At what age do you start timeout and for what reasons????????? I've never been good at the disipline thing but you bet your butt I am going to be this time around with Brady & Aidan so that they don't turn 3 and act like they "RULE" me!!! (like Brett does!)
At what age do you start timeout and for what reasons????????? I've never been good at the disipline thing but you bet your butt I am going to be this time around with Brady & Aidan so that they don't turn 3 and act like they "RULE" me!!! (like Brett does!)
I started time outs with the girls when they were about 18 months old. Their time out was in their crib..for not minding, hitting, biting...whatever the offense was that I didnt accept. They were sent to timeout according to their age. At 18 months ...it was 1 minute and 18 seconds. 2 yrs old..they sat in their room for 2 minutes. Now at 3 yrs old..they sit in their room alone for 3 minutes. The key is to be consitent. If you say they are going to time out..then really do it..every time. I make sure the girls know they will do to time out..and soon it will be time for Garrett to start doing it...I hope it works out for you. Brandy
Tara, a few months back I read "Magic 123". I will be using that method of discipline with my boys-shortly-when I think they "understand" time outs. The book says 18-24 months for timeouts. More closer to 24 months, I would say. The gist of "Magic 123" is for example: "Adam, stop banging the table". He does it again. "Adam, that is 1". He does it again, "Thats 2". He then stops. If he does it again, you put him in a time out for 1 minute per year of age. There is no, "Now Adam, Mommy said you should not bang the table because its bad for the table and it can hurt the table. We cant afford to get a new one so stop ruining it." This type of "talking" is a no-no in "Magic 123". Children dont listen/comprehend/care and all you do is get worn out and upset more. With "Magic" you just time them down. No talk. Very simple and effective. It takes the "upset/anger/drama" out of it, KWIM? I like the pure simplicity/ease of it. It is very highly regarded method and is used in alot of schools as well as by many TS'rs. Good luck!
I think we started at 18months. Of course I didnt call it timeout. But they would be put in their playpen or crib(with NO toys). It would be according to their age. At 3yrs old they know exactly what timeout is for and they stay in it till I say its time to get out. If they get out they are walked back to the "spot" and left there. Once they sit there for 3minutes then I go get them and they HAVE to say Sorry. If they dont then they staying sitting till they are ready to say sorry. I dont have a problem with them saying sorry. For the most part they dont get timeout alot cause they know it is no fun. I think the earlier you put this into action the easier it will be when they get to 3 or 4yrs old. It wont be fun the first few times but once they realize that you mean buisness what you say they will get it. Cherie ramzie malena & sofia chalo oscar
With Zack I started it at 18 months. It should be interesting with the twins. I am so not looking forward to it.
DD1 didn’t really grasp the concept until 2 and I’m finding the same to be true with DS. To me, a true timeout is where they have the self-control to stay in the predetermined spot. I started at around 18 months with either making them sit on couch while I hold them and count to 30 or putting them in a PackNPlay but that were just kind of in preparation for the real thing. It does help them refocus though.
Almost exactly what Cake said.... At 18 months there were a few things I would hold them for. About 2 years I introduced real time outs. It was difficult for me to get them to sit at first so I started with in their rooms. Then I moved it to on the couch and if they got up before their 2 mins was over they had to start again with 2 mins in thier room. It only took a couple times of doing that and they sat in their time out spot without getting up.
