S/O of kissing your kids

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Utopia122, Jul 5, 2009.

  1. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    Kissing your kids topic made me wonder how many of you don't tell your kids you love them. I have never heard my husband tell any of our kids that he loves them, while I constantly tell them. He just views love as a four letter word and it is better to show than to tell, so he doesn't say it. He plays with them and loves on them, and shows them he loves them, but to my knowledge, has never told them (at least I have never heard it). We've talked about this and he always tells me he can count on one hand the number of times his dad told him. My husband comes from a great family, just not openly affectionate, therefore he isn't either. It drives me insane because I come from a very affectionate family, so I struggle with this a lot. Anyway, do you or your significant other tell your children you love them?
  2. daniv

    daniv Well-Known Member

    We say it often. DH and I both do. and DD will just come up to either one of us and give a big hug and say I LOVE YOU. It's one of my favorite things she does. DH and I both say it to each other alot through out the day. But for me even though we say it alot it hasn't lost it's meaning behind it.
  3. mich17

    mich17 Well-Known Member

    We say it all the time! To the kids & each other. It did take my husband a while to get used to it though.
  4. plattsandra103

    plattsandra103 Well-Known Member

    I say it all the time. like probably a good 4 or 5 times daily....and the last thing i say when i turn out the light in their room: "night night, sleep tight. mommy loves you." they have started saying it to me out of the blue during the day too, which i love. DH constantly tells them how sweet and cute they are but i'm not sure he uses the words "i love you" now that i think about it
  5. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I tell them all the time. My husband, not so much. He's a great dad but comes from a family that tends to keep their emotions to themselves, so I guess he's just not as comfortable with the words as I am.
  6. naomi02

    naomi02 Well-Known Member

    Absolutely all the time. In fact, have you seen the movie Elf? Know the part where he's singing a song to his dad ..... "You're my dad, and I came to New York to find you, but you didn't know I exist", something like that. I'll do my own version & sing whatever pops into my head and ad the last part "And guess what? I love you! I love you! I love you!" Hmmm.... that's gonna sound crazy unless you've seen the movie. :)

    But dd and I had a game for a long time where I'd say "Guess what?" and she'd say "I love you" or visa versa. Saying it out loud is soooooooo important. No matter the age of your kids.

    Absolutely all the time. In fact, have you seen the movie Elf? Know the part where he's singing a song to his dad ..... "You're my dad, and I came to New York to find you, but you didn't know I exist", something like that. I'll do my own version & sing whatever pops into my head and ad the last part "And guess what? I love you! I love you! I love you!" Hmmm.... that's gonna sound crazy unless you've seen the movie. :)

    But dd and I had a game for a long time where I'd say "Guess what?" and she'd say "I love you" or visa versa. Saying it out loud is soooooooo important. No matter the age of your kids.
  7. li li

    li li Well-Known Member

    Me: I continually tell the kids I love them, that they're gorgeous, that they're my little darlings etc.
    DH: Gosh, this is going to sound awful, but I have no idea! Certainly he never tells me he loves me but just expects me to know it - he comes from a lovely, but non-demonstrative family. I think he tells the girls, but I'll have to check.

    I'm not sure this is true or not, but I once went to a workshop on working with people with self-esteem issues (I'm a clinical psychologist) and the facilitator said that if your kids grow up knowing that no matter what they are loved and that you like/love/value them as a person then that's the most important contribution to their adult self-esteem. Now I reflect on it, perhaps that's too simplistic, but it certainly feels right at the age my kids are at now.
  8. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    We're a kissing family and both tell the kids that we love them. DH didn't do either initially and it was only after seeing them respond to my affections that he started. I believe in his family that mom was affectionate and dad wasn't. It wasn't until I pointed out to him that they are saying it back to me because I say it to them that it clicked and he started saying "I love you"... but it still seems like he's having to think about it rather than it being a natural behavior.
  9. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    I make a point everyday to tell them each that I love them and they are my favorite thing in the world. I dont remember ever hearing that from my parents so I wanted to start something like that with mine. I think they deserve to know just how special they are.
  10. caba

    caba Banned

    My most favorite thing in the entire world is hearing my kids say "I love you Mommy!" ... so I tell them all the time, just waiting for them to say it back! haha ...

