Why won't they just sleep?!

Lol. Mentally preparing for tonight. Feeling sick to my stomach. I never knew before I had kids parents had to go through this.

 

I thought of you today. When my S was 6 weeks he was awful in the middle of the night. I had song mantras which I would sing to make me dread nighttime and relax. They were-

They Might Be Giants' "Older"
Black Eyed Peas' "I've Got a Feeling"

Good luck tonight!

 

Thank you. Here we go. My heart is raciiiiiing. My dad is already grumbling.

 

YAY! That was excellent that they slept they slept the rest of the night. you qill probably find that it will take some time before YOU sleep through the night lol.

Keep strong, you're getting there ..and wwll done on last night

 

PS you might also find that their daytime routine will change and start to fall into place and possibly am earlier wake time oncw they are sleeping through wothout assistance. ypu could then maybe move their bedtime earlier once things are settled.

 

Well they cried for 5 minutes and that was it! They slept through the night again.

 

I'm so happy for you! Just to think only two days ago, you thought this would never happen. Good on you for seeing it through..

 

:woo: Lexie!
I've had to do CIO or some variation of it with my kids the first year and half. The first time, ironically, was not night time but nap time. I still can remember being in my daughter's room, crying, why won't you take a nap? The other time was when my daughter was about 13 months and my DH got her hooked on being rocked to sleep (she was our more difficult sleeper, my son you could put down and go) and we had to break her of the habit. It's tough to do but worth it in the end. I hope you won't have to do CIO anymore & the kids will sleep well for you now on.

 

You did it, Lexie!!!

:woman:

So happy for you!

 

Yay!!!!!! Pretty soon you'll be able to rest again, too.

 

I have been following your story also, way to go!!! I hope they start sleeping through the night every night.

 

Thank you all so much! I'm at base for the weekend so my parents are taking care of the babies. They said for nap time carter just by himself grabbed his blanket and rolled up in the playpen and fell asleep. She put Sophie in her crib and she went to bed without crying. My dad apparently is happy I decided to do this. Bout damn time! Thank you all for the support I don't honestly know if I could have done it without all the help on here. <3

 

Awesome!! :hug:

 

Well apparently my parents kept them up til 9 last night. Sophie woke up around 1230 and my dad gave her a bottle and rocked her. Then they both woke up at 430. He doesn't learn.

 

Oh jeez. That sucks. Shame on them for going against your requests. Hopefully tonight will be better. How long will you be at home u til you have to leave again? If it is for long enough, maybe they will be so far into their new sleep routine that it won't be an issue again. :hug:

 

Man, that stinks. I would be :grr:!!!! I don't suppose you could hire someone else to keep them for a bit until you get them settled in....you are in a really tough spot when your parents won't respect your parenting decisions!

Does Sophie need that bottle at night? I'm guessing not since you have had them STTN before. Would it helped if you could wean them off of bottles? (at least then maybe your parents wouldn't give them a bottle and disturb their sleep as much....)

I wish I had better advice, but I don't. Hopefully you can get them in a good routine soon. :hug:

 

I'm not too sure. This past night I put them down at 8 carter cried for two mins otherwise they went down easy. Sophie woke up once at like 930 and now at 230. This time though she's not falling back asleep. I don't want to pick her up but she keeps randomly whining. It sucks idk why now she wont sttn.

 

Well the night before your Dad went in and gave her a bottle and that is probably be why she is unsettled tonight.. Some babies take a little longer to sleep train and don't sleep as deeply so as she may have woken herself up from a sleep cycle, and is finding it hard to go back to sleep. That's why being consistent is good for them. Eventually she will learn to go back to sleep on her own and she may still do some whining in her sleep as she does.

Are you home for a while? You could perhaps start the sleep training when you are home for two weeks straight so that it gives you a chance to put everything into place. I know for me, I still have to leave clear instructions about my girls' sleep habit and what sounds mean what, but inevitably, DH or my mum will often go and get Sierra halfway through her nap even though she often does a little cry and then sleeps for another hour.... Once you start not going in to every peep, you really notice how much we've been hindering their sleep... This is probably something your dad really needs to learn... Could I suggest that you get the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book by Dr Weissbluth and see if he will read a bit?

PS: you're doing so well, I am amazed that the progress they've already made! Well done you!

 

Thank you yeah I don't have to go back to base until July. She just kept whining last night and I could hear Carter start to wake. I let her go for about 40 mins of whining then tried holding her, she fell asleep in my arms but then woke herself up she was refusing to sleep. She just kept fighting it so I just gave her a kiss and put her down. She whined for like an hour on and off, she just didn't want to sleep. But I was not giving her a bottle. My dad even came up with one and I had to tell him no like 3 times. He has one of the monitors in his room but im gonna take it away, driving me absolutely insane. And he would never read a book rot listen to a word I say. He's one of those guys that thinks he knows anything and everything. Ah well.

