my B/G turning 9 on dec 31,,,no friends

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by shazmom, Dec 5, 2016.

  1. shazmom

    shazmom New Member

    hello all
    so happy to have found a place where i can link to twin moms.i have B/G twins turning 9 on dec 31.2016 are already in 4th grade .that means they are youngest kids in their grade .when they started school i was always trying to be around them by volunteering at their school .they were separated from kindergarten .at that time i was more worried about them getting into studies ,i mean higher grades from beginning .they are well behaved and smart kids .due to my other single complicated pregnancy i just got busy with my new baby .
    now they are in 4th grade ,really good graders and basically my daughter is more outgoing so she has been on top of almost every activity in school .she is born leader type .she is always ready to help others .my son who is just a minute younger is on the other hand is the follower .
    now in 4th grade i just noticed that all the kids, boys and girls are getting together at different parties and parks and all but only kids missing be my twins .i am getting really upset about it lately .i am trying to go out of way to their moms ,having kids play date at my house ,but everyone forgets it as soon as they leave my house .my kids are strong but i can see on their faces that they are upset about it too.i look at the pics on Facebook but try not to tell my kids about most of them .i am a different skin color and was not born in usa but my kids are born here...?
    my daughter is in girl scouts almost 3 years ,she is going there but have no girl talking to her ,in the early years i thought it will get better over time but its getting worse .ny daughters troop leaders and their girls simply IGNORE her presence, even mine sometimes . i was so upset this year that i told my daughter to quit but she didn't want to quit .so i am back in that uneasy situation .do you believe that all of them does not acknowledge her presence ,they all start playing together and my daughter is always trying to talk or get into their conversation but no use .i am getting more sensitive about these now ,don't know how to make it better .i asked another troop to let my daughter join but they simply said no .in that troop girls are a little more nicer .but i have to get stuck because no option i am getting worried that its gonna spoil my daughters personality and specially now at this age .?
    tell me what should i do ,the other troop leaders are nice and so are the girls but they said they don't have room for more .?
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm sad to hear that. If the other girl scout troop will not take your daughter, I would see if I could speak to the troop leader and say you feel like her presence is ignored by other girls and leaders and how can we rectify this.
    As for school, I would bring up the social concerns with the teacher. How are the twins in school socially? Are they playing with other kids at recess? Do they just play with each other?
    Your twins turn 9 a few days after mine. Mine are in third grade and they go to a small school, which means they are in the same class. They do talk and play with other kids and in third grade, it's probably the most social they've been. But they will play together at recess, it's not like they go their separate ways. The other kids in their class just seem to accept that my two are a package deal and will play with them both.
    shazmom likes this.
  3. shazmom

    shazmom New Member

    i really appreciate your reply ,
  4. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am also sorry to hear this. I just don't understand...
    I agree with Nancy, I'd talk to the troop leader about your concerns and ask that she help your daughter to feel included, same with school-set up a conference and let the teachers know that your kids need a little assistance fitting in with other kids-maybe they can find a few other kids with the same problems and pair them up-or maybe even the school counselor could be of assistance.
    My twins are B/G as well and turn 9 in January-they are in 3rd grade. My son is very outgoing an has many friends. My daughter has a very small circle of friends and sometimes feels left out or caught in the middle of conflicts-luckily my best friends daughter is the same age and at the same school so they've grown up together and have had a relationship since infancy, a built in best friend if you will.
    Are their other families at your school or in your community with the same culture as yours, perhaps you could reach out to them on resources to help.
    I would continue to host playdates for your kids and hope that eventually some closer relationships will form.
    *big hugs*
    Please keep us posted on how things progress.
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