Whats good age spacing?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by E&Msmom, Apr 8, 2012.

  1. E&Msmom

    E&Msmom Well-Known Member

    This might be the wrong forum, but wondering what others think is good spacing for children?

    Our twins are 4, and our younger daughter is 2. They were not quite 22 months apart and it was a little rough. We want to have one more, and we *think* we are going to try in the fall. The youngest turns 3 in December so depending on when we got pregnant, she would be 3.5 & the twins 5.5 when the new baby would come.

    What do you guys this is good age gap?
     
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My girls were 3.5 when Emmett was born. We had originally planned for a closer age gap but had an early miscarriage in between. At any rate what I like about the girls being the age they are is that they're old enough to understand why the baby needs a lot of my time without being too upset about it, I'm comfortable leaving them alone for a bit while I tend to the baby and they're both big helpers. One thing that's been tough is that they get bored being at home so much but with Emmett still needing to nap all the time that's the way the cookie crumbles.
     
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  3. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    My favorite was actually the 21 months between my oldest two. But of course my oldest wasn't twins and was a pretty easy going child. She was walking and talking just a little. She was quite able to follow directions and be somewhat helpful. And she doesn't remember life without Trey. I think it made there be less of an issue for her feeling displaced when he was born. The hardest on any of my kids was also the longest, about 3.5 years between the girlies and Spencer. Sabrina totally reverted on potty training and though she loved Spencer, she really had a hard time not being the baby, so to speak. They're twins, but personality wise she's much more "needy" than Sydney who is miss independent. I think it would have been easier on her (and so on the rest of us), if she'd been younger when he was born.

    But really, I think it varies a lot based on family circumstances and personalities of the kids.
     
  4. babyhopes09

    babyhopes09 Well-Known Member

    I think this is a great question! Our girls were 16 months when our DS was born and this was an incredibly close age gap.. which has its good and difficult points.. we would really like another baby sometime down the road because we just don't feel like our family is complete yet without a 4th. Most people think we are nuts but sometimes we think closer in age is better because they are all going through the baby phase together, but honestly I don't know if my body and my mind could take another pregnancy and baby anytime in the near future. We are thinking of waiting until our girls are 3 and our son is a year and a half and then trying. We also do not want 3 very close in age and then one baby much younger than the others..
     
  5. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    I love our 2.75 years between ours. the twins were old enough to 'get it,' and independent enough to let me deal with a baby. it did help that Evan really did sleep his entire first year! He was my great sleeper!
     
  6. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    I absolutely love the 3.5 years between our oldest DS and our twin boys.
     
  7. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Honestly, whatever age gap you have/get, will work for you ;) There's going to be good and bad points about any age range.

    We wanted our kids closer together, 2.5-3 yrs apart is what we hoped for. Unfortunately we had fertility issues. Sean was 4.5 when Kaelyn was born, and it was nice that he was in 4K preschool every morning, he was old enough to get his own snack from the cupboard, and I kept a juice jug in the fridge with a little spout that he could get his own juice with. He was a big helper, getting diapers and wipes, clean clothes...etc for her, and he could watch her for a few minutes while I went into another room. While I wish they were closer, it was still nice.

    We started trying for #3 when Kaelyn was 6 months old, hoping the age gap would be less. It still took us awhile to get and keep a pregnancy, and she was 2.5 yrs old when the twins were born. Sean was 7. It was insane! It was pretty rough for about 6 months. She started 3K right before she turned 3, which helped out. Sean was amazing, at 7 yrs old he could feed the twins, help change their clothes, help me get Kaelyn snacks and juice...etc. I'm glad it didn't take us longer to conceive the twins, but honestly, Kaelyn being a little bit older might have been less stressful on me! ;)

    Now, my kids are 10, 5.5 and 3 yr old twins, and things are wonderful. I love having a big brother who's help is invaluable!! Kaelyn is even old enough to watch the twins in the bathtub, help them clean up toys, get them snacks...etc. Now that our kids are here, I don't think I'd change much of anything! ;)
     
  8. SC_Amy

    SC_Amy Well-Known Member

    Great question! I am hoping to have one more but DH doesn't feel ready to even talk about it yet. Our twins turned 3 in January so at this rate our kids would be 4.5-5 years apart if we do have another.
     
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