Father's Day- at a loss

Discussion in 'General' started by Dani Boyle, Jun 13, 2012.

  1. Dani Boyle

    Dani Boyle Well-Known Member

    So this weekend is my son's Cub Scout pack family camping trip and Father's Day. It is going to be tough because my XH- my twin's father- passed away on March 2nd. I'm not exactly sure how to handle things. I know that I'll take the kids to the cemetery but other than that I'm at a loss of what to do to celebrate it with them.

    I grew up without a father so Father's Day was never a big deal. When XH and I split I made sure that the twins were always with him on Father's Day, just like they were always with me on Mother's Day.

    Any suggestions would be great!
  2. silver_stardust

    silver_stardust Well-Known Member

    My sister and I and our families release balloons on the day our father passed away. Maybe that could be something you and the kids could do for father's day. They could write a father's day sentiment on a card, tied to the balloon or they could write something on the balloon itself and than release them. We like to think that those balloons reach heaven and that our dad can see them and knows they are from us. Of course, we know that's not the case but somehow it makes us feel a little better. Just a thought. Good luck on whatever you do and so sorry for your loss.
  3. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    Do you have any old photo albums or scrapbooks from when the kids were little? With a divorce, I know you may not or may not want to pull them out, but if you have something and are comfortable with it yourself, maybe you could spend some time looking through memories of their dad?

    I like the balloon release idea, too.

    Also, I wonder if you asked your kids if they might have ideas for something to do? Or maybe give them a few choices?
  4. Dani Boyle

    Dani Boyle Well-Known Member

    The only real photo album I have is our wedding pictures. We split up about 16 months after we got married before the twins turned 1. I have pictures of them and their dad, just not a ton of stuff.

    I've asked them what they want to do besides the cemetery but they don't have any ideas.
    Thank you!
  5. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    I think it is beautiful that you want to do something and that you are going to the cemetery with the boys. I just do not think you need to do much more. My father recently passed and I will visit the cemetery but to do much more seems un necessary for me. I might take my children (his grandchildren) out to a donut shop that he used to take them. I have my memories of him in my mind and heart so this will be enoug for me to take..
    1 person likes this.
  6. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    I think visiting the cemetery is a great idea. :wub:

    And...since you are mom and dad now, I say you all go and do something fun to honor his memory, and also celebrate all you do for them. :good:
    1 person likes this.
  7. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I like this!
    I also love the balloon idea.
    I wish you and your children all the best and I am sure whatever you do wind up doing, it will be a fitting way to honor your children's father :hug:
  8. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    Is there anything that they used to do specially with him (like a particular park or museum) that you could all go to? That way the memory of their dad would be incorporated but you could all still enjoy your day/celebrate with your family as it is now.

    The other thought I had is similar to Cheryl's idea about the doughnut shop; if he had a favourite food/meal or a special way of cooking something maybe you could eat that for dinner (assuming it's something you all like).
  9. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    I was thinking about this today. Could you visit his parents so that they (the children and grandparents) could have that family connection to him. His family might have photos they could to look at with their grandchildren also.
    1 person likes this.
  10. Dani Boyle

    Dani Boyle Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately his parents are both gone. His father passed away when XH was about to turn 8, his mom passed away 7 years ago. He has 2 sisters, but they have plans with their husbands and children to celebrate together.

    Thanks for all the suggestions. It's hard because while there were times that I couldn't stand XH after we split up, we were lucky enough to become friends in the past year. It's been hard on me now because I am Mom & Dad. I just feel like it isn't fair that my two have to grow up without their dad. :cry:
  11. Dani Boyle

    Dani Boyle Well-Known Member

    Most of the time they spent with him they'd watch movies or play the Wii. Taking them out to his favorite place is an idea.
    Thank you!
  12. cricket1

    cricket1 Well-Known Member

    Is there a place the two of you used to go either before were married, and you could share a few stories with them, or after you were married, before you split up? Make it as much about celebrating your family as him. They are at the stage the stories could be fun for them to hear and help connect to him. Good luck
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