Update

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by Joanna416, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    So here we go.....

    My boy is still alive but his fluid is down to almost nothing and the way it was explained really is that he is slowly going....that it is only a matter of time. He has made no progress while my girl has grown as she should in this last week. His heart is still beating, he is moving around, but that will cease, actually all of the docs are surprised he is still here.
    We went over all of the test results, and the reality is that he is just not getting the blood flow he needs and eventually that will be what causes his demise. My OB described it as a fatal disease that doesn't have a definitive timeline, so we wait.

    This is just so hard - I mean to look at him on the US screen and see this little baby that I will never have, I think it finally all got to me. I broke down and my doc gave big hug and told me that I was doing all I could, but that it is all out of my hands...I know that is true, but it doesn't make it that much easier.

    When I sit with the peri on Friday and we do all of our tests again, he may be able to shed some light on when he thinks things may happen, and it is there hope that all is before 24 weeks when things could create a problem..

    Thank you all for your prayers and support - I don't know what I would do without them....

    Joanna
     
  2. EricaG

    EricaG Well-Known Member

    You and your babies have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. So sorry to hear it wasn't better news, but like the Dr. said it is out of everyones hands, I know that doesn't make it any easier.

    Hang in there and I will continue to pray for you and your babies

    Erica
     
  3. LMW1015

    LMW1015 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry :hug: You are all in my thoughts and prayers :hug:
     
  4. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    :cry: I'm so sorry Joanna. :( :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  5. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Oh Joanna, I am so sorry. :cry: I can only imagine how hard this is for you. :hug:
     
  6. kdanielleflowers

    kdanielleflowers Well-Known Member

    Stay strong Joanna, you never know what miracles will occur. Seems like we are in a very similar situation as they suspect my little one is so small due to low cord blood flow and possible infection. However, she was smaller at 23 weeks also and made 4 weeks of progress from 23 to 27 weeks, so you never know. Keep doing exactly what you're doing and take care of yourself. You are God's incubator.

    Whatever happens, we are always here for you but I'm praying that we'll both have little miracles this year.

    God bless, Danielle and the girls.
     
  7. ddancerd1

    ddancerd1 Well-Known Member

    i am so sorry :hug: i said a prayer for you and your little boy
     
  8. Kimani

    Kimani Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. You are a very strong woman and mama. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Try and take comfort in knowing that you and your little girl in there will have an angel that will protect you both and give you strength when you most need it.

    Your family is in my prayers.
     
  9. NicoleMarieLG

    NicoleMarieLG Well-Known Member

    oh no... I am so desperately sorry :hug:
     
  10. Lawyerlady

    Lawyerlady Active Member

    I am so, so very sorry. I wish there was something I could say.
     
  11. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your kind words and prayers - I have used them for encouragement since all of this has started. I just want him to go in peace, and not suffer, the doctors told me that he is not suffering , that anatomically he does not "feel" what is happening. I hope that is true.

    I am not sure what I am going to tell my 5 year old DD as she figured out a couple of weeks ago that it was twins, and now I'll have to tell her something.. She has been through a lot with the loss of my Dad so I do not want her to feel anymore sadness...maybe I'll just tell her the doctors made a mistake...any suggestions?

    And TwinsinFL - I am so thinking about you and your little ones an praying for the best!!!
     
  12. GenandThadsMom

    GenandThadsMom Well-Known Member

    :hug: I am so sorry. You and your whole family are in my prayers. :hug:
     
  13. nana2three

    nana2three Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Joanna416 @ Oct 30 2008, 10:16 AM) [snapback]1048750[/snapback]
    Thank you all for your kind words and prayers - I have used them for encouragement since all of this has started. I just want him to go in peace, and not suffer, the doctors told me that he is not suffering , that anatomically he does not "feel" what is happening. I hope that is true.

    I am not sure what I am going to tell my 5 year old DD as she figured out a couple of weeks ago that it was twins, and now I'll have to tell her something.. She has been through a lot with the loss of my Dad so I do not want her to feel anymore sadness...maybe I'll just tell her the doctors made a mistake...any suggestions?

    And TwinsinFL - I am so thinking about you and your little ones an praying for the best!!!


    Joanna-my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm sure your 5 year old "knows" or senses that something isn't right. I firmly believe in being honest with my kids, and I know it will be hard on her, but I think you should be honest with her about what is going on. Kids are resilient and if you focus on the positive.....the little sister to be......I'm sure she will come out of it ok. JMO....good luck and keep us posted. You are in my prayers! Mary
     
  14. akameme

    akameme Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

    Does your dr think bedrest will help with the fluid levels? Or no, because you aren't 24 weeks yet?
     
  15. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(akameme @ Oct 30 2008, 12:33 PM) [snapback]1048863[/snapback]
    I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

    Does your dr think bedrest will help with the fluid levels? Or no, because you aren't 24 weeks yet?


    He said it wouldn't help - I did ask thought just in case.....
     
  16. hardinfamily08

    hardinfamily08 Well-Known Member

    My heart breaks for you and your family. Words can not begin to tell you how sorry I am. Please dont give up hope, he is strong, and I am a true believer in miracles. Youre in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:
     
  17. k8t-1

    k8t-1 Member

    I am so sorry... praying for all of you.
     
  18. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    I just came across this post, Hun, Im so sorry. The thoughts going through your mind right now. I am trully so sorry. You will be in our prayers.
     
  19. Carols3boysplus2

    Carols3boysplus2 Well-Known Member

    Joanna,
    I´m sooooo very sorry, your post brought tears to my eyes.... you and your family are in my prayers :hug:
     
  20. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family are in. :hug:

    You and your little boy are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  21. AngelKLP13

    AngelKLP13 Well-Known Member

    Joanna I am so deeply sorry. I was praying for good news. Praying for a miracle!
     
