Together or Separate

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by rissakaye, Aug 11, 2013.

  1. rissakaye

    rissakaye Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    This is a sticky for us to all share our experiences for the big question of together or separate in school. It's a decision that all of us face and we all have our reasons. Here's the thread to share your story.




    We wanted the kids together for kindergarten. We did a lot of activities, but not a formal preschool. They had also been away from me while staying at grandma's house. We felt it was a huge transition and at least for kinder we wanted them together. That was a good thing because that ended up being out only option. The year my kids went to kinder was the first year that there was a choice of 1/2 day (free) or all-day (would have been over $5000 total). There was only 1 class in each section so my kids had to be together or pick which child to put in all day and which child to put in 1/2. We went with 1/2 day together.

    It really was great. The kids were in the same room, but the teacher separated them into different groups. The groups rotated centers together, so they never really had the choice to compare directly to each other. They had the comfort of the other one in the room, but didn't really have direct interaction except at recess.

    And then came the day at the end of the year when I knew it was time to separate them for 1st grade. They got into an argument in the car on the way home about how to pronounce the substitute teacher's name. They were both so desperate to tell their story and get their say in. That settled any lingering doubt I had about separating in 1st grade.

    First grade was wonderful. They each had their own stories to tell. Fighting/fussing with other practically disappeared. They were so much happier at home having their own space at school. With our school, they divided math and reading enrichment across grade by ability instead of staying in your homeroom. The kids were together for math and for reading groups. Recess was together. And at lunch, the cold lunches sit together and then the hot lunches sit. You don't necessarily sit with your class. I alternated which rooms I volunteered in. It really worked well.

    I can say that for my kids, together in kinder was great and separate in 1st grade was great.

    Marissa
     
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  2. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    My twins did two years of preschool. They were together for both years. During the second year, it became obvious that Clayton was relying on Audrey a lot and Audrey did not want that role. For example, Audrey would be first in line and Clayton wanted to be there right beside her, but Audrey did not want to wait for Clayton (if that makes any sense). There were other things but the gist of it was that one was relying on the other. We split them up in kindergarten. We talked all summer about how they were going to each have a different teacher. I worried about how it was going to work out. Turns out my worry was for naught. They thrived!!! Now, it seems that Audrey relies on Clayton more but they both have done well in separate classrooms. Nothing seems to phase Clayton. Audrey is more timid/shy and so opening up is a bit harder for her. They are in a grade with three sets of b/g twins. All sets were separated (school policy) for kindergarten. In one set, the boy had a VERY hard time with it. He was much better during first grade though. The following year there were two sets of identical twins who were not separated in their kindergarten classes.
     
  3. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    We decided together for Preschool to see how they would do. They did great, made their own friends, were in different groups, and both really blossomed in their own way. We asked the teacher her opinion and she said either way she thought they would do well, so we decided to keep them together. Each year, we ask the teacher if the next year we should separate, but so far no teacher has said we needed to. All of their teachers so far have put them in separate groups. They are in the same reading group and in the talent pool together, but for the most part, from what I have been told, they play with their own friends and do their own thing at school. It has worked well for us keeping them together.
     
  4. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    In Preschool they were in the same class, same with Pre-K. When they got to K, I had a weird "best of both worlds" situation. Our county only had half day Kindergarten, so they were in separate classrooms there. Then they would both ride the bus together to the Kindergarten Enrichment program (Private K, and only afternoon) where they would be together. In the middle of the year, we switched counties, and therefore they had to switch schools, but this one had a full day K program. They were separated, but together in their after school program.

    They did really well separated. Alice needs a teacher with more structure, Royce does better with a teacher that is more flexible. They don't hang out with each other in the after school program, they each have their own friends. So when I was discussing it with the guidance counselor who determines placements, she said that they would most likely be separated again. Which is fine by me!

    I don't know what is going to happen this year. I guess they will be in separate classes, there is no hard and fast rule in our county for them to either be together or separate, but A&R really do require two different type of teachers, so hopefully they will both get the best teacher for their personality type. I will update this post tonight once I find out!
     
  5. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'll tell you that mine are seperate and here's my thoughts-
    I wish they were in the same class, it would make my life a lot more simple. My son is having lots of trouble with this as well. He's not dependant on his twin sis but he's having anxiety about being on his own. I think he'd be just fine if they were in the same classroom.
    Also, he sees accross the hallway and is under the impression that Reese is getting more 'playtime' than his class and he now cries about this every single day.
    I have two different curriculums I am dealing with, and one has homework and the other doesnt and its just been a mess.
    I'm stressed about class parties and field trips-because I will need to alternate to be fair but my son and older daughter will want me at theirs EVERY TIME. Reese has been a rockstar and seems like a pro at this school stuff even in the second week of Kindergarten. THANK GOODNESS!

    The pros-now Reese and Ryder seem to miss each other and get along much better at home.
     
