Three yo DS wants to be princess for Halloween

Some background might help. Several of our neighbors have given us Halloween costumes that their kids have outgrown. We have had a great time playing dress up with those for months now. Unfortunately there aren't really any "boy" costumes (the most boy-like one being Winnie the Pooh). My DS loves, loves, loves the Snow White costume. Drives his Daddy crazy. He went through a phase this summer where he wanted to wear Snow White all the time. It doesn't bother me too much although I do try to have him wearing Snow White only in the house . We started talking about Halloween a few weeks ago and in the hopes of getting DS to wear something else (something more manly?) I got him a Spiderman costume. At first he like Spiderman a lot and wore it around for a few days. When we talk about Halloween lately though he keeps telling me he wants to be Snow White. I have been trying to gently persuade him that being Spiderman would be way way cooler. Tomorrow is the costume party at our preschool. I'm trying to decide if he makes a big issue of it if I should let him go as Snow White. WWYD? If DD decides she wants to be a princess it might make it especially hard for DS so I'm angling to get her to go as a bumblebee.

 

Personally, I would let him. You might ask him what his friends are dressing up as for the holiday. Perhaps that might spark a conversation about why he wants to be Snow White vs. say the prince or another super hero type. But, really, he is just 3 and his playmate is his sister. This does not mean that he has a gender identity issue. He just likes Snow White. Zachary would only ride the pink girlie ride on toy and Hannah rode the red one that was her older brothers. He enjoys wearing tuts like his sisters when they play dress up. I would ask your DH if he would have the same issue if your daughter wanted to dress up like a prince or Bob the Builder. Not trying to provoke anything, but I often notice that people, esp men, get up in arms about their boys doing anything that might be considered "girlie" but not have issue if their daughters do more boy type activities.

Hope you have a nice Halloween.

 

I would let him too....afterall that is what Halloween is about ....getting to "dress up" in a make believe character! It wont scar him for life...I promise!


Missy

:wavey:

 

Great post, Amy!

Just think of all the mileage you can get out of his Snow White pics when he brings home a girlfriend in 12 years or so

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Oct 24 2007, 02:23 PM) [snapback]465423[/snapback]
Great post, Amy!

Just think of all the mileage you can get out of his Snow White pics when he brings home a girlfriend in 12 years or so

That is exactly what I was going to say!

But yeah, I'd probably let him wear it and not make a big deal out if it. And take lots of photos for the prom date and the wedding montage.

 

The only reason I might have a problem with it, is he's going to wear it to preschool. My girls are 3 and are very into BOY & GIRL identifications. I honestly couldn't tell you what they would do if they saw a boy in a princess dress. Probably nothing, since they often put wands & tiaras on their dad.

It's hard to say. The only reason I would try to dissuade him would be if I were afraid the other kids would tease him.

 

QUOTE(jamey @ Oct 24 2007, 03:23 PM) [snapback]465773[/snapback]
The only reason I might have a problem with it, is he's going to wear it to preschool. My girls are 3 and are very into BOY & GIRL identifications. I honestly couldn't tell you what they would do if they saw a boy in a princess dress. Probably nothing, since they often put wands & tiaras on their dad.

It's hard to say. The only reason I would try to dissuade him would be if I were afraid the other kids would tease him.

That's a good point. Have you taken him out shopping for a costume? Maybe if he got to pick something he would like it better? If he likes dresses (I've known many straight men that like dresses) maybe he could be a wizard? They also have these groovy power ranger costumes that are bright and soft, I bet that's what he likes about the Snow White dress. (And if you have the same dress I'm thinking of it's very pretty, shiny and soft.)

 

My first thought was the other kids teasing him too but I'm not sure if that really would be an issue for three year olds. I wouls just let him wear it if he wants to and not make a big deal out of it. Probably the more you make an issue of it the more he'll want to wear it.

 

That is hard. I kind of agree with Jamey and Jennys posts.

