postpartum depression

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by fuchsiagroan, Jul 4, 2010.

  1. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Postpartum depression can happen to any new mom, and having twins puts you at significantly higher risk. In all the whirlwind of taking care of two new babies, it's important to take care of your own needs too.

    When depression hits after having the babies, it can be overwhelming and scary, and you may be feeling guilty for not being totally overjoyed the way new moms are so often expected to. If you want a safe space to seek support from other moms, you are always welcome in the antepartum and postpartum depression and anxiety forum. This is a private, password-protected forum. Please feel free to PM me or DATJmom for the password.

    Here are some signs of PPD to watch for, some of them obvious, others less so:

    -Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, apathy, despair, guilt, worthlessness. Can take the form of "I'm such a horrible mother, I'm failing my babies."

    -Inability to enjoy things you used to enjoy. When you finally get a minute to yourself, nothing sounds good.

    -Not feeling better after you finally get a break. Your partner takes care of the babies, you get an afternoon off, and you still feel just as bad as before.

    -Inability to bond with the babies. Feeling detached from them, like they're not yours, like you're just the babysitter, or even resenting them and wishing you could give them away.

    -Appetite changes. Lack of appetite (nothing sounds good) or increased appetite, emotional eating.

    -Sleep changes. Yeah, I know, with two babies, how can you tell? But keep an eye on what happens when you actually have an opportunity to get some sleep: when the babies are sleeping or when your partner is on call for them, are you able to fall asleep and stay asleep? If you're a lucky mom with babies who are sleep champions, do you feel rested after a good night's sleep, or does it seem like it's never enough?

    -Anxiety that you can't talk yourself out of. Can take the form of intense worrying about the babies' health (SIDS, RSV, etc) or development, or about your ability to be a good mom, or about family finances. Or it can just be a persistent "on edge" feeling.

    -Irritability. Again, with two babies, how can you tell? But try to compare it to other times in your life when you've been under intense stress. And can you relax and get past things, or does every little thing tick you off and mess up your day?

    -Trouble thinking and making decisions. Feeling slowed down, like you're thinking through mud. Deciding what kind of cereal to have for breakfast is just too hard.

    Here are some myths about PPD:

    -MYTH: If I seek help or if anyone finds out I have PPD, the authorities will think I'm crazy and come and take my babies away.

    Absolutely NOT true. Nobody is going to separate you from your babies. Seeking help for PPD shows what a good and caring mother you are. Your babies need a happy, healthy mom, and that's what you're giving them by getting help.

    -MYTH: Everyone keeps telling me to "snap out of it," but I just can't. I must be so weak/lazy/worthless.

    Depression is physical. You can't "snap out of it" any more than you can "snap out of" strep throat or a sprained ankle. It's OK and normal to need help.

    -MYTH: If I take an antidepressant, I won't be able to breastfeed anymore.

    Actually, a number of antidepressants and other meds are safe to take while breastfeeding. You don't have to wean if you don't want to.

    -MYTH: PPD only happens immediately after giving birth.

    PPD can strike at any time in the first year. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter so much whether it's called PPD or just "regular" depression: the symptoms and treatments are the same.

    -MYTH: Only moms get PPD.

    While dads don't have to cope with all the pregnancy/birth hormones we do, adjusting to two new babies is still a huge challenge, and can trigger depression in men, too. Wanting nothing to do with the babies may be a sign of depression, and not just a stereotypical "guy thing."

    If you think you might have PPD, it's worth talking to someone as soon as you can. Most OBs and GPs can diagnose and treat PPD. You have absolutely nothing to lose by sharing your concerns, and the sooner you get help, the sooner you'll get better and feel like yourself again. No matter how dark and bleak everything seems now, you can and will feel better. :hug:
    6 people like this.
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    great information Holly! thank you.
  3. Kateryna

    Kateryna Well-Known Member

    So happy to see this. I was really struggling for the first 4 months and the 1st months was the worst. I could not understand why I even ever wanted to get pregnant and so on. Very dark place and very lonely place too. Very bad thoughts. It did go away but not for a while and with twins it took longer and if you did infertility treatments to get pregnant like me, it takes even longer because if hormonal disbalance. Hang in there and make sure you talk about it with someone. Every woman goes through this. You are not alone! <HUGS>
  4. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Holly, :thanks: for the great info!
  5. 5280babies

    5280babies Well-Known Member

    Thanks for posting this Holly. As someone who went through PPD, I think it is so important to recognize and mothers should not feel embarrassed to talk about it or seek help and support.
  6. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Looking back, I can see I went through PPD with terrible anxiety and not being able to enjoy myself. I thought it was normal to feel that way! I wish I had pursued treatment so that I could have enjoyed those early days a little more and do better for myself and the kids. This is a great list of symptoms.. and any other mothers out there, if you see yourself in this list tell your doctor. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
  7. tiff12080

    tiff12080 Well-Known Member

    Holly!!! :thanks: If I had read this early on I would not have waited to seek treatment. You hit the symptoms right on! I think this will help many new moms seek help faster!
  8. danabd

    danabd Well-Known Member

    Im going to add something here for any new moms that may seek help here...people dont talk about this enough-it is not uncommon to have intrusive thoughts of hurting your babies or yourself.....many believe it only happens with postpartum psychosis, a very rare form of pp mental health disorders. BUT It is common with PPD and PP-OCD(obsessive compulsive disorders). There is one big difference in the thinking. With psychosis, you believe you should hurt your child and are delusional. this is a very serious disorder and you very likely will not realize you need help. With ppd/ppd-ocd, the thoughts pop in your head and cause you great distress. You then beat yourself up for having the thoughts and wonder what kind of mother you are. your a great mom if your reading this and there is help! I am a therapist, a mom of twins, and I was so bothered by these thoughts about these two beautiful babies, who I wanted more than life itself. I did not even realize I was depressed until I started having these thoughts sporadically. However, many dont talk about this scary symptom for fear that theyre babies will be taken. It is so common with ppd...dont feel alone. Just reach out and get help. Trust that most professionals will know you are seeking help because you know this is not you, and these thoughts disturb you...not that you have any intention of acting them out. If you ever need any support feel free to pm me!
  9. Tonia L.

    Tonia L. New Member

    Hi, I'm new to this site. What is pm? How do I do it? I a new mom of boy/ girl twins age 10 1/2 months. I really need to talk to someone.
  10. Tonia L.

    Tonia L. New Member

    Omg! I just realized what PM stands for. Ugh. I'm sorry.
  11. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    Tonia, I am sending you a message. You're also welcome to start a thread within this forum to hear back from our many supportive members who have been through similar things.
  12. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    Tonia, please feel free to contact me as well. My boys are almost 10 months and I was diagnosed with PPD.
  13. rinaownsu

    rinaownsu Active Member

    This post is amazing! THANK YOU so much for the information. All the details explained are exactly what I was going through and I don't feel as lonely/guilty after reading this post. PPD is REAL and I thought it was just be going crazy. After reading this it is easier to cope and know this too shall pass.
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