Trying for a Third?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by juliannepercy, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. juliannepercy

    juliannepercy Well-Known Member

    Not sure where to post this exactly but since I'm in the second year thought I'd start here.... I know many of you already have more than just your twins but for those who don't wondering if anyone else is thinking of a third. My twins were the result of IUI and I haven't been able to get pregnant on my own, but have always pictured having more than 2 kids. I have an older friend who's a twin and said her younger sister always felt left out. Any thoughts on this with those who have experience? Anyone else considering another? Everyone keeps saying "Imagine you have twins again!" and it's also freaking me out a bit! Also not sure what gap in age is good.
     
  2. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    AFter 7 years of infertility we got pregnant with our twins on the first round of IVF. We do not know why we cannot get pregnant, but I have my suspicions that it was on me. When the twins turned 2, I was still nursing and had some Ovulation pains. BINGO! I got pregnant with no drugs. WooHoo! We were going to head in for a FET the following month. Twins do NOT run in my family so imagine my surprise when it was twins again! (I think that is the only reason I got pregnant... full of hormones.) My advancing age & breastfeeding increased my odds of having twins again. I did lose one early on, so I did end up with just one. You did it once, you can do it again! Do not let your fear of multiple multiples prevent you from trying again! Good luck!
    Speaking from experience... I am a twin, the 'younger' twin. I am 4 minutes younger than my identical sister. I always felt younger and the 'middle' child if you will. My youngest does not seem to feel left out at all at this stage.
     
  3. w101ttd

    w101ttd Well-Known Member

    Yeah we got comment like "it will be triplet next time." all the time. But hey you want 2 more than if you have twins again. Thats perfect. We want 2 more as well. I wanted to try again this yr. but i am busy witg my work and having hard time with my 22 month olds so i plan on trying again another 2 yrs.

    If you know what you want and the best for your family, go for it. Its not crazy if twins parents want more kids.

    About age gap, my sis and i are 3 yrs different. We dont have the same friend groups. But we are pretty close. She has been a very big help to our family. Usually kids get along or not, not just age gap, it depends lot on personalities.
     
  4. MusicalAli

    MusicalAli Well-Known Member

    I have two singletons post-twins. it's wonderful. i love the 2-2.5 year age gap. they all play together. it's great.
     
  5. Alanna1

    Alanna1 Member

    I'm interested in this topic too. I have 13 month old twin boys and still want one more. I did ivf and still have 4 frozen embryos left (but I think I'd only transfer 1 at time this time :) ). I keep thinking about spacing too. I'd like them to be close but I just can't imagine being pg again so soon! And I heard that twins can be really tricky around 18-24 months. So I think I'll wait another year. Or maybe not! Decisions, decisions!
     
  6. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We started TTC when our boys were 9 months figuring it would take a few months and if nothing happened we would go back to Dr for clomid like we did for twins....well 1 day shy of their 10 month I found out I was pregnant with Hannah:)

    They are 18 months apart and I love it! Things are crazy...but not crazy enough that I'm trying to persuade DH for one more soon :crazy: ;)
     
  7. babyhopes09

    babyhopes09 Well-Known Member


    Pretty much the same story for us only they are16 months apart... First couple months were hard after ds was born but things are getting a bit easier now.. Wanted to mention that we did IUI for the girls.. When we found out we were pg again we were shocked bc I only have one tube... Guess the timing was meant to be!
     
  8. emp59

    emp59 Well-Known Member

    We started trying for #3 when the girls were 2 years so our age gap would be close to 3 years. Now looking at my due date, we are looking at 3 years and 2 months :) We could have handled the age gap being 2.5 as the girls play together a lot now, follow instructions pretty well (for 2 year-olds!), and understand how to behave around a baby.

    I, too, have had concerns about the 3rd child feeling left out since the girls are so close. I'm not sure if we will have a 4th, but its more possible if the 3rd is another girl because we think there is a greater chance of her feeling like the odd one out.

    The age gap that is best varies for each family! I will be going back to work when the girls are 5 because my husband will be getting out of the Army so I wanted at least a year home with the new baby before that happens.
     
  9. carrie-

    carrie- Well-Known Member


    We did IUI for my first set... Started trying for #3 when the girls were 6 months old - I always pictured having more that 2 as well. Surprise surprise, positive pg test 2 months later, and it was twins again. They are 16 months apart.

