Time outs for pooping in pants while potty training?

I posted a couple of weeks ago about the boys pooping in their big boy pants or pull-ups (at nap/bedtime). It's driving me crazy!

Is there anything negative about making them have a time-out or thinking time when they poop in their pants?? I'm not talking about having an accident. I'm talking about KNOWING they have to go and deliberately going in their pants. They are 3 1/2 yrs...they definitely know how to communicate and know exactly what they are doing.

Like others that had posted, I have tried praise, rewards of all kinds, not saying anything, reminding them of where we go poop, etc. It's like as soon as they are done, they say "change!"

Just wondered if it would have any bad effect on them.....now I do have one that holds it, and I don't say anything to him because I would rather him go in his pants than to hold it for several days.

TIA
Alicia

 

I personally would not give a timeout for pooping in the pants/ pull-ups. They may just not be ready. Poop training usually comes well after pee training and I just don't find timeouts, negative comments or taking away toys to be helpful at all. I think you need to give it some time and keep discussing that we go poop in the toilet. Eventually they will come around.

 

In my non-professional opinion, you'd be starting a battle of wills that you cannot win. Bodily functions are among the short list of things they have where they have the control and you need to let them have it. "Use the kid's currency" is a saying I've heard on Supernanny many times and that's really what it's all about. For my guys, it's being a "big boy". They're so into independence that being challenged to do more and more for themselves makes them want to do it. The mere suggestion that they are doing something that a baby would do reaches them when no amount of yelling ever would.

 

QUOTE(NicoleT @ May 11 2009, 01:07 PM) [snapback]1308907[/snapback]
I personally would not give a timeout for pooping in the pants/ pull-ups. They may just not be ready. Poop training usually comes well after pee training and I just don't find timeouts, negative comments or taking away toys to be helpful at all. I think you need to give it some time and keep discussing that we go poop in the toilet. Eventually they will come around.


I totally agree with Nicole. We never made a big deal out of it. We just discussed where we are suppose to go poop and eventually they got it. It really didn't take very long for us.

 

Thank you....I guess I'll just keep plugging away the best I know how. lol =) It's just so frustrating when I know they know!

I ask, where do we poop? They say in the potty! Then I'll say " yes, babies poop in their pants, not big boys."

Thanks again I really appreciate the input!!

 

I just have to agree with the others. I wouldn't use time outs for that, it still is a learning process. Keep using positive reinforcement and encouragement. Good luck, don't worry it will happen!

 

I would not do a timeout for PT'ing accidents, personally. It's frustrating as heck, I know, but I just don't think timeout is a good idea for that.

 

QUOTE(Faith00 @ May 11 2009, 06:04 PM) [snapback]1308901[/snapback]
I have tried praise, rewards of all kinds, not saying anything, reminding them of where we go poop, etc. It's like as soon as they are done, they say "change!"


Have you tried being disappointed in them? Really make a show of how let down you are by them not using the potty. I'm often amazed by the power of high expectations.

 

I wouldn't do a time out for accidents. If it was because they were outside playing and just didn't want to come in then that is different.

 

You need to make them clean up! That's the ULTIMATE punishment. You can't really punish, but you can make them help clean it up! They are guaranteed to hate it (and you will too!) but it's supposed to work!

 

QUOTE(dfaut @ May 12 2009, 12:01 AM) [snapback]1309459[/snapback]
You need to make them clean up! That's the ULTIMATE punishment. You can't really punish, but you can make them help clean it up! They are guaranteed to hate it (and you will too!) but it's supposed to work!

Ok, explain this to me. How on earth is this possible without creating a much larger mess? Sydney is so much older to PT and taking so much longer than any of my other kids. I'm about at my wit's end with her and have tried about everything I can think of. The natural consequence part of me thinks this makes sense, but it seems like it would be a MAJOR hassle and mess.

 

QUOTE(dfaut @ May 12 2009, 01:01 AM) [snapback]1309459[/snapback]
You can't really punish, but you can make them help clean it up!

I agree with this (and everyone else). No time-out for accidents, even if they're happening because the child just doesn't want to stop playing. Keep reinforcing the message that poop goes in the toilet, they will get it someday. Have they ever really pooped in the potty? If not it may be that they are scared to go on the toilet (many children do get scared), which is a different situation to just not being bothered to go.

Another thing that might help (although only if they care about what underwear they have, and are not scared to poop on the potty) is to have some 'special' underpants, ones with favourite characters or something on them, and some 'boring' plain white ones too. Then they get to start the day in the special pants but if they have an accident then they have to wear the boring ones.

 

QUOTE(dfaut @ May 12 2009, 12:01 AM) [snapback]1309459[/snapback]
You need to make them clean up! That's the ULTIMATE punishment. You can't really punish, but you can make them help clean it up! They are guaranteed to hate it (and you will too!) but it's supposed to work!

I did have my girls help clean their panties if they pooped in them or peep (after they had been trained for a few months and new what they were doing). Basically I would clean them up and fill up the sink with a little water and have them rinse them out by rubbing it together. They didn't really do a good job but it was just the fact that they had to help me clean up. They really didn't like doing it but I think it helped. I had one daughter that made herself consitpated because she was scared to poop so I definetly wouldn't do a time out I know I tried everything with her and just waiting it out was the only thing that worked. It did take her a long time to start going on the potty and even longer to get her regular agian.

QUOTE(Twin nanny @ May 12 2009, 11:30 AM) [snapback]1309899[/snapback]
I agree with this (and everyone else). No time-out for accidents, even if they're happening because the child just doesn't want to stop playing. Keep reinforcing the message that poop goes in the toilet, they will get it someday. Have they ever really pooped in the potty? If not it may be that they are scared to go on the toilet (many children do get scared), which is a different situation to just not being bothered to go.

Another thing that might help (although only if they care about what underwear they have, and are not scared to poop on the potty) is to have some 'special' underpants, ones with favourite characters or something on them, and some 'boring' plain white ones too. Then they get to start the day in the special pants but if they have an accident then they have to wear the boring ones.

Having Thomas underwear I think helped with my son. We started out with about 4 Thomas and 4 Elmo. He only wanted to wear the Thomas so if he had an accident he had to wear Elmo and he didn't like that at all so I know he tried (and still does) to keep his underwear dry and gets upset if he wets himself (my son has only been trained for about 3 or 4 weeks so he still has an accident every now and then).

 

QUOTE(dfaut @ May 11 2009, 07:01 PM) [snapback]1309459[/snapback]
You need to make them clean up! That's the ULTIMATE punishment. You can't really punish, but you can make them help clean it up! They are guaranteed to hate it (and you will too!) but it's supposed to work!

We do this as well. It is not as easy as just cleaning it yourself, but it works. Tristan knows when he has to go, he'd just rather continue playing (and he will tell you that himself). I make him stand in the bathroom with his hands on the tub (so no playing with tub toys) while I clean his bottom. Then, he has to help clean the underwear in the sink (which he hates) and then take his dirty clothes to the washing machine, put them in and start the wash. The thing he has learned is that it takes longer to clean up and he misses more play time than if he had just gone to the potty. Oh, and whatever activity he was doing at the time of the incident (ie, playing with trains, playing his leapster, playdoh, etc) is off limits for the rest of the day.

Good luck...poop is no fun!