 

The Snow White outfit has a blue, velvet-like top and a bright yellow skirt. I think it is the bright yellow skirt that he really likes. Hard to tell though. DD got a dress up set for their birthday and DS immediately put on the feathered, purple, somewhat high heeled shoes and wouldn't take them off until everyone had gone home after the party :rotflmbo:. I ended up hiding the shoes when I finally got them off of him because they were really digging into his feet and I thought he'd end up with blisters. Discovered that DS can walk better in high heels than I can. I was surprised that none of the kids as far as I could tell gave him a hard time about the shoes. The adults all had to make comments though (Ah, nice shoes Billy) -- not that it bothered him.

Not sure what I'll do yet. I'll probably just see how he responds and if it's Snow White, it's Snow White. No time now to go look for a new costume by tomorrow.

 

Just to make you feel better, my 3 yr old went to preschool with painted toe nails for a week. I was painting mine and he asked if we could paint his, so I did. I don't make a big deal out of these things and usually they pass. Anyway, the boys thought very little of it in his class but the girls thought it was so cool that a boys had purple toe nails. One boy told him girls paint their nails, but Aaron did not care one bit. I did warn him that the boys might tease him for painting his nails because it's something girls usually do, and he said he didn't care. I'd say just warn him they might pick on him and maybe bring him a change of clothes in case he's over it after an hour or 2. Good luck!

Kelly

 

I think you have some great responses here. I just wanted to say I'd let my son dress up as Snow White if he wanted to.

thea

 

Well I might be the lone dissenter.

I would not let my son dress as a princess. I'm sorry. I have lots of reasons, some that are totally gender biased (boys don't wear dresses, Snow White is a girl), and some that are more practical (not wanting him to get teased, not wanting other adults present to treat him differently, for example). I would take him out to Target and let him pick something out.

My son loves to wear Hannah's dresses and heals, don't get me wrong. He also likes to run around in the buff. I let him do neither of those things in public.

ETA: My DH would have a really hard time with it too, and so out of respect for him I would try and honor his wishes.

 

He is 3 and if it would make him happy, do it. This just isn't about anyone else but him.

A year from now will it matter?

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Oct 25 2007, 01:10 AM) [snapback]466149[/snapback]
He is 3 and if it would make him happy, do it. This just isn't about anyone else but him.

A year from now will it matter?


Ditto this...kids learn behavior from adults, 3 y/o children haven't learned how to hurt one another feelings (I hope), unless someone taught them to behave that way. He will be fine. My DS also loves the Snow white costume and I will let them go as they want... Halloween is about getting to do something out of the ordinary. But my DS also has purple toenails and fingernails as long as he's happy!

 

I agree with Kate. With my oldest being a girl, I've dealt with this since my oldest ds was born when she was 2.5. In our family, there are some things that girls do that boys don't. Like nailpolish, dresses, heels, etc. If it is something obviously girly, it is for the girls. If it is obviously boy, it is for the boys. Toys don't really apply to this of course. And my three year old loves the sippy cups that are green and change to purple when they are cold. He gets those sometimes. But he doesn't get the bright pink ones because those are Kayci's. It might sound silly but that's how it is for us. I don't make a big deal out of it, but if Aaron or Erick wants a "poof" like Kayci (a little fountain ponytail on top of her head) I just say, no you're a boy, only girls do that. Same with dresses, the pink flowered shirt, etc. Anyway, that's my two cents.

 

My 5 year old DD is going to be the red Power Ranger this year. She loves Power Rangers, and I don't think it is that big of a deal.
However, if DS wanted to be a princess, I don't think it would happen. He is our only boy (out of 4) and DH wouldn't have it. Double standard, I know. I don't think I would feel okay about it like I do with DD. She likes a mix of "girl" and "boy" things so as of now we consider it well-rounded.

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Oct 24 2007, 08:39 PM) [snapback]466109[/snapback]
Well I might be the lone dissenter.