    Don't get me wrong, we are TIRED. I'm so ready to be done with bottles (only 4 more months!) and diapers (how soon is too soon to potty train?) but I do believe it will get a little harder once the babies start to crawl and walk, then it will get easier after that. I'm so in love with all of them, I couldn't imagine anything else (well, most days, anyway. Talk to me at 4:30am when the babies are both crying and won't settle down and it's a Saturday).

    I often wonder how people do it with only ONE...

    Good luck with whatever works out for you!
     
  10. BubbleDragon

    BubbleDragon Well-Known Member

    I'm due with #3 on April 1st and the boys will be nearly 2.5 I had 3 periods after stopping nursing, and we'd been in Seattle for 4 weeks and.... surprise! :) A girl!

    We're really quite excited. I'm sure there will be jealousy and I'm worried about the crawling stage with the boys being older and having smaller toys and things now. And all sorts of other things you worry about when you're across the country from everyone you've ever known. I'm worried we won't fit in our SUV. On and on. But hey, we'll figure it out. Lots of people other than us can do it. :) Fortunately, my mother is retired and is willing to stay with us for a few months until we get the swing of things.

    Pregnancy itself is harder. I can't just rest any time I want, my muscles were torn from the boys and I'm just generally not dealing with it as well. It was also hard to find a midwife who'd handle a VBAC.
     
  11. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    I have a similar story to the others! Never really thought I'd get pregnant on my own... twins were our 2nd IVF attempt, and I have to say that it seems the nursing hormones is our big ticket! the twins were extended nursing at 3 yrs old and when they started preschool they got anxious and nursed more for a few weeks, then quit. Within the month later we were pregnant!

    anyway, for me our twins will be 4 yrs and 2 months when the baby comes, I never thought about having kids with this spacing, seems a bit far, BUT, for the beginning I think it will be great, they are actually at a helpful age. I think if I'd had a baby back when we tried for a Frozen Egg Transfer cycle before they were 2 yrs old I would have been driven crazy...

    good luck!
     
  12. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    We are definitely having more kids, many more kids. But for now, with three kids 19 mos and under, we are taking a break lol.
     
  13. SC

    SC Well-Known Member

    We had to do IVF for our boys (ended up with identicals, go figure!). We welcomed the idea of one more, but assumed we'd have to do a FET. We decided to start trying on our own when they turned 1. We had tried (timed ovulation, etc.) maybe 3-4x (skipped/missed a couple of months) when we found out we were expecting... on our own! My first responses were shock and then total fear of having 3 kids 2 and under. Today, our older boys are 30 months and our newest son is 4 months. I will readily admit that life is hard right now, the days are long. Our older boys are balls of endless, fearless energy and it's hard to find adequate time to spend with the baby when I'm with all 3 of them most days. I am happy for the way things worked out for us, though. I still can't believe we had a baby on our own! And, we still have 3 frozen embryos, but we're DONE, totally DONE.

    I'd say if you know in your heart that you want another, then do it when the timing feels right for you and you'll figure it all out from there (it's mostly about schedules and routines and being a good manager!). There's no right or wrong age-spacing. It's whatever feels right for your family. I personally wanted to have another sooner than later because I want to return to work and I didn't want to start the baby stage all over again several years from now.
     
  14. NicoleLea

    NicoleLea Well-Known Member

    I recently found out that I am pregnant again. It was unplanned, and our girls are about 4.5 now. In the past whenever me and DH talked about whether we wanted more kids or not I always said if we did, I would want at least 5 years difference, that way the older kids could be in school and I could focus on the younger. Well, crazy enough that is exactly how it happened, by chance. The girls will be exactly 5 years old when the baby is born and will start kindergarten a few months later. I think that will make it a lot easier on me. My kudos to any mom who has 3 or more kids under age 2 or 3...WOW...I could not do it, I know that has got to be very hard work! So for me, I would have chosen further apart rather than closer together.
     
  15. flbchgrl

    flbchgrl New Member

    Hi, My fraternal boy twins will be 20 months old this month. We are going a different path than most of you. We hope to domestically adopt a newborn girl once the boys are 4 or 5 yrs old. We were blessed with our boys on the 4th IUI (first 3 were unsuccessful). We don't want to go through fertility treatments again, we want a girl if we are going to add to our family, I will be over 35, and daycare costs are prohibitive until they are in VPK or kindegarten. Also, we have some other personal goals to pursue in the meantime. I anticipate that having only one in diapers will be much easier at that point.
     
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