    We do say it all the time ... both me and my DH ... we are a pretty lovey couple, so that's just kinda follow through to them ... lots of hugs and kisses, lots of "I love yous" ... when we put them to bed at night we all take turns saying I love you to each other ... man does it warm my heart when the twins yell "I love you Hailey!" and "I love you Jakey!"
    1 person likes this.
  11. Trishandthegirls

    Trishandthegirls Well-Known Member

    I tell my girls I love them fairly frequently, usually multiple times a day and certainly at bedtime. Even though I don't come from a kissing family, my mom used to tell us she loved us constantly. She ends all phone conversations with "I love you", still does. She used the phrase so much, in fact, that it stopped meaning much other than 'goodbye' to me. So, I try to use it a little more sparingly.

    DH doesn't tell the girls he loves them that often, but he has and he will, especially if they say it first. He does other things, though, to let them know they're loved. He tells P & C that they're smart, beautiful, wonderful, silly, etc. on a regular basis and hugs them whenever he can catch them.
  12. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Yes, all the time!
  13. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    All the time. Both DH and I. DH is very good about showing his love. He tells the kids he loves them all the time and he tells me, too. We end every phone call with "I love you" and he normally calls a couple times a day from work. We say "I love you" and give hugs and kisses every time one of us leaves and when we get home. We say "I love you" before bed, too. We say it a LOT.
  14. 2plusbgtwins

    2plusbgtwins Well-Known Member

    I dont really have any set times that I say it, except probably when Im dropping them off at preschool. But Im sure I say it at least a couple of times a day to each of my kids.
    My mother actually questioned whether I say I love you, to my kids because she thinks Im such a terrible mother or whatever. I told her just because she doesnt always hear me, doesnt mean I dont say it. Im glad pp's have said that if it is said to much, it begins to lose its meaning. I want my kids to know that love is meaningful and special and its not just for everybody. \
    Oh, and their father tells them as well, and we hug a lot.
  15. mandyfish3

    mandyfish3 Well-Known Member

    we both say it all the time! I think it's so cute to hear them say it back! :)

    Oddly, my family is very close and affectionate but rarely says it!
  16. KYsweetheart

    KYsweetheart Well-Known Member

    I can't count the number of times I tell my kids I love them. Its all the time I know that. DH tells them but not as often as I do. Of course he isn't home as much as I am either.
  17. hudsonfour

    hudsonfour Well-Known Member

    Yes, both DH and I say it all the time to the girls. My girls also say it to us quite often. Hearing the kids say, "I love you" is something I will never get tired of hearing.
  18. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    Same here. :good: It took my dh a bit to get used to it but now he's a pro! :laughing:
  19. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    I say it to them a lot and they say it alot to us and each other. DH does too, but not as much mostly at bedtime or in response to them saying it.

    I also look for opportunites to say things like they are strong, or brave, or caring, or generous, or smart. I make a point to use them in context[​IMG] but I think it's important for them to hear those things.
  20. first_second_and_last

    first_second_and_last Well-Known Member

    All the time. Seriously. All the time.
  21. my2littlebubbas

    my2littlebubbas Well-Known Member

    We say I love you all the time. Whenever we discipline them, we always end with you know "Mommy loves you" or "Daddy loves you." I love it that now they same "I love you too Mommy". Just melts my heart and I suddenly forget all of the things that have gotten them in trouble.
    1 person likes this.
  22. MichelleL

    MichelleL Well-Known Member

    We are another family that says it all the time. To the girls many times a day and to each other very often.
  23. NicoleT

