Whining/Crying is OUT OF CONTROL!

Ok....my twin girls will be 3 in a couple of weeks. I just went back to work full-time in September and it just seems like every time I am home, in the evenings and on the weekends, they are just whining, whining all the time. Crying, temper tantruming, like crazy! They can be completely fine before I come home but as soon as I'm home, boom, it happens and it's just very difficult for me and for our whole family (My husband and I also have 2 older girls who are 8 and 6.) Even when we sit down for dinner they are both crying and whining because they want to sit next to me or get out of their booster seats and sit on me, which I guess wouldn't be the end of the world if there was only 1 of them, but with 2 it's difficult. In particular, one of my twins wants to be held ALL the time. My older girls need my time too and I am just finding it so hard to split myself in so many pieces to meet everyone's needs/wants. Now, I'm not a fool and I know that me going back to work is mostly likely the cause of all this, but I had no choice in the matter and I already feel guilty enough as it is! So it's not so much the question of why are are they doing this.....more, what the heck can I do to help the situation because I am going out of my mind! I actually locked myself in the bathroom tonight to eat a bowl of cereal for supper because I couldn't stand the crying/whining anymore! HELP!

shannon

 

Have you tried a time-in with every child once you come home before the more or less crazy routine for dinner and bedtime begins? I do one fun or snuggly activity with the children once we get home from work and daycare, e.g. snuggle up in an armchair and read a book, get on the floor with them and play their favourite game of the moment or build with their Legos, go for a little walk and talk about the day etc. I tailor the activity to their mood and the time I have to spare, it can be a 10 minute puzzle or half an hour of reading or walking. It really helps us that they feel they have my full attention for a bit, and once we are all settled in at home I get the evening routine started.
Another idea is to have them take turns with sitting beside you for dinner and announce whose turn it is before they start sitting down and fighting over the seating order.

It is hard for everyone after work. I think partly the whining is also due to the fact that they are letting go of the stress of their own day and that they feel safe enough to not be on their best behaviour with mom - the mommy curse. It is a compliment to mom, but one that I could also do without.

 

Thank you! I will try these suggestions!
Shannon

 

I totally agree with Happy June. There are days I pick up the girls from the sitter's house and they both lose their ever-lovin' minds. The sitter (who is a mom of 4 girls) just says they were angels all day and saved it all up for you! Our routine after I pick them up is to usually put on a cartoon and cuddle in the den for a bit before I start dinner. Its rough but for my girls its all they've known (I went back to work when they were 8 weeks old). They need that decompress/mommy time, but some nights are still worse than others. I have to try to keep my emotions in check because me getting angry/frustrated with their whining does NOT help the situation at all. Good luck!

 

I totally feel your pain. Daycare is all my kids have ever known, but that doesn't stop the constant whining and needing to be held from my boy twin in the after work hours. I know this is mean, but I've actually put him in time out for it. I hold him and play with him when we get home, and then say, "Ok mommy needs to cook dinner now and you need to play." If he keeps hanging on my leg and crying, I put him in time out for two minutes. Like you, I have two others who also need my attention in that critical time, lunches need to be made, dinner needs to be made, etc.