almost 7 and still calling out from beds and bedtime

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by ddancerd1, Sep 2, 2014.

  1. ddancerd1

    ddancerd1 Well-Known Member

    it's ridiculous.  we've been doing the same bedtime routine since FOREVER.  and still they call out for us from their room, or just keep getting out of bed to come to us with some issue.  "i'm thirsty."  "i'm hot."  "i'm cold."  "i need something to snuggle with."  "i'm not comfortable."  "i can't sleep."   "don't leave for the store until I fall asleep."  and on and on and on.  either they call for one of us until we come in there and see what they want (usually it's dh cuz I just yell at them to shut up and go to sleep) or they come walking out and down the hall to where i'm feeding the baby to tell me they're not comfortable or some other stupid crap.  HELP!!!  I really think that by now they need to be past this garbage. 
    I was thinking of doing some sort of sticker chart, but have no idea how to do it.  like if they stay in their beds and don't call for us, they get a sticker the next morning?  I have no idea. can someone help me with this? 
  2. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    I am mean. I take things away if they repeatedly leave their room. No books or reading, immediate lights out and no talking. If they persist, I threaten to close their door, which ends the issue. I've never had to actually shut the door.
    1 person likes this.
  3. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My girls did this for a while. We found what worked for us was giving them some quiet time in their room after all the bedtime necessities were taken care of (teeth, stories, etc) with a dim lamp on. They were allowed to look at books, play quietly with their stuffies, or chat with each other. If things got too loud or rambunctious, lights out. Otherwise, they were pretty much left to their own devices to choose when to fall asleep. We also made sure all the common excuses were solved in advance - water bottles in the bedroom, extra layers if they were cold, stuffies if they were worried, hugs and kisses before leaving the room, etc, etc, etc.

    ETA: we also discussed our expectations for bedtime during the day, ad nauseum. And pre- problem solved - what could you do if x, y, z rather than call for mom or dad?
  4. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    what time is bed time???  we had this issue toward the end of the school year last year... so over the summer we let them stay up later as an experiment (said it was a "special summer thing" in case i changed my mind) and it worked for us... they were so tired when they went to bed... they went to bed... IDK if that will help, but its an idea :pardon:
  5. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

  6. kim01

    kim01 Well-Known Member

    my boys still do this lol. they just turned 12 ha. What we found helpful is we first had a check list of all the usually things. 1. thing to cuddle 2. drink 3. hug everyone
    etc.  we also have them go to bed 30 min earlier so that they can talk to each other. that seems to help solve our getting out of bed a million times.
  7. mummy2two

    mummy2two Well-Known Member

    I don't have any positive reinforcement technique (sorry).  We make certain that all tasks are completed before bed.  Bathroom trips are before bed.  They each get water until they are full.  They get hugs and kisses and they are tucked in.  Their dream lights are turned on and the lights in their rooms are turned off.  The door to their room is shut and we leave.  They are not allowed to get out of bed or leave their rooms for any reason other than an emergency (someone is sick, someone has a nightmare, someone falls out of bed, etc.).  They are allowed to call a parent once and only once a night.  They can chat to each other but if one is not in the mood for chatting or someone is not chatting appropriately, the pocket door between their rooms gets closed.  Once their room door is shut, they are "in" for the night.  
    But above all, If they break a rule (get out of bed, leave their room when it's not an emergency, call for a parent a second time when there is no emergency, say mean things to their sibling or try to keep them awake, etc.) the consequence is that minutes are taken away from the next night's bedtime ("you owe me five/ten/fifteen/twenty/thirty minutes and will go to bed at ______ o'clock tomorrow night....").  It seems to work for us.
    Yes, I'm mean.  My kids tell me so.
  8. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    Well mine don't do that, they've known forever that we won't come back for water/snacks or anything really, but they play very loudly in their room for an hour at times after we put them in bed. It's so frustrating. Man I really need to clear the office so we can split them up, but I'm not even sure it will help...
  9. ddancerd1

    ddancerd1 Well-Known Member

    well, I stared a Mom Bucks program (thanks, nancy! ), and it's helping to keep them in their rooms!  they lose "bucks" each time they get out of bed (unless to go to the bathroom), or call out to us. 
    I've taken things away in the past... that stopped working.  turned off nightlight, shut door... that all stopped working! lol
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