Wanting privacy…

Today we went through some unchartered territory for my boys. They do everything, aside from soccer, together. School, bus, CCD, shared rooms, etc. Around age 5, Nicholas became very modest. He started changing in private, not wanting anyone to see *anything* and would go to great lengths to avoid it. He won't even take his shirt off to change, etc in public(but is fine wearing a bathing suit with no shirt).

They went to go change before we left the house. Lots of screaming, yelling, and eventually crying ensued. From what I gathered, N made it into the bedroom first. He then proceeded to try to lock the bedroom door because he wanted "privacy." Yet, Anthony had to change as well. I think this was their first, REAL, fight. They were both so upset when it was all said and done. 

First and foremost, I said absolutely no locking of any doors, for what if there was a fire and I couldn't get to them. So they understand that. My answer to the privacy issue, I'm not sure was spot on. I said they are brothers, etc. And honestly, if we have to take turns getting dressed in the morning in one room, it's going to add so much time on to the day! Yes, one can change in the bedroom, one in the bathroom. Which is an option. But part of me is like-they are brothers, not complete strangers. 

But then, they are individuals and I need to look at them as such. One would run around the house naked, the other covered in a burka. 

What say you oh wise ones?

 

My girls are also respecting privacy more and more.  For getting ready for school or bed, I have one go into the bathroom and wash face, brush hair and teeth,  while the other gets dressed in the bedroom, and then they switch.  I find they actually get ready quicker because they aren't distracting each other. We are probably moving them to separate bedrooms this winter as well which will also give them both more privacy.  

 

Yeah I'd respect it I think... tell him to close the door, and to his brother to knock when the door is closed to make sure it's ok to get in. And definitely make one change in the bathroom and one in the bedroom. It does seem early though!

 

When it comes to setting boundaries about bodies and privacy I think it's really important to respect that. If their boundaries about their bodies aren't respected by the people closest to them, why would they ever expect anybody outside of their family to respect their boundaries? It's also a good opportunity for Anthony to learn about consent and how important it is, even in the little things.

 

Like other , I do respect the privacy requests. If it adds too much time to your schedule, can they brainstorm some solutions? That can help. Also I see that with my daughter its usually a phase and they will grow out of it.

 

Respect it. The boy who needs privacy can carry his things to the bathroom. I'm not sure I'd care about a locked door so much either. If there was a fire you would probably have time to get the door unlocked or the boy could. They could follow that direction in an emergency I think.

 

The old house, I could unlock the door from the outside. These I can't. Somewhat irrational probably, but the first thing I thought of.

I think this may be a one time deal with them. Both exhausted, starting to get sick, etc. BUT, if and when it comes up again, I'll be ready! Something we definitely need to talk about too as they all get older, etc.

Thanks for the insight!

 

I'm with you on no locked doors!

 

I'd have to agree that I would respect the privacy requests.  One could get changed in the bathroom while the other does so in the bedroom. I am with you on no locked doors.  I would make sure that the kids understand they are not to lock the doors.