Zone or Man to Man defense?

For you moms of first years (and other moms who lurk), is/was it easier for you to do a zone defense where you took a certain shift and DH took another or did you do a man to man where each of you was in charge of a twin? I am asking this specifically about night feedings since those seem to be harder. I plan on nursing but DH will do middle of the night feedings with a bottle so that I can get some sleep. With our son, I took the 7pm to 2am shift(my son usually woke around midnight), he got anything between 2am and 6am (usually a 4am waking then he went off to work). When my son was just waking 1x at night, we alternated whose night it was to wake up with him. Is it harder if just one parent gets up in the middle of the night, do you need both up?

Thanks for the answers.

 

During the day (when dh was home, he generally grabbed dd because he did better with her). DS was a total momma's boy. I did all nights unless they both got up at once because I breastfed and didn't want to do bottles. We never did shift work. I don't think dh was comfortable with both of them at once. It wasn't until shortly before my 3rd came along that he'd even bring the twins to the store alone!

 

For night feedings, we usually did 'zone'- DH did 8pm-1am, I did 1-5am. This way we each got one good stretch of sleep.

 

My DH did not help out much at all. I did all the nighttime feedings by myself and learned to do them during the day too. I slept when the boys did. My mom came and helped the first month and we took shifts. I took 11pm-7am and she did 5pm-11pm. We worked together during the day and I still napped when the boys did.

 

During the day we each took a baby...but at night, we took shifts because I pumped so we always had bottles on hand. When I went to work at 6 weeks, we were still on shifts and it worked well. I still couldn't manage more than three hours of sleep at a time while I was pumping, but once I quit pumping I was able to 5-6 good hours before getting up. My DH has always been really good with the girls and he jumped right in with both feet...thank goodness.

 

At night, DH did one feeding with bottles and I was on duty the rest of the night nursing. He would have been up a shorter time if we'd each taken one baby, but it was more valuable to each of us to get one longer "uninterrupted" stretch of sleep...I never could sleep through that feeding, and usually just pumped then anyway.

During the day, we did man-to-man whenever we could.

 

I might not be the best person to answer this question. My DH works the midnight shift, so when he went back to work, I did all the night feedings myself. When he was off for paternity leave for 2 weeks, we took shifts. After he went back to work, he would take the overnights so I could get a full night's sleep.

 

I never understood the "each take a baby" thing. Seems counterproductive. Then there isn't just ONE of you that's beat, there are TWO!!

DH and I each did shifts, thanks to my mom who also had twins.. I knew about this.

I went to bed at 7pm and set my alarm for 4 am. I slept in MY OWN room w/ a high power fan on and NO ONE was disturbing me. DH did all of the feedings between 7P and 4A and slept in between he also went to bed after the feeding around 3 am and I woke him at 9:15 am. That way., we both got solid sleep.

If one of you is up anyway (with one) why not just do BOTH babies??

I didn't read other responses but I'm sure people do it all different ways and ultimately, it's what works best for you but I'd try the shift thing. It's a beautiful thing. Choppy sleep is quite useless, if you ask me.

I have not had less than eight straight hours since the babies were born, usually I get 9 and 1/2.

Good luck!

 

My DH could sleep through a train coming through the bedroom. So, since I had to wake up to wake him up anyway I did most of the night time feedings myself. If both were up at the same time I would wake him up to help.

 

My husband is a natural night owl, so he's always done the night feedings by himself (since they were like 2 or 3 weeks old).

I have always slept from about 9 or 10 until at least 4 (now they sometimes don't get up until 7:30 or 8!), DH has always been able to be in bed by 2 or 3. So as long as the boys slept from 2-4, we were good!

Now they're only eating once per night (Around 11 or 11:30), but DH still does that on his own.

 

I guess I am the oddball. My husband and I each took a baby for the middle of the night feedings. We tried the "zone defense" for a couple of weeks but found it frustrating, because it took so much longer to feed both babies by ourselves, and oftentimes the babies would freak out at the same time and one would cry while the other was being fed. It was easier (and less stressful) for us both to get up, each feed a baby, and go right back to sleep. Also, it was nice to have my husband there for moral support and and to joke around with when things got rough / babies wouldn't stop crying, etc.

 

I had help from my mum for the first 2 weeks but did the night shifts alone which was really tough. Mum would help me during the day then send me to bed between 4-8pm. It was the only sleep I got each day. MIL then came and helped for 3 weeks and insisted on doing the night shifts so I could get some rest & recover (I will always be eternally grateful for that). In the 5th-6th week, when we were alone, I asked DH to take DD at nights as she was the calmer baby. He didn´t do it willingly, at first, but it helped me get some sleep. For the 2 months after that, I went and stayed with my ILs and MIL and I each took a baby at night. I ended up taking DS most nights as he was the most restless one (I wanted MIL to get her beauty sleep) but I got to sleep. Mine started STTN 12 hours at 4.5 months.

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Apr 20 2009, 01:27 PM) [snapback]1281157[/snapback]
For night feedings, we usually did 'zone'- DH did 8pm-1am, I did 1-5am. This way we each got one good stretch of sleep.



Pretty much the same here.

 

My Dh operates heavy machinery and works long hours, so I pretty much did a full court press. GL to you

 

Zone here! Really appreciated the block of uninterrupted sleep.

 

Neither one here. I did it all! If I had a choice though I would go for that big block of sleep! GL!

 

my dh would get up and change the babies diapers in the night and then hand them off to me to breastfeed. I'd put them back down after the feeding. they were both sttn from 11p to 6a by 8wks, and soon we got 10+ hrs of sleep.

 

Zone at night with me doing night wakings, and DH taking over from their wake time 6AM until like 9. During the day we usually did some man to man, but where had no problem doing the switch up because the babies set screens and pick and rolls for each other all the time.

 

another oddball here, we did man to man coverage. they always woke up at the same time for feedings at night and in the interest of getting them fed and back to sleep as fast as possible we each took a baby. on a good night we could get them changed, fed and back to sleep within 45 minutes and then they would sleep til the next feeding 3-4 hours later. we were both pretty rested on this system and it was a really special time for us to spend together feeding our babies.

good luck and i hope you get some sleep whichever method you choose!

 

We've considered other methods but for us, each of us sleeping in shifts seems to work best, so we each get a stretch of uninterrupted sleep. In the first ~ 2 months, I would sleep roughly 7pm-2am and DH 2am-9am (though that varied since his work schedule varies from day to day and some nights we could each only get 5 hrs or so). The "on-duty" parent got very little sleep in those days! Now that the boys are sleeping better in between their nighttime feedings for the most part, we overlap more, so our shifts might be, say, 9pm-2am and 2-7, or 9:30-3:30 and 3:30-9:30, again, depending on DH's work schedule that day. The on-duty parent usually gets at least 2 hrs of sleep on their shift, often more.

 

QUOTE(lovelylily @ Apr 20 2009, 07:37 PM) [snapback]1281656[/snapback]
My Dh operates heavy machinery and works long hours, so I pretty much did a full court press. GL to you

Same here. Although I didn't get much sleep at first, it made me really rigorous about their schedule since I was the one to suffer if they got off. Now they only wake up once at 4:00am, and I usually nurse them one at a time. If they both wake at the same time, I'll tandem nurse them. My DH has gotten up with them exactly zero times. <_< When they were real little I had them in our bedroom with me and DH was on the couch.

 

We woke the babies at the same time and feed them then. We did this until almost 3 months when we decided to let one sleep on her belly and both STTN the very same night. From that point, I was normally the one that would go in and "re-bink" them at night. But neither got a bottle in the middle of the night after 3 months. So we did Man-to-Man until 3 months! My girls are rockstar sleepers!

 

(Haven't read other responses....)

It just depends what works for you. DH and I both work full-time office jobs, so neither of us had a greater need for sleep than the other. We both got up for every feeding. It was just so much less stressful for me to have another adult awake and helping, than to feel on my own with two screaming babies in the middle of the night. And I never sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch anyway (that's just how I am), so it wasn't that big a deal to me to get up. DH minded it more, but he was willing to do it to help keep my stress level under control.

We did take turns being "on duty" between feedings. The one who was on duty would sleep on the couch so the other parent could put earplugs in and close the bedroom door. The on duty parent was responsible for rinsing bottles & getting ready for the next feeding, as well as dealing with any miscellaneous fusses.

I had to laugh at your thread title -- my DH always talks about zone vs. man to man defense too.

 

QUOTE(twinmommyoh @ Apr 20 2009, 02:50 PM) [snapback]1281390[/snapback]
I guess I am the oddball. My husband and I each took a baby for the middle of the night feedings. We tried the "zone defense" for a couple of weeks but found it frustrating, because it took so much longer to feed both babies by ourselves, and oftentimes the babies would freak out at the same time and one would cry while the other was being fed. It was easier (and less stressful) for us both to get up, each feed a baby, and go right back to sleep. Also, it was nice to have my husband there for moral support and and to joke around with when things got rough / babies wouldn't stop crying, etc.


Thank you for this post!!! I have been taking all of the feedings from 12:00 a.m. on because I am on maternity leave and I agree, feeding two by myself is sooo much longer than feeding one at a time. On the weekends, we are both on baby duty at night and I think it is actually kind of fun to talk to my dh while we feed the babies. We actually talk more than during the day because there isn't anything to interrupt us except for possibly a really big spit up : )