Torn about doing CIO AGAIN at 14 mos

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Jordari, May 22, 2008.

  1. Jordari

    Jordari Well-Known Member

    I did CIO when the girls were 11 months because I couldn't function any more (yes, it was yet another one of those things that i thought i would never do!) For a nice chunk of time they were both sleeping ten solid hours; one would occasionally sleep 10.5 or 11,and we had ONE day of almost 12.

    For the last month or so Tessa (my smaller girl) has been waking any time between 12 and 4 and been impossible to put back to sleep w/out a bottle. They generally have been going to bed around 8 (later than I like but we're in that weird transition period where they won't nap in the afternoon til very late, or some days they're dropping that nap totally unless it gets forced in the car.)

    They eat dinner between 5:30 and 6:30 (depending on when they woke and had a snack), and baths around 7. They drink a big bottle before bed - close to ten ounces.

    Now, I KNOW she can sleep 10 hours, because she used to, but- maybe she's changed? They started walking about a week after their first birthday, so they'd been sleeping that long at that point, but now they're running around all day. And it seems like they don't eat a whole lot some days, although they're getting probably 28 - 32 ounces of milk (another issue!)

    She (both of them, actually, but danielle will sleep a solid ten more often than not) started waking after she got sick. AND they're teething something awful, and I try to time it so i give them motrin right before bed, but that doesn't always work out and it only lasts for 8 hours max anyway.

    When she gets up, she goes back to sleep - and it will often net out between 10 and 12 hours (unless, of course, Danielle wakes before Tessa is asleep, then the whole thing is a mess.) I've started to wake her shortly after danielle has woken, even if she's been asleep for less than an hour; it kills me to wake her but when I don't I get consecutive nappers and my entire day is messed up! (uh, like TODAY!)

    So here's my dilemma; since we're living in my sister's house while DH travels to exotic locales for work (he left a week ago for two months!), I've been hesitant to let them cry, because my sister is a doctor and works crazy hours then rushes home to help me with the girls (and she has a husband and a 19 and 22 year old at home as well.) And you can hear everything in the house, even though we're two level below everyone else.

    She is going away for three nights starting tomorrow, and at least one of my nieces will be gone as well, so it seems an ideal time to do it.

    But - I feel awful about it; it was difficult enough the first time, but now I'm worried that she's having a growth spurt, or her teeth are really hurting, and how can I let her scream in the middle of the night alone in the dark?? But I"m getting really frustrated - and exhausted again, and now that DH is gone I don't have any help during the day (he was working from the house while he was here).

    I know that many people find that 3 nights is the magic number (I honestly don't know how long it took the first time; i separated them and put in ear plugs and turned the monitor off because I couldn't bear it).

    I welcome your thoughts (and reassurances for those who are going to suggest I go for it!)

    Thanks in advance!
  2. melissao

    melissao Well-Known Member

    Elizabeth is 13 months and I am having to do CIO again b/c she was sick last week on vacation and I caved and let her sleep with me and nurse all night. We've been back for 5 days and she wakes up 1-2x a night still and cries for a few minutes, but I haven't had to go in. If you think her teeth are bothering her I would give her a dose of motrin before bed and then go from there. I would think 2-3 nights would be the worst of it! I'm sorry you have to do it again, I know it's stressful!
  3. excitedk

    excitedk Well-Known Member

    If it were me I would DEFINITLY do it, the sooner you nip this in the bud the easier it will be!!! I really think you guys could benefit from a structured schedule, naps by the clock and same with wake and bedtime. I am in the camp if its not working then try something else, so why not try a schedule? ( I say this as a mom who had HORRIBLE night sleepers until 11 months!!!)
    And you WILL feel bad about it until they start sleeping the 10hrs in a row again, and then you will post how happy you are you did CIO ;) lol!!!

    And as far as the milk consumption goes, I would cut back and slowly they will eat more :)
  4. Sofiesmom

    Sofiesmom Well-Known Member

    I would go for it! But I would also look at their nap schedule, maybe drop a nap and make sure the last nap is earlier, and put them down earlier. I think 8 pm is pretty late, especially since your experiencing problems at night (so they don't seem to do well with it, if they would, it would be fine).

