Whining about whining

OMG, the whining has to end. I don't know what brought about this evil phase, but I would like to stab my eardrums out. If one wants milk, the other wants water. Until they get what they want, then they want the other thing. One wants in the car, one wants to go for a walk. Both want MINI WHEATS RIGHT NOW. Want to be tucked in, want a drink of water, want to sit on the potty, no wait, want to change a diaper, want a snack, want to go THIS WAY, want that, want toys, want to watch Dragons, no! Cars! No SPIGAMAN. SPIGAMAN. DOC OCK! want, want, want, want. And then there's bedtime. Where they run out of their room 5000 times and when that fails to entertain they start to beat each other up and whine about it.

By 9 am today I was wishing that the day would end.. 12 hours later they are still raging around and I think I am going to develop a drinking problem before I go to bed.

 

The whining has been really getting to me, too! We constantly remind them, "I can't understand you when you whine," "Use your big boy voice" etc. and they'll switch ... but they just don't get tired of it and still need all the reminders. Some days it seems to help and others I feel like we're making no progress!

 

I try to not respond to the whining as well, but honestly if I ignored them all the time no one would ever eat, drink, sleep, or do anything lately! I don't know what's up. I know they're not getting enough sleep because the sun is coming up earlier and they're causing such a ruckus at bedtime, but I can't do much about that until we're back in our own house with locks on the door and blackout curtains. I can. not. wait.

 

Jen, going through this age outside your normal home environment must be extra-difficult. I can imagone how glad you will be when you can move back home!

We have these whiny days too. I also try to ignore and feel like I am on repeat "please, use your big boy/girl voice" "please, ask nicely". I have found that the whining gets worse in two situations 1. they are overtired, hungry, coming down sick etc. or 2. my attention is not fully with them, e.g. I am attending to the other child, I am on the phone, trying to get dinner on the table etc. So I work on minimizing these situations as much as I can, not always possible but worth it for my nerves. I also try to have things accessible for them, so I can respond "your drink of water is on your table. please go and get it yourself".

One other problem of this age seems to be that sometimes they change their minds more quickly than we can respond to their request, resulting in more whining or a tantrum because they get what they wanted 1 minute ago rather than what they want now. This is driving me crazy. We try to make them confirm a choice ("you said you want an apple for snack. mommy is cutting up an apple for you, is that ok?" ) and then make them stick with it, even if their twins decides on something else and then they change thir mind.

 

I have a lot of empathy, not much in the way of help though. :hug: Nothing pushes my buttons faster than *that* voice.

Oh - one thing that has been helpful here was modeling what & how I wanted them to say things. So they'd whine and I would say "Please say: Mommy, may I have some milk please?" (In theatre this is called a line reading and is a Very Bad Thing ) I realized they didn't necessarily know what I meant when I asked them to speak nicely or use their big girl voices.

I also think HappyJune's ideas are spot on & have also been helpful here.

 

My kids went through a whining phase also. I agree with what others have said about asking them use their big girl/boy voices and be consistent in this. Try not to respond to the whining.

One thing that we found that contributed to the whining (at least for us) - Calliou. My kids loved that show and my son started whining just like that kid. At the time, I was home with them and they would watch one episode while I was getting ready for the day. We cut out that TV show all together and it made a difference.

 

Yup, we are going through it too. It is unbearable isn't it? I actually call them Caillou under my breath.

 

The big problem for us has been my parents, who don't stay on board with us. They give into the whining all the time. The other day I had a long lecture talk with Miles about how we ask for things in a nice voice and we don't always get what we want when we want it. Over the course of me talking to him he calmed down and forgot what he was asking for and immediately when I was done my mom said "well, there's lots of crackers there, can he have some?" and it all started fresh. Then hours later I said "Ozzy, we don't understand you when you use that voice" and my dad says "He's asking for milk" and starts pouring him some. So it will be good to have our own space again. Just a couple more weeks and I can deprogram them!

In more positive news, my parents are away this week and while it's leaving me to deal with 14 hours of whining a day on my own, they have been learning to actually play with each other lately and it's pretty amazing. They'll be 3 on Sunday! I can't believe it!

 

Caillou is the worst show on TV. He's such a brat!

 

I know! And my kids are addicted right now what with Orion being unable to walk.

 

My kids have gone through spells of serious whining, too, especially if they don't feel well, etc. I wish I had a good solution, but I don't. I try to ignore it when I can, or tell them to use their words or that I can't understand them when they whine. My kids talk well (full sentences) and SOMETIMES they will stop when I say that and say something rather than whining, but that works maybe 20% of the time. Some days it's enough to drive me crazy!!

And I am SO glad to hear someone else say Caillou is whiney! My kids like it, and DH doesn't see what the big deal is, but he drives me CRAZY! I would much rather hear Barney or Elmo (or just about anything else for that matter.....)

 

The only thing that makes that show palatable to me is contemplating how much valium his mom must be on... :drinks:

 

:lol: I know! His parents seem so freaking calm. I bet they smoke a doobie at breakfast.

Speaking of calming sedatives.. how about some wine soon?

 

Absolutely! You read my mind - I was going to email you as soon as I'd gotten my TS fix.

ETA: Email away.

 

haha I call mine caillou also when they start to whine.

 

Caillou was created by the devil i am sure!! We've only caught it once or twice by accident and I always RAPIDLY change the channel to a chorus of "But I wanna watch caillou mommy!!!" Nope. Nada. Never. NO NO NO!

 

Bahahahahahaha! Glad I'm not alone on whiney Caillou! I also don't let them watch max and ruby for the same reason!!!!!!!!!

No advice on the whining, your doing what we do and I still want to wear earmuffs half the day!

 

I totally feel you on this one! Between age 3-4 my girls were so well behaved and it was the best year. Now, they seem like they are regressing or something, tantrums all the time, whining NON STOP, I find myself saying constantly "STOP WHINING" and "I'm not going to listen to you if you keep whining." UGH!