Well now I feel like a jerk

We had a tough day at Casa Boehmer... fighting, messes, rule-breaking, destructo, not listening to the teachers, throwing perfectly good food out that I asked them not to eat, wrecking part of my honey harvest, ripping their curtain down, throwing my pillows off the balcony, dumping water all over the floor from the ice dispenser. All of this happened in the three 15 minute periods I left them alone today to shower, fold some laundry, and then look up some school information. I was a complete jerk, flipped out, yelled, and sent them to bed at 6 pm without supper (because they busted into the fridge and ate month old? raw hot dogs after I told them not to touch the hot dogs at least 5 times today. I know I should have just thrown them out, but I kept forgetting in between putting out fires over their mania). I spent the next two hours scrubbing the floor from orange juice that got spilled from here to eternity, and generally undoing all the mess and chaos from the last few days. I was SO mad and horrible to everyone.
 
Just as they were about to go to sleep at 8:30, I took them water, and Miles asked if we could go on a date tomorrow because he wanted to go on a walk with me. At least he still loves me, I guess?
 
Any other parenting fails out there?

 

You mean like everyday?  I probably have a parenting fail every day.
1.  Being mad or annoyed at the kids and then they pull a Miles and are like, "I love you Mommy, you are the best, I hope we can spend the day together soon..."
2. Getting in the car and not only forgetting to buckle them in but also forgetting to shut the car door.
3. Thinking one child was out of the car when that child wasn't...I locked the car and was ready to go in the house when I hear a knock on the window and "MOMMY!  I'M STILL HERE!"
4. Having to remind myself at least once a day, they are kids not little adults
 
But honestly with all that going on, I can totally see why you lost it.  I have had a days like that with mine and have totally lost it.  I tell them when I am not so mad, Mommy should not have flipped out like that but I also need you to listen to what I tell you to do or not do, so things move more smoothly around here...

 

Yah I definitely would have lost it a lot sooner.    I tend to get all wound up during the day with my almost 3-year old, he's just at that age where he's a little jerk ALL. THE. TIME. Then when the boys get home they do one little thing and I just lose it.  Then one says "Mom, I'm sorry you had a bad day" and then the twins will take my toddler terror to his room or outside and play with him for awhile.   Hopefully I'm not doing any permanent damage to any of them...

 

Oh you're so not alone!!! It's been better lately, but yeah, we've had some really rough days when I felt awful afterwards. The super cute moments like you describe don't really happen that much around here though...

 

On Monday I gave my girls an umbrella to walk into school (we have to park on the street, cross in front of all the other parents attempting to do the same, walk down the length of the school, and stand outside until they open the doors at 7:45). As soon as I handed them the umbrella, they forgot how to walk. Turning in complete circles in the middle of the road, tripping, yanking the umbrella back and forth between them. All while traffic is stopped for us to cross.

I snatched the umbrella and, in front of the St Peters CATHOLIC SCHOOL families, snapped "oh, Jesus Christ, we will practice this another day!"

You just can't take me anywhere..

 

Heh, you said "peters".
 
I'm so totally not a jerk.  Yet.  The day is still young.

 

Grocery shopping two evenings ago- My children were wild beasts.. I was that mom "are you freaking kidding me?  can you act like the big 7 year olds you are?!"  In their defense it was after 5pm and they were probably hungry and tired.  In my defense it was after 5pm and I was probably hungry and tired.  

 

I'm a jerk pretty much every day over something or other. My patience levels are in the negatives these days and sometimes our little space cadet (Rea) just drives me absolutely batsh*t crazy. Like when we're getting ready to leave in the morning and she decides to make up a dance routine or take 20 minutes to get her socks "just right." 
 
And the bickering back and forth the entire way to or from school as they talk over each other, etc, just makes me so frustrated. 

 

I'm sorry Steph, but I'm cracking up. I can totally picture that scene and those words flying out of my mouth. I would have died of hysterical laughing once I said it!

From previous posts...lol...I'm on edge as soon as the kids come home. In my quiet defense, I have *a lot* going on in the background that weighs heavy on my mind, but I try not to. But I think it's always there...

So when kids don't listen, fight, bicker, whine, cry-I'm very short. Nicholas gets the brunt of it. And he will say, "why are you so mean to me!" Annabella started up with it yesterday too. She's exhausted after school, I put her down for a nap. Woke her after an hour, and she proceeded to want to eat, do this, that, etc. I was in the garage trying to hurry up and get it cleaned out so I could park my car in there before the winter.

And to show dh I don't totally suck and can get stuff done.

And she followed me crying and whining about food etc. Ugh.

God. I could cry. He doesn't deserve it. They don't. I'm...tired. People think you are this wonderful parent, when you certainly don't feel it.

 

We're having a tough time getting ready in the mornings right now - mostly because Emmett wants to play with his sisters but then they forget they're supposed to be getting ready for school. Yesterday, I yelled (like full on yelled) at my 2 year old 3 times before 8 am because he wouldn't leave the girls alone. And he started crying and said "Mommy, I sad, I have tears. I wuv you!" And I felt like such a turd.

 

This morning DD refused to put her shoes on to go to school. We yelled. Oh well.

 

Okay no, I am the worst.
 
This morning I asked the kids, on the way to school, it was early and I wasn't finished my coffee (that's my defense) what they wanted to be for Halloween. Cooper says "A tiger!" So then Lily says "A Cheerleader with pom poms" and in my head I think "this is going to be so cute! Mike the Tiger and a LSU Cheerleader!" and then Amelia says "I want to be a princess" :bad:
 
Without thinking I said "that is the least unique least exciting costume I have ever heard of. You were a princess last year!"
 
She started to cry.
 
I told her sorry, it was okay, she can be a princess. Ugh.
 
I can't help but think - how much cuter would Mike the Tiger with 2 cheerleaders be?

 

Let me join the club. I still feel terrible about yesterday afternoon. DS wanted to start a sport and we are happy about that because he really has too much energy to burn and needs to practise being with other kids before he leaves our scheltered pre-school plus K next year and moves to a large elementary school for first grade. So, yesterday I took him to the gym for a first session and he was so painfully shy that he sat on my lap the whole session and would not participate or even tell the coach his name. Although I know how shy he is and although I was the same as a kid I got really annoyed and short with him (instead of reassuring him) just because it felt leike we were wasting a whole afternoon, DD had to come and sit and watch instead of playing, the baby was crying because it was time for his afternoon nap and it was too loud and busy in the gym hall for him to settle, and I had a splitting headache which got worse from all the noise and I hate sitting around doing nothing anyway.
 
I feel so bad for him because I had anticipated a reaction like this but in the situation I just lost it.

 

On the way to school today I got totally annoyed because Jason was trying to tell me something from the back of the van. Now normally my children operate at full volume and should come decibel warnings. This morning? He was mumbling. And then had the nerve to get annoyed at having to repeat himself. And then said, "You don't think what I have to say is important." WHAT?! Really kid? Because you are mumbling from the back of the van and I can't hear you, you're going to play the poor me card? I didn't say that. Instead I rolled my eyes and just said, "Whatever dude." And then I told them both it was radio time and we just needed to listen to the radio. 
 
I hate mumbling. 

 

Gina, I hate mumbling too.  My mom is a mumbler (she is better now after years of me and my Dad complaining about it) and when my kids do it, it sets me crazy!!
 
Aimee, my kids have not wanted to coordinate costumes for years...I think since they were 2.  It is such a cute idea and I've shot down costume ideas before just because I don't like the idea or it would be too much work.  For example, Luke wants to be Olaf from Frozen this year and you'd think Sophia would want to be Anna or Elsa...but no.  She wants to be Hello Kitty.  And she was a cat last year.

 

I'm there with you on most days and now I'm thinking I'm being a jerk at work.    I try to be positive.. I really do!  I think what do I want to hear about my child at school.  Do I want to know the truth or sugar coating?  I'd rather not be surprised come conferences or IEP meeting, that's for sure.  Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to work VERY hard to realize that it is a kindergartener I'm working with and he should not be expected to be perfect. 
 
My own kids.. ugh.  I'm glad they love me so much!  Miss A bonked her head on the corner of her desk yesterday and it bled like you wouldn't believe!  I totally blamed her brother (who looked guilty), but then SHE wouldn't give me a straight answer as to how she got hurt, so I know that she was the instigator.  I called Mr. C on the way to the ER to apologize.  He sounded so 'down' when he said hello.  I felt like crap.

 

the other day, the girls were making a mess at dinner (seriously, they're the biggest pigs), and I was going off for like 10 minutes about how we don't live in a barn, and when are they going to learn to eat like people and not cows... etc etc etc... and marina just says, "mama, you're so beautiful.  I just love you and youre so beautiful."  i felt so bad after that lol