Things I wish I knew about kindergarten but no one ever told me...

Okay, I admit to being a total noob!
My duo are my first and last, so I have no experience with sending a child off to kindergarten and the bigger grades. What are things I should prepare them for?
Their preschool is teaching them writing (we have to work on improving handwriting), their address, phone number (also being reinforced at home), they can do the crafty stuff that kids do at their age.
My daughter has social anxiety disorder, so we do work on answering questions, initiating conversations, etc. with her. My son runs on the shy side, so he gets the benefit of the role plays we do with her.
Our kindergarten will be full day, so they know they will be in school full day, every day as opposed for half time/3 days a week.

 

If you are sending them to public school, be prepared for there to be a lot of emphasis on school citizenship and rule following. Also, be prepared for them not to get it and that is OK, even if it makes the teacher "mad". I went through a lot with my oldest in first on following rules (his first year in public school) and got a lot of crap from his teacher about it. This year, I was told several times by the assistant principal, the school psych and his new teacher that his behavior was more than appropriate for his age level and it took until 3rd for them really to mature into following the rules consistently. Academics will come at the pace that the school sets so have no worry about that. Social is much harder. You may want to start coaching your daughter for different situations, now. Also, see if you can tour the school. It may help ease both of their transition, especially if they have already seen some of the classrooms and met some of the people.

 

Kindergarten is very much about the social. Handwriting wise I wouldn't worry because the blasted public schools all use a different ugly as hell form of the alphabet! I will be so glad next year when we start changing how they write their As back. To me it's illegible in this form (c with a straight line to make a tale instead of the o with a leg)

 

One big adjustment for my kids this year in Kindergarten is that they are so tired by the end of the week. We bumped their bed-time earlier in the evening and they don't really get up earlier in the morning than from daycare, but I think there is so much going on during the day at school and they are tired. My son still struggles with being tired and whiny by the end of the week. I also agree that Kindergarten is more about the social skills and learning how to be in a classroom and around a large group of kids.

 

I would also worry about the academics. What we've been told is that next year we are going to Common Core Standards (along with 47 other states) and that our standards are changing. I work in a district that is one of the top in the state and we're going to have to bump everything at least 1 grade level and in some places 2 grade levels. The example that we've been given of things that are changing is that kindergarten will have to be able to count to 100 instead of 20. Kindergarten will also have a standard of fluent reading by the end of the school year.

With my kids, they were ahead academically going into kindergarten, but I liked that. Sarah especially, is very shy and reserved so I knew the social component was going to be a challenge. What me and my dh both thought is that by them knowing the academic side already or most of it already, they only had to focus on social. It seemed to help.

The other thing I noticed was with Timothy. The effort of holding it together with his behaviour all day meant that when he got home, he just needed let loose.

Marissa

 

This is a good question! My girls are in kindergarten right now and it's been going fairly well. Here's what I didn't realize in advance that could have made it easier:

1. Kindergarten really IS all about the social. Sure, they discuss letters and sight words and addition, but the vast majority of times my kids have come home unhappy, it's been because so-and-so won't play with C on the playground, or P doesn't like that she has to sit still at her desk. So really - do not worry about your boys' handwriting or whatever. They'll be perfectly within the normal curve at kindergarten no matter how poor their penmanship.

2. There is a lot of sitting and a lot of rule following. My girls were in full day preschool for two years so they were no strangers to the routine, but public kindergarten is really different than private preschool. No more running outside and collecting leaves just because it's a pretty day. Piper has had a bit of a struggle learning to sit still, pay attention, and pretend to care about what the teacher is teaching.

3. The most important skills seem to be independence, ability open lunch boxes on their own (this is huge - practice now!), speak up when they need to go to the bathroom, and those sorts of things. The teacher can teach them how to read a thermometer, but she can't teach them how to want to push in their own chair, or listen as she discusses the days of the week. My kids haven't had any real problems in these areas -- well, except for the lunch containers -- but whenever I'm in the classroom I see kids who do. They're probably all smart, but they're not very focused and a lot of time is spent redirecting. I thought that my kids and others would have learned to follow directions in preschool, but it is quite different when being presented with "boring" stuff like subtraction than when the preschool teacher wants everyone to listen up because she's going to read a story. So if you can think of a way to practice this, it might be worth it? Or if you think your kids will be good listeners, talk to them about how everyone else isn't. Cricket got into the habit of reporting each day who did what wrong and who didn't pay attention and we had to work with her to explain that she didn't need to be the police for that. Everyone's responsible for their own behavior.