 

Sophie wakes up almost every night and keeps me up for hours. Absolutely miserable. She fights sleep

 

Aww that's no good ... Lexie feel free to PM for my email address if you need someone to just bolster you through this, I was a single mum for 10years (not with twins mind you) and I know what it feels like not having support when you need it the most and I am happy to be a sounding board if you need that.

In the meantime, are you being consistent with your response to her night waking?

 

I have been letting her put herself back to sleep in the middle of the night and it was working but I was away for the weekend and my parents gave her a bottle both nights she woke up. The other night apparently she was crying for a long time and it didn't wake me (extreme exhaustion maybe idk) so my dad gave her a bottle even though I told him not to in the middle of the night. Two nights ago she cried so loud she woke Carter and my dad came up and just took Sophie. He doesn't listen no matter what I say. Last night she woke up crying she's sick and has an ear infection so I just held her and she was just wide awake. We laid in my bed and she was on and off crying anytime I put her in her crib carter started to wake from her crying. So she had me up for 3 and a half hrs. My parents don't listen to a word I say. They say because I live in their house it's what they want. I'm currently looking at apartments and jobs where I can work from home. Being single sucks. /end rant.

 

Aww the poor little mite, I think when they're sick, it's best just to give them what they need and take a break from the sleep training, I would just have brought her to bed just to get some sleep myself!

It must be really tough that your parents aren't respecting your wishes. Even though it's their house, they are your children and I think it's unfair that your dad is blatantly going against what you are trying to achieve. Not to mention how confusing that must be for Sophie! One night she doesn't get a bottle and the next she does? That's very wrong. If he is not listening to what you would like to see happen, has he any suggestions on how long he is planning to keep feeding her during the night? Does he have any idea of when he would like to see this not happen any more? How old will she be when he thinks she doesn't need the night time bottle? And what will he do when that time comes? How is he going to break this habit? When they are older it is harder to stop bottles (from what I've been reading on the posts) - I would ask him these things, just to see what he thinks...

Good on you for trying to get a future together with your babies. Yes being single does suck at times, especially living at home - my mum and I do not get along when we live under the same roof! But when we aren't, we're the best of friends!lol!

 

Ugh this is so draining mentally and physically. They both woke up at 130am. I changed them kissed them and laid them back down. I can't cuddle with them both they'll just keep trying to get up. It's 158 and they keep on and off crying. I just can't keep getting up every night. My dad doesn't think about that kind of stuff and he's not the type of guy who would answer that. He just wants to hold Sophie all the friggin time. Not carter, just Sophie. He doesn't understand that she will wake up just because she knows she'll get a bottle+tv. I'm just losing it fast. My whole family makes me feel like a piece of **** everyday. Like I'm inconveniencing them so much. The other night our upstairs toilet broke at like 3am and I couldn't fix it. It was right after I was up for a few hours with Sophie so I said **** it I need my sleep. Well Sophie woke me up at 530 then carter woke up at 6 so I was running on very little sleep, forgot to tell my dad about the toilet. Mid afternoon my friend had her 18 month over and we were all playing in the living room, my mom and sister come running downstairs demanding that I get my "f u cking a ss" upstairs and how I'm lazy and etc etc they just kept screaming and cursing. I kept saying please stop cursing Bella is going to repeat everything you said but they just kept on, ESP my sister who went on about how I'm lazy selfish make my mom do everything etc. they never once let me say I forgot to tell dad. Meanwhile my sister, who's 27, brings her laundry home from her apartment every single weekend for my mom to do. My family yells and curses all the time, they don't realize how absolutely psycho they are. They think all I do all day is lay around. I'm taking care of the kids NONSTOP by myself. After doing cry it out with the kids, they now suck at taking naps, Carter took 1 twenty minute nap today. I'm exhausted. Stressed beyond belief and trying to decide if I take the plunge and move us out living off my savings until I can find a job and a sitter who won't charge more than I make. Stressed sorry about my giant rant. It's 208 and they are still on and off crying.

 

I hope they start STTN. I wish I had some great piece of advice, but I have a two year old, and one four year old, who still wake up at night. It is awful. Hang in there, it will get better soon.

 

Sophie woke up at 1130. Hour later still wide awake. I'm getting so sick of this I swear I'm at a breaking point

 

I am so sorry you're going through babies being up all night and a whole lot of family drama. I had to live with my parents for a while over the winter and I know exactly how difficult it is when they don't respect your wishes for the kids. And with twinfants, well, that just plain sucks.

