Out of state wedding, kids not invited

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by debid, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    My brother is getting married this Summer. He and his fiance have opted for a dinnertime event beginning at 5 (7PM our time). The boys' bedtime is 7-8 (depending on when they got up from their nap). I asked him directly and he told me that kids aren't invited but that if it's the difference between us being there and not being there to bring them. It wouldn't be a big deal if they were getting married here -- I'd get a sitter. But what the heck am I supposed to do when the wedding is in a city where I know absolutely no one? Do I bring them to the wedding knowing they will blow up mid-event and we'll have to make a hasty exit? Leaving them home is not an option -- there isn't anyone here who could watch them for days.
     
  2. Mistyled

    Mistyled Active Member

    I understand your concerns. We went to a Baptism over the weekend that the kids were invited to, and it was pretty trying. I don't have much advice, but was wondering if you have a babysitter that you would be comfortable taking along with you? After screening about 50 different girls, we found a college student that we love who is going to help us out for the summer and take a few trips with us. Wouldsomething like that would be a possibility? Good luck!
     
  3. rosie19

    rosie19 Well-Known Member

    Can you ask your brother if he can ask around to some of the other people in the area that are coming to the wedding... perhaps someone has a teenage/college age son/daughter that could watch your kids in the hotel. We considered this a few weeks ago when we went to Colorado for a wedding. Originally we were going to bring Oliver, but then it just seemed like a lot of work and managed to arrange both sets of our parents to watch all three kids. When we were planning to take him, DH's friend (the groom) had arranged for one of his cousins to babysit.

    -Catherine
     
  4. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    I was going to say the same as Catherine. Once when I was a teen, I babysat for some friends of the family I regularly babysat for while they were at an event. I am sure your brother knows someone, and then you could do a phone interview and check references. Good luck!
     
  5. dfaut

    dfaut 30,000-Post Club

    We had our h.s. reunion last summer and one gal from out of town hired someone that one of our friends recommended. She stayed in the hotel with the kids! One was 3 mos. and the other 3 yrs. (roughly). I think they had videos etc..... worked out fairly well for her!

    Also, you might be surprised if you do end up taking the kids with you!! Every once in a while they can stay up late and not melt down. There will be so much activity, they might just pass out in their stroller eventually (I would have it, just in case).

    Good luck!!
     
  6. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Would you be able to bring a babysitter with you? When my sister got married on Cape Cod (not far, but still was a weekend long thing), we had my niece's friend come down for a couple of days. My sisters both brought their babysitters, too. One of my sister's is actually bringing her babysitter when they go to FLA in June.
     
  7. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    It's a $450 flight so I'm not so sure about buying a seat for a sitter :( When they picked the location, they were thinking of the bride's parents who are not well health-wise and would have great difficulty travelling. Those are the only two people they know who live in the area. Everyone else is travelling from 5 hours to many states away to attend.

    To make matters worse, DH is using this as an opportunity to berate my parenting skills because I haven't shifted the boys' bedtime to something later and more convenient to his schedule like 9 or 10PM. Nevermind that they wake at 6-6:30 regardless of when they go to sleep and that their bedtime is based on their natural wakeup time and getting enough sleep. He's absolutely convinced that it's "abnormal" to go to bed so early and that NOBODY else puts their kids down at 7 (of course, the person he asked has a 12-year old!) Oh, and the fact that their schedule works and they go to bed happy and easily doesn't matter in the least.

    I'm just so incredibly frustrated right now.
     
  8. CapeBretoner_123

    CapeBretoner_123 Well-Known Member

    Ask your brother to see if he or his future wife know any sitters or agencies. Late wedding are designed to be kidless, quieter affairs. Get a sitter and sit back and relax. Hard part would be finding one in a new area.
     
  9. Julie L

    Julie L Well-Known Member

    You could check to see if there are any sitter agencies in the city where you are going. We used a sitter from an agency last summer when we took the kids with on a business conference for dh. My attendance was required at some of the events. We ended up with the same sitter both nights and she was awesome. The kids loved her. We were a little nervous about it at the time, but it ended up great. We would definitely do it again.
     
  10. MusicalAli

    MusicalAli Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(debid @ Apr 26 2007, 09:56 PM) [snapback]235061[/snapback]
    To make matters worse, DH is using this as an opportunity to berate my parenting skills because I haven't shifted the boys' bedtime to something later and more convenient to his schedule like 9 or 10PM.


    That's insane!!!! Sorry, I know this is not the topic of the post but a 9-10 bedtime for toddlers? Are you never allowed to have time to yourself? Nevermind how that would affect them. What about when they start school? Oy. I'd be frustrated, too.

    Anyway, about the topic at hand, I, personally, wouldn't want to drag my toddlers to a wedding even if they were invited. Where's the fun in that? (No offense to your children. I'm sure they're lovely. LOL). I agree with the others. Have him find someone local. That's what we're doing for my sister's wedding for guests coming in.
     
  11. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(debid @ Apr 26 2007, 05:56 PM) [snapback]235061[/snapback]
    He's absolutely convinced that it's "abnormal" to go to bed so early and that NOBODY else puts their kids down at 7 (of course, the person he asked has a 12-year old!) Oh, and the fact that their schedule works and they go to bed happy and easily doesn't matter in the least.

    I'm just so incredibly frustrated right now.


    Oh blah! Well, I bet if you took a poll on the 1-5 board right now, most people put their kids down around 7pm. That's our bedtime too, so there, you know one person. ;)

    Anyway, I would be having the same issues as you. We're not slaves to their schedule, but mine don't last much beyond 7:30. Maybe call the hotel and see if they have a babysitting service? Maybe DH could skip the ceremony (Since it's your brother, then he can join you at the reception), get them to bed, and then the sitter basically just has to sit there. Or maybe just take them to the wedding and then cut out when they start melting down. I'm really not sure what I would do.
     
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