will hopefully know not to that either. Given that we live in a strongly Christian orthodox country there are many instances were I have to say I don't believe in something without offending those who do. I truly think it should be that short and simple. Whether the discussion is Jesus, Santa or any other belief I would hope my children will be able to say "we don't believe in that" and leave it at that. It's just polite to do so. Just as I would be very distressed if someone tried to persuade my children that Jesus is the way I find it just as distressing if they were to try to persuate someone that he isn't. To each his own. All spiritual paths are a quest for truth and love. Regardless of our differences I feel we should focus on what we have in common.

 

QUOTE(axpan @ Dec 9 2007, 11:43 AM) [snapback]526764[/snapback]
Hope I can chime in here with a totally different perspective. I am a Buddhist. My children will be offered this path to follow and will be welcome to choose any other path they wish to while they get older. That being said we will put up a Xmas tree, have gifts under it, eat a special Xmas meal and go along with the festive theme. Why? Because it's fun, it's all around us, there's no harm in it that I can think of. We just skip any religious mention. I know that some might find that offensive and I apologise but that's how it is.
When the children are old enough they will be told that this is a holiday where many people celebrate the birth of Jesus that is a most respected spiritual figure who said many very important and wise things which we respect although we are not Christian. Also, they will be told that Xmas rituals preceed his birth and were incorporated by Christianity. The tree, the gifts, the Santa figure etc preceed the birth of Jesus. They are rituals the human soul has created to fill a need for sharing, renewal etc. Sorry but that's just a fact.
If the girls are attracted to the Santa myth when they are older I can go along with that because I believe children need magic in their souls. Magic is not lying. It's a way of instiling hope and joy into someones soul. When they are old enough to ask questions I can be truthful as they lead me to be.
I feel it is very important to teach children (and grown ups if we could) to respect others beliefs and this is just one more way to practice it. I would not dare to tell anyone that what they belive is not true and my children will hopefully know not to that either. Given that we live in a strongly Christian orthodox country there are many instances were I have to say I don't believe in something without offending those who do. I truly think it should be that short and simple. Whether the discussion is Jesus, Santa or any other belief I would hope my children will be able to say "we don't believe in that" and leave it at that. It's just polite to do so. Just as I would be very distressed if someone tried to persuade my children that Jesus is the way I find it just as distressing if they were to try to persuate someone that he isn't. To each his own. All spiritual paths are a quest for truth and love. Regardless of our differences I feel we should focus on what we have in common.


:bow2: :bow2: :bow2:
That is exactly how I plan to handle explaining the religious aspect of Christmas when mine are old enough.

 

We celebrate Christmas as baby Jesus' birthday. We read stories both of the birth of Christ and Twas the Night before Christmas.
DH and I have never gone out of our way to encourage or discourage Santa per say. My parents and his mom have talked to them about Santa coming, and we have not said yea or nay otherwise. They all know what Santa looks like, and that is fine with us. We have not taken the kids to have pics done at the mall because they are still afraid of the whole thing there.

But for our gifts we just put the child's name, we do not put who it is from, us or Santa (except when it comes from outside the house.) That way they just got the gifts at Christmas and there is no conflict.

I really do think that M&T at least believe in Santa and that he comes for Christmas, which is also Baby Jesus' birthday and we all celebrate because Baby Jesus is a special present from God.
I don't usually get all involved with even kind of relgious decusions, but I wanted to let you know what we do with our gift tags.

 

QUOTE(axpan @ Dec 9 2007, 11:43 AM) [snapback]526764[/snapback]
Hope I can chime in here with a totally different perspective. I am a Buddhist. My children will be offered this path to follow and will be welcome to choose any other path they wish to while they get older. That being said we will put up a Xmas tree, have gifts under it, eat a special Xmas meal and go along with the festive theme. Why? Because it's fun, it's all around us, there's no harm in it that I can think of. We just skip any religious mention. I know that some might find that offensive and I apologise but that's how it is.
When the children are old enough they will be told that this is a holiday where many people celebrate the birth of Jesus that is a most respected spiritual figure who said many very important and wise things which we respect although we are not Christian. Also, they will be told that Xmas rituals preceed his birth and were incorporated by Christianity. The tree, the gifts, the Santa figure etc preceed the birth of Jesus. They are rituals the human soul has created to fill a need for sharing, renewal etc. Sorry but that's just a fact.
If the girls are attracted to the Santa myth when they are older I can go along with that because I believe children need magic in their souls. Magic is not lying. It's a way of instiling hope and joy into someones soul. When they are old enough to ask questions I can be truthful as they lead me to be.
I feel it is very important to teach children (and grown ups if we could) to respect others beliefs and this is just one more way to practice it. I would not dare to tell anyone that what they belive is not true and my children will hopefully know not to that either. Given that we live in a strongly Christian orthodox country there are many instances were I have to say I don't believe in something without offending those who do. I truly think it should be that short and simple. Whether the discussion is Jesus, Santa or any other belief I would hope my children will be able to say "we don't believe in that" and leave it at that. It's just polite to do so. Just as I would be very distressed if someone tried to persuade my children that Jesus is the way I find it just as distressing if they were to try to persuate someone that he isn't. To each his own. All spiritual paths are a quest for truth and love. Regardless of our differences I feel we should focus on what we have in common.