The 123 magic sounds really good. I know the 1 minute for each year of age is the appropriate time. The only thing I don't like is the time out being in bedroom or crib, as I didn't want them to relate the bed/crib to a punishment area we just have an area in our living room at the back away from everything. amanda (jorja and jessica 3)
I started doing the Magic 1-2-3 method when they were about 18 months. Actually, Jade rarely needs a time out. But it was around then that Mel got her first timeouts and here was the reason: She had a thing about laying down on the dog's bed -- a major no-no in our house, the dog has his spaces and he is not to be intruded upon. I'd say no, and she'd get this look in her eye like, "I'm going to disobey you, watch me" and dive back on his bed. I figured if she knows she is disobeying me, she is smart enough to learn that I won't let her get away with it. The timeouts were very successful at getting her to stop this. Since then Mel usually has about 2-5 time outs a week. I've been using her crib, but am going to migrate to another spot -- TBD. She's starting to understand that when I start counting I mean business. BTW, I say "one" the FIRST time.
about 18 months here and 1 min per year of age. I also do not give lots of warnings. They do something bad, "No hitting" does it again, "I said no hitting, now you go in a time out" Just like that. Otherwise they dont listen and you end up saying the same things over and over again.
I think I started somewhere between 18 months and 2 years. Our timeout spot is on the bottom step of the staircase. There is nothing there for them to look at except the wall in front of them. If I say "do you want to sit on the stairs", they know they are in trouble!
I have always heard 18 months as the age to introduce time-outs. So far it seems that they don't really "get" the concept, so like Cake, I am only using them occasionally as sort of a pre-cursor/training for true time-outs, wchihc I think will probably start around 2 years old. So far I am finding redirection and taking things away to be much more effective tools for me. I have only done time-outs where the offense is something relatively serious and I know they KNOW they aren't supposed to be doing it. But honestly, I just don't think they get it yet.
I started timeouts around 18 mo and started just moving them away and then started a spot where they had to stay. It has now evolved to a chair where there is no activity and they cannot see the TV. I find the chair better than a mat becuase it is more contained.
We started at 18 months and have been using 1-2-3 Magic. The author gave a speech at my twins group last year. It was very interesting. I have since found that 1-2-3 wasn't working as quickly as I liked. So we decided to combine some things from Supernanny and only giving one warning instead of 2, which is what 1-2-3 Magic does. We have been doing this for a week now and things seem to be working better for us. You will find out what works best for you. The key is to be consistent, which is easier said than done.
I started at about 17 months. We had a "naughty pen" that was just 4 sides of the Superyard connected together. When we were away from home they'd go to the "naughty corner". They stayed there for 1 minute per year of age. After about a month, just threatening time out was sometimes enough to get them to stop. We used the Magic 1-2-3 method as well.
We didn't give time-outs until after the kids were 3. They were really pretty well-behaved until they started school and were exposed to some bad behaving! I put them in their room. I read that timeout doesn't have to be in some cold unexciting place. I don't even care if the kids play in there. Usually they just sit and cry until they figure out how to calm down. This is what I use time outs for. Once they calm down they are able to come out and apologies are expected.
Question about Magi 1-2-3...one thing I always hated is when a kid was misbehaving and they get to do it two more times (1, and 2) before they are punished. My mom saw her brother do this with his son and she said she always thought that part of it (giving them 2 more times to repeat the bad behavior) was too soft. Does he address this in his book, what is the philosophy behind giving them 2 more times to misbehave? I am asking because I almost bought the book the other day, but that part turned me off. So many of you are saying it is great... Can you fill me in before I buy it? Thanks!
lilnhanksmommy just asked the EXACT same thing that I was thinking. Can someone explain. Basked on Yvonne's description, I am interested in learning more. And I know so many of you swear by it. But I can't get past the whole concept of giving them 2 more chances to break the rule.
It’s not two more chances to break the rule but two more chances to make a good choice, which can be age appropriate. I don’t use 1,2,3 Magic per say but I do give my kids a couple chances to decide their fate. If they don’t come down the stairs after bath time on their own two legs, they get carried (the worst of the worst) after they are warned it will happen if I make it to the count of three. I let the babies out of the stroller at the mall last night and am proud to say that they both fully understood the consequences of getting too far ahead or lagging behind. There were times they got distracted but by knowing the count of three would be the end of freedom, I had no problems reigning them in. My kids tend not to wait for the magical number of three though because, depending on the situation, I may give the consequences with the first warning and implement it with the second.