    NicoleT Well-Known Member

    DH and I say it ALL the time to the kids. :wub:
  24. agolden

    agolden Well-Known Member

    Oddly enough, I rarely say I love you to the boys. I say it just before I'm leaving their room when I put them to bed but I don't think it resonates with them. I have no idea why I don't and I have recently realized that I don't and if I ever want to hear it back, I better start (though, of course, that's not the only reason). I can't imagine they don't feel loved. I have lots of cuddle time with them when I generally whisper sweet nothings in their ears. I have a little song I sing them that I have sung since they were little about them being mommy's baby. I kiss and hug them constantly. I grew up in a family that said I love you regularly. I have no idea why I don't say it to them.
  25. Twinnylou

    Twinnylou Well-Known Member

    I tell them i love them all the time. Love giving them kisses and cuddles too. I think i have only really heard DF say to the kids he loves them when they say they love him first. He really isnt that good at displaying his emotions lol. I love it when they come up and ask for a cosy or a kiss and then say i love you mummy.
  26. brandycaviness

    brandycaviness Well-Known Member

    We say it often here too. At least a couple of times a day. DH is better about it now that they are older. Nothing melts my heart more than one of them to run up and hug me tight and say "I LOVE YOU MOMMY" :wub:
  27. Callen

    Callen Well-Known Member

    We both tell all of our children that we love them on a regular basis.
  28. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    We say it plenty too. Always at bedtime/naptime, always right after getting someone out of time out, and other times too. DH loves to go through a long list - "Mommy loves you a lot, and Daddy loves you a lot, and Grandma loves you a lot, and..."

    The other day I asked them, "Do you know that Grandma loves you a lot?" And Ivy said, "Yes!" :wub:
  29. littletwinstars

    littletwinstars Well-Known Member

    DH and I say it every night before they go to bed with a hug and kiss. It's cute because they are at the age when they can reciprocate. We now have a 3 week old nephew and our children will hug, kiss, and tell him that they "wove" him. It's so cute! :lol:
  30. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    I always say it at bedtime, and usually when I'm dropping them off at school, but I don't think I say it many other times. I barely remember my parents ever saying it to me. I always felt loved and never noticed that they didn't say it -- I thought it was weird when I found out that my friends' parents said "I love you" to them all the time.

    So, I do try to say it more than my parents said it to me, but it just feels weird to me to be saying it all the time.
  31. aandax246

    aandax246 Well-Known Member

    I tell my husband, my grown daughters and my grandsons I love you. I end every phone conversation with each of my girls with I love you. The twins are just over 2 and they tell me they love me. It's very important to us to not only show we love each other, but to verbalize it as well.
  32. shoudeshell

    shoudeshell Well-Known Member

    Yup all the time! :) All day long whenever I feel like it, and they say it back. But especially before bed we say it. DH says it too, and ends all phone calls that way. We're very affectionate!
  33. nutty-mom

    nutty-mom Well-Known Member

    I say it all the time to my kids. The twins are just starting to give hugs and say I love you to me and my mom (who we live with) she tells them I love you a lot also. DH is not so good at it, his family just doesn't say it very much to each other. I think this is why the twins don't say it much to dad. When their big bro (20 yrs) says I love you to them they tell him I love you more then he says it to them. He started this lil game with them. It is so cute.

    My mom, their big bro (my older DS) and I also love to kiss the twins. They call it smooches. Again DH isn't big on kissing much either. He came from a not very affectionate or open family and mine is way over affectionate and open with kisses and hugs.

    :hug: Penny. :)
  34. Mum2TwinBoys

    Mum2TwinBoys Well-Known Member

    All of the time, a lot. I don't think it is ever enough. DH is working on it, he was not told often growing up so that is very difficult for him.
  35. sv2001302

    sv2001302 Well-Known Member

    all the time... i just couldn't imagine something happening to them or me and knowing i missed my opportunity.
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