Too early?

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by turnertots44, Feb 27, 2013.

  1. turnertots44

    turnertots44 New Member

    Hello! Last year I made the decision to put the boys into kindergarten. The cutoff was Sept 1, their birthday is Aug 31st....they started before turning 5. They did great the first semester, knowing their letters, numbers and writing their names. After holiday break, they both took a nose dive. They are both struggling with concentration, social skills and academics. I don't want to hold them back but I also don't want to see them struggle next year in 1st grade.

    What to do....what to do??? Has anyone started their little ones "too early"?

    Thank you!!
  2. ljcrochet

    ljcrochet Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Have you spoken with their teacher(s) to see what they think?
  3. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    OK… I am no help… but I have been debating about coming on here and asking about kindergarten too… I will be following your post closely… my boys will turn 5 the last weeks of pre K… they are doing great… can write their full names and when tested on numbers they just stopped Seth @ 100… so academically they are ready… but an issue I see is SO many parents (half of their current class) have held their kids back so that they feel successful … are the leaders not the followers… Nathans BF (I’ll call him) turns 6 a month after Seth and Nathan turns 5… and now it’s all love and pre K but I had this issue with oldest and I really wish I kept him back (hind sight)… he is the only one 14 out of all his freshman friends at school… and let me tell you… there is a BIG difference between a 14 year old and a soon to be 16 year old freshman boy… and when it comes to college… he will be competing for slots against older boys…. SO for now I decided to send them half day K and if I find it’s a BIG issue I will hold them back and pay for ALL day K when they would be starting 1st…

    FYI… oldest had a few friends whose parent held them back in K and as late as 1st grade… and today… its no big deal… I don’t think anyone (the kids that is) even remembers…
  4. monica77

    monica77 Well-Known Member

    I don't have any advise for you, since my kids are 2, but they are born on 9/3 so I really want to see what people think about this subject also. Our cut off date is 8/31.
  5. turnertots44

    turnertots44 New Member

    Ive talked with their teachers just last week. And, honestly, they were no help......I am half tempted to have them screened for any things that would send up a red flag as far as learning capabilities go. I know they are YOUNG, and I think the teachers have lost sight of that. This is harder than I thought!
  6. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Kindergarten is a transition time. My two turned five the Thursday before Kindergarten started (8/23). So here we are halfway through the year and they are fine academically, but socially they have some issues (mostly Alice because she can be a bit, ummm, stubborn,) but that's what the teachers should be dealing with. (Of course, we just changed schools mid year, but she had some of the same issues occasionally at the other school too.)

    I've found that most of Alice's problems stem from lack of sleep and lack of good food, honestly. Are they getting enough sleep? When she's well rested and well fed (not so much sugar, more protein and veggies), she is a much better citizen of her class. She got a bad note yesterday, so I put her to bed at 7 last night and my husband said that she was "actually pleasant" to deal with this morning.
  7. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    My mom was a school teacher and taught grades from K-6 at various times in her career. She always said that if my brother and I had switched birthdays (mine is late Aug and his is early May), she would have kept him back from K. Her personal experience was that young boys just were much more likely to need that extra year. Now my nephew is in K. His birthday is actually 5 days after the cutoff, but they petitioned and got him in. He's decent size for his age and had done full-day pre-K the year before. So it seemed like a natural fit. He did the same thing, started off strong and then started to struggle more. But that's not the reason my SIL is planning on having him repeat K. She just feels like there's a big emotional difference between him and his classmates. She's worried about peer pressure situations because of the difference.

    I don't personally have experience, but it does seem like if there are issues, now's the time to have them repeat, rather than struggle for years to always feel behind their classmates. Another year of K would give them the time to mature, help them feel on top of the game, and there will still be plenty of kids that are about the same age.
  8. monica77

    monica77 Well-Known Member

    Dielle, my experience with my twins so far confirms your mom's theory - I think Max will be really airheaded if I send him to K early, he doesn't seem to want to focus for too long. Vanessa on the other hand has so much patience with books and she's so interested to read, she already knows most letters and numbers and she can count to 10. I think academically she will be ready to go early. Of course, a lot can change, they are only 2 and a half.

    The one thing that makes me want to consider to keep them an extra year is that I think even if they may be ready on the academical level, maybe they won't be ready from the maturity point of view. I think when they are teenagers, a kid who's older than most classmates may have a better outlook and not make bad choices - such as drink and drive, or ride in a car with a drunk driver, or thinking about dropping out of highschool - not that I am planning to raise my kids to become drunk high school drop outs :), but I hope being older may make them a bit wiser than their classmates.
  9. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    My boys' birthday is the end of June, they started K "on time" at just turning 5. There are boys that are a their same age who are now in 4th grade--my boys are in 5th. One boy is actually 4 days older than my two, and he is on their sports teams--so not with his grade mates from school. He is sometimes bored in school and wonders why he isn't with the kids his own age. And he isn't the only child I have heard of with this issue. There are other kids in my boys' grade who have been held for the extra year and fit right in.

