You're showing off to the wrong mom!

I belong to one of those mom groups on FB, where moms can post questions about kid/house related stuff and other people can give their personal recommendations or experience. It's mostly made up of orthodox jewish women, so there are many young moms with many small kids.

I posted a question about gate-checking a city mini double on a plane and one mom wrote back 'We flew to XYZ and checked a BJCM double and a single stroller with no problems (yes, we had three kids in strollers!)'.

It totally sounded like she was trying to show off that she had 3 kids under 3, everyone bow to her because she is so awesome. :bow2: :bow2: and I just thought to myself, 'Lady, you are showing off to the wrong mother here!' :ibiggrin: :ibiggrin:

THEN, I told a friend of mine the story and she said, 'Well, she DID go through THREE pregnancies.' And I was just like :huh: :huh: :huh:

Just thought you all on here would appreciate the humor :ibiggrin: :ibiggrin:

 

:ibiggrin: Definitely find that amusing. I don't know about you but my singleton pregnancy was a LOT easier than my twin pregnancy - and neither time did I have any major complications.

 

I wouldn't wish my twin pregnancy on my worst enemy. I get where you are coming from

 

Honestly I don't know how women chase after young toddlers while pregnant. My mom had me and my brother 18 months apart, I can't imagine being 9 months pregnant and chasing an 18 month old! Especially my hyper active brother! Or my mother in law that had my husband and his sister 11 months apart. :faint:

I'd take twins over that any day! But I did have very easy pregnancies.

 

When I was first pregnant with my twins (and already had three children) a friend of mine with twins who were grown (and also had 3-4 other children) said, "Everyone will say how cool it is that you get two for the price of one. But really it's more like two for the price of three." And I've found that to be true in many ways. That pregnancy was definitely my hardest, even more than the one I had after and was "advanced maternal age." :laughing: You are very unlikely to find cute matching outfits at a thriftshop or garage sale or get them as hand-me-downs. The lack of sleep that first year alone was probably took 3 years off my life. And Whoa Nellie, twins get into vastly more than one child, or even if you doubled what most single children would do. They combine efforts and build on each other's crazy ideas... and I have relatively calm kids compared to some I know. I wouldn't trade any of it, but yeah, it's not all a cake walk.

But I think that she probably didn't mean to show off, just stating.

 

I'm sure she didn't really mean to show off, it was just how it came off online. Also, it's a cultural thing. Having lots of kids is encouraged and lauded in the orthodox jewish world. At any rate, I appreciated the irony.

 

I have a friend who is orthodox, I will have to make sure I encourage her to have more kids the next time I talk to her! She just had a baby girl, their first, in March. Also explains why my father-in-law keeps asking about "the next set of grandkids." :lol:

 

Sometimes I forget to be sensitive to other mothers "hard times". They have no idea how hard it can be but until I had twins I had no idea either. 3 kids in strollers in the airport would be tough too. That's why we have each other on this site so we can talk to others that know how hard it really can be with multiples. Glad to have this site for that very reason.

 

I think it's important, in all areas of life, to remember that each person is unique in their life and their struggles. I don't think that I have had any harder time with my two than any other person has with their one or three. My pregnancy may have had complications, but I wouldn't say that they were harder than anybody else's challenges. Perhaps a friend who gets to stay at home with her one child has anxiety and struggles with self-doubt in her parenting. Maybe my friend, the soccer mom who looks so pulled together, has a sick family member and is hurting on the inside. Maybe the neighbor's newborn has digestive issues and is a fussy baby. There's just no telling.

I have had occasion where I've been resentful of praise given to a family member for how hard her pregnancy was and how she pushed through it. My first reaction was "MINE was hard!" Then I reminded myself that I get that praise from my husband and that I am confident in how I've done things. Maybe she just needed to hear it from somebody else?

So, all that rambling to say that I do understand the eye roll over people's comparisons of their one child to our two, but it is so much easier to just know that you've done the best you can and not to think in terms of harder/easier. This isn't a contest after all!