We don't call them "the twins"

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Shohenadel, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. Shohenadel

    Shohenadel Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure why, but we never call Sarah and Rachael, "the twins." Something about the term just rubs me the wrong way. I mean I have no problem with other people calling their own twins, "the twins" but we just haven't really used that term for some reason. I do tell people that I have twins or that they are twins...I just don't refer to them as "the twins." I thought maybe it's because it's like referring to them as a unit, but I don't think that's why it actually bothers me. Because I do tend to call them "the babies" or "the babes" though....which is kind of weird now because they are 3 YEARS OLD!!! ha! ha!!! But I think I'm just avoiding calling them "the twins." You can't really call them "the toddlers" or "the little girls" so I might just call them "the babies" forever! Since we have 4 girls (ages 8, 6 and 3 year old twins) I think they will just always be my babies in my eyes! I know this seems really weird. I was wondering if anyone else has an aversion to this term????

  2. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Nope you are not alone. We call the older ones the big kids (10 and 5), and the twins are the babies. Although now they argue with me about it..."No my not a baby, my big boy/girl!!!!" So I'm not really sure what to call them right now, since they don't like me using babies. Sometimes I'll say the little kids, but usually I say that when i refer to the 3 youngest ones. Like you, I avoid calling them the twins, because they are two individuals, but I still refer to them as a unit! Yes....I feel crazy sometimes! :lol:
  3. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I usually refer to my two as the littles. I hardly ever say the twins although I don't know why. It doesn't really bother me, I just don't say it for some reason.
  4. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Add me to the list. It's always "the girls" here. Don't know why I avoid "the twins".
  5. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    The boys here. I adore that they are twins, but I guess I don't want it to be their only identity.
  6. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    Me too. I love that they're twins and have no worries about them having identity issues since they're soooo different. But I never call them the twins. It sounds funny to me. The only time I ever use that phrase is occasionally on here when I'm differentiating between them and the rest of my kids. But the vast majority of they time they're Sydney and Sabrina (and yes almost always in that order) or "the girlies" which is kind of silly since I also have an older daughter.
  7. emp59

    emp59 Well-Known Member

    I also dislike people referring to them as "the twins". I'm so concerned about people viewing them simply as a unit, especially mt family members. I do call them "the girls" all of the time, but I figure I would do the same even if they were 2 years apart :) If #3 is a girl, then I don't know what we will do!
  8. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I never really thought about it until reading this thread...but I don't call them the twins and I don't think I ever have.
    My DH and I call them the squirts. They used to be the babies but now they are 4 and if you even remotely infer that they are babies, you got corrected.
  9. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I don't call them "the twins" either, but I don't actively dislike calling them "the twins". I do say that they "are" or I "have twins". Since they're our only kids, they're the kids, munchkins, rugrats, or Alice&Royce (one word). Daycare calls them "The twin giraffes" meaning, the set of twins in the giraffe class. Our old daycare called them "the twins", as in "get the twins ready to go home". So I guess when they are referring to them as a unit, they use the term. It really doesn't bug me at all either way.

    If I had more children, I might call them "the twins" to differentiate them from the rest, but we'll never know for certain. :lol:
  10. TwinxesMom

    TwinxesMom Well-Known Member

    I never call them the twins to their face but if referring to them I do sometimes. Mostly it's just the girls
  11. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    I don't usually refer to my twins as the twins either. I have NO idea why? They are usually ". The girls" or "your sisters" I clump my older kids as the bigs and the younger ones as the littles. To a stranger I will say "my twins"
  12. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    I usually say either their names or "the boys". Maybe because we have lots of twins in our family and no one says "the twins"? I'm not sure why "the twins" bothers me, but I guess it feels to me like that lumps them together and makes them sound like one person?
  13. twinmom2dana

    twinmom2dana Well-Known Member

    Never "the twins". Usually we call them "the boys" and since we've had another, JoJo sometimes gets lumped in there. When referring to all of them, I am known to say "Frick, Frack, Fro, and the other 2" But that's just me...
  14. cjk2002

    cjk2002 Well-Known Member

    That is how I feel about it. Certain members of my DH's family will refer to them as "the twins" and it drives me :gah:

    I call them "the or my boys".
  15. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    I've never called my girls "the twins." I struggle putting to words why it bothered me, but I've always asked our family and close friends to avoid the term as well.

