Relatives calling your child a different name/nickname

Discussion in 'General' started by ckreh, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. ckreh

    ckreh Well-Known Member

    I am just curious how some of you would handle this situation. Max & Lily just turned two and are talking like crazy now or at least Max has caught up to Lily. My 90-year old grandpa has started calling Max by another name/nickname. He calls him Maxie, which DH hates and it kinda bugs me too. It would not be a big deal because he sees them about every 2-3 weeks, but now my 4-year old nephew has picked up on it and because Lily idolizes her cousin she is now copying him. Now we have three people calling him Maxie.

    I think DH wants me to say something, but what do you say to a 90-year old who called his own grandkids: Krissie (Kristin), Audie (Audra), and Mikey (Michael). I say we just ignore it, but I think DH is worried it is going to stick because the other kids have started using it. Plus his sister started calling him Cliffie after his Grandma called him that once and she still calls him that every once in awhile and he is almost 40.

    So what would you do? It is not a huge deal, but just looking for some opinions.
     
  2. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I still love having a special nickname from my papa. And when he came up with a nickname for my son, I loved it even more because of how much it meant to me. Of course, now even Royce is calling himself "Roycie" and I finally started doing it too. So I guess his name is "Roycie" now. :D

    That's how nicknames evolve.
     
  3. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    He's 90, I would let it go. It's his thing to add an "ie" to names of the grandkids, he's not going to change. Let's be realistic, he doesn't have that much time left to enjoy his great-grandchildren.
     
    5 people like this.
  4. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    100% agree. Allow him to use the nick name.

    I would however correct other people when they use the nick name no matter how young or mature they are. If they say "well great grandpa calls him Maxie" you can tell them "yes he does and that is his special name for Max."
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    forgot to add that the only child in our family that has a nick name is "Teeny". We did not care who used it when talking to her. Now that she is older she can tell people if she does or does not want them to use the nick name.

    Someone wanted to use nick names with our other children but they were told we prefer you use their given name. None were in their elderly years though. Our children now correct people politely also.
     
  6. BellaRissa

    BellaRissa Well-Known Member

    This is a great solution!
     
  7. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree- let the older gent use the nickname, but reserve it for him. I do have this situation as well with my MIL and ILs, though. There is a "Zeb" (short for Zebediah) in their family. When we mentioned Sebastian as a name, they all immediately decided he's "Seb". DH & I hate it. We choose to ignore it, or turn the conversation away from it. We believe as he gets older people will stop or he will correct them. It's always hard when people want to call your kid by a name other than what you named s/he. It's as if they think no thought at all was placed in choosing a child's name.
     
  8. bkimberly

    bkimberly Well-Known Member

    I would let it go with grandpa but correct others.
    I hate when people refer to my DD as Zoe like Joe...I know it doesn't have a y on the end of her name, but these are people that know her and know her name!!! Zo-Zo is another one that makes me cringe!
     
  9. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We've always shortened Sebastian as "Sea-Bass". :D
     
  10. PumpkinPies

    PumpkinPies Well-Known Member

    What Cheryl said. And Kelly, too.
    My father calls Ella "Ell" and Rosalie "Rosie." They think it's cool that Grandpa has special names for them. He has a nickname for practically everyone in the family (like your granddad)and who knows, they might feel left out. I'd only draw the line if it were a hurtful nickname.
     
  11. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree with Kelly, I'd let it go. It might mean a lot to Max someday that he had a nickname given to him by his grandpa.
     
  12. ktfan

    ktfan Well-Known Member

    He's 90 years old, he's earned the right to do most anything he wants to do. I agree with the others that said let Grandpa call him Maxie but correct others saying it's Grandpa's special nickname for Max. Although if it were me, I wouldn't care who called who what as long as none of them were hurtful and the child did't mind.
     
  13. Kendra

    Kendra Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree with everyone else. When he gets older I'll bet he'll get into a "my name is MAX!" stage. (said the girl who made a football player bleed for calling her "Ken")

    This made me laugh. Apparently there is a Zoe that shows up in popstars type magazines and the kids insist on saying her name like Joe. There isn't a Zoe in the school right now so they haven't got that connection to make.
     
  14. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    I would let it slide.

    I was against Allison being called Alli then she got in school and it is an explosion of girls calling her Alli. So she is now known to everyone except me as Alli. And as if Zoe could not get any shorter people are calling her Zo (Z long o).
     
  15. ckreh

    ckreh Well-Known Member

    That was my feeling too; that he is 90 and he is the only great-grandparent they have. It is DH who has more of an issue with it. We saw the family last night for a birthday party, so of course it came up again. I like the idea of correcting others. If I told my grandpa he probably wouldn't remember anyway. I give him credit for being 90 and still drives, bowls on a league, golfs twice a week, and works 4-6 days a month in his old barber shop. I am 39 and don't have all that energy :D . I'm glad that most of the people were right on track with what I was thinking. Now I just need to get DH to relax :blink: ...maybe.
     
  16. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator


    Ooh, now that's original. I like it!
     