    Good luck! A 14 mo does not have to wake up several times at night to eat, especially not after 10 oz.

    I honestly believe that teething or growth spurts do not mess up their sleep schedules nights in a row ... I have 3 and none of them ever did that. Sickness, yes, maybe but not even to this extent.
  5. Laura in Alaska

    Laura in Alaska Well-Known Member

    OMG it's so funny that I'm reading this now, while M cries in her bed at 3AM and G looks at her with disdain. I can't go hold M because that would make G feel sad and lonely. G doesn't go back to sleep if you pick her up, she just gets more playful. M started waking at night again about a month ago when she was teething really bad. Holding her for a minute worked, so against my better judgment thats what we did. Now though she's just in the habit of having help to get back to sleep. We decided tonight that we weren't going to cave any longer. But she's been going now for about 15 minutes. I don't know how much of this I can take. :(

    Best of luck to you! Let us know how it goes!
  6. Jordari

    Jordari Well-Known Member

    Well, I think i'm going to start tonight.(of course last night she never really woke, just whined intermittently for about FOUR hours....then they BOTH woke at 5:30 and there was no going back to sleep. I'm hoping that an early nap (starting about NOW) will help us get an early afternoon nap and earlier bedtime......

    Someone suggested that I wake them at 10 or 11 before I go to sleep and get their 10 hours that way, but I don't like the idea of interrupting their sleep cycle at all. (I tried that a few times when they were about four months old and i was nursing them on demand; it never worked; the one wouldn't wake enough to eat and then she just woke an hour later anyway.....

    I've been thinking about a fixed schedule (oh, for months now); i wonder if it's 'too late', especially as we seem to be getting closer to dropping a nap. But - worth a try, I suppose, since this business isn't working for me. I'll give it 3 nights of CIO and see what happens - keep good thoughts for us!
  7. annieuetz

    annieuetz Well-Known Member

    When the girls are teething, we give them motrin right before my husband and I go to bed around 10pm. That way it lasts all night. They don't even notice that we do it. Teething can disrupt sleep. Typically my girls will cry out but still be laying down.

    The other thing to think girls slept through the night until we introduced dairy. They then started waking up, wanted feed or just wanted to play and would not go back to sleep. They also each got double ear infections. We eliminated dairy and within three days they were sleeping through the night and the infections went away. We reintroduced dairy and they again woke up, wanted fed or to play. We eliminated dairy at that point. At 18 months they were allergy tested and they are allergic to dairy, wheat, eggs, beef, squash and bananas.
  8. ktfan

    ktfan Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Jordari @ May 23 2008, 03:03 PM) [snapback]789592[/snapback]
    I've been thinking about a fixed schedule

    Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!! This has been huge for all my kids. Starting the day at the same time everyday, eating at the same times all day, napping (or at least in the cribs) at the same time for the same length of time, bedtime the same every night, etc. If we'd get off the routine, their sleep would suffer tremendously. Try a consistent schedule and the CIO and I bet you'll have good sleepers soon!
  9. ~Laura M~

    ~Laura M~ Well-Known Member

    I was going to suggest dream feeding -- we would give a bottle at midnight and that helped. But I think that was done when they were 12 mos to 13 mos.
  10. excitedk

    excitedk Well-Known Member

    I don't think its too late for a schedule!!! You could start it with dropping to one nap if you want. You pick the wake time (obviously close to when they wake, not 10am for instance, lol), the nap time, and bedtime. You do not deviate unless you really think it is necessary (not for waking early, etc).
    We do no waking before 7am (they often sleep till 8am)
    nap from 1-3pm (once again they will often nap longer, but I will not go in before 3pm)
    bedtime at 7pm

    Since it will be new to them I would give it time before deciding whether it will work or not. And when you drop to one nap be prepared for it to take a while until that feels "right", mine were fussy things for a couple of months during this transition.
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