I would not let my son dress as a princess. I'm sorry. I have lots of reasons, some that are totally gender biased (boys don't wear dresses, Snow White is a girl), and some that are more practical (not wanting him to get teased, not wanting other adults present to treat him differently, for example). I would take him out to Target and let him pick something out.

My son loves to wear Hannah's dresses and heals, don't get me wrong. He also likes to run around in the buff. I let him do neither of those things in public.

ETA: My DH would have a really hard time with it too, and so out of respect for him I would try and honor his wishes.


I have to agree, I wouldn't let a boy wear that costume, for the same reasons above

 

My husband wore girls costumes as a toddler/kid - he grew up fine. I'd rather not, but if my son wanted to, I would let him. But I'd probably send the Spiderman costume to school with him in case he wants to change when he sees what the other boys are wearing. I'd also give him something to say if anyone says anything to him - though I'm not sure what (I'd be more concerned about the teachers than the kids).

Best,
Mia

 

QUOTE(jamey @ Oct 24 2007, 09:23 PM) [snapback]465773[/snapback]
The only reason I might have a problem with it, is he's going to wear it to preschool. My girls are 3 and are very into BOY & GIRL identifications. I honestly couldn't tell you what they would do if they saw a boy in a princess dress. Probably nothing, since they often put wands & tiaras on their dad.

It's hard to say. The only reason I would try to dissuade him would be if I were afraid the other kids would tease him.


I'd worry about him getting teased too -- BUT I would still let him wear it. Easy for me to say, as I don't have a 3yo and my kids are both girls (and as a PP pointed out, people are way more accepting of girls doing "boy" things than vice versa). But I don't want to teach my kids that they should make decisions based on whether or not they are going to be teased.

Also, as another PP pointed out, Halloween is about make believe!

I also happen to think it's totally fine for boys to do "girly" things (in fact I would encourage it), which probably contributes to my response.

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Oct 24 2007, 07:39 PM) [snapback]466109[/snapback]
Well I might be the lone dissenter.

I would not let my son dress as a princess. I'm sorry. I have lots of reasons, some that are totally gender biased (boys don't wear dresses, Snow White is a girl), and some that are more practical (not wanting him to get teased, not wanting other adults present to treat him differently, for example). I would take him out to Target and let him pick something out.

My son loves to wear Hannah's dresses and heals, don't get me wrong. He also likes to run around in the buff. I let him do neither of those things in public.

ETA: My DH would have a really hard time with it too, and so out of respect for him I would try and honor his wishes.


I agree with Kate. I also liked the idea that Jenny had of letting him go with you to pick his costume.

 

Thought I'd give an update on how this morning's preschool party went. DS was very insistent that he wanted to go as Snow White. I tried several different ways to convince him Spiderman might be better but since he really (REALLY!) wanted Snow White, I went along with it. We got a couple of surprised looks from adults as we were coming in and one little girl asked me "Why is he dressed like a girl?" (to which I replied because he likes Snow White) but that was it. It did make DS very happy so I was glad we just went with it. The school has three preschool classrooms and each class did a parade through the other classrooms to show off their costumes. There were a couple other Snow Whites in the other classes which we had to stop and admire which was kind of funny . The teachers for our class didn't bat an eye and the kids in our class were just admiring each others costumes. I got lots of pictures.

 

I'm glad it went well! Make sure you put a copy of those pictures in a safe place until his first date.

 

I say bravo to you for letting your son be himself. I think you did the right thing and am glad that your son had a good time.

 

QUOTE(Brenda1008 @ Oct 25 2007, 10:20 PM) [snapback]467375[/snapback]
Thought I'd give an update on how this morning's preschool party went. DS was very insistent that he wanted to go as Snow White. I tried several different ways to convince him Spiderman might be better but since he really (REALLY!) wanted Snow White, I went along with it. We got a couple of surprised looks from adults as we were coming in and one little girl asked me "Why is he dressed like a girl?" (to which I replied because he likes Snow White) but that was it. It did make DS very happy so I was glad we just went with it. The school has three preschool classrooms and each class did a parade through the other classrooms to show off their costumes. There were a couple other Snow Whites in the other classes which we had to stop and admire which was kind of funny . The teachers for our class didn't bat an eye and the kids in our class were just admiring each others costumes. I got lots of pictures.