  6. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    Mine have been separated from day 1 of pre-k and its been very good for our uber-competitive girls. But in pre-k and k (and from what I've heard it will be the same in 1st grade this year), they've had teachers who work together so they cover the same material, have similar projects, and are sometimes in each other's classrooms. In pre-k they also had gym once a week together too. So we sort of have the best of both worlds too.

    Funny story- during the first week of pre-k during pick up time, one of their teachers told them to hold hands while waiting for us to pick them up. They each grabbed the hand of another kid :laughing: So yes, they are very independent and competitive with each other, so separate has been the best of us. Also like Bex, they work better with different style teachers (structured for A, more nurturing for M). The upside is the time they spend apart at school means they are kinder and more cooperative with each other when they are at home. The downside is two class parties, two time slots for the school book sale/plant sale/etc, conflicts sometimes in scheduling of classroom events so I've running back and forth. But it being more difficult for me is ok if they are in the best place for each of them :)
     
  7. ljcrochet

    ljcrochet Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My girls were together in preschool. They went to universal Pre-K in their elementary school. There is only one morning and one afternoon class so of course they were together. I knew they need to be apart. SInce they were little Sydney would stop doing something if she thought that Dani did it better than she did. Pre-K teacher said they would be better apart as well. Probably for the same reason.
    I have never written a note, but I do know that a lot of the twin moms in neighborhood have requested that the kids get teachers so work well together with similar teaching styles. I would rather have more work on my part and have each girl with the teacher who is the better fit for them. Last year Dani's teacher did not know they were twins till about 2 weeks into the school year.

    At my girls school only 3 -4 parents come to class parties at at time as well as on trips. So it is a little easy to just go up once in each class. Plant sale, book sale is all PTA volunteers. There is no guarantee if you say you want to help that you will be scheduled for when your child is there.
     
  8. carmenandwhittsmom

    carmenandwhittsmom Well-Known Member

    My kids are in 3rd grade now. They started daycare at 2 and have been together and apart depending on the year. For K until now, they have been in separate classrooms. The choice is ours but we have asked that they place the kids with the best teacher for each of them. If they end up together, so be it. However, the schools have placed them in separate classrooms and it has always been for the best. If the teachers had been switched, it would have been a horrible school year for us.
     
  9. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    Mine started out in separate classed in 3 year old Pre-K.  It turned out to be a good idea, since midway through that year, one was qualified for special needs preschool, and was pulled out of the original school, and went to the public school 5 days a week. They remained in separate classes all the way through 5th grade--with the exception of Word Study in 4th and 5th grades.  But that was only 30 minutes of the day.  Now that they are in Middle School, they are together for Homeroom, and 2 of their classes, Math and Social Studies.  Math works because ALL of their best friends are in the class with them--yes most of their friends are mutual, despite them being in separate classes!  In SS, they complain because the teacher sat them next to each other--she seated them alphabetically to learn their names.  Other than that, it is working out.  I think it does help that they have 2 classes apart.  Although, last year they did start sitting together at lunch, and they do this year too--more to do with the mutual friends than each other, though!
     
  10. 4lilmonkeys

    4lilmonkeys Well-Known Member

    Last year, in preschool, they were in the same class. The school had a younger and an older pre-k class and because of their birthday, they couldn't be split up. Their teacher was wonderful and she learned quickly how to handle them, but she strongly recommended that I separate them for kindergarten since they have the tendency to be disruptive when they're together. 
     
    Riley is very serious and very intense while Reese is more "free spirited." They really needed teachers who would mesh well with their personalities and challenge them, so I went to the principal and spent about half an hour talking with her about who they are and what they needed. We are about four weeks into the school year and they're doing well. I think that each of their teachers really give them what they need and are a great fit, so that has made it a hundred times easier for all of us. 
     
    As far as juggling classrooms, I haven't been there yet. I did buy snacks for each of their classes this week and that kind of broke the bank. I also have to keep in mind that what they're doing in their classes isn't ever going to be exactly the same and that's been tough because I feel like Riley isn't getting the same "fun" kindergarten experience like Reese is...but, it's just a different style of teaching and one teacher who is a "veteran" and one that isn't. 
     
    They don't see each other much. Briefly at lunch, sometimes in the hallway, once a week in PE and then at recess. I guess they don't really play together though. They're both making their own friends and are perfectly content to catch up at the end of the day. 
     
    I think you just make it work. You make the decision you feel is best for your kids and you adapt and work around it. The thing that matters most is that they're getting what they need and they're progressing and making friends. 
     
  11. SC_Amy

    SC_Amy Well-Known Member

    We decided to take the decision year by year.
    My boys had 2.5 years of preschool. We kept them together each year. As they were going into Kindergarten, we grilled their Pre-K teachers and both agreed there were absolutely no issues having them in the same class. We decided to keep them together for Kindergarten since they weren't having issues together and to help ease the big transition from morning preschool to full-day Kindergarten. 
    Five weeks in and it's going well overall. Their teacher is a twin herself and said she and her twin were together in classes for years and did well together too.
     
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