My son has Asperger's, so he's pretty much a child genius academically. However, he HATES to write. He's 1st grade, and just won't do it. He will read 24hrs a day if I let him, but put a pencil in his hand, and he goes into meltdown. I've tried everything to get him to write. Taking things away, bribing with simple things, nothing was working. Well, he's been begging for a Nintendo DS, and I was very against it. While at the store yesterday, I saw that there are actually quite a few educational games for it, so I picked one up. It is sitting on top of my refridgerator until he can fully write a legible note. Ever since I brought it home, he started writing letters, 20 times per letter (10 upper and 10 lower). I found that he CAN write... and he CAN do it correctly. He just needed the motivation. I just HATE that the motivation is a Nintendo!! I can see myself using more games as bribes to write more and more. I just wish I could get him to do this without feeling guilty for bribing. Does anyone else bribe? How do you get your kids to do the *hated* subjects? Thanks!
Sure Do! and we take those things away when they don't do their "chores" and such! It is just like getting a bonus at your job. nothing wrong with it at all! My older boys are 17 & 16 last night they argued over whos turn it was to mow the lawn...I got tired of hearing it so I did it...they have NO TV for the entire week now! LOL BTW did you know that the Nintendo will help him develop his small muscles in his hands that he needs to have better hand writing??? Yep...our Kindergarten teacher asked to allow my child to play so his hands would be stronger! Use that game system as a teaching tool. Allow him to use it when he completes his work.
Once you have determined he has "earned" his Nintendo, make sure he realizes he has to earn the right to use it as well. If writing without whining about it is the payment, then so be it. DD knows she doesn't get computer time until she is done her school work. I can't see how it is any different other than she already had the computer. Now that you have the system, I wouldn't suggest bribing him with games to do the work, just the time to play. It would be really expensive if he manages to crank out a lot of stuff just to earn games. Not to mention at some point he will have to learn to do it "because mommy said so" and not to earn stuff. If you want him to earn games (although I would just do them for birthday/christmas gifts) make up something completely different than his normal school work, something he would have to be willing to do above and beyond his normal work, and only allowed to work on it once his daily work is done. JMHO
Thanks! Writing is the only subject that is a hassle. The rest of it is such a breeze. We do the marble thing for chores, so I can see him wanting a new game with that. I just may have to add on some extra marbles if he does some extra writing though Thank you! I don't feel as guilty now
Marble thing? I am trying to figure out a good beginner chore system for my DD. Could you explain what you do?
Sure! My DS also has ADHD, so this is just an incentive to "remember" to do things. I have a list of things to do, and a list of things not to do (or do that is unacceptable). Every item on the list is weighed. For example, I have make your bed, and he gets 1 marble in the jar. Taking the trash out to the bins is 2 marbles. However, if he leaves a book in the car, he gets a marble taken away. I change things out on the list when he masters a task (putting his shoes away) or starts having an issue with something (leaving books in the car, not putting his dinner plate in the sink, etc). Also, he does not get any marbles if I have to remind him to do something on the list. After he gets 30 marbles, we give him $20. $10 goes into savings, the other $10 he gets to spend it on whatever he wants. Some weeks he ends up in the negetive, others he is racking up the dough. Usually if there is something that he really wants, he'll stay on top of the list better.
I will say that the last time he got $10, he spent it all on school supplies for kids in Honduras. He was "smart shopping", as in finding the cheapest pencils and sharpeners so he could buy more of them. It was a great thing to watch, and he had so much pride when he gave me his bag after paying for them.
Dang it erased my message. I agree with the other posts and hold my daughters nintendo hostage on a regular basis but a question if I may...You mentioned that your son has aspergers, as does my daughter, has he been tested for or does he show signs of dysgraphia? My daughter does and that really sticks out in my mind with your post. Dysgraphia is a learning disability often found in kids with aspergers that affects handwriting and written expression, organization and the like. In severe cases writing can actually be painful but the child doesn't voice it as being such or correlate it as such because it has always been that way. Severity and symptoms can range from one child to the next within certain catagories. If you would like more info just pm and let me know and I can pull up some of the websites with symptoms, suggestions and recommendations. And no in four years of public school no one recognized it in my daughter, they just knew she would avoid writing if possible. Oh, and we have the ADHD thing going here to and the marbles sound like a great idea!
Thanks for sharing your marble jar idea, kcampbell! I like the physical presence of the marbles building in the jar. l wouldn't have thought of taking away marbles for bad behavior, but that seems like a good idea.