This is great for your family. But not for mine. My family, kids will believe Jesus is the ULTIMATE reason for the season. The only HOPE in this world. I know you and I will disagree on this..because of your beliefs. But my kids need to know the truth for ours.

I know its different for everyone..but using Xmas to talk about Christmas is really a pet peeve of mine. I am up to date on all the "knowledge" of what X in Xmas means...but it still leaves out the reason for the season. CHRIST.

Brandy

 

Brandy I hope I have not offended you in any way.

 

QUOTE(axpan @ Dec 9 2007, 01:21 PM) [snapback]526817[/snapback]
Brandy I hope I have not offended you in any way.



NO not at all. Sorry if I came off that way. HUGS

Brandy

 

QUOTE
Hope I can chime in here with a totally different perspective. I am a Buddhist. My children will be offered this path to follow and will be welcome to choose any other path they wish to while they get older. That being said we will put up a Xmas tree, have gifts under it, eat a special Xmas meal and go along with the festive theme. Why? Because it's fun, it's all around us, there's no harm in it that I can think of. We just skip any religious mention. I know that some might find that offensive and I apologise but that's how it is.
When the children are old enough they will be told that this is a holiday where many people celebrate the birth of Jesus that is a most respected spiritual figure who said many very important and wise things which we respect although we are not Christian. Also, they will be told that Xmas rituals preceded his birth and were incorporated by Christianity. The tree, the gifts, the Santa figure etc preceded the birth of Jesus. They are rituals the human soul has created to fill a need for sharing, renewal etc. Sorry but that's just a fact.
If the girls are attracted to the Santa myth when they are older I can go along with that because I believe children need magic in their souls. Magic is not lying. It's a way of instilling hope and joy into someones soul. When they are old enough to ask questions I can be truthful as they lead me to be.
I feel it is very important to teach children (and grown ups if we could) to respect others beliefs and this is just one more way to practice it. I would not dare to tell anyone that what they believe is not true and my children will hopefully know not to that either. Given that we live in a strongly Christian orthodox country there are many instances were I have to say I don't believe in something without offending those who do. I truly think it should be that short and simple. Whether the discussion is Jesus, Santa or any other belief I would hope my children will be able to say "we don't believe in that" and
leave it at that. It's just polite to do so. Just as I would be very distressed if someone tried to persuade my children that Jesus is the way I find it just as distressing if they were to try to persuade someone that he isn't. To each his own. All spiritual paths are a quest for truth and love. Regardless of our differences I feel we should focus on what we have in common.


I very much appreciated this response. Thank you for that! I had so much fun as a kid playing the Santa game and continued to play along even after I "got it" because it is fun. I've always played it a little tongue-in-cheek just like the easter bunny and the tooth fairy. My older kids have done the same thing. We play the game, the light bulbs go on for them around 9 or 10 years old (if not sooner), but they still love to play and we'll continue to do so even up until they have their own kids! Now that the girls are here, both of my teenagers are SUPER EXCITED to help "play Santa". They love the magic of that feeling of generosity and giving...which is what the Santa myth is all about. So, yes, I would be appalled if one of my kids ever told another kid that there is no Santa. That is just mean. That's like explaining how a magic trick is done.

I understand how some Christians might find it distracting: The story about the generous spirit of a wonderful man that lived a long time ago and how he continues to bring happiness to people around the world. If that is a problem for you then don't participate in the game. Just the same, can't you see how the millions of non-Christians & non-theists in the world might think the same thing about Jesus? Would you want all of their children telling your kids that they're being lied to??

For thousands of years, this celebration has been a time of renewal and reflection. If my kids take any of my traditions of the season into their adulthoods, I hope it will be that.

 

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I don't usually get all involved with even kind of relgious decusions, but I wanted to let you know what we do with our gift tags.
I don't even do tags, the stockings are wrapped in a certain kind of paper so the children know anything under the tree in that paper is for them.

 

QUOTE(Shadyfeline @ Dec 9 2007, 08:40 AM) [snapback]526690[/snapback]
Believing in Santa is not "Wrong" ... sorry, that's just ridiculous! What is so "wrong" about Santa Claus?? Come on ...it's a freakin story!


If you read my post, I was referring to something specific, not to Santa. I dont think "Santa" is wrong, I think lying to MY children to make them believe in something that isnt real is wrong FOR ME.


QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Dec 9 2007, 08:55 AM) [snapback]526715[/snapback]
Nothing is wrong with the story of santa clause...but you don't really believe in him. If you did you wouldn't put presents out...you'd put out a plate of cookies and wait with your kids to see if a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and brings you gifts!! No adult "believes" in santa...please. But many do teach their kids to believe in santa....the same way they teach their kids to believe in Jesus. It makes me wonder then how many "christian" parents believe in Jesus any more than they believe in Santa. The story of santa is a great story... it's a wonderful, magical concept...the fundamental difference here is that there are some of us parents who introduce it to our kids for what it really is...a story...and not the truth. The difference for me is that I do genuinely believe in Jesus...He's not a story to me. So I can't treat the issues the same. And I have no problem at all with kids who might come up to my kids and tell them that Jesus isn't real. Sooner or later my kids will run into people who don't believe..that's something they are going to have to understand and learn how to handle. Again... I do tell my kids NOT to talk about it with other kids. HOWEVER... I will never tell my kids to say something that they understand as a lie. That would be very hypocritical of me. I don't believe that parents who are introducing santa as "truth" are being horrible, wicked people. I don't think it's a horrible thing to do. I simply choose not to do it. I think it's unnecessary and can cause confusion and disappointment later on in life when the child is old enough to understand. Again I grew up with parents who approached it much the same way...so did dh. And most of my friends do not do santa claus either. Parents or grandparents might sign "santa" on a present in fun...but the kids all know it's just a story. I still remember my cousin whose parents did the santa thing... she discovered he wasn't real from many classmates her own age (and they were kids who had been taught that he was real,the same as her...they just "figured" it out a lot sooner.) She was really devestated. And at the same time her parents were going through a really nasty divorce. I just can't imagine my kids' world being so rocked, and then to throw that on top of it. Talk about having to "grow up" in a hurry. Just a little story to illustrate part of why I don't think it's necessary to encourage believe in santa. Christmas is still my kids' favorite holiday...they have so much fun. And it has very little to do with santa. But santa or no santa I think the struggle still remains on focusing the holiday on giving rather than receiving. And for any kid that's the hardest lesson to learn, at an age when it's so natural to focus on what people give you.


Thanks Susanna, very nice post.

 

QUOTE(kma13 @ Dec 9 2007, 02:48 AM) [snapback]526311[/snapback]
As for asking your children not to lie... would you prefer that those children who don't believe in Jesus tell your children there is no Jesus? Or would you rather these children just simply say, different people believe different things...? Many people don't believe in the Judeo-Christian god and yet would not ridicule your beliefs or let there children do so.... just food for thought.



Many kids have said to my kids "I dont believe in Jesus" and then when they come home I am prepared to answer all questions. I will not tell my kids they HAVE to tell other kids they believe in Santa.... that is if the day comes they finally believe me LOL!!

 

QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Dec 9 2007, 04:28 AM) [snapback]526399[/snapback]
I don't think it is really about a belief in Santa interfering in a belief in Jesus, but rather where the focus of the holiday has gone. I'm reminded of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" where everything was being commercialized and Charlie Brown didn't even know what Christmas was really about. I find it strange that stores can be decked out in Christmas trees and Santas, yet the employees aren't even allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore.

I have no problem with my kids believing in Santa, but I do want to make sure that Christ is always the center of our Christmas celebration. I think that this is what the original poster was concerned with. Especially when her child said she was going to start praying to Santa. Am I right, 7Ms? I just want to let you know that I think you did the right thing. Make-believe is fine unless it starts to come before Christ.

If they "choose not be believe you" then I think you should just continue to make Christ the focus but not push the issue of Santa. If they ask about it, tell them the truth. After all, you've already told them once. If you just start to downplay Santa more that you ever have, they may just start to lose interest. Maybe you should also make sure to write "Mommy and Daddy" in the "from" section of the gift tags. Eventually they will outgrow it. In the meantime, I think us Christian parents have to work extra hard during Christmas to make sure our kids aren't being confused.


thanks... Yes that is right. We really never said this or that about Santa, my kids picked it up along the way from somewhere else. I do stockings and everything but never say SANTA CAME LAST NIGHT!! Anyway as soon as my 5yo thought she could quit praying to God and start praying to Santa is when the problem started.

Something I never mentioned is that I also saw cousins go through really hard times finding out Santa wasnt real, me on the other hand I never had that problem because I never belived. And believe me I still had MAGICAL Christmases!! I dont ever want to see my children's tears because they find out Santa isnt real and it is a huge disappointment. They also know the Easter Bunny isnt real but think the Tooth Fairy is????? I dont know. But the Santa thing is WAY BIGGER than those other two.

Thanks for all the great input and Debate on the topic... great insight from everyone.