would you send one to lunch bunch if other is sick?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by MichelleL, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    If you have a child that is sick and cannot go to school tomorrow (low grade fever this afternoon) and might possibly be upset that their sibling can stay for lunch bunch, would you keep healthy one from going to lunch bunch too?

    The girls' school just started doing lunch bunch of Weds. also (they only do Mon. right now), so we could very easily reschedule both of them to go on Weds. Neither one has any clue that their normal lunch bunch day is tomorrow, I haven't mentioned it yet to remind them.

    I'm leaning toward not letting healthy one stay for lunch bunch and just rescheduling them both for Weds. I know sickie would be broken-hearted if she didn't get to go and healthy one did. Am I being ridiculous?
     
  2. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    If you can easily reschedule without them realizing what you are doing, it would be nice for them both to get to do it on Wednesday. However - if it can't be done (is it possible that if you call tomorrow it will be full or something?) then I would still send the healthy one tomorrow. It would not be fair for the healthy twin to miss out on the event. Sometimes they just have to learn they aren't always included in what each other is doing and life isn't always equal and fair.

    I hope your sicko feels better soon!!
     
  3. mhardman

    mhardman Well-Known Member

    I personally would send the healthy one. If they were different ages, you would proabably send them and not think twins about it, so why not. Things will even out in the end.
     
  4. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    But...they aren't...and right now they go to school together...in one class. :pardon:
     
  5. KCMichigan

    KCMichigan Well-Known Member

    We had this issue last year (same class) at the Halloween Party. One twin went and the other did not.....I could not have one child miss out due to her sisters illness.

    BUT if you could easily reschedule it, go for it! Otherwise I would send the healthy one.
     
  6. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I think a party is a whole different situation. In that instance, I would definitely send the healthy one.

    I guess I'm just feeling guilt for wanting to keep the healthy one out (not that she would care either way, she is very easy going) and also guilt about having to see crocodile tears from the one that might miss it.

    Thanks for the input ladies. :good:
     
  7. Shohenadel

    Shohenadel Well-Known Member

    I think it might depend on what the sick one is sick with....cold, fever, stomach bug.....When it comes to colds and low grade fevers I would probably let the other one still go, but if one is sick with a stomach bug or more serious illness I would keep them both home. I feel like if one has it, then the other is brewing it.. and it wouldn't be fair to expose all the other kids.

    shannon
     
  8. TwinxesMom

    TwinxesMom Well-Known Member

    If you can reschedule I'd do that but I subscribe to the fact if they were different ages you send the well one
     
  9. Trishandthegirls

    Trishandthegirls Well-Known Member

    Not to hijack... but what's "lunch bunch"?
     
  10. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I appreciate you taking the time to comment, however, I'm confused as to why this is the 2nd comment in here like this? :pardon: They are not different ages, they are twins. They are in the same school, same class, etc. Why should I even think about the "if they were different ages..." theory? That is not a factor in this decision whatsoever.


    Oops. :blush: They get to stay an extra hour and eat lunch with their teachers.
     
    2 people like this.
  11. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    maybe its easier for me because mine are b/g but I would send the healthy one...and depending on how low the fever was (like 99 ish that responds to tylenol/motrin) I might considering sending that one if there was no fever in the morning and they were acting themselves...
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    Oh realllly? Thanks for bringing that up because I was also wondering the same thing. Her fever was definitely low grade and she has a cough and raspy/hoarse (eta...voice), no other symptoms. And...this is the kid that gets a fever every.single.time. whether it turns into something or not, typically doesn't.

    Thanks for that. :good:
     
  13. seamusnicholas

    seamusnicholas Well-Known Member

    I would reschedule for both to go on the same day- its fun for them to be together. If you could not reschedule, I probably would just have them both go next Mon. Is it for the rest of the year?
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    if you can reschedule it, that is definitely what I would do. You are right, they are twins and that always makes these decisions different than if they weren't. And I never send a child with a fever to school, most schools don't appreciate it since, if they have a fever, they not only don't feel 100%, but they are likely contagious.

    :hug: to whichever of the cuties is sick!
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. Kyrstyn

    Kyrstyn Well-Known Member

    :pardon: Maybe because you asked what other people would do??

    My girls may be identical twins, but I do my best to treat them as individuals. For me, I would use this as an opportunity for them to do something solo and I would explain to the one that didn't get to go that her time was coming shortly. Neither one of them are missing out, they will just do it separately. Do all the other kids do it one-on-one with the teachers? It's OK for them to be their own people. :good:
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. JDMummy

    JDMummy Well-Known Member

    I agree that with twins decisions are often different. I usually try to give mine the chance to be together when something great is coming their way. I hope you can reschedule and if not, have them go the next Monday. :good:
     
  17. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I sure did. I asked what other people would do in my particular situation involving twins. Having to consider children of different ages, in separate classes, potentially separate schools, with separate schedules is completely irrelevant in this situation.


