Holding Back Multiples in School

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by cmancuso, Jan 24, 2007.

  1. cmancuso

    cmancuso New Member

    I have identical twin boys that turned 5 in June of 06. They started school in August of 06 in a full day Kindergarten program in Texas where they proceeded to struggle with the curriculum. In November we moved to OH opted to pay extra to enroll them in a full day vs. the half day standard program and they are still struggling with the curriculum as well. In both schools they have been separated.

    My question is has anyone else dealt with the issue of holding one or both their children back in Kindergarten. My feeling today is that they may not be academically or emotionally ready to move on but I don't want to make the mistake of pushing them on only to regret it later.
  2. Caleb2Cody

    Caleb2Cody Well-Known Member

    My boys turned 5 in July of last year. With my mother being the elementary and middle school councelor, it was her recommendation and many other teachers to not start the boys until this year in Kindergarten because most boys are ready, mentally. Also with them having summer birthdays they would be behind developmentally and physically compaired to some of the other boys in that class. So we put them into the county pre-school program, which is better than any day care, and they will do their kindergarten screening in May. I would say that if there is a transitional 1st grade that they could go into, that would probably benefit them more than passing them on into the 1st grade when they probably are not ready. The other option is to hold both of the back to developmentally and physically mature a little more. That is the only problem that I have struggled with, is that Cody was ready for Kindergarten, however Caleb was not. I didn't think that it would be fair to send one to Kindergarten and not the other, because I know that Caleb would have never passed the screening tests last year. Hope that this helps a little.
  3. Tripsmommy

    Tripsmommy Well-Known Member

    I'll just tell you what we did, and what I've seen as a middle school & elementary teacher. Personally, our boys were 6 in June 06 and are in Kinder this year. They were beyond ready (academically)last year. at age 4 they were reading at nearly a first grade level, doing simple math, but rather immature. So,we did this for several reasons. 1) their due date was not til late Sept, making them micropreemies, 3 mos early, and just because you arrive early, doesn't mean you get to do everything early. (they would not have made the cutoff date if they had been born on time). 2) I am in my 10th year of teaching. I have seen boys that were held back, and boys that should have been held back. No, not all males are immature, many just take a little longer to do so... and, it doesn't just show up in Kinder and first grade. It also is apparent in the middle school years where maturity really plays a role. I don't regret holding ours back for a second. I will tell you that I have had parents tell me they regret not holding their child back in the early years, and feeling like it was too late to do so in middle school.
    My nephew did K as a 5 year old (August bday, not a twin, not a preemie). Then they moved and he did K again as 6 year old in a dif school. One of the best decisions they made for that boy. He is now in 7th grade at age 13 and doing very well. I'm sure he would be fine as an 8th grader preparing for HS, but he is better off being a 7th grader right now. If you have any questions in your mind, talk w/ their teachers, your husband, etc... But it is easier (in my mind) to adjust now, instead of later.
  4. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    I did the same with all my boys, all of whom have summer birthdays. None of them started kindergarten until they were six. My own recommendation would be to hold both of them back now, or if your state has a transition class between K and 1 to see about enrolling them in that for next year. Our reasons were more emotional readiness than anything else for not starting them in K at the tender age of 5 for many of the reasons the pps have mentioned. Sean our oldest began reading at age 4. He was a true whiz kid in every sense of the word, but emotionally he was just not ready for all day kindergarten. We have never regretted not sending him earlier. He is now 16, still a whiz kid as a sophomore, and more importantly a mature 16 year old. The same goes for my twins. We decided that paying for another year of preschool was worth the sacrifice to give them the same benefit of the doubt as we did Sean. They attended a fabulous fives program at their preschool which was wonderful. They are now 12 (6th graders) and we have never regretted our decision. And as a mom of older boys, I will also tell you that not only will you see the advantages now as young boys, but in middle and high school, I continue to see the advantages. Their maturity level is better able to cope with a lot of the pressures of school. I always imagine them at the grade level they could be at, dealing with the pressures, and know that they are right where should be grade wise. I honestly don't think you will regret holding them back, but it is possible you could regret sending them on if they are not emotionally/developmentally ready to move ahead.
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