This made me cry. I am so happy for you and your DS. Kudos to you for making him so happy and letting him enjoy a holiday that is all about having a good time and doing something different.

 

:yahoo:

That is a great update! I'm so glad the party went good & your DS got to be who he wanted!

Great Job, Mom!

 

QUOTE(Brenda1008 @ Oct 24 2007, 09:34 AM) [snapback]465219[/snapback]
Some background might help. Several of our neighbors have given us Halloween costumes that their kids have outgrown. We have had a great time playing dress up with those for months now. Unfortunately there aren't really any "boy" costumes (the most boy-like one being Winnie the Pooh). My DS loves, loves, loves the Snow White costume. Drives his Daddy crazy. He went through a phase this summer where he wanted to wear Snow White all the time. It doesn't bother me too much although I do try to have him wearing Snow White only in the house . We started talking about Halloween a few weeks ago and in the hopes of getting DS to wear something else (something more manly?) I got him a Spiderman costume. At first he like Spiderman a lot and wore it around for a few days. When we talk about Halloween lately though he keeps telling me he wants to be Snow White. I have been trying to gently persuade him that being Spiderman would be way way cooler. Tomorrow is the costume party at our preschool. I'm trying to decide if he makes a big issue of it if I should let him go as Snow White. WWYD? If DD decides she wants to be a princess it might make it especially hard for DS so I'm angling to get her to go as a bumblebee.



I didnt read all the replies... But i would tell him no. The same way I wont let my kids be something scary, I wont let them cross dress either. JMO.

 

QUOTE(Brenda1008 @ Oct 25 2007, 06:20 PM) [snapback]467375[/snapback]
Thought I'd give an update on how this morning's preschool party went. DS was very insistent that he wanted to go as Snow White. I tried several different ways to convince him Spiderman might be better but since he really (REALLY!) wanted Snow White, I went along with it. We got a couple of surprised looks from adults as we were coming in and one little girl asked me "Why is he dressed like a girl?" (to which I replied because he likes Snow White) but that was it. It did make DS very happy so I was glad we just went with it. The school has three preschool classrooms and each class did a parade through the other classrooms to show off their costumes. There were a couple other Snow Whites in the other classes which we had to stop and admire which was kind of funny . The teachers for our class didn't bat an eye and the kids in our class were just admiring each others costumes. I got lots of pictures.


Glad to hear it went so well! My guess is that it isn't the first time a boy came dressed as a princess, and probably won't be the last!

 

I'm glad it made it so happy and that you let him make the decision. I think he's lucky to have such a great mom!

 

Thanks for the update.

Glad to hear that you are open-minded and let your son choose.

We're all forgetting how many men dress as women for costume parties...

Snow white is a story for girls and boys and if he likes the character so much, what's wrong with that.

If the party hadn't happened yet, I was going to suggest that you alter the skirt to be pants...

Good for you and good for your son!

 

You are all so sweet. Thanks for all your replies and encouragement. You really made my weekend! And it was a bit of a rough one. DS came down with a cold Friday afternoon. He hasn't been super sick but is not sleeping well at all and has been a real cranky bear. And that is making all of us more than a bit cranky. Here's a link to a photo of my two princesses in their costumes before last week's Halloween party. Hope it makes you smile like your help made me .

Snow_White_and_the_Princess

 

Oh BRENDA

That picture is so CUTE!!!!!!!

He looks so HAPPY...Way to go for letting him be what he wanted and what made him happy!

Now I wonder what he will want to be next year...maybe Cinderella? Lock that picture away for those dates he is going to bring home...LOL!