Friendships and playing in groups

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by Loranda, Sep 11, 2016.

  1. Loranda

    Loranda Member

    I'm hoping someone has some advice for me regarding my 6 year old daughters' social lives.

    At school they have a small group of friends that all play together. One of my twins, C, is really outgoing and shines in group settings, she feels like she belongs with the group. She does however, tend to favor her friends over her sister L in subtle ways, and won't check in on L if she's upset. L is outgoing as well, but does better in 1-1 relationships.

    L follows the group around and plays well sometimes, but other times finds herself feeling left out, not understanding how to play with the group, or feeling lonely and sitting out on her own. I think there's an implicit pressure on L to play well in a group like C does, or play with C and follow here wherever she goes because at home they are best friends. L really does like the group of girls and wants to be friends with them.

    I'm not sure how to help them navigate this situation. L ends up in tears almost daily when they are with their friends. I try to encourage C to look out for her sister, and then I try to encourage L to maybe find another friend, someone who's playing by themselves. I just think she'd do so much better with a one-on-one friendship. L really does like the girls from their little group though, and struggles because she thinks C takes over a bit, and L doesn't feel the opportunities to connect with the girls she likes.

    Does anyone have any advice for me? I am totally lost on how to help L! TIA.
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I think you are doing the right thing to encourage C to look out for her sister and encouraging L to find another friend.

    Maybe if there is a girl that L enjoys playing with, have a scheduled meet up with that girl and have C doing something else to see how it goes?
  3. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    That's a tough one, and I'm not sure I can answer well because my two are b/g twins and have always had a separate group of friends. I think you are doing the right thing by encouraging L to find a friends she can play with one on one, but if she is in the group I don't think its unreasonable to ask C to help L feel included until she gets the hang of this social skill.
    shazmom likes this.
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