What would be the ideal age of your twins to welcome a new baby?

Because we had IVF and I am a teacher dh and I are talking about "our plan" for the next round. We are trying to think about when would be the best time for us to consider having a new one (or two?- YIKES!)

What would be your choice and why? Or how did you do it and why- how did it work?

Thanks!

 

Because we had IVF and I am a teacher dh and I are talking about "our plan" for the next round. We are trying to think about when would be the best time for us to consider having a new one (or two?- YIKES!)

What would be your choice and why? Or how did you do it and why- how did it work?

Thanks!

 

Well, since I'm the only one who voted 3+ so far, I thought I would explain.

I have PCOS and we had to use injectible meds + IUI to get our girls. We initially conceived quads but lost 2. I only had 5 follicles on that cycle (3 on the cycle before produced a early m/c) and DH hit 4 of them! So, the way I see it, our chances of multiples the next time is pretty high. I would like the girls to be at least 3, preferably in pre-school before I bring another set of multiples into the picture. Of course, I would hope for a singleton but you never know... DH would poop himself if we had twins (or more) again. LOL!

 

A baby at anytime is a blessing. But I am a teacher as well but am staying at home at the moment.
First of all with twins, expensives like preschool is something to keep in mind.
I think at 3 or older where the kids get it and can be helpers etc. I would want to enjoy this next baby since the twins were so overwhelming.
Hope everything works out for you!

 

We had our last baby when teh twins were 3 1/2. Whe nteh twins were born, our son was only 21 mos. We noticed a HUGE difference. Our twins were old enought that their behavior was much more predictable and they were much more cooperative. I know adding 2 babies at once can be overwhelming to any child so that may have been a factor when teh twins came along. My first born was very resentful and very difficult. I can't blame it all on teh twins because 2-3 years can be a challenging time. I feel with this baby, the twins were more accepting and there was no apparent jealousy. My oldest has been in love with his sister since she was born and loves to keep her entertained. I have really been able to enjoy her as well as a result. The twins are potty trained, in preschool and able to do many things-dress, brush teeth, etc by themselves as compared to my first born whenteh twins came along.

 

We're in the same boat with IVF. We put in 2 on our first try and got twins, so we're thinking there's a good chance we'll get two again. And we have 6 frosties. We're going in to see our doctor in February (the girls will be 1) to talk about the process for FET.

 

The ideal age for me would be about 4. This way they are potty trained, more capable of doing things on their own AND helping me out a bit! Plus if they were in preschool or a day program like that i would be able to spend time with just the baby.
I babysat yesterday for my friends 3 month old son and my boys were SOOO jealous! i just dont think they would like another baby for a while!

 

My girls are 3 3/4 right now and I think it's great!! (we are expecting our little guy anyday now) I'll let you know after the baby is born how that goes for us. THe girls can "go get" their shoes, coats, dress themselves, go potty on their own, clean up after themselves and more. I think they will be great little helpers too. They way DH and I saw it was that the ideal age gap between our children would be 2 years apart...so we thought we'd give oursellves 4-5 years after the twins to have another. We aren't too far off from that. =)

 

I voted 2.5-3 but with the way my luck is going they will be in school before it happens for me. Me and DH have been trying a while... a long while. I know it will happen when the time is right though.

 

I voted for 4yrs+. Our boys are almost 3yrs and the thought of having a newborn right now seems like alot. 3kids under the age of 3yrs, is alot of work...no matter what way you slice it! While our boys have matured in many areas, they still have many needs to be met. Meals, going to the potty, bathing, personal hygiene, helping with activities, assistance in getting dressed..shoes and coat on. While they can jump in and out of the car and into their carseats, we rarely use the stroller anymore(protests from the peanut gallery). Holding both their hands and carrying an infant carrier alone would be tough. After 4yrs+, I think that they advance on a number of levels.

It's a very personal decision. Some people have their children very close together and do great! . If you're planning, I think alot has to do with evaluating your personality, the amount of hands on help you have, your current children's temperment,etc. My Dh works long hours and I'm a SAHM, so it's me, myself and I until after 7pm+ weekdays. I'm content with where things are for now. I'm able to provide the attention they need and also able to enjoy doing loads of outside activities with them. Just my perspective. Whenever a baby arrives, its a blessing and everything falls into place..somehow. Good luck!

 

My girls were 20 months old when we had our son. It was perfect for us..even though scary when we found out we were pregnant. If I could of had a choice..I would have done it the exact same way. They are perfect together..and some people ask if they are triplets.