    I guess I just see plenty of opportunity in their future for them to be recognized as twins and I don't want them to feel as if this single term is what defines their individual identities? Does that make sense? Also, I think (based on my childhood) that girls have plenty of other obstacles in developing self esteem, individuality, and confidence without adding another thing to the mix. I'm sure that classmates, teachers, and friends in the future will refer to them as "the twins" but I choose not to.

    I call them my girls, the chickens, Alexis and Samantha, and my babies. :)
  16. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    'the kids' here. But I can see how sometimes you don't have the choice if you have other kids of the same sex or something. But yes... not too fond of the term, it kinda sucks growing up being one of 'the twins'.
  17. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Makes sense to me! I think the whole world (pretty much) views them as a set. I don't want to nor do I like it when people close to me do. Just by me always saying their names or the boys I don't have this problem. Close friends and grandparents just sort of follow my example about it. I don't think mine know they are twins at all - just brothers - and see no reason to tell them until they ask. I think they know the term, though, as I'm always answering questions in front of them in public about it.
  18. Kendra

    Kendra Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Our parents never called us "the twins" (we were/are still "the girls") and mom has actually had to stop and think when people as her how "the twins" are.

    And this:

    Is my sister's biggest peeve. We both work in day care and she has gone off on co-workers who use "the twins". Of course, now she has one co-worker who gets all stupid about even saying the word "twin" when I'm at her work and the older kids kinda freak about my looking like her. It's not the word its the unit-ing she is objecting to. (right now Connie has 22 month old identicals in her group - they call me "notConnie)
  19. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    It's really no different to me if they say "the Lastnames" or "The twin giraffes" or even "Sabrina's twins in her class". Is there really a difference between calling twins "Twins" or "The girls/boys/littles/big kids"? It's all making multiple people into one unit. I don't see how it's really that bad if someone says the twins. It's not something that I do because "the twins" are my boobs, but I don't see what the issue really is. Maybe it's because my two are opposite sex?
    1 person likes this.
  20. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree, Bex, unless you are calling them by their individual names all the time, they are still being lumped into a unit, the same as siblings who are not twins tend to get lumped together. I see no harm in it, it is easier to say "the kids" than list 5 names, but it doesn't make any of them less of an individual.
    2 people like this.
  21. Shohenadel

    Shohenadel Well-Known Member

    I don't see any harm in it.... I don't know why it bothers me?? Maybe "bothers" me is too strong a word. I mean I don't obsess about it or anything...just a thought that popped into my head recently when I heard someone refer to them as "the twins." I was just wondering if I was the only one...I guess not! :)

  22. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    I am guilty of calling them the babies. Or if just one of them, the baby. As in "the baby needs me right now". I refer to them as Henry and Jacob as does daycare.
  23. cheesehead4girl

    cheesehead4girl Well-Known Member

    we don't call them "the twins" here either. they're either haven & holden or the kids. other people sometimes call them "the twins" but it doesn't bother me. after someone called them "the twins" recently, they came to me and said "we're twins". :) they were kinda excited about it!

  24. NINI H

    NINI H Well-Known Member

    We call ours "the twins" or " the "little boys". The older boys are the "big boys". I don't see a problem with it. They know who they are and it doesn't matter to them. The only thing they don't like, is if they are called their twin's name several times in one day. The older boys friends get a kick out of trying to guess who is who. Being a twin is part of their identity, not all, but a part nonetheless. I've never seen the issue on this matter. If it bothered them then I'd curb the usage.
  25. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    Bex and Tina, that's the part that I can't explain well (because family has used similar objections). My thought is that twinness has the potential to define Alexis or Samantha's identity. If we don't foster individuality and independence they could cross the line from sisters to some sort of codependency.

