Twin possessiveness

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by skyra, May 11, 2013.

  1. skyra

    skyra New Member

    What a fabulous forum!

    I wonder if any of you ladies can help. My twins are 21 months and my eldest is 6. My twins are girl boy and for the last few weeks my boy is unplayable. He wants to be picked up the WHOLE time and screams if i even try to stand up with out him. He is so jealous when i pick up or hug one of the others. its causing problems within the marriage too because hubby says i shouldn't pick him up so much, but what should i do leave him to cry????

    i would appreciate any opinions on how to deal with it, or if you've been through it what worked and what didn't.

    I look forward to taking more of an active part in this wonderful forum.

    Thanks ladies.
     
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    One of the things that worked for me when both or one of my twins was in a clingy phase was to narrate where I was going and what I was doing. "Mommy is going to the bathroom now, I will be right down, etc."
    I would also do turns...it's your turn for Mommy to hug you and now it's your sister's turn. Sometimes they did have to cry it out but they had to learn that I could not hold them all the time (and neither could DH). It is a phase and it will pass :hug:

    :welcome: to TS!
     
    2 people like this.
  3. mom2gc

    mom2gc Well-Known Member

    I agree with Nancy. I also remind my boy/girl twins that there is only one mommy and that they have to share her. Turn taking is important. My boy is still the one that demands to be picked up more often and they are almost 3. :rolleyes:
     
  4. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    I agree about constantly narrating and stressing the idea of taking turns and sharing.

    My B/G twins also had and still have phases of needing more or less attention, cuddling etc. To me, it rarely seems driven by jealousy. I have found that it all evens out in the long term. The needy one will be the independent one in a few months and then they will switch back over time after time. So don't worry about picking one up more than the other for now and try to have a chat with your husband that responding to a child is not going to spoil him if that is his concern.
     
  5. skyra

    skyra New Member

    Thanks ladies. I appreciate the responses. I do try to even out the attention, but one is very "easy" and one demanding. But my little boy was in hospital for a week when he was born, where as the easy toddler (girl) was with me from the beginning, i often wonder if this is part of why he is so much more demanding.

    Hopefully it will get easier :)
     
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