We can't tell the kids anything ahead of time or it's major drama

Is this normal and when does it stop?

We can't tell DD anything ahead of time. Can't tell her we're going to do something later, or tomorrow, because she just can't wait and asks every 5 minutes if it's happening now, and when I say later, she cries and cries. It's about anything really. Today it's because I said we were going to put the tree up (kinda late but I just know they're going to get into it so might as well limit the damage). Last week because I said the day before that we were going to get on a train to see Santa. The list goes on...

I'm pretty sad about it because it means we won't be able to tell her that Christmas is the next day on 24th, or she will not want to go to bed/cry when we put her in bed. DS gets disappointed when I say 'not yet' but that's about it. I mean, we're not even able to prepare them for ANYTHING. We could go on a car trip tomorrow and we wouldn't be able to know about it! Aren't you supposed to let your kids know ahead of time when something is coming?

I'm just confused. She's my difficult one, always throwing tantrums about anything all day...

 

With my two, I can't tell them anything ahead of time because they will ask a million questions. Also if you want to keep something a surprise, don't tell my kids :laughing:
I think, especially at this age, they have no concept of time. My kids ask me every day if this is the day that Santa has come. I tell them not yet.
With your DD, it could be frustrating for her not understanding that what you tell her is going to happen does not happen right that instant. I don't see anything wrong with telling kids this age that something is happening on the day of the event, or right before it happens.

 

I don't tell my kids much ahead of time. If I do, I tell them how long by sleeps. Like there are 8 sleeps until Christmas. It's a learning curve, but they get it after a while.

 

This could be a good time to implement a calendar for important events, think an Advent calendar for more than xmas.

We do a countdown calendar for things, like we have 6 days until we drive to FL, there are however many days until xmas, they're going to be out of school for seven school days, and school days are only Monday-Friday.

 

Same here. This year I decided to take each of them out to buy a present for the other. I took Jake to Target and he picked out a robot. The entire trip I told him it was a suprise for Josh for Christmas. As he got out of the car when we got home, I reminded him again. We walk in the house and he says "Joooooosh, I got you a robot!" :faint:

Multiple times a day I also get asked by Jake "Is Christmas over yet?". He REALLY wants it to be over because their birthday is 2 weeks later.

Unless I know 110%, I do not tell them what we are doing until that day. There have been many times our plans change and then I'm dealing with two unhappy kids.

 

At this age they still don't have a concept of how time passes. They have very concrete minds too. Mine still ask occasionally if blah is happening tomorrow when we discussed it being in a week

 

This is both DD and DS. It is not only with special events, but even saying we are going grocery shopping in the morning. They cry because they can't wait until the next day to go to the store and REPEATEDLY ask if it is time to go yet. I guess when you are that age it is hard to contain the excitement over going some place, but I think they are just trying to get control over their emotions.

Now after the mind numbing repeated questions and crying we have learned to not say anything until about 10-15 minutes before we are leaving the house. We are going to the movies tomorrow for example, but of course I can't say anything specific. When they saw me preparing DS's special snacks (he is allergic to the movie theater popcorn and candy) I say things like "I think Alvin is going to be at the movie theater soon so I am getting ready just in case". I hate sounding like I have no idea what is going on, but it saves my sanity.

I now understand why my sister had a no questions for the first 10 minutes of a car ride when my nephew when he was this age. I thought she was taking things a bit far, but repeated questions can drive you over the edge and when you multiply that by two it is even worse. I also can't stand the crying and hysterics over when we are going somewhere, so we don't tell the twins anything ahead of time anymore and it drives me nuts when someone like my mom will slip up and say something like "Grandma can't wait for you to come to her house on Friday" when it is Monday :headbang:

I keep thinking this phase will pass soon, but then I worry about will replace it and if it will be worse.

 

i use sleeps! "2 more sleeps until we go to grandma and grandpa's..." "4 more sleeps until your birthday..." i also put up a calendar for them to look at and i show them that way. they know now to count down every day ("now 3 more sleeps? now 2 more sleeps?" ) and it's also helped with the endless questions about it.

 

We did a countdown calender this summer for our vacation and they loved it! My girls are about the same way. They do much much much better about it now than this time last year or even less than a year ago. We had gotten to wear most big trips were a surprise. They do pretty good now just asking when we will go, etc. They have advent calenders this year so that has helped to ease the questioning of when Christmas will get here, lol

 

For bigger things like vacations, Holidays, etc. we like to use paper chains. They can physically see and count how many days they have left and remove a piece each day. Time is a tough concept for them to get.

 

Same as pp we do it by the number of sleeps. We started off with less exciting things until they got the hang of it, but I still only tell them a few days ahead of time now.

 

I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this. I try not to tell them anything prior to the day it is gonna happen.I usually wait till it is time to get dressed. Then its only about 1/2 hour to deal with the questions.