I think you need to get through this sleep phase (and it is just a phase, everything is a phase) and then make a plan to move out and take a bit more control. Maybe it can't happen right away, but at least if you know it's ahead of you then you have something to focus on. It sounds like you have a lot of family drama going on and that's just more than you need to deal with right now.. I am sorry :grouphug:

As for sleep, consistency is absolutely key. I would suggest that you sit down with your parents and tell them what the plan is going to be when everyone is awake and rational. Emphasize how difficult it is for you to function on so little sleep and explain that your long term goal is to have kids who sleep through the night, are happier and healthy. Tell them how much you appreciate their help and support and that you guys really need to be a team to do all these things together. But mostly, get agreement on what you are going to do if a kid wakes in the night or whatever situation arises. I know how tough this is, because my dad was horrible for doing whatever came to mind, but once he could understand my motivations for letting them cry or whatever things turned around.

Finally, try looking for some outside help maybe once a week or more often if you can afford it. A babysitter, a dayhome, maybe there are church or other kinds of services out there that can help you out. Having someone who is not your family, who you are paying to listen to your rules, step in to help out is such a relief and will give you a real break. It would also give your parents a bit of relief and perhaps reduce some tension around the house.

And just remember: this too shall pass. In no time, this terrible sleep phase will get sorted out and this will become a distant memory. You can work through this, I know it!

 

As for sleep, consistency is absolutely key. I would suggest that you sit down with your parents and tell them what the plan is going to be when everyone is awake and rational. Emphasize how difficult it is for you to function on so little sleep and explain that your long term goal is to have kids who sleep through the night, are happier and healthy. Tell them how much you appreciate their help and support and that you guys really need to be a team to do all these things together. But mostly, get agreement on what you are going to do if a kid wakes in the night or whatever situation arises. I know how tough this is, because my dad was horrible for doing whatever came to mind, but once he could understand my motivations for letting them cry or whatever things turned around.

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I agree, consistency is the most important thing. I know that you will be away from home in July again and all your hard work will be wasted if your parents don't follow your sleeping plan. I know how hard it is to cope on so little sleep. Try and get them on your side. Good luck.

 

Thanks everyone. Last night she was up for almost 5 hours. Wasn't hungry etc etc. I finally had to set up the packnplay and put her in there, put earplugs in and attempt to sleep.
Just heard her crying went to go check on her and she was crying in her sleep, still had her binky in. Nightmares? Idk.

 

Does she still have her ear infection? Maybe take her back to the doctors...?

You're in between a rock and a hard place at the moment, I wish I knew what to say to make it better. Hang in there, you're being very strong :hug:

 

Her ear infection is gone. The past few nights have been hell. Last two nights Carter woke up and kept me up for hours. Tonight I went to bed at 845. I've never gone to sleep this early. Sophie woke up at 930 crying and again around 1030. I've never seen her cry that early. Like she knew I was sleeping. Then they both were screaming at 3. I put their binkys in kissed them said night night and left. It worked for a few minutes but then Sophie started screaming. My sister bitched at me so I brought her into my room. 420 she finally fell asleep she was fighting it like crazy and through all this Carter has been on and off crying. He's finally quiet though. My sister in the middle of the night keeps turning the air to 64 degrees so I'm sure that's not helping. I'm just out of ideas. They are getting worse. My parents and sister all ***** at me all day about the babies keeping them up. I am just so exhausted.

 

:hug: Lexie, I am so sorry.
I do agree with Jen, to sit down and have a talk with everyone that your goal is to have them sleeping through the night and a consistent plan to do this is needed, so everyone has to be on the same page. Especially if you will be leaving in July.

 

You will have to come up with a sleeping plan and stick to it. You have to give your kids one message the whole time. It is going to be hard work for the first few days and then it will get better. There are very good books that you can use and you have received good advice on the site from members. Your kids have to learn to put themselves back to sleep. You are so exhausted that it will be worth the pain now. I still go to bed early every night just to have energy to cope with the next day and finally mine are sleeping well. Go to bed when they do, if at all possible. This will mean you can have a couple of hours sleep before you have to get up for them.

 

Lexie, how are their naps going? Sleep begets sleep. So if they're not sleeping well during the day, this will have a huge impact on their night time sleep as well. Try to continue on them having good naps during the day, because this will help them sleep better at night.

I know from my own experience that when my babies start missing naps or not napping well, they often having more night wakes, especially if it's a few days of it.

 

Girl, if I were in your shoes, I'd leave them in their rooms and NOT GO in at ALL. They don't need the binkies.

I'd also ditch the baby monitors; those things are torture devices, and put the white noise machine or a loud fan or something in the rooms of all of the adults so the crying is muffled.

Right now these kids and their caregivers need sleep or everyone is going to go insane.

I had to do this when I hit the wall with my boys. I remember doing that about 3-4 times during their second year of life (every time the schedule changed or they got colds they'd start waking again--even when their illnesses were over).

And I say all of this as someone who thinks CIO is overrated, but we all reach a point where we hit the wall, and at that point it's better for the mommy and the caregivers to save their sanity. Plus, it is not the least bit healthy for these kids to be up for that long during the night.
:grouphug: