Did anyone have to convince their DH?

Discussion in 'General' started by Stacy A., Jul 27, 2009.

  1. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    My kids are only going to be 4 in Sept, so we aren't ready for formal homeschool quite yet. But, I am going to do preschool at home this year. The more I've read and researched, the more I see homeschooling as the best option for the long-run as well. I would like to see how this year goes and then, if things seem to go well, continue through kindergarten and beyond. I am overwhelmed by the benefits and really want the best for my kids.

    But, DH simply says "no" whenever it is mentioned. We haven't sat down to really talk about it, yet, though. Partly because I want to be fully prepared while not overwhelming him with information and partly because he sees it as a non-issue - of course our kids will be going to public school; it worked for us (that last point is debatable since I felt bored and never did my work, yet coasted by based on test scores, leaving me totally unprepared for the demands of college).

    So, did anyone else have a DH who was against the idea of homeschooling? How did you approach the subject? What did you initially share? Are there some simple resources I can share with him (he won't be willing to read a whole book, but maybe a short article or two)? After talking, what were the real concerns he had? Anything else you can share?

    I would like get him considering it now instead of springing it on him right before I would have to register them for K. I am fine if it takes all year to convince him, but really hope he does eventually come around.
     
  2. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    I did not have to convince DH, but after my year of preschool at home I realized I am not a natural teacher and they go to school now. I am good in what you might call "natural learning" settings, but I am not good as a formal instructor. It takes a tremendous amount of patience--I have the greatest admiration for teachers now--and I lack that quality.
     
  3. mel_michigan

    mel_michigan Well-Known Member

    My husband was not on board in the beginning. My oldest DD attended public school K-3rd. We decided to try it over last summer and see how things went. I think my husband had the biggest adjustment in realizing how much time is wasted in public school with logistics. It was hard for him to see the kids spend a lot less time and be convinced they were learning. Finally it took me sending them to him to read some of their books with for him to understand that they were learning. I can not comment on preschool because my kids all attended play based preschool (2 days a week, two hours a day)or were in the local public school EC classroom because of speech needs. I start supplemental learning at home from the beginning. We are working with my DS4 this summer as well, although he will attend EC for speech in the fall.

    I will look because someone on this board game me some excellent resources on socialization for that arguement. I would also do a lot of research on what your school is offering. It amazed me and my DH to see what classes are expected in the middle and high school compared to what we were expected to do. They are certainly dumbing things down in our area, and we are a top rated district, very sad. That helped. They are also expecting so little science and history/social studies in elementary which I think is important. I also made the arguement because I use Singapore math, as singapore is rated 1st in the world in math, compared to the lowly US. It's a nice hands on method. All those things helped. I think my husband now understands after a year. His view of our public school has definately changed. I was on the highest track in high school and was very bored and underchallenged. It led to a lot of poor decisions on my part when I went out into the real world. Best of luck.
     
  4. mel_michigan

    mel_michigan Well-Known Member

    My husband was not on board in the beginning. My oldest DD attended public school K-3rd. We decided to try it over last summer and see how things went. I think my husband had the biggest adjustment in realizing how much time is wasted in public school with logistics. It was hard for him to see the kids spend a lot less time and be convinced they were learning. Finally it took me sending them to him to read some of their books with for him to understand that they were learning. I can not comment on preschool because my kids all attended play based preschool (2 days a week, two hours a day)or were in the local public school EC classroom because of speech needs. I start supplemental learning at home from the beginning. We are working with my DS4 this summer as well, although he will attend EC for speech in the fall.

    I will look because someone on this board game me some excellent resources on socialization for that arguement. I would also do a lot of research on what your school is offering. It amazed me and my DH to see what classes are expected in the middle and high school compared to what we were expected to do. They are certainly dumbing things down in our area, and we are a top rated district, very sad. That helped. They are also expecting so little science and history/social studies in elementary which I think is important. I also made the arguement because I use Singapore math, as singapore is rated 1st in the world in math, compared to the lowly US. It's a nice hands on method. All those things helped. I think my husband now understands after a year. His view of our public school has definately changed. I was on the highest track in high school and was very bored and underchallenged. It led to a lot of poor decisions on my part when I went out into the real world. Best of luck.
     
  5. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    Thanks, ladies. We already know I am going to do preschool. Sending them to preschool was never something we considered, but it wasn't based on the idea that I would teach at home. We just don't see the need for preschool. I decided to teach them because they enjoy it and are eager to learn. I've chosen to organize our "school" and be more formal in my teaching because I want to see how it goes and see if homeschooling works for us. It is just the future when they would normally go to school that I will need to convince DH about.

    I majored in education (secondary, English) in college. I didn't receive my degree due to medical and financial issues, but I had completed all but one semester of classes and my student teaching semester before I had to cease my studies. I took a lot of education classes that applied to all grades, observed and volunteered in several grade school classes, and have substitute taught in grade school. So, I feel comfortable in my teaching ability in general. We'll see how it goes with teaching my own children and maintaining the structure and organization necessary in our home.

    Our school district is horrible and it is simply not an option that they will attend school there. However, there are several good districts nearby we could send them to for small tuition costs (my DH's old school is just $250/semester). Because our refusal to send them to our district opens up so many other options (in our area there are many different small districts really close together - probably at least 10 districts in a 10 minute drive just on this side of the river and not counting Ohio at all) I don't think telling him how bad our district is will help much. :(

    Please keep the advice coming!
     
  6. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    My DH was hesitant when I first brought up the idea of homeschooling. In my case though, DD was failing in public school so he was willing to give it a try. We school on a year by year basis and that will go for the boys as well. We are doing kindergarten this year. I have asked DH what he expects by the end of this school year and have goals he would like met. I don't think they are unreasonable. If for some reason I fail miserably this year with them, we will be sticking them into PS K. We had intended on holding them out an extra year anyways. Will your kids make the cut off for the 2010-2011 school year? Our school district has a cutoff of Aug 31st and by looking at your ticker, yours might be very close to that. If they miss the cutoff, you could do kindergarten at home that year and maybe you could show him how far ahead of others in their class they would be. I will admit I am very jealous of the ladies out there that have full and dedicated support from their DHs.
     
  7. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    Ours will make the cutoff (Oct 1) for 2010-2011. They might be the youngest in their class, but I couldn't imagine holding them out a year. They already seem ahead of the kids going into kindergarten this year at church, in both scholastics and maturity. I just imagine them being so bored if we held them back. Since I have personal experience in this, I can't bare for this to happen to my kids. The ability to work at their own speed is one of the real drawing points for me.
     
  8. me_and_my_boy

    me_and_my_boy Well-Known Member

    My boys just turned 4. They are going to preschool (they love the school), but I'm planning to homeschool K. I think it will be one of the hardest things I've done, but I have one child who is very advanced academically (Gifted) and one that is above average academically. When Ethan read to me 106 out of 110 sight words on his first try at age 3.5, started counting backwards from 179 to 0 without missing a number and counting to over 1000 by 5's right as he turned 4, I knew I could not send him to public school (or probably private school either). Anyway, here is an excerpt from an article I was reading about Gifted vs. ADD kids on homeschooling.

    Alternative Education:
    Homeschooling is by far the most popular option and growing rapidly in popularity. This is an outstanding option for parents who can do it. People worry WAY too much about "socialization." Kids these days don't learn socialization skills at school, they learn anti-socialization skills. Like teasing, bullying, and how to form clicks and exclude anyone who doesn't "fit in". The school-yard and bus-ride pecking order is similar to "Lord of the Flies." Often gifted children and children identified as ADD take the brunt of this sort of abuse and may be traumatized for life. There are plenty of socialization opportunities for homeschoolers, including sports, clubs, playing with friends, camps, volunteering, etc.

    Homeschooled children are, on average, ahead of their peers academically, often by several years. And they spend less time studying because there is less time wasted. Homeschooled children are eagerly accepted by colleges, where they perform BETTER than other children. Gifted children usually do very well when they are homeschooled. Studies are showing that homeschooled children are getting a much better education that kids in the public schools (especially in the U.S., partly because standards in American public schools are so low.)

    The specific requirements for homeschooling vary. In the U.S., check with your state. In some regions, children are allowed to attend public school on a part-time basis.

    There is a tremendous amount of information about homeschooling on the Internet, and there is no reason for me to duplicate that. An excellent website to start with is The Homeschool Legal Defense Association. You can find regional requirements from this website.

    There are also alternative types of schools, such as the Montessori School. For more information see my page on Alternative Education.


    Here is the link to the entire article http://borntoexplore.org/gifted.htm

    Hope this helps some.

    Mendy
     
  9. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    My DH was totally against it. He didn't want our kids to be backwards socially, and didn't think I was organized enough to pull it off. So when Sage was 4, I started doing preschool-type activities at home. She learned to read pretty quickly, picked up most everything I taught and it was just so fun for both of us. When it came time for K, I just simply didn't go register her, and kept up with what we were doing. I don't remember when he actually was totally on board, because it was gradual. Now he's a HUGE homeschool proponent. We were talking a couple months ago and I asked him what he'd do about school if I died. He said he'd use my life insurance to be able to stay home for awhile and teach them, then find a wife who was willing to do it. Good luck with that, LOL!
     
  10. Username

    Username Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid we won't hs until we get to that point.

    My son has been asking to home school off and on for over a year; more adamantly the past few months. My spouse is not cool with this because ds is doing fine(ish) in school and doesn't (yet) hate it. I say he is doing fine(ish) because he doesn't stand out to the teachers. In public he is polite and self-controlled and follows the rules to a T. I think he is behind in his reading but the school feels he is fine. I think he is behind socially, but the school says he has many friends, gets along well with others and behaves appropriately.

    I want to hs because I feel like we put our lives on hold for 9 months and then get to live again for 2.5 months. I'd rather explore what is of interest to me and my kids and when it comes time to transfer back to high school or college, we can just cram in the actual book learning. My partner agrees that makes sense, but doesn't think it is practical with a 6 year old sib in school and two toddlers who are also pretty needy. I feel like I am barely making it through the day now (dp travels 4-6 days a week and is then home 1 or 2 days) with 4 kids, not one of whom sleeps through the night.

    How do you make the leap to what you know is the right thing for that child, but maybe not for the whole family?
     
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