    Yes, every Monday and occasional Wednesdays. It's optional so there are plenty of opportunities for them to go throughout the year. And your statement about "its fun for them to be together" I guess is just what I was thinking. They do play/socialize very independently, but honestly, they really do love to be together for special things like this too. Thanks!!
     
  18. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    I probably would reschedule so they could do it together. :) As they get older there will be MANY situations where only one will participate (birthday parties, school activities) so let them enjoy the "togetherness" while they can !

    PS .. Jesse woke up this morning with the same thing, fever and raspy voice. :(
     
  19. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    Ya know, that's a very good point Michelle, thank you!
    Oh no! :( Poor Jesse. I have another friend nearby who told me last night her DD has it too. Tis the season I guess.
     
  20. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    If you can easily reschedule, then I would probably do that. If not, send the healthy one. Selfishly, I would like that extra hour of alone time on Wednesday vs. having one child upset and dealing with that today.
     
  21. HRE

    HRE Well-Known Member

    If it's easy to reschedule, I'd do that, too. However, if it's not, I'd send the well one alone (if she wanted to go alone). Make a special "sick picnic" for the one at home to make the time with you special as well. :hug: for having to make the decision.
     
  22. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    Abigail has this habit (and the older she gets the less often it happens) of just getting a fever for no.stinking.reason - she won't be sick, or getting sick, but she'll run like a 99 or 100 temp...she's not lethargic, or loss of appetite - so I give her a dose of motrin before bed and she usually wakes up perky and with no fever...I just chalk it up to being susceptible to overheating (I was the same way as a kid)...

    also our pre-school does say that elevated temps under 99.5 are ok - some kids are just "hot" kids...
     
  23. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am a little late, but if it can easily be rescheduled then that is what I would do. :good: However, if it can't, I would probably send the well one to school and let them stay for lunch bunch too. I would just tell the sick one that since she can't go to school she can't go to lunch bunch.

    I also have one going to school this afternoon and one staying home since she is sick (it's our first time for this). She is sad because she is missing show and tell, but I've just tried explaining that if she is sick she needs to stay home and rest. But I know they don't always understand that at this age so I know how you are feeling now. :hug:

    What did you decide to do Michelle?
     
  24. shoudeshell

    shoudeshell Well-Known Member

    Michelle,


    You know I have four kids, so I've had to make hard decisions before. This is what I'd do. I'd just send the well child to school, and then let her skip lunch bunch. Then let them both do it on Wednesday. Otherwise I'd let them both skip if you're worried that one would miss out. Sometimes you just don't want to deal with the crocodile tears and it's easier on Mommy that way. It's not like lunch bunch is a party or program. AND since it's for all year long, you can be comforted with the knowledge that they'll go again because it's not like it's a one time opportunity. However, the other option you have is to talk to the one who will be staying home and see if she'd be upset by not going. If she would be okay with it, then send the other one to school and lunch bunch. But, honestly I'd just not let either one go and try to reschedule. But that's me. Yes, in the future there will be times when one will do something that the other can't, but if you don't have to do it now, why do it? Let them be together as much as possible right now. Go easy on yourself right now.
     
  25. shoudeshell

    shoudeshell Well-Known Member


    Yes she DID ask, but she asked about her twins...same age same gender. Not different ages. So, it is a different situation. I have kids 11, 8, and my twins 4. I would totally send the older two to something if they were well and the twins weren't. So, that doesn't even apply here.


    And that's great that you treat your twins so individually. :good: However, I think it's okay at 4 to let them still be together as much as possible. It's not going to hurt them. And if it's easier on the mommy, even better! :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  26. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    And that is Lauren too! Unexplained fevers every now and then...
    The thing that made me keep her home was that this time it was coupled with the lethargy, loss of appetite, and laryngitis. :(


    I called the school this morning to change lunch bunch days. It was not an issue at all since they had a ton of openings for Wednesday. BUT...when healthy one got up I asked her what she would like to do (eta: knowing I had the option of still letting her stay today). I let it be her choice, and I would have bet money on the fact that she would choose to wait until Weds. so her sister could go with her, because she does not like to see her sister miss out or be upset. :good: So it all worked out totally fine in the end.

    And...we have croup and "something else" going on. :( She SOBBED when she realized she couldn't go to school. It broke my heart!!
     
  27. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :good: Good idea to let her choose. And I'm glad you could switch days if necessary!

    :hug: Oh man, that is hard. It is so hard to see them get so upset about things like that. :( And I'm sorry about the croup and "something else" going on, not fun at all. :hug: I hope she gets better soon.
     
  28. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    Love your solution Michelle. Glad it all worked out, but I'm sorry your punkin is sick :hug:
     
  29. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member

    This. Unless the other one has already had it, it's just waiting there.. ready to come out anyway so you should probably keep them both home anyway.

    I hope they feel better soon!
     
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