4. Last but not least, start early to advocate for your kids. Schedule a meeting with whomever appropriate (school counselor, principal) to discuss your daughter's situation. They should create a plan for her, perhaps a 504 or an IEP. There are two boys in my girls' class who are pulled out during the day for something. They both have behavior issues, so I suspect it's something to do with that, but who knows. Anyway - one of the boys parents set his special services up prior to the year starting. The teacher seemed totally prepared to handle him; he sits at the table closest to her desk, he's always at the front of the line near her, etc. The other boy came in as an unknown and had a really rough first couple of months. My girls were always coming home talking about how Matt got in trouble, Matt was on red, Matt tipped over his chair, Matt ran off on the way to art. It took several months for the teacher and parents and whomever else to come together and decide he needed extra services too. Now he gets pulled out with the first boy once a day for about an hour and his behavior is apparently already improving. Neither of your kids sounds like they'll have behavior problems.... but the story to me illustrates how working with the school in advance can mitigate ANY circumstances that might make it hard for a kid to settle in.

PS. I just read Meg's post below mine and I'd like to echo everything she said. My girls used up most of their good behavior at school and were exhausted for the first month or so - it was a difficult time because it seemed to me like my formerly well behaved kids had turned into little beasts. We shifted bedtime a half hour earlier and relaxed the rules a bit at home and things evened out. We drive our kids to/from school because the bus ride would be 30 minutes each way (versus 5 in the car) to keep the day shorter, and yes - a snack delivered the instant they get in the car has helped too.

 

Full Day Kinder is a long day for the little guys. Be prepared that it may take several weeks to adjust -- something like 4-6 weeks for us. I agree with moving bedtime up earlier -- we moved it up by 1/2 hour. I'd also have a nice calming bedtime routine that allows for time to "talk" about their day -- that's when we often heard what was really bothering (or exciting) our kids about kinder.

Also, my kids got off the bus and were exhausted, hungry and had used up all their good behaviour at school. Be prepared that your kids might want some alone time, some down time or (at the opposite end) some really active playtime to recuperate after their long day of trying to follow the school rules. I try to have a healthy snack (with some protein) ready for them right after school.

And, for kinder, we tried to stay away from after school activities and playdates -- my kids were just too tired. There will be plenty of time for that later on.

Enjoy!

Meg

 

WOW… these ladies have it together… everyone has GREAT advice :good:

I was trying to think of some epic advice… but I think kindergarten is when I realized I have no clue what to expect… I have been there done that and I still plan to tip toe lightly into kindergarten with these two. Who my son was in Pre K wasn’t the same kid in K… that same said kid is now (at 14 1/2 and a Freshman in HS) different then I thought he would be BASED on my experiences in pre K and K… so with that said (I know I really said nothing ardon: ) I will follow this post and hope moms who just recently went through this (or are going through this) offer ME advice :blush:

 

Are you planning on separating or keeping your two together? If you are separating, you might want to talk to the school and other twin parents to find out the best way. My girls school has some teachers that work great together and some that don't. It is much easier when the teachers are on more of the same page then when they are doing totally different things.

 

I agree with everyone else about kindergarten being a place to learn how to be in school. I talk to my girls about that all the time if they or someone else is having a rough day (listening, staying on task with the group, etc). Also, one little thing I wish I would have worked with my girls on more before the start of school- independence with their lunches. It sounds silly, but my girls couldn't open little baggies of fruit chips, or had a hard time opening their yogurt. When they came home those first couple of days with most of their lunch untouched it eventually came out that there were few teachers around to help, and sometimes my girls didn't want to ask for help.

As for academics, this really varies school to school. Our school is very academic, but there is a wide range of abilities at this age. So if your kids are writing, others might just be starting to 'label' with letters in their picture (like if they draw a car- they might start to write c or k for the "c" sound). For my girls' school, I was surprised at how quickly they jumped into writing and reading, math and science. But they did pre-k in this school so I really shouldn't have been shocked. Pre-k (5 1/2 days a week) was more like what I expected kindergarten to be, and K this year is like 1st. But like I said that varies.

The other thing they will need to get used to is having specials (gym, art, music, library, computer, etc). Having multiple teachers, classroom environments and expectations! It was strange not to know these people who know my kids, but now that we are in this school 2 years I'm getting to know everyone they interact with better.

 

If you are separating them, I agree. Our school has 9 kindi and 9 first grade classes. I separated my girls in kindergarten, and both in kindi and now first, they have been assigned to teachers who plan together and follow basically the same lesson plans and assign the same homework. Our school intentionally tries to do that, I did not request it. But it wouldn't hurt to inquire about it. My one daughter is one of 4 twins in her class (all are one of a set).

I disagree that kindi is just learning social skills. It's not that way in our district. I volunteer weekly in each of their classes, and last year it was very obvious which children had not attended preschool. They struggled. Some came in not even able to recognize all the letters of the alphabet. There is a lot of reading work in our kindergarten. One of my daughters was placed in a class last year that had a very high number of "problem" kids who had trouble behaving, sitting still, etc. The class, even a year later now, has a reputation of being one of the hardest to deal with classes ever in that school. And that daughter, whose behavior is basically perfect at school (not at home, but at school she's an angel), struggles with reading now because she didn't get the kind of attention that my other daughter was able to get. Thankfully this year she's working with a reading specialist and is improving by leaps and bounds.

My girls went to 3 years of preschool (3 days/week) and they knew how to sit still/in a circle, listen, take turns, make friends, their ABCs, counting to 100, etc.

 

Our hope is to have them separated for kindergarten, my two tend to be very over-reliant on each other. If they are in the same class, than they will most likely only interact with each other and probably answer questions for each other. I say hope...because it depends on what we do for kindergarten. I submitted them for the lottery for some charter schools in the area. If we don't get into to charters (which is very unlikely) then we will have to decide between public and Catholic school. If we go Catholic, there is possibility their grade will only have one kindergarten class, so they might wind up in the same class.

From what my friends and my SIL have told me, I have heard that the school districts (Catholic, public, charter) are all treating kindergarten like the new first grade. Once we know what school the kids will be attending, I do want to meet with someone about my daughter.

I appreciate all of the wise advice so far, keep it coming ladies! I never thought to practice opening the lunch boxes with the kids!

 

The school my kids went to was pretty academic, much more so than when I was in school. The only thing that really shocked me was that they had HOMEWORK in kindergarten! I couldn't believe it. So prepare for that possibility!

 

In addition to opening lunch boxes and containers, make sure they can eat lunch within a set time. If they are slow eaters, you'll need to work on speeding them up.

If they are going to be car riders, you probably need to work on seatbelts. Our car line has a low tolerance for mom having to get out and buckle up kids.

Also practice zippers on coats and fasteners on shoes that they can handle themselves. Getting 18 kids dressed and out the door for recess in the winter just isn't going work.

Marissa

 

Kindergarten is very different from when I went or even when my baby sister went 13 years ago but my girls did 3 years of preschool and pre k on top of that. We kept together for kindergarten and seperated for first grade. They are both at the top of their classes. We didn't do anything extra except read a lot and we still do( almost done with the 100 books for trophy).

 

Check to see if your school has summer school that is open to all who want it. Our school allowed us to enroll them in summer school at a cost of about $100/kid (it may have been less). They got to ease into the school routine when the stakes were much, much lower. They loved the short session, like 4 weeks long, that gave them an idea of what to expect. We also tested out separating them. If it hadn't gone well, we then could consider placing them together for K, again all during a short session where there were no grades, no pressure, no consequences to making the wrong decision.

 

My two went to half day preschool, 5 days per week for a year before Kindergarten. They were prepared to follow directions, stand in line, wait, eat lunch and put away stuff themselves and deal with their own clothing. Make sure your Kinders can undo and do up their own clothing after bathroom breaks. There was a little classmate who couldn't but luckily all the other little girls took it upon themselves to make sure she was properly dressed before coming out of the bathroom.

Prepare them for the classmates who have picked up nasty phrases, taunting, teasing etc as well as the tattle tales and 'cry babies'. One little boy was terrorizing the whole class with "I'm telling!" whenever something didn't go his way. He told my girls that they couldn't hold hands or "I'm telling!" I told them that if they were not doing anything wrong, they were to tell him "I'm not doing anything wrong, so go ahead and tell. You're the one who's going to get in trouble." He backed down immediately, actually started crying. When he tried it again in 1st they said, "I'm not doing anything wrong so go ahead and tell. In fact, I'll go tell for you!" and walked off in the direction of a teacher with him following quickly saying, "Okay, okay, I didn't mean it. Please don't tell teacher." Teach them to stand up for themselves and their friends.

We had the opposite experience of tiredness. They were used to running around madly for at least half a day, so after sitting in school all day they wouldn't fall asleep until much later than usual. We ended up putting them on swim team five days a week just so they'd go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

As long as they are close to grade level, don't worry about the academics. Mine did not like reading or math so we did what was required but did not push for perfection. At the end of 1st grade / beginning of 2nd they really came into their own and pretty much skipped a year of reading during first semester. 2nd grade seems to be a big turning point for a lot of kids, even some who needed extra tutoring in K and 1st.

The choice of school itself is very important. Choose the one that feels right. Don't worry about which has the most modern facilities, the most famous alumni or makes AYP every year. If only 40% of students pass standardized tests, just make sure yours are in that 40%. We attend school out of district even though it is literally 10X further than our assigned school. We are very happy there and I feel like the staff really have my kids' best interests at heart.

 

Oh yeah, the slow eating...that is a huge issue here, especially with my DD. I've been setting a timer in the mornings and telling them both that when they go to kindergarten, they can't spend their time fooling around, they have to be done eating within a certain period of time. They are good with shoes and getting coats on & off and zipped up. Seatbelts we have to work on. I have peanuts so they are still in the 5 pt harness car seats.

Ladies, I am printing out your wonderful responses. Keep the advice coming and :thanks: and :bow2:

 

I'm a year and half out and I think this threat is AWESOME!!!! In fact...can we make it a sticky?!?!?

 

HOMEWORK! My kid's school is very academic and CJ gets a folder filled with homework sheets on Tuesday and they are due back on Monday morning. Usually she has about 8 math sheets (front and back) plus reading to do during the week.

 

Oh crap, I forgot to make sure Alice did her homework. Her homework is due Thursday, Royce's is due Friday.

 

One of my girls had HW due day in K, the other one got a packet on Monday that was due on Friday (which I liked better, we could do 2 things if we had extra time to make up for the crazy after school days that we sometimes had).

 

:clapping: i need a "like" button on this one :good:

 

Take it with a grain of salt since we did not do K-- but started formal 'school' in 1st grade (they did several years of Preschool prior):

1. Teach them to do winter 'gear'. As a lot of PP stated-- getting 22 jackets, boots on, gloves, shoes, etc is just not feasible. My DD spent part of that first year missing part of recess each day for awhile as they learned to be independent on self care dressing for winter gear, and to do so QUICKLY. Also teach them to tie shoes. In 1st, the teacher tied shoes the first 6 weeks and then said she would not anymore. Seems mean- but honestly tying 22 pairs of shoes several times a day is crazy and time consuming. My DD learned quickly because they disliked asking peers to help tie shoes!!

2. Stick to a routine BEFORE school starts. Get used to getting up early, going to bed early, doing dinner/bed/bath routines. Those first weeks are intense and 'tiredness' adds to it! My DD are early risers, but still we had to tweak the schedule a bit when school started and I was surprised that getting up 30 min earlier impacted them so much.

3. Do some sort of group activity- then the kiddos get used to listening to other adults. If you dont do preschool, fine, do something that puts them in a group setting.

4. Do some 'social situation' activities. Play act getting in line for lunch, waiting in line, how to handle a friend in your personal space, what to do if you have a question, what do you if you see some misbehaving, when to 'tattle' and when no to 'tattle', how to stuff your backpack, how to ride a bus (rules), how to introduce yourself, how to ask someone how to play on the playground, etc. Prepping my kids and giving them 'canned' responses really helped them a lot in self-advocacy those first few days. Go over the various people at school : secretary, principal, etc. and how they can help.

5. Know how to read/write/recognize your name (first AND last). Lots of kiddos know first names, but then another child has the same name....confusion occurs until last names are sorted out. Also have them memorize phone numbers.

6. Try to take a tour of the school. It can be formal or informal (in a group or alone) before school starts. Some schools offer transition programs and others do not. But a bit of familiarity to the school goes a long way on the first day.

7. Practice opening lunch foods and eating in a set amount of short time. (as PP stated)

8. Get an eye and hearing exam before you start K. I was amazed when volunteering in the school the amount of kids that got flagged in Kindergarten by the eye/hearing screeners given in the Fall. Most kids that need glasses/hearing assessment do not realize it! It is so gradual and also is normal to them--- try to check some of that before school to make sure that it is not an issue. Many kids that may have trouble in the beginning cant see the board/papers or cant hear the instructions!

9. Have clothes that they can use the restroom in easily!!! Even in 1st, kids would walk out of the bathroom asking for help with overalls, tights, belts, snaps, etc. Clothes may be so cute-- but if they are not easy on/off, save them for later in the year or weekends! Also practice 'wiping' (many kids freak out about this and/or do not do it at school in K. - our school had a whole letter on JUST this topic) Imagine how time consuming it is for the teacher to help with clothes. Also, unless a child has special needs- the teacher/aide will NOT help with wiping/hand washing/etc.. Also practice washing hands and going into the restroom alone. In K, the teachers walk kids to a community bathroom in our area. Each child is responsible for going in taking care of business, washing hands, fixing clothes, and then getting back in line.

10. Get a system going. We have a spot where DD put homework folders, hang up coats, and place lunch totes after school every day. Then we are organized and know where stuff is in the morning. Makes life go smoother at 6 am! We also place the lunch calendar and other important papers in the same location in the fridge so we can reference them quickly.

11. If you can, try to set up a few playdates with other kids before school starts. Even better if they are in your DC class! Familiar faces make the start smoother! Often you can meet parents at K into nights or other 'before school' events. I know having a meet/greet with other kids in the same grade before school started was wonderful for my DD and gave them someone that they knew right away!

Our area is very academic. There is homework in K. Be prepared- they will be writing/read/doing math quickly in some areas. Make sure you leave enough time to do homework and also DOWN TIME after school. Some kids really need some unstructured time after school to decompress and to just play.

Also have fun!! Read a lot of 'going to school' books before hand and participate in any prepping activities the schools offer. Remind your kiddos that all the other K kids are 'new' too! =]

 

KCMichigan's list is great. And she reminded me, yes, teach them to tie their shoes well, double-knotted. OR, buy them velcro or slip on shoes. I volunteer in both of my girls' first grade classrooms and you would not believe the number of kids who still cannot tie their shoes, yet their parents send them to school with shoes that have laces. I am asked to tie at least 5 pairs per class, per week, in the hour I spend in each class.

 

One other thing just for parents---- if you can stockpile your sick days!


Our DDs collected a lot of sick days that first year in a K-5 building!


Somehow, I though that being in preschool would have been the worst of immunity building years...in our case that was not correct! Yes, they missed a lot of days at 3/4 for preschool. But the next two years were pretty smooth with smaller buildings and small preschool classes.

Then in 1st--- DH and both used up sick days and most of them were for one or the other (or both!) DDs.


Just a heads up!

 

That is what we had (slip on or velcro) until 1st and then one DD could not get 'gym' shoes in size 12 that did not have laces. Somehow once they move out of size 11, the amount of slip on or velcro gym shoes dwindles greatly!

My DDs have to wear gym shoes (sneakers) twice a week for gym...so the cute slip on ballet flats are worn on other days and how to tie gym shoes with laces quickly had to be learned!

 

Yes! In addition to easing the routine, it also helps them academically - knowing there is a progression and order to how the world works. One thing follows another and one action depends on the one before. Lights out always follows reading. B always follows A. You can't go to bed until teeth are brushed. You can't count to 5 without 3 and 4.

 

especially if they are boys! A lot of little boys don't aim well and untied laced can get soaked on the bathroom floor. No one wants to tie them after that.

 

Great advice!
Our transition this year was pretty smooth - more emotional for me than them in the end.

Our school is a neighborhood school and they had incoming K playdates starting last spring, it was a huge help for us.

Also, we live across from the school - so that was easy - and the K playground is open all time to the neighborhood. That really helped them feel comfortable.

Are they in preschool now? Two years in preschool meant our kids were good with their lunches, etc - but homework was an adjustment and different expectations.

 

We have Velcro shoes and pullon or zip boots. My girls live in their cowboy boots and they wear them with everything including sweatpants . Sketchers is usually what we buy and jazz is in a 2 maybe a 3 now. I have to buy her new tennis shoes(both girls) and gym shoes(just jazz jess can wear jazzs).this weekend as her foot is growing! The gym shoes they have are plasticky and have drawstring laces. I'm barely able to tie my own shoes let alone teach some one else. Dad used to tie my boots for me for the day so I wouldn't have to!

 

Yes, they are. They've been going since they were 3. It's only part time 3 days a week, so they do not have lunch there, just a little snack. But they do get homework regularly, so that is built into the routine. I am sure kindergarten will have more homework

Again, ladies, I cannot begin to thank you for enough for wise advice and experience!

 

I think you got some awesome answers here.

After having done kindergarten 4 times with 5 different children, alot of it depends on the child. However, some things are consistent. For example...
1. They really are exhausted and hungry after school. I have at times just had dinner at 4 pm and a snack later...it has made our afternoons much better! And they have used up all their good behavior and really are wild or at each other.

2. Being an advocate for your child is SOOO incredibly important. Even if you don't want to be "that" parent, they need you to be. Handling it appropriately is the key.

Our school has broken away from socializing kindergarteners and is all about education at this point...so there is homework. Make it fun for them. They are probably just as annoyed about it as you are, but if you make it sound exciting, they will fall right into that thought!

I hope you are geared up for the excitement of this next step. As much as my heart hurt when my last two went off to kindergarten (I think I sulked for a good 3 months ardon: ), it's so much fun to watch the excitement of learning take place. My kids all love school...alot! And that makes my heart happy