  17. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me that your DH is more against it because he dislikes being called Cliffie by his sister. I agree that with your kids 90 year old Great Grandparent it would be best to let it go. Like pp's said Max may end up liking his special name. I think nicknames are nice though, I have them for all my kids (more than one for most of them). There is a saying, I think from Sweden or Finland, that "a loved child has many names". :)

    Does your Zoe have dots on her e (like this: ë)? Whenever someone asks me why I have those dots I use Joe/Joey as the example of why they're needed. I've never been called Zo with any frequency but the twins and my best friends' 5 year old do call me Zo-Zo sometimes (they did it a lot more when they were younger), I don't mind, though maybe I would if it weren't children using it! ;)

    Alyssa and Bryony have a friend called Sebastian and when they were little they said it "Sea-Bass-tun" :lol:
     
  18. twingma

    twingma Well-Known Member

    I think you have been given some great info. I agree let it be great granddpa's name for him but if you dont want everyone else doing it you will need to nip it in the bud. Pt your foot down. With the little kids it will require repitition " Honey, his name is Max not Maxie ". Adults inform them it is unacceptable to you. I had to do this with my father in law with our first child. We named him Russell to which my father in law replied" How cute.. We have a Rusty in the family." And I was like "@#*! NO. If I wanted him called Rusty that is what would hav e been on his birth certificate. It is Russell". And the issue was closed at that.
     
  19. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    We were thinking of naming our son Richard for a first name but a relative said (when he found out) oh "Tricky Dicky" will be my nick name for him we rethought and went back the the original name Daniel and went with Richard for a middle name. It was just not worth it. I am very happy with the name we decided on although some people do try to call him Danny or Dan and he is not into that. At least not yet. He might change his mind later in life and that is his decision to make not other peoples.
     
  20. bkimberly

    bkimberly Well-Known Member

    My Zoe does not have the dots over her name. DH wanted to keep it simple, even though I liked it with the dots. I wouldn't and don't mind it when it is other children calling her Zo or Zo-Zo but it is the adults that make me crazy!!! :rolleyes: She has a nickname and we don't mind that others use it, she has been Bird since day two!
     
  21. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    If Max becomes upset when called this i would say something, if not, it sounds like it is your issue (or your dh's) and something you guys need to deal with.
     
  22. SC_Amy

    SC_Amy Well-Known Member

    I agree with letting it be Great-Grandpa's special nickname for him but correcting others. I can understand your H not wanting his son called "Maxie" by others because of the jokes that will lead to. ;) (Like in Get Smart when Maxwell Smart got called Maxi Pad ...)
     
  23. SuzyHolland

    SuzyHolland Well-Known Member

    make him a t-shirt for the next visit

    greatgrandpa relax
    only 90- have too call me MAX

    our boys named themself Coco/Cosmo and Kiki/Keagan
    it was really hard NOT to use the nicknames
    butt we did't . Only my parents liked them so much that sometimes my mom will use Coco/Kiki

    Now they call themself correctly and get upset if you don't...My name is.....!!!!!!

    I kept seeing my boys in a bar at 18 ( :drinks: yes we live in Holland)and telling a girl my name is Coco/Kiki :D :D
     
  24. Deb C

    Deb C Well-Known Member

    It used to bother me when people called Zack Zacky. I thought, if his name was Jack, they wouldn't call him Jackie because it is feminine. I did not like it at all. BUT, now I use it sometimes. When he's being silly and such. He's 6, if he were to tell me he didn't like it, I would stop. I usually just call him Zackary, but every once in a while Zacky slips LOL
     
  25. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    I didn't read the rest of the posts but what I would and have done is corrected people right then and there. I have had to tell DH dad that we named our son lucas for a reason and if we wanted people to call him luke we would have named him that instead. Kinda sounds harsh in writting but I wasn't rude when I put it across. I only had to remind him once and they never changed it again. My name was shortened all my life and now I am not used to it when people call my by my full name. Best of luck
     
  26. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    We actually have the opposite, in that we always thought they would be "Marc" and "Jon". When they started school they decided they would be "Marcus" and "Jonathan". Marcus will vehemently tell anyone who tries to call him "Markie", that he won't respond to that name, only "Marcus". I would let it go, like the other PPer's.
     
  27. cricket1

    cricket1 Well-Known Member

    My aunt tried out Vinnie when they were little and it may have been the immediate body reaction from me (I didnt say anything, there were lots of family around) but it has not happened since, now he corrects people and tells them it is Vincent more often than Vince (he seems to only use that when he does not want to WRITE out Vincent-lol) I would explain to others that that is a "special" name that great grandpa uses. That his real name is ...Max. When they are older they can and will decide what they like and correct (or ignore) people that call them something they do not like. But, while they are little I think it is your call
     
  28. cricket1

    cricket1 Well-Known Member


    But you're the mama and that comes with special privelidges! Like calling him zackey when no one else should.
     
  29. Deb C

    Deb C Well-Known Member

    That's what I thought LOL I seem to be the only one who calls him Zackary too. Ah well!
     
  30. j_and_j_twins

    j_and_j_twins Well-Known Member

    that's what I would do, let grandpa do as he pleases but correct the others
     
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