  22. tamaras

    tamaras Well-Known Member

    Joanna, I am just so so sorry :hug:
    I am continuing to pray for you ~ Please stay strong.
     
  23. Kyrstyn

    Kyrstyn Well-Known Member

    :hug: Joanna. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I am so truly sorry. :hug:
     
  24. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    I go to the peri today so I will update when I am back at some point. I decided that today, for my DD no matter what I'm told I am going to put it aside until tomorrow and let my DD have a great Halloween. She deserves to just be silly with Mommy today and eat candy and dress up - we always put it a silly Halloween movie on Halloween night and crawl into my bed together and just have a silly girls night - so Mommy will not dissapoint!

    Thank you all again - you are wonderful people.....
     
  25. NicoleMarieLG

    NicoleMarieLG Well-Known Member

    What a good Mama you are :hug:
     
  26. carytwins

    carytwins Member

    Joanna,

    You are certainly going through some 'trying' times here. My wife & I chose to lose one
    of our twins via selective reduction at 21 weeks, due to several abnormalities that pointed
    towards significant problems. It was a very difficult decision and process. A learning experience
    to grow from; for that, I cherish the outcome.

    Having followed some of your posts, I've seen you make comments that come from what I
    consider to be a very healthy perspective. You've said that you know that what happens is
    meant to happen. That is key. If you can reinforce your faith in that, all will be beautiful in
    the end, regardless of the outcome. If we can realize that there is no difference between
    life & death, and that only ego dramatizes our thought processes and allows us to get swept
    up in unnecessary grief & suffering, we can surrender to reality and love what happens, whatever
    happens. Suffering is believing all our thoughts without questioning them. There truly is no
    need for that. Check out any works by Byron Katie and I also recommend Wayne Dyer. Two
    of my favorites, anyway.

    Stay happy and blessed with what you have and all that is.
     
  27. kdanielleflowers

    kdanielleflowers Well-Known Member

    Joanna, you and your babies continue to be in my prayers. I don't know why things happen the way that they do, but I am thankful that you have the outlook and attitude that you do. I know our situations are similar with slight differences that could make all the difference, but I continue to pray for good news for us both. Please let us know how your appt goes today. My wish is that you will have peace with whatever the outcome may be.

    Thinking of you and your family,
    Danielle and the girls
     
  28. ANGELA SHAW

    ANGELA SHAW Well-Known Member

    i think if somthing does happen to him you need to be honest with you daugther, youd be amazed how much you can help each other.
    you need to keep your chin up, tell god your babies are in his hands, and stay off your feet, you and your family are in our prayers lots of love
     
  29. momof5

    momof5 Well-Known Member

    You are giving your son a wonderful comfortable life just by taking care of yourself! I am very sorry he may be going back to God soon. Honestly, I would tell your daughter God needed him back but she will have a little sister. I will keep praying for you. I check for your updates all the time. I lost a baby boy at 16 weeks. One day his heart was beating, the next day it wasn't. I always wondered where I was and what I was doing when his little heart beat for the last time. I finally told myself he knows he was wanted and loved and I truly believe he fell asleep in my belly and woke up in God's arms. I wish you peace and comfort. I am praying for a miracle.
     
  30. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    Had the peri appt yesterday but he didn't tell me anything different than I was told on Wed other than my cervix is fine - unfortunatley still just in limbo for at least another week....
    We had a great Halloween though and my DD got to have so much fun...

    Thank you all again for your thoughts.....
     
  31. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Joanna416 @ Nov 1 2008, 10:14 AM) [snapback]1051290[/snapback]
    Had the peri appt yesterday but he didn't tell me anything different than I was told on Wed other than my cervix is fine - unfortunatley still just in limbo for at least another week....
    We had a great Halloween though and my DD got to have so much fun...

    Thank you all again for your thoughts.....



    So If I read these right, Baby b still has a heart beat right? And he made it another Week? That's good right? Did the Drs offer any new hope?

    We are still keeping you in our prayers and thoughts. We do wish the best for you and babies.
     
  32. Joanna416

    Joanna416 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mollyjm+2 @ Nov 1 2008, 04:01 PM) [snapback]1051398[/snapback]
    So If I read these right, Baby b still has a heart beat right? And he made it another Week? That's good right? Did the Drs offer any new hope?

    We are still keeping you in our prayers and thoughts. We do wish the best for you and babies.


    Yes, he still has a heartbeat and I try to look at that as positive, but the doctors just scratch their heads and say things like "he should have gone by now" so it takes that bit of hope away I guess. I hate feeling so negative, I just don't know what else to do....
    I want him to be here with me, but I don't want him to struggle so much if it wasn't meant to happen. I think I am just in such a state of limbo it's very hard to make heads or tales of everything I am told....
     
  33. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    Again I am so sorry. You did say early that the drs said he feels nothing right now so remember that. As you wait in limbo he is not suffering whatever the outcome. After suffering my own lose in the past I know I can tell you that for however long that baby boy is with you he does have a purpose, he is loved, he is wanted. Just look at all these post, all these people that will never forget him. Im sure it is hard to get your hopes up and I do understand that. Love him while you have him and we will all still pray and hope the best for you and him. We will also rejoice in the strong little girl you have. Bless you, your family, and that baby boy
     
  34. ElisabethCogdill

    ElisabethCogdill Well-Known Member

    I will still be praying, God is in control and with Him all things are possible.
     
  35. kdanielleflowers

    kdanielleflowers Well-Known Member

    I'm still praying for you too. I just wish peace for you and your family. It's great to have a wonderful medical team, but they don't always get it right. You never know what God's plan is. Please keep us posted. We're all rooting for you and your little ones.
     
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