    Am I crazy? It wouldn't be the first time I completely over thought something. ;)
  26. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    We call them the "little guys" to separate them out from their big brother if we are referencing something that just applies to them. When talking about all three boys, we call them the boys or the kids. :)
  27. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    I call my girls "the girls," "my lady bugs," "my sweetie-p's," etc etc, but never the twins. For me, "the twins" are my 38 year old cousins who are STILL referred to as the twins in my family. They each have their own lives and their own families, but my whole family still refer to them that way. Real conversation between my mom and me: Me: Who's coming to the party? Mom: One of the twins and her family. Me: Which one? Mom: I don't know. :wacko: And that is why calling my girls the twins bothers me.
  28. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Nope, you are not crazy, or at least if you are crazy, so are a lot of other twin parents I have talked to about similar subjects. I guess if I were in your shoes I might feel the same way, but having b/g twins I know they are not as likely to become codependent as same sex (especially identical) twins, so it has never been an issue in my mind. But maybe I subconsciously do have an issue with it too, because, like I said, I never refer to my two as the twins either!
  29. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    No particular aversion here. When talking to the children themselves I never call the older girls twins because I have the easy option of saying "girls" (as in "girls come and sit at the table") but I do occasionally call Naomi and Luke "twinnies" which is something their dad started. It's mostly used when they're messing about-e.g. if they hug me one on each side we say they're making a Zoƫ sandwich with twinnie bread.
    In terms of talking about them to other people, again I would rarely use "the twins" for Alyssa and Bryony because with most people I can just say "the girls". If it was someone I didn't know as well, or if there was a possibility of confusion about Naomi being included, I might say "the older twins" or "the twin girls". I do say "the twins" as an easy grouping term for N and L, although it's almost always when talking to their parents, again because it's something they do that's rubbed off. To other people I would normally just say both names.
    I agree with this. I guess what it comes down to for me is I don't have a problem with using "the twins" where it would feel normal to use another collective noun. I think the problem with it is if they almost never get called anything else or if people start using it to make them one unit where it's not appropriate.
  30. NicoleLea

    NicoleLea Well-Known Member

    I have never called our girls "the twins". Don't really know why...just never have. I always refer to them as "the girls" if I am talking to people about them. Maybe because even though they are identical I have never viewed them as "together". Ever since they were born I saw them as their own separate little people. We never really even dressed them alike. We always wanted them to been seen as their own person.
  31. SC

    SC Well-Known Member

    We also NEVER refer to our boys as "twins." One of my best friends also has ID twins and only refers to them as "the twins." Maybe that turned me off a little, I don't know. My Mom always commented on how she didn't like the term "twins," so maybe that factored in, too.
    But, really, I don't think there is one particular reason we don't and I'm not particularly averse to the term, it just didn't come naturally to us to call them that.
    The term is so foreign to me that when some of my friends ask about the "twins," I have to remind myself that they're talking about my kids.
    We call them the "boys" and now with the birth of our third son, they're the "older boys."
  32. Shohenadel

    Shohenadel Well-Known Member

    That is hysterical!!!!! And that is exactly why I think it bothers me too.
  33. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    Exactly... I hated being called 'the twins' for that reason. We have names, you know!

    And no, 'the girls' etc isn't the same at all... there are way more girls or boys than twins out there. I don't mind being reminded that I'm a girl, but being reminded yet again that I have a twin sisters and that I'm part of a set is really old.
  34. ddancerd1

    ddancerd1 Well-Known Member

    i don't call mine "the twins". just "the girls" or "my girls". everyone else calls them 'the twins'... i think cuz THEY think it's so cool, and it sounds cool... it does bother me a little bit. it IS cool to have twins, i LOVE it, but i don't want them looked at as one. it's hard enough that my girls are so totally attached to each other they can't be separated (whole other issue), i don't need others encouraging it by referring to them as a unit, a package deal, etc...
  35. maryjfb

    maryjfb Member

    I don't call them "the twins", either. I call them "the girlies", by their names or "our daughters". We used to call them "the babies", but they are almost 4 now and they always say, "we aren't babies!" It just made me feel a little weird, referring to them as "the twins".
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