    My usual advise is to look at them with their peers. If someone who doesn't know them can't pick them out as being younger/older than the others, they belong with that peer group. People couldn't believe that I would send my boys to K just after they turned 5. Now at 10, almost 11, one is among the tallest in the class--I think he is the 2nd tallest boy, both are in the top in reading and math (despite only one being able to read entering K), and are thriving. As it is, they are bored in school sometimes because things are too easy, I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had held them that year!

    Kids can always repeat K if needed. It could be that the change is because they are suddenly learning something new, rather than reviewing stuff they already knew, so have to adjust to the "learn" mode. There is still a lot of time left in school this year, and they may just be having a rough patch.

    Good luck!
    1 person likes this.
  10. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    When do you need to decide? I would wait until the school year is over, if you can. Touchbase with the teachers again then and see what they think in terms of academics and maturity/social readiness for 1st. If you have serious doubts that they are ready for 1st come the end of the year, I would probably hold them back. Personally, I think it would be better to repeat K than struggle in 1st and repeat 1st, or struggle each year and get barely based on to the next grade.
  11. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    I agree. I know it's hard, leaving it up in the air for months, but I think the answer will be more clear to you come May/June.
  12. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    I would get their eyes and hearing checked professionally. My DD did the same thing as a "young" kindergartener but it turned out she couldn't hear. As soon as she could hear again, she rapidly improved.
    1 person likes this.
  13. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    in my (unprofessional) opinion, boys are socially backward, period the end...whether you start them in K at 5 or at 6 (if they're on the cusp)...I started mine at 5 (they turned 5 in May), and there was a little boy that went to private school that was older than them (he turned 5 in March), and he was doing a year of private K, then a year of public K - so he's 3 months older and nearly 2 grades behind...why? the kid is as much of a spaz as my son, but will now not graduate from high school until he's nearly 20. How will that make him feel when his peers are starting college and he's still a junior in HS?

    Like Sharon said it could be more learning and less review, but the teachers should have a good handle on it
    1 person likes this.
  14. SuzyHolland

    SuzyHolland Well-Known Member

    In Holland all kids start school at 4.
    before you turn 4 you can "practise"a few times.
    The first year you can skip a few times butt after you turn 5 you have to go to school.
    our school is from 8:30 - 14:15 every day ( mon - friday)

    They first 2 years is kindergarden and then 6 years off what we call basic-school. in year 3 the real learning starts...writing & reading

    before this there is "todler school" thats from 2 years till 4. and 2 times a week a few hours. Butt this is more for playing.
  15. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    I agree with Amy. I don't think it will matter when you start them. My oldest is in 2nd and he had tons of issues in 1st, despite being one of the older kids, without being held back. I talked with the assistant principal and she said it takes until 3rd grade for some kids to mature. That doesn't mean they aren't academically ready, they just need some extra time. If your kids were struggling academically, I would say pull them back. Just keep coaching them for social situations and one day, they will get it.
  16. kim01

    kim01 Well-Known Member

    we never sent our boys to pre-k. but I didn't enroll them into k until they were 6. I just didn't think they or I were ready. they did good,and I am glad that I waited another year. good luck with what ever decision you make.
  17. Sofiesmom

    Sofiesmom Well-Known Member

    I agree with Sharon, look at the rest of the class. My twins are the youngest in their year with end of November birthdays (cut off is 31 December, they basically go by calendar year). They're young, but no different than others in their class. Academically they're well ahead of their age, and socially they're just fine. They entered Primary at 4y9m, went straight into reading and writing, and loved it! There's always the rowdy ones, the bossy ones, the delayed ones, the super smart ones, the sporty ones, the shy ones ... No matter the age. They'll be finishing Year 2 soon (basically 1st Grade at 6y7m when they finish this summer). They'll be 10 going into Secondary (Year 7), but they fit in the year level they are in, they're all different, they all have their strength and weaknesses, but at least they're all the same age, all born in 2006.

    BTW, mine get tired by the end of term. It's pretty hard work. One the bus at 7.15 am, back at 3.30 pm, 5 days a week, lots of learning ... they need breaks, I can see them going downhill at certain points ... they're still so little.
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