Brandy

 

My 1st set of twins are 4 years older than the 2nd set. I always wanted them close in age but love the difference now. My older boys were potty trained and super helpers.
Christine

 

Most of these answers scare me as we just did an FET and are awaiting the results. If it works, our twins will be 1 month shy of being 3 when the next baby would arrive. (We only put one in this time.) I thought 3 years difference would be enough, but maybe not! Ha! I think adding another child no matter what age would present new challenges. Somehow, God gives us the strength to survive it all.
Wishing you the best with your decision,
kate

 

We are doing IVF again at the end of January - it will make the kids almost 2.5 yrs apart.

I think we would like them to be older but IVF is no guarantee and that is why we are starting early.

We are going to wait on potty training until after the new baby(ies) arrive so they won't start potty training until 3 yrs. But, they will be in big boy beds and will be able to dress themselves so it will be a big help....I HOPE!

Good luck to you!

 

I voted 3 yrs +. Only because I am only 20 right now and DP is 21. He is trying to finish school so he can finally start his "real" job. Once he starts his job we want to get pregnant right away (or how my DP put it "I want you pregnant the NIGHT I graduate from school! lol!) I want to be settled in a "real" house too. I want the girls to be in school so I can enjoy the one baby (hopefully one). I feel like we were just so crazy busy when the girls were newborns and I didn't get to cherish every little moment. Good luck with your decision!

 

We had originally talked about having our 3rd when the boys were 3 but Gods plan is for them to be 2 years and 2 months.

 

We had our DD when the boys had just turned 2. However with the experience I currently have I think that 3 would have been better. The year would really make a difference. I can already see it in the last 6 mo and I can only imagine how much more mature they would be in 6 more.That said if you want another one whenever it happens will always be a good time for your family and you always find ways to manage whatever comes your way.

 

I voted another baby are you crazy? My reason for that is while I would love to have another baby right this second, I had my tubes tied. I am starting to regret it, but the reason I did it, is because I am 25 and single with 3 kids, living with my mom and just barely getting by! If I had to pay rent, we would be homeless, that is the truth, I could never afford rent in the area we live in with diapers and everything else. Besides, we have a good thing going, yeah all 3 are in diapers still, but for the most part they sleep thru the night, I don't know if I could start all over again, even as much as I would love to turn back time to when the babies were tiny and needed me so much! I think my next baby will be in 20+ years when I have grand kids!

 

I didn't answer because there are pros and cons to every age difference. I definitely would have waited until after 18 months old, but that's the only stipulation for me. It's good for the older babies to be walking, playing a little bit independently, and be able to feed themselves before bringing another baby into the picture.

Other than that, the closer in age they are together, the more likely they are to play together with the same toys. If you wait a couple of years, then you can potty-train the twins and only have one baby in diapers. Older twins can also help and play independently a lot better than 2 year olds. Every few months of age that the twins get under their belts increases their abilities. I can see a huge difference in how independent my are just in the last few months.

 

Well mine girls were about 2 1/2 mths shy of their 4th birthaday when I had my son. I like how independent they are and they help me out a lot. I like that they can keep him company while I run to the bathroom or something. My girls were jealous for maybe the first month especially Katrina but then when they accepted him it has been great. I do wish they were atleast a year closer in age though (we tried but it just didn't workout for us getting pregnant) because right now while they are young they like him but I know when they get older he will be left out a lot since he is so much younger. But like the pp said there are pros and cons for any age and it's really what you and you husband want especially since you have a higher chance of multiples again.

 

voted 18-24 mo b/c my girls are both into baby dolls right now and into mothering and i think it would be fun for them to have a younger sibling or 2. BUT, if i could vote twice, I would say, most days 2 is enough for me! i'd go crazy if I had 1-2 more kids.

 

Our boys will be 2 yrs when the new one is born so we're hoping they'll be OK with it. Joe is pretty laid back but Jake can get very jealous but we're hoping he'll be good by the time the baby comes. We've also been having more play groups with the neighbors so it seems the boys are doing a lot better with other kids so that'll be good too. I think that whatever works for YOU is important as every family and situation is different. Good luck with your decision!!! We had actuallly planned on the boys being our ONLY kids but this new little boy had other plans (we're almost 20 weeks along now )
Jen

 

I voted 'are you crazy!' Though I really do respect others decisions to have more children... I just can't fathom anymore. I love my babies so much, but I think they have satisfied all my maternal needs.. plus some sleep at some point in the next few years would be great!!

 

Wow! Thank you all so much for your responses. I agree with everyone who said either way, children are a blessing and things always work themselves out. Going through infertility already taught my husband and I this valuable lesson, and we realize the unpredictability of these things! I am such a planner, and since IVF takes some planning I figured might as well weigh the pros and cons, right?! Thank you all for your input and advice! It has been very helpful and I am sure you will all be a wonderful support and tons of help down the road when we decide to go for it! Thanks for sharing!