Am I the only one NOT celebrating ?

Discussion in 'General' started by Moodyzblu, Aug 31, 2010.

  1. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    I can understand parents being somewhat glad that school has started .. especially working parents .. I know for me, it was easier on me (and my wallet) when the kids were in school. Plus I felt bad that they had to be in daycare all day during the summer instead of at home playing or at the pool swimming. I struggled with it and was SO happy to be home with them this summer .. and I know they were too !
    SO .. now the kids are back in school (our area started this week) and I have this one mom friend who is ECSTATIC that the kids are back in school. She's been anticipating this day since school let out in June and now that its here she is rejoicing and gushing with happiness. :rolleyes:
    It's getting rather annoying. If you can't stand your kids THAT much, then maybe you should have thought more about being a parent before having 5 kids ! She's a SAHM so now she gets to sit at home .. doing what ??

    I miss the sound of my boys playing in the other room .. I even have the tv on Nick .. just to have that familiar background sound .. lol

    I just really can't stand people who take their kids and their kids youth for granted. Some day they WILL be gone .. on their own .. and then I can imagine her whining about her kids being all grown up. (or not)

    Ok .. end of rant.
  2. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    No, I always feel sad at the start of another school year. I love my boys and love spending time with them. The house seems so quiet when school starts back up, especially since I know Sean is at college. Working part-time has helped me but I still miss them. A lot.

    One time, way before I returned to work, the neighbor boy who was about 10 at the time, so my boys were 9 and 5, said to me, "Miss Kim, you're the only mom I know who gets sad when her kids go back to school." :lol:
  3. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    Thank goodness ! I didn't want to seem like the one mom that smothers her boys with love and attention .. lol I know I need to let go sometimes .. but it's a LOT harder the older I get.
  4. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I enjoy being home with my kids and love being a SAHM, but I won't lie, I was excited for school to start. :pardon:
    1 person likes this.
  5. AlphaBeta

    AlphaBeta Well-Known Member

    I'm happy and sad. Happy that they are back in a structured learning environment (it's so hard to get the kids to learn anything from me, and they get more socialization there), and sad that this means another year is passing and my babies are truly growing up. I held DD up in front of her baby pictures the weekend before school started and demanded an explanation. How could she have gotten so big??? She laughed, and so did I, but I was semi-serious. I miss the fun times we had together this summer, and I'm glad that I'm getting a break from the whining and argumentative times. Since I work from home, having them in school instead of daycare/pre-k this year means that I get them home 2 hours earlier than I have before, and I am looking forward to that - as long as we can work out a pattern where I can continue working, to some extent, until 5 PM while they play nicely - that's a work in progress! Next summer will be a challenge - I hope our babysitter from this year can help out again - I had the kids in the morning (and worked a bit when I could) and she had them in the afternoon so I could really knuckle down and get work done. Fortunately my boss doesn't care if he hears kids in the background as long as I'm meeting deadlines!

    IMO, I'm not a bad mom for looking forward to some quiet time again, because I know that, in direct opposition, I will miss their presence the minute they are out the door (ok, maybe 10 minutes later), and I'm always sad that they seem to grow up so quickly!
  6. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    I love it because it is such a social part of my girls life now. The love picking out their clothes and talking to all their little friends. Plus I work during the day anyways so it is not like I saw them anyways. I will be honest my kids get on my nerves alot too there are days I wish they had weekend school. :escape:
    3 people like this.
  7. a1cbrandy

    a1cbrandy Well-Known Member

    I am happy school is in and I am a stay at home mom. I get to clean, do my homework and get some me time for 3 hours a day without kids fighting. I also know my kids need the out..because I couldn't do things with them everyday. Of course I miss them and love them..but don't feel guilty for having some quiet time!
    1 person likes this.
  8. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    And a lot harder the older they get! :(
  9. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    I go back and forth.

    I love my children dearly and enjoy spending time with them during every season even summer. I tell people I am excited about school starting back up while I am inside feeling a little sad. They are great children. But at the same time I am glad for them that they will get to be with their friends regularly now that school is starting back up.

    I am not a SAHM but still wonder how one may feel when they read
  10. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    Weekend school ?? :rotflmbo:

    Kids CAN get on your nerves .. but she KNEW this after her first. She went on to have a BUNCH more ! Not to mention .. she is considering having another ! My tongue is bleeding from having to bite it SO hard .. lol I just want to yell "you can't stand the ones you have .. WHY would you want more ??"

    We all have our reasons for needing a little quiet time. Even moms like me who gush over and smother their children. (I can be pretty sickening .. I admit it)
    But it's nice at night when they are sleeping and I get to sit and relax and enjoy some quiet time. I enjoy my weekend mornings too when they sleep late.

    This woman is what I call a "couch commando" and really doesn't like leaving the sofa .. just long enough to cook. She just really gets under my skin ..
  11. FirstTimeMom814

    FirstTimeMom814 Well-Known Member

    I was looking forward to school starting. I think we had a little too much together time this summer and I felt like my kids were sick of me. I'm not the most patient person and I have to say that I was ready for a break. What do I do now that they are in school? I can actually manage to get the house in order and finally start taking some time to take care of myself and my health.
    1 person likes this.
  12. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    I was so happy this year that we didn't send our kids off to school (except for ds 17). I can't imagine being happy to send my kids off to spend so many hours away.
  13. samantha83

    samantha83 Well-Known Member

    I almost cried when I took my daughter to school the first day this year. I share custody of her with my ex and I wish I had her all to myself. I love every moment with her and miss her a lot when she is gone. I am glad though to have time to rest being pregnant with twin boys and all. It was very hard to rest when she was home all day and like I said I didn't want to be away from her for one second. I am glad also that she is back in school for the learning and socialization purposes.
  14. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am definitely NOT happy that the kids start back to school next week. I love having them home & would keep them home all the time if I could. I am not, however, cut out to be a teacher & homeschooling would not be for me. Plus the kids would never agree to it. So, off they will go next week, but I am already dreading it.

    ETA - With that being said, even with the kids in school, there is PLENTY to do around here as a SAHM. Just taking care of the house, the bills, the cooking, etc. is a full time job around here! I have never wondered what to do with my time!
    2 people like this.
  15. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    I can honestly say as a SAHM for 17 years, I never once was bored, especially when the kids were all in school. I was very active as a volunteer (served on the PTA board for many years as library volunteer coordinator and secretary, and was always a room mom). Plus there are never enough hours in the day in my world, whether working or not, to do laundry, clean, run errands, cook, shop, etc, etc, etc.

    I miss my boys dearly but know this is the way it has to be for them and for me. They need an education, I need to learn to let go (much harder than I ever thought it would be), and so they are at school and I am missing them.
    3 people like this.
  16. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    I've been a SAHM off and on for the past 23 years .. and YES it IS a full time job .. I agree. One of the reasons why I decided I needed to leave my job this past June. I just couldn't DO both ! But there really isn't anything I can't do WITH the kids here that I can do with them NOT here. KWIM ? It all has to get done .. but at least when you clean the living room .. its stays that way a bit longer ! Although .. I do plan on going through their room now that they are gone all day and do some major cleaning up (going through old toys that they wont part with .. but never play with and won't miss. ;) )
  17. twinbears

    twinbears Well-Known Member

    I am soo tired of them getting on each others nerves :laughing:
    I am sad for the summer to be over and the freedom we have but I think when school starts we ahev more of a schedule so I guess I look forward to that :laughing:
    And really my answear changes on a daily basis on how much they have annoyed me :laughing:
    Currently I am working but I go home and see them at lunch si now my lunches will be a little lonlier.
  18. a1cbrandy

    a1cbrandy Well-Known Member

    To me this is another way we judge other mothers. I never think bad of others for being happy or sad that their kids are at school. I think we all deal with our stress as mothers in different ways.

    3 people like this.
  19. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    I am happy when school starts. Even though my boys were in camp for 8 weeks (it was a day camp, and I worked there, so saw them all the time), give them 2 weeks of together time, and they are ready to kill each other! They need to go back to school so they can have some time away from each other! Once they are in school, I will be busy sewing (I have 3 pairs of pants and 1 skirt to make for someone by Sept. 14), volunteer at school, hopefully sub at school, plan for my Hebrew school classes, volunteer at the barn. Oh yeah, somewhere in there I have to cook, clean, and do laundry!

    So, yes, I am glad to have them back in school, not because I don't like them, but because they are much happier with the routine of friends, and school, and separate space.
  20. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I feel the same way, especially the bolded part! No one told me when I decided to become a parent how hard it would be to let go & how much I would miss them when they aren't around!
  21. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    So true! With Sean off at school now, there is this constant sense that something is missing. I can only imagine how this will feel in three more years when Brian and Craig are gone. (I think I finally understand my mom. :lol: ) I am, above all, happy to see Sean thriving and loving college life and making a life for himself. It doesn't make missing him any easier though.

    As for judging, I would hope no one is judging anyone else's feelings about this (although human nature being what it is, I suppose you are right, Brandy). I just think we all have a different way of processing the separation from our kids as they begin to grow up.
    1 person likes this.
  22. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    Is it possible (and I don't want to start a fight, just asking) that the woman you mentioned gets on your nerves? I keep feeling there's more to this story (your first post) than meets the eye --
    I'm sorry - I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I think we all know people who parent differently than we would, but don't get that angry at them without some cause. For instance, I'm a SAHM, as you are. But you are also a working mom. You've seen both sides of the debate between working moms and SAHMS. I think she must've done something awful for you to be so mad at her! But thankfully, we're all friends here, so you can say what you want in anger and we'll understand.

    OK, about me and my reaction to school starting:
    I miss my kids when they are at school, and yet I was more than ready for summer to end. I miss the nice, joyful, innocent, children they used to be -- they're all preteens/teens now and don't want me around except to pay (and pay, and pay...) and drive them to see their friends! And they're boys at the undemonstrative age, and I can't even hug them in public(they get embarrassed.) I try to have them stay home sometimes and we play a board game as a family, and they enjoy that, but they also enjoy their friends! Plus, my pubescent boys have an ENTIRELY different sense of "what's fun to do" than their mom does.
    I love to be with them, and I hope they love to be with me. But we all need time on our own sometimes.
    I look forward so much to each school year, b/c DH and I can spend some time together and rekindle our relationship/friendship. Often we get so caught up in the "drive-pay" cycle that we don't remember that we were friends and lovers before we were parents.
  23. rissakaye

    rissakaye Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm not celebrating, but I'm not sad about it either. My kids love the structure and the socialness that school provides. They have separate teachers this year and absolutely are thriving and loving it. By the end of the summer, it was obvious they needed just some time to be apart. They have that now and come home and are so nice and polite to each other and play so well together. I love it that they are doing so well.

    I like it that I can clean out stuff without protest. I like it that I can just do what needs to be done when it needs done. I can just go mow the lawn when it needs mowed and don't wonder what the kids are up to in the house. I'm sure I'll like it when I'm sick and can get a nap instead of wondering how much tv they'll watch that day so we can get through it.

    I do miss them. In a few weeks, I'm sure I'll miss them more when I've caught up on everything on my list. But then I'll have added all the school volunteering that I'm starting to get schedules for. I miss my little babies, but I'm awfully proud of the wonderful children they have become and how well they do in school. I'm the oddball of the family for not homeschooling, but I wouldn't take this experience away from them.

  24. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    No .. she hasn't done anything awful,she can be a very sweet woman .. but you're right .. she CAN get on my nerves. Like right now ..
    I don't see her appreciating her children and the fact that they are young and healthy. But she isn't the only mom I know like that .. aside from going back to school .. I have friends that have ex husbands and can't WAIT for the weekends when the kids go to dads. Or pawn their kids off on people so they can go out and be "single".
    This thread has nothing to do with the parents out there that actually enjoy their children and understand that some day they will be grown and cherish the moments they have NOW. Many of us here had little ones that struggled early in life and are lucky to be here !
    Sure we all need that quiet time .. and many have to go to work .. or choose to work .. but I've seen SO many wonderful moms (and dads) here on this board to know that most (if not all) of us here "get" it.

    I've been accused of being over protective and of smothering my children (not by anyone here) but I really don't care. My children are my life .. and I don't get it when others don't feel the same way. I don't judge .. I just don't understand it.
  25. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    Yes, I do miss them while they are school and it does get really quiet around here when they're gone BUT I am looking forward to them going and doing new things and coming home to share all that excitement with me. :wub: Plus right now they are only gone a few hours every other day, so maybe when they go more I'll be more sad? :pardon: Either way, I do enjoy the few guilt free TV hours or computer hours. :lol:
  26. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    When I'm walking through the supermarket with my three and no one is listening to me, I look forward to the start of school. :laughing: But, I do know I am going to miss them. And when I drop the little guy off at preschool I am not going to know what the heck to do with myself. :rofl:
  27. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I've known people like that! Some people just get under your skin... What also strikes me is, those same people can often be great on occasion. It's like a gamble, what personality (the nice one, or the toxic one?) you're going to see each day.

    Glad you weren't mad -- I wasn't trying to insult you.
    Just wanted to say Good for you - Stay the way you are and be yourself -- kids need constant love, and you'll end up having raised great kids. So don't let the naysayers get you down.
    I think parents/caregivers need to support each other, like we do here. There's so much judgement -- and I think a great deal of it comes down to "she's doing something different from me, I have to make fun of her to prove I'm better". I think that's why people isolate themselves on "sides" of the whose a good mom debate.
    I really like discussions in here, b/c for the years I've been here I've only read like 1 or 2 judgemental topics. Yeah -- we DO get it!!
  28. momotwinsmom

    momotwinsmom Well-Known Member

    I do miss them, but am glad school has started. They were fighting quite a bit this summer. I think they needed their own space, and school provides that for now. Plus I can grocery shop with just 2! Sounds odd, I know. But with all 4 this summer, grocery shopping was never fun, but a much dreaded chore. I look forward to them coming home excited each day. Plus the quiet time when they are in school and Jake is napping. I love being able to hear a pin drop!
  29. marie3103

    marie3103 Well-Known Member

    This is the first year all my kids are in school (K and Pre K) So 4 days a week I have about 2 1/2 hours without them. I was excited but not to "get rid of them". I work in the evenings so everything that needs to be done for the house has to get done in the morning and afternoon before work. I feel like now I don't have to worry about cleaning and running around when we get up in the morning before they go to school (all are in pm) I can just enjoy my time with them and give them all my attention. The second they get on the bus though I have a list of house stuff to get done. I also plan on 1-2 days a week being in one of the boys classrooms being a parent helper. Now next year if they go full day will be very hard. I see a shift change in my future :)
  30. DinaJ

    DinaJ Well-Known Member

    No, I'm the opposite! I actually DISLIKE the routine! Now that my kids are older (8-15 since my signature disappeared), I get to sleep in and we plan fun things almost every day. I hate the 6 am. wake up and getting 4 kids to 3 different schools all within 45 minutes. Then, yes, there's a break and I miss the gym, so that will be nice, but the kids start coming home in shifts starting at 2:00 until 3:45, so there's nagging about piano practice and homework help and then the evening driving of soccer for 3 and dance 4 days a week for 1 and now we have 4 in piano! Too much for this mom. I live for the summer!
  31. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    I homeschool, so obviously I'm not sending my kids "back" to school. I don't fault anyone for sending their kids to school, and I can understand some people looking forward to some routine and having a little "me" time. But I'm with you in not understanding people who are like the woman you described. I have a relative who pretty much every single post on FB is about looking forward to her children being in school or napping, being happy that her kids are in school or napping, or dreading them coming home from school or waking up from a nap. It drives me batty. And there's an ad for back to school sales that's on this time every year where the parents are gleefully dancing down the aisles of the office store buying school supplies, because they're so thrilled the kids are going back to school. It just rubs me the wrong way! I love being with my kids, having them around, even if I'm reminding them 49 times to practice piano, do math, finish the poem they're working on, or stop tormenting their brother.

    (I do however LOVE the fact that my oldest is 12 and can babysit her siblings so I don't have to take 6 kids to the grocery store anymore. They were very well-behaved and I usually even got compliments about them. But the shopping trip just simply took longer and was more stressful with all of us.)
    1 person likes this.
  32. cwinslow7

    cwinslow7 Well-Known Member

    I'm one of those awful moms who started the countdown before school was even out in June. I wasn't cut out to be a SAHM, I ended up in this situation because of the economy. I love my boys dearly, but I'm smart enough to know (and openly admit) that I'm a better mother and appreciate my time with them if I am not with them all the time. I can now focus on getting my business back up and running and contributing to our finances, I can get more errands done in half a day than I could in an entire week when all three were home, I can actually have a conversation with an adult while I'm out instead of a borderline rude greeting on the go because if I didn't keep going I would lose a child or 3, I can sweep and mop the floor with out having one kid track my dirt into the other room where the floor is wet and proceed to slip and scream for the next 20 minutes (I have one overly dramatic 4 yr old ;) )

    Yes, I love my children- but boy was I doing the happy dance on Aug 17th. :woohoo:
  33. brookbranplus2

    brookbranplus2 Well-Known Member

    I am one that looks forward to my older children going back to school. One reason being that my Dd has ADHD and I find it very difficult spending a lot of hours with her. Please don't judge me unless you had a child like that yourself. I love her dearly and miss her when she's gone but I know that having that time away makes our relationship better and the time we do have together is more enjoyable. I also have 2 that are still home with me and I get to spend more quality with them while the older ones are gone. Another reason is that they are getting bored and looking forward to seeing their friends (our school doesn't start till next weekend).
  34. KYsweetheart

    KYsweetheart Well-Known Member

    I am one who likes for them to go to school. It gives them structure, they learn important lessons and they learn things we can't teach them at school. They get the social interaction the need and that is great. I also like them being at home, we have a lot of fun together. They are my Wii playing buddies, LOL
  35. kim01

    kim01 Well-Known Member

    i'm not celebrating,i have never understood parents celebrating that. I hate when my kids start school. i love when my kids are out of school. we have such a great time doing crafts and fun stuff. we get to hang out and do some really cool stuff. i just don't get it,i hate them starting school. its actually sad for me.
    so your not alone. :